What would you do?

louisvillebride21 · May 2010

Lol, I realize what we're arguing, I promise. It's the public versus private thing. I guess I see it as, not everyone is offended. I wouldn't even guess the majority would think that. I don't see how you see that the woman is disrespecting herself if she's totally covered.

crfische · May 2010

Totally covered with a human hanging off her boob?

Does she know people are talking and laughing and saying that's its inappropriate?

(this is where all moms and bel say that OF COURSE they know that and the "well being" of their child is more important).

sucrets4 · May 2010

I get it, fish, but I also don't think that private should = bathroom.

louisvillebride21 · May 2010

I mean, I don't always make the best fashion choices. I'm sure people have laughed at it before. Do I care? No. I don't think the woman really has to care. If she did care, she would obviously choose to do it in other places. Granted, I'm not a mother yet, but I don't exactly plan on BF in public. I will go sit in my car and take care of business. But I don't begrudge a woman the right to do as she sees fit for herself, her child and her 'lifestyle' so to speak.

crfische · May 2010

I adore all you moms, so I'm not about to be Fishy vs. the moms with words put in my mouth that don't exist.

Because it's getting misconstrued as that.

I just dont dig people breast feeding in public. that's it.

XOXO,
Fishy

sucrets4 · May 2010

Night, LVB!! Have fun tomorrow!!

lyndausvi · May 2010

Fishy.. . I'm on your side.. it's not like I do not agree wth BF because I do. I'm just not with the rest of the world.

The 'public' is so new.. I find it hard to believe that women in the 1800 find this is normal.. Yes they did BF.. But these woman did not show their knees or in some cases their hair.... do you really thing they whipped out their boobs to breastfed? in 'public". IMo they did not..

I'm 40 and remember when they first mall opened. Point is back in the day we did not have malls and other stuff so this was not even an issue. People just did not BF in public because the 'public' did not even exist.

RandiLakin · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:05874939-c5a3-4d20-9c7e-d6a867f36322">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Fishy.. . I'm on your side.. it's not like I do not agree wth BF because I do. I'm just not with the rest of the world. The 'public' is so new.. I find it hard to believe that women in the 1800 find this is normal.. Yes they did BF.. But these woman did not show their knees or in some cases their hair.... do you really thing they whipped out their boobs to breastfed? in 'public". IMo they did not.. I'm 40 and remember when they first mall opened. Point is back in the day we did not have malls and other stuff so this was not even an issue. People just did not BF in public because the 'public' did not even exist.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

wow...you are so right!! i never thought about this. Absorbing this and taking this in is like mind boggling. There really never was places people would go that there would be crowds.

Okay...im done with being awed.

Blueyed228 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:8c665cd0-0bf4-478b-9cd4-a326666ca599">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]I also agree with Fishy. Actually I just dislike watching it all together. Boobs out are boobs out. One of FI's sisters did it and wasn't totally covered in front of him and I think it bothered him. Why is it suddenly ok to whip your boob out once you have a kid?
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

Im late to this, but this is my opinion.

I dont mind if there is a blanket covering it though.

jajph1974 · May 2010

I'm disappointed that I missed this discussion

luckyme502 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:05874939-c5a3-4d20-9c7e-d6a867f36322">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Fishy.. . I'm on your side.. it's not like I do not agree wth BF because I do. I'm just not with the rest of the world. The 'public' is so new.. I find it hard to believe that women in the 1800 find this is normal.. Yes they did BF.. But these woman did not show their knees or in some cases their hair.... do you really thing they whipped out their boobs to breastfed? in 'public". IMo they did not.. I'm 40 and remember when they first mall opened. Point is back in the day we did not have malls and other stuff so this was not even an issue. People just did not BF in public because the 'public' did not even exist.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Okay, this is the most illogical argument yet. Really? Do you want to go back to when woman had to be totally covered? How about woman weren't allowed to be in public by themselves, most women past a certain stage in pregnancy had to stay home and weren't allowed out. And, if you had any kind of money, you weren't breastfeeding your own kid, you had a wet nurse. So, you didn't have to worry about feeding them at all. I just don't get what this has to do with this discussion.

lyndausvi · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:bb2b54cb-e94a-4859-8c46-cb88147a136d">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : Okay, this is the most illogical argument yet. Really? Do you want to go back to when woman had to be totally covered? How about woman weren't allowed to be in public by themselves, most women past a certain stage in pregnancy had to stay home and weren't allowed out. And, if you had any kind of money, you weren't breastfeeding your own kid, you had a wet nurse. So, you didn't have to worry about feeding them at all. I just don't get what this has to do with this discussion.
Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

of course not.

Just pointing out that people even 50 years ago people did not go out in public like we do now. Shopping was not a hobby and going out to dinner was only for special occasions. So BF in public was rare because people just did not go out like we do now. Families hung out at home with friends and families.

I'm sure in the next generation societies opinion on the matter will match our new lifestyles, we are not there just yet.

luckyme502 · May 2010

Also, I call bullshit on you remembering when the first mall opened. The first malls in America opened in the 1910s. The very first indoor mall in America was built in 1890. Totally enclosed shopping malls became popular in the 1950s. My mom is in her 50s and she doesn't remember a time without malls where she grew up in NJ. I could call my grandmother who is almost 80 and ask her, but I don't really think it is necessary.

