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Not Engaged Yet
Ring opinion
FI and I were talking yesterday about needing to look for wedding bands. He mentioned that he would like to change my engagement ring into a wedding band, and buy a new engagement ring. This is the engagement ring I currently have.
Have you ever heard of someone doing this? He thinks the ring looks too much like a wedding band and not enough like an engagement ring. I have small fingers, so I don't think I need much more bling on my finger. Thoughts?
Have you ever heard of someone doing this? He thinks the ring looks too much like a wedding band and not enough like an engagement ring. I have small fingers, so I don't think I need much more bling on my finger. Thoughts?
~~December 3, 2011~~
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Ring opinion
Anyway, I would just think about what you prefer- you're going to be wearing it. Maybe swing by a jewelry store and try on some different options to see what you feel. Bring him along, and talk about "more traditional engagement ring" vs "wedding band."
I think either way that would be your "engagement" ring, and the other ring he'd get you would still be your 'wedding ring' (even though it would look like an engagment ring). Personally, I don't think it's really how the ring looks that makes it an engagmeent ring, but when the ring was given to you (at your engagement).
I really love your engagement ring, and I think you guys can pick out whatever 'wedding ring' you want to go along with it- whether it looks more like an engagement ring or a wedding band, doesn't matter to me.
[QUOTE]Hmm... I've never heard of someone doing that, but I dont' see anything wrong with it. I think either way that would be your "engagement" ring, and the other ring he'd get you would still be your 'wedding ring' (even though it would look like an engagment ring). <strong>Personally, I don't think it's really how the ring looks that makes it an engagmeent ring, but when the ring was given to you (at your engagement). I really love your engagement ring, and I think you guys can pick out whatever 'wedding ring' you want to go along with it</strong>- whether it looks more like an engagement ring or a wedding band, doesn't matter to me.
Posted by bourgehm[/QUOTE]
That. I think it would look great with a plain band too.
Jeana... It is totally about his manhood. He doesn't think my engagement ring is "big enough". I'm the one who picked it out, so obviously I'm in love with it. He seems to think if it isn't at least 3 carats, it's not a "good" engagement ring.
I think your ring is beautiful and would lovely paired with a band.
If it were me I would probably pair it with a band that I really liked.
Also, it kind of sounds like you don't want a lot of bling. You're the one that has to wear it everyday.
He said yes.
Tell your FI that your rings have nothing to do with his manhood. A bigger ring doesn't prove that he can take better care of you. It isn't a clearer sign that you're "taken." Choosing the ring that YOU (the person who has to wear it) love and letting you have a bridal set that you feel comfortable in shows that he's a considerate and confident man. No one will think any less of him. Especially when they see how happy you are with what he gave you and how well it suits your tastes.
I had to laugh at DH, and he laughs, too. It's such a silly thing that guys think a ring has to be a certain kind or a certain size to prove something to the rest of the world (or maybe to us?) about what kind of man he is. We're the ones wearing the darn thing!
FI thinks it is all about what his clients think (once we're married, I'll end up doing a lot of networking/dinners with him). A bigger ring = FI is more successful.
I told him in a few years (when we don't have 2 separate house payments AND apartment rent) he could buy whatever he wanted me, but that it wouldn't be my engagement ring/wedding band. It would just be a nice diamond ring
Yeah, DH and I are pretty candid with each other. I find it easier to communicate if I just blurt out what's on my mind, and I think he appreciates that since he doesn't have psychic powers. I just say "Babe, is this about your ego?" and he says "Yep, it sure is." It's nice to be so honest with each other. It makes it easier to accept each other as-is, no false assumptions.
I think your compromise is great- it doesn't make much sense to spend a chunk of money on something you don't need or want when it's really just so he can impress people who probably won't even notice. But, it would be a nice gesture for him to get you something later, when your budget isn't so tied up and you guys have a bit more financial wiggle room.
[QUOTE]Haha... I love the fact that you point blank asked him if it was all about his manhood. <strong>FI thinks it is all about what his clients think (once we're married, I'll end up doing a lot of networking/dinners with him)</strong>. A bigger ring = FI is more successful. I told him in a few years (when we don't have 2 separate house payments AND apartment rent) he could buy whatever he wanted me, but that it wouldn't be my engagement ring/wedding band. It would just be a nice diamond ring :) Compromise accepted!
Posted by Ember01[/QUOTE]
Spend $30 and get a big honkin' CZ ring that you can wear specifically for those dinners if he's really concerned about it.
This being said, I say do whatever you want to do, but dont accomodate his needs, you will be wearing it not him. I would also suggest going to multiple jewelry stores and trying on different rings.
I don't know if you would consider this but that could be your right hand ring and get a "traditional" engagement ring and maybe a thin diamond band / or white gold band.
I say dont go with what you have to do, do what you want when it comes to wedding rings.