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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Any thoughts on a do-over proposal?
I have no idea where this should go, but figured I'd ask here.
So my FI "proposed" to me over a year ago while watching a movie and it wasn't really a proposal. It was kind of like a mutual agreement. I wish it had been more romantic, but I'm happy with my FI so I don't even care.
It took me forever to find the ring I wanted and it'll be in late January when we get it. When we get the actaul ring, my FI is insisting on taking me out to a nice dinner and proposing right. I told him he doesn't have to but he is set on doing this.
Okay, so has anyone heard about/ done this? How am I supposed to react if we're already engaged, especially if in a restaurant full of people? Help!
So my FI "proposed" to me over a year ago while watching a movie and it wasn't really a proposal. It was kind of like a mutual agreement. I wish it had been more romantic, but I'm happy with my FI so I don't even care.
It took me forever to find the ring I wanted and it'll be in late January when we get it. When we get the actaul ring, my FI is insisting on taking me out to a nice dinner and proposing right. I told him he doesn't have to but he is set on doing this.
Okay, so has anyone heard about/ done this? How am I supposed to react if we're already engaged, especially if in a restaurant full of people? Help!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Any thoughts on a do-over proposal?
generic blog link.
[QUOTE]I have no idea where this should go, but figured I'd ask here. So my FI "proposed" to me over a year ago while watching a movie and it wasn't really a proposal.<strong> It was kind of like a mutual agreement.</strong> I wish it had been more romantic, but I'm happy with my FI so I don't even care. It took me forever to find the ring I wanted and it'll be in late January when we get it. When we get the actaul ring, my FI is insisting on taking me out to a nice dinner and proposing right. I told him he doesn't have to but he is set on doing this. Okay, so has anyone heard about/ done this? How am I supposed to react if we're already engaged, especially if in a restaurant full of people? Help!
Posted by mandctaft[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That is pretty much how my proposal was. I loved it, honestly. I'm not one for romantic stuff.</div><div>
</div><div>I think it would be silly to have a do over. You are already engaged. There is no need to do it again.
</div>
It was true, he was not on bended knee, and he went back to the kitchen, and finished making chicken sandwiches. The sandwiches were delicious.
I just think it's silly for any "do-over," and it's basically the same as already being married, but then going through the theatrics and having a PPD. Silly.
Just celebrate your anniversary.
[QUOTE]<strong>H did it for me. He "proposed" initially when I was turned away from the border by saying "So, you wanna get married?" and I thought he was kidding until we talked about it when we got back on the road to take me home.</strong> He came up a couple months later, asked my mom, and got down on one knee and everything with a ring (that he had already been saving for). Honestly, I was so devastated the first night that it was nice to have that moment together where he got to say what he really wanted and to just be happy. But if it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have insisted on it, I still considered us engaged in the months between the two.
Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Aw. I actually think that is really sweet. </div><div>
</div><div>I asked H if he wanted to get married as a joke. He said yes and I thought he was joking too until we talked about it that night.
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Any thoughts on a do-over proposal? : Aw. I actually think that is really sweet. I asked H if he wanted to get married as a joke. He said yes and I thought he was joking too until we talked about it that night.
Posted by eorea[/QUOTE]
<div>Oh it was. Like I said, I wouldn't have died without the second one, it was mostly at H's insistence. But it was pretty awful not knowing when I was going to get to see him again and that kind of ruined it for me, that night at least. </div>
FWIW, I did get a bended knee. However, it was in the parking lot of work in the dark with some co-workers staring while they smoked nearby. Was it what I'd envisioned? No. But I'd never ever ever consider asking FI for a do-over (or allowing him to do one) because about the result of the moment (ie: I get to marry the man that I love) rather than the moment itself.
I suggested he just let me have the ring since we were already engaged and everyone knew we were. Plus, the first proposal was really sweet and romantic. I didn't feel a need for a do-over. I thought it was kind of silly. But he really wanted to do it. So we got all dressed up, went to our favorite french resturant and he proposed right before dessert. The funny thing is, even though I knew it was coming and we had already been engaged for 8 months I still got all tear-eyed and happy. Just something about loving him and him talking about getting married. So I didn't fake anything. I was genuinely happy, even if I thought it was a tad silly. Then I saw the look on his face. He was over the moon happy. I don't really understand why, but it was something he wanted to do, it made him happy and it didn't harm me in any way.
Planning Bio
[QUOTE]My proposal was in our apartment, in bed, with no ring. I wouldn't ever change it, and I wouldn't ever have re-done it.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]
I think our brains are connected somehow today!
This is what I was trying to say ;-)
Fatty Blog
[QUOTE]Yeah, I don't really see the point. I mean, you're already engaged, why do you need theatrics? Or why does he need theatrics?
I think movies ruined a lot of peoples expectations. Not everything has to be a public, surprising, tear-jerking moment to make it special. Getting engaged, no matter how it comes about, is special.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
Very true!
But I do sorta see NOLAs point. However:
As long as you don't do a PPD wedding do-over, OP, you will be fine.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]I dont think what NOLA mentioned is the same as what OP is saying. NOLA means that the girl knows it'll eventually happen, but not the specifics of when or where. OP is engaged and will know the when and where of the proposal as though she planned it herself. To an extent every girl (or boy!) knows it'll eventually happen, if it's heading in that direction. But to actually be engaged and go through a do-over seems silly. Like, they're embarrassed to tell the story of how it happened to their grandkids... so they create a new story to tell. But when telling the story they leave out how it was all planned for exactly that moment.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
<div>That's true. I didn't really consider the importance of OP knowing the exact time and place. I just don't think it's a huge deal because it's not like a do-over PPD where you involve other people in the reenactment. </div>
Fatty Blog
[QUOTE]I wouldn't do it, but this isn't a hill to die on. If he wants to do it, I don't see any harm in letting him do it.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
That was my thought process. Afterwards a little old lady came over to our table and told H how sweet and thoughtful his speech was. She apologized for eavesdropping but said she couldn't help herself. H had this ear to ear grin on his face and I could tell he felt like Prince Charming or some other disney character. Now that made me truly happy, to see him that happy. He indulges me plenty of times in things I know he thinks are silly but unimportant.
Planning Bio
[QUOTE]Like I said, I'm trying to talk him out of it, because like you all have pointed out, we are already engaged. I think I'd be embarrassed. I told him if he wants to propose, he can do it in our living room, then we can celebrate, but he wants to make it super special. I have been trying to figure out a better arguement as to why he shouldn't do it. I guess I still have a month to figure it out haha.
Posted by mandctaft[/QUOTE]
Have you tried telling him that you already feel like it was super special? I mean, there were no balloons and confetti, but, dude, you're engaged! And I mean that in a good way. Not in the "omfg you're enagaged, get over it!" I mean it in the, "break out the champagne because you're engaged!" kind of way. That is total cause for celebration!
Out of curiousity, have you guys been telling people you're engaged? Maybe someone said something to him about it?