Even without malls, people still went shopping and out to eat. They went shopping in shopping districts or downtown. So, public has been around for a very long time.

lyndausvi · May 2010

I misspoke. The first mall in DE opened in 1978. Before that I had know idea they even existed anywhere else in the world. We only small strip malls. People just popped in got what they wanted and then popped out. They did not have food courts and stuff to hang out for the day like they do now. Shopping was done for a purpose. Now shopping is an activity when you are bored.

topchef33 · May 2010

If she was covered up I wouldn't care. If she was whipping her boob out for all to see, then yes I would have a problem.

brookelynpaisley · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:831e9764-d3eb-4d65-811f-b03e13d83b5d">What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just watched Primetime: What would you do? And one of the scenarios was a mother breastfeeding her child in a cafe, and the owner asked her to stop or leave because he said it was offensive to do that in public. Would you be offended, would you say anything? Would you intervene and take up for the mother or owner? 57% of Americans find breastfeeding in public not appropriate.
Posted by RandiLakin[/QUOTE]

I haven't read any responses, but if she was covered, the cafe owner was completely out of line. Even if she wasn't, he should have asked her to cover up first or even go to a more private area. As I can't imagine she just whipped it out in front of people, I would say he's definitely in the wrong. I'd like to think I'd have the guts to say something, but I'm a pansy and would probably just give him the stink eye and not return.

crfische · May 2010

I agree with that Brooklyn. I don't think she should have been kicked out.

I just don't agree with breastfeeding in public. I don't think she should have been kicked to the curb or anything.

mandysmear · May 2010

If it were me breastfeeding, i wouldn't do it because I wouldn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable regardless of how comfortable I was with it.

And also, people are disgusting and I wouldn't be surprised if some people in that public place got turned on by it. Then before you know it, you've turned on some fuckingcreep and he's whacking off under his table. Believe me, this happens.

ootmother2 · May 2010

It's very simple to breast feed a baby without 'flashing". Anyone who sees too much is paying too much attention and probably has his face in the mother's cleavage anyhow!

It's a also very easy to turn your back to the room to nurse.

jens_a_ten · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:05874939-c5a3-4d20-9c7e-d6a867f36322">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Fishy.. . I'm on your side.. it's not like I do not agree wth BF because I do. I'm just not with the rest of the world. The 'public' is so new.. I find it hard to believe that women in the 1800 find this is normal.. Yes they did BF.. But these woman did not show their knees or in some cases their hair.... do you really thing they whipped out their boobs to breastfed? in 'public". IMo they did not.. I'm 40 and remember when they first mall opened. Point is back in the day we did not have malls and other stuff so this was not even an issue. People just did not BF in public because the 'public' did not even exist.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Holy balls, this is the dumbest sh*t I've read in a long time. What the hell are you even talking about? People have been out in "public" with one another since the friggin beginning of the human race.

I killed myself laughing at the "I REMEMBER WHEN THERE WERE NO MALLS!" though, so thanks for that.

As far as BFing, as long as the woman is covered up, I don't see what the issue is. At least in everydayy, casual situations. I don't think it's appropriate in fancy restraurants for dinner or things like that. But that's mostly becaus I don't think it's appropriate to have an infant in those situations period.

LeighPA · May 2010

Well.

I am a mom. I have breastfed in public, and I WILL breastfeed in public when I have my next child. There is a way to do it discreetly. Never in my life have I flashed any part of a breast while breastfeeding. I see more tit on stupid drunken girls. In fact, I'm willing to wager that many of the naysayers in this thread have been in rooms.restaurants/what have you where a woman WAS breastfeeding, but she was doing it so discreetly, they didn't notice.

As society gets more green and lovey-dovey and "crunchy" (in terms of parenting), breastfeeding in public wil be stood up for and defended more and more. There will be more women doing it, and there will be more women refusing to go sit in some unsantiary bathroom to feed their baby. I understand there will always be people who are offended by that. My only contribution is to keep it discreet. My baby trumps some woman in public who cannot get over the concept. Always will.

And as far as the public being a "new thing?" FAIL. Mega-turbo-mondo-FAIL.

Lastly, I had all the answers to what I would and wouldn't do as a parent...before I was a parent. That is the ONLY time we know precisely what we're doing, when we don't have kids. Parenthood is a learning experience for everyone involved, but mostly the parents. Every single day my daughter and my stepson-to-be put me in scenarios where I have to challenge myself and rethink what I thought I had already decided. It would be interesting to revisit opinions ten years from now, when circumstances in lives have changed.

robinmichael · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:2194be79-1463-4892-866a-9c53f3630476">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : Because it's the child's food source. Many mothers choose not to formula feed because of the chemicals and other things that can be found in formula. Breastfeeding also has many health benefits that cannot be replaced in formula, like antibodies. It also reduces a mother's risk of breast cancer. If every woman breastfed for at least the first 6 months of their child's life, it would save the US $13 billion a year in health care costs (clicky) . I honestly feel that there's nothing wrong with seeing a boob. It's a boob. If fat men can be shirtless at the beach, women should be allow to breastfeed. I have much nicer boobs than those fat men at the beach.
Posted by btrflykate1230[/QUOTE]
amen Kate. Funny thing, I personally think that these women may be more worried about their fellas oogling our breasts as many of them spend so much time on the knot they haven't seen their breasts since their wedding night YEARS AGO. Eyeroll. Be gone demons!! lol

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