Poll: Would you ever swing? Yes, sexually.

Bubbalub · February 2010

I voted no way in hell, for me. But I wouldn't begrudge another couple their choice to swing. I just know that for FI and I it would be a betrayal and the thought of him with another woman makes me gag.

I don't know any true swingers (at least, no one has come out and confided in me about it) but I do know several couples with open marriages. I don't see that as working for me either, for the reason stated above. It works for them, though, so whatever makes them happy. I will say that the couples I know in open marriages are, none of them, the most emotionally stable people and seem to have some serious personal issues within themselves. I think many of them use the open marriage idea or being "polyamorous" (fuuck I hate that word, it gets thrown around here in SF WAY too much) as a way to cover for those personal insecurities and make themselves feel better by having many partners and being "wanted".

notquiteblushing · February 2010

I'm reallly suprised at these answers to tell you the truth. I've been in happy open relationships before. It's not something I see happening anytime soon with FI but I'm not totally against it. Flame away. I think tthe U.S. is a little uptight when it comes to sex.

CaptiolBride · February 2010

it makes me crindge even thinking about FI touching someone else. ECK. HELLL NOOO

sucrets4 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_poll-would-ever-swing-yes-sexually?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71407e5c-793c-4b7c-aa56-b0b677e17d50Post:0af17f66-71e2-46c4-8144-905f9e606b59">Re: Poll: Would you ever swing? Yes, sexually.</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm reallly suprised at these answers to tell you the truth. I've been in happy open relationships before. It's not something I see happening anytime soon with FI but I'm not totally against it. Flame away. I think tthe U.S. is a little uptight when it comes to sex.
Posted by notquiteblushing[/QUOTE]

I'm more surprised that people are so judgy, although I guess I should have expected it.

What one couple is okay with, another couple might not like. This goes for EVERYTHING. That'd be like telling someone that you judge them for having sex standing up. Just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean that it's wrong.

All I can say is that I know my personality and that I wouldn't be cool with it. Although I hate to admit it, I get very possessive over things in general and DH counts as one of them.

However, I see nothing wrong with it if everyone is on the same page.

notquiteblushing · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_poll-would-ever-swing-yes-sexually?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71407e5c-793c-4b7c-aa56-b0b677e17d50Post:5084b459-b11e-4a61-8422-4d900755defe">Re: Poll: Would you ever swing? Yes, sexually.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll: Would you ever swing? Yes, sexually. : I'm more surprised that people are so judgy, although I guess I should have expected it. What one couple is okay with, another couple might not like. This goes for EVERYTHING. That'd be like telling someone that you judge them for having sex standing up. Just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean that it's wrong. All I can say is that I know my personality and that I wouldn't be cool with it. Although I hate to admit it, I get very possessive over things in general and DH counts as one of them. However, I see nothing wrong with it if everyone is on the same page.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

Yes thank you, it's really the judgment that bothers me the most too. If I learned anything during my nonmonogamous time it was that jealousy was a real human emotion that had to be recognized and dealt with. That's true in a one on one relationship or an alternative. I've looked into this issue a lot and really I think the most healthy relationships are the ones where you can accept that romance ebbs and flows and it's unrealistic to say you'lll never be attracted to another person.

Stepping off my soapbox though, do whatever you want. I really don't care what people do as long as it doesn't endanger other people.

thesuninherhead · February 2010

In my current relationship, I wouldn't; H and I have a sexual connection as well as an emotional connection, and it's important to me (well, and to him, I presume) that we keep those aspects of ourselves for one another. Certainly, I would not feel comfortable with doing so.

That said, in my previous long-term relationship sex was less important to me, and I could have engaged in swinging without feeling threatened or disloyal if we had both wanted to do so and had been provided with the opportunity.

Not to say that those who do engage in swinging don't have a good sex life- it could be quite the opposite!- but just that for me with H, we share a sexual intimacy that I don't feel inclined to share with anyone else (either in a swinging or threesome/multiple partner way).

Ishaba11 · February 2010

I put No way in hell. I dont think FI would ever do it. I cant even look at another guy who isnt my brother without him getting a little jealous. However, I'm a little more sexually experimental than he is. I dont think I could ever do it but I wouldnt say never. As long as I am happy there is no reason to be looking elsewhere in my book.

Poll: Would you ever swing? Yes, sexually.

Re: Poll: Would you ever swing? Yes, sexually.

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