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Wedding Etiquette Forum
amber2123
member
A big old honking wrench
I live in a different state than my family and most of my firends. My family is flying out for the wedding, but I told my friends that I would love to have them, but understood if they couldn't make it. My best friend, and the one I wanted to be my MOH(Amber) told me she was honered to be asked, but couldn't come because school/work and cash issues. I told her that I understood and that I would miss her dearly. I then asked my best friend out here(Randy) and she accepted. Well Randy has been verry pickey about dresses and not interested in any details, but has been having personal issues so I understand she's stressed. The wrench comes in at, Amber called yesterday and said that as her birthday present, her mom was going to fly her out for my wedding and got the time off work and school so she would be here. Yippee! Then she dropped a bombshell saying she would love to take the title of MOH if she could. This is my BEST friend. I'm havving issues with Randy, but I still love her and I'm totally lost for what to do.
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Re: A big old honking wrench
What if you made them co-MOH's?
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Books read in 2012: 21/50
Just make them co-Maids of Honor. Problem solved.
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BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
Like PP said, co-MOHs. If you don't want to do that, then you need to stick with Randy as your MOH.
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[QUOTE]I'm paying for the dresses, and I mean details like where the location is and what I would like done with her hair and thisng like that. Not little things that have nothing to do with her.
Posted by amber2123[/QUOTE]
Then just stop talking to her about the details. All she needs to know is what to wear and when/where to show up.
[QUOTE]I'm paying for the dresses, and I mean details like where the location is and <strong>what I would like done with her hair</strong> and thisng like that. Not little things that have nothing to do with her.
Posted by amber2123[/QUOTE]
Well the girl gets a say in how her own hair looks. Don't dictate hairstyles - not everyone is going to look good or feel comfortable with the same thing, and it's just so not worth the battle.
For other stuff, just thank her for her opinion and change the subject.
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I'd take your (unusual) future last name out of your ticker since you have your FI's name in your profile. Good internet safety and all.
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
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Married bio
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Travel and expat life blog
Married bio
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Travel and expat life blog
That being said, I do think Randy is being a bit ridiculous about the dress. Unless she's super allergic to every fabric except the one from this website or you've picked one that leaves her half-naked (which I doubt since you don't think sleeveless is a good idea) she should wear the dress you're going to buy for her.
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
[QUOTE]It's a religous thing, I didn't say anything about having to partake in a catholic or christian wedding and<strong> they understand that it has deep significant meaning</strong>. And I asked if they would rather sunrise or sunset. I feedback I got was that either was fine and they didn't mind getting up. I even asked my guests if they minded before I set the time, and none of them cared. I'm going to have coffee and pasteries before the wedding and then a big breakfast after.
Posted by amber2123[/QUOTE]
As you explained it, you wanted sunrise because of new beginnings and all that. So wouldn't sunset have the opposite significance? Why would that be ok?
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
[QUOTE]It's a religous thing, <strong>I didn't say anything about having to partake in a catholic or christian wedding </strong>and they understand that it has deep significant meaning. And I asked if they would rather sunrise or sunset. I feedback I got was that either was fine and they didn't mind getting up. I even asked my guests if they minded before I set the time, and none of them cared. I'm going to have coffee and pasteries before the wedding and then a big breakfast after.
Posted by amber2123[/QUOTE]
I don't really understand what you mean by that/what that has to do with anything.
Again, if you asked I might not tell you my opinion (well ok, *I* actually probably would, but I know a lot of people who wouldn't) because it's your wedding, and I'd tell you to do whatever. I still think it's inconsiderate to ask people to get up for a 6:30 ceremony just as I'd say it was inconsiderate to start your ceremony at 10pm.
That said, I do think a brunch wedding sounds fun...I'd just rather it be brunch at 11 vs. breakfast at 7.
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[QUOTE]So... why can't they be co-MOH's as everyone has suggested? What's the problem here?
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]
That wasn't one of the options, Kiki, look at the poll. Gawsh!
ttc chart
BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
- You are having your wedding at a really early, inconvenient time
- You are dictating attire by having all the men wear kilts (I understood this to mean guests will be asked to wear kilts too, if I'm wrong I apologize)
- You are dictating your BMs' hairstyles even though one is against it
- You chose a second-rate MOH instead of just not giving anyone that title when your actual best friend couldn't make it
- You now want to kick out and then replace said MOH
Randy's being ridiculous about the dress, I won't argue that, but since etiquette's well out the window on this one anyway, I say you just tie her down and stuff her into it on your wedding day.
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Wedding stuff.
Kick the biitch out of the WP and be done with it.