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Wedding Etiquette Forum
jelenybeany
member
Bachelorette
Random question about a bachelorette party
I was recently invited to friend's bachelorette party. I would love to attend, however the MOH who emailed me indicated that everyone needs to bring a bottle of wine, an appetizer to share, and $75 in order to pay for the limo, champagne, and masseuse she's hired for 10 minute neck massages.
Is this a bit much? My bridesmaids paid for everything at my bachelorette party. I didn't have a limo because they couldn't afford it, and I still had an awesome party with all the girls I love.
Not really sure what to do here. Is it normal to expect party attendants to chip in this much? I can't possibly afford to chip in $75, pay for wine and food, and then go out drinking all night. On top of a bridal shower and wedding gift. However, I'd be super bummed to skip the party.
Sorry in advance if I'm way off base here, and I need to suck it up. I've never been to a bachelorette party other than my own.
I was recently invited to friend's bachelorette party. I would love to attend, however the MOH who emailed me indicated that everyone needs to bring a bottle of wine, an appetizer to share, and $75 in order to pay for the limo, champagne, and masseuse she's hired for 10 minute neck massages.
Is this a bit much? My bridesmaids paid for everything at my bachelorette party. I didn't have a limo because they couldn't afford it, and I still had an awesome party with all the girls I love.
Not really sure what to do here. Is it normal to expect party attendants to chip in this much? I can't possibly afford to chip in $75, pay for wine and food, and then go out drinking all night. On top of a bridal shower and wedding gift. However, I'd be super bummed to skip the party.
Sorry in advance if I'm way off base here, and I need to suck it up. I've never been to a bachelorette party other than my own.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Bachelorette
Wedding stuff.
There are ten girls invited too...She also said she got a groupon for the limo...I just got one emailed to me the other day for $75 for a four hour rental! This is only 2.
The sad part is the bride would most likely be mortified if she knew we were all being asked to chip in so much. I would have been really disappointed if my maids had asked people to give money towards a limo, and someone declined coming to my party because they couldn't afford it.
I thought of going to just the pregaming part, but feel awkward saying, "can I give you less money if I don't use the limo?"
Personally, I'd email the MOH back and say "I'd love to come, but I won't be drinking champagne, getting a massage, or using the limo". If you're going to drink wine and eat the shared apps then I think it's fair to pitch in for that part; kind of like paying for your own food/drink when you go out.
Thanks for all the feedback.
[QUOTE]Asking bparty guests to pay their own way for activities like a massage isn't outrageous, but I've never been asked to chip in for a limo or to bring food/alcohol AND chip in money to stuff. For my Bach, everyone paid for their own dinner, then we went back to MOH's apt. He provided the booze and some prepared snacks and everyone else was told that if they wanted to bring their favorite hangover junk food, they could but not to feel obligated. I would expect to chip in on food, or pay for a massage, but food, booze, and chipping in 75 for limo/massage? Just for the "pregame"? I'd decline in a hurry!
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Yeah my maids prepared snacks and margaritas and we played games at my moh's house. Then we all went to dinner where my maids split the cost of my food, and everyone bought their own dinners. What I liked about that was if someone was too poor to buy dinner, but wanted to come, they could come have a drink at dinner. Or they could have skipped dinner all together, but come out dancing after. I feel like there is no option for me to participate in any of this without forking over a ton of cash. $75 would be one heck of a date night for H and I.
Let me reiterate that I don't mind at all bringing food and wine, and paying my own way for things that I could opt out of. She just made the masseuse and limo fee sound mandatory for participation. "Please let me know if you're coming by sending a check for $75 to (insert address) by August 1."
I also don't see if we're providing all the food and drink how a 2 hour limo rental and a masseuse giving super short massages is going to cost $750. And I'm concerned about what happens with two or three girls opt out. Am I going to be asked for more money?
I don't know anyone that will be at the bachelorette party besides the bride. I'd feel super awkward emailing her MOH and asking not to pay. I guess I just need to decide whether to just decline, or to suck it up and fork over the cash.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Bachelorette : Yeah my maids prepared snacks and margaritas and we played games at my moh's house. Then we all went to dinner where my maids split the cost of my food, and everyone bought their own dinners. What I liked about that was if someone was too poor to buy dinner, but wanted to come, they could come have a drink at dinner. Or they could have skipped dinner all together, but come out dancing after. I feel like there is no option for me to participate in any of this without forking over a ton of cash. $75 would be one heck of a date night for H and I. Let me reiterate that I don't mind at all bringing food and wine, and paying my own way for things that I could opt out of. She just made the masseuse and limo fee sound mandatory for participation. "Please let me know if you're coming by sending a check for $75 to (insert address) by August 1." I also don't see if we're providing all the food and drink how a 2 hour limo rental and a masseuse giving super short massages is going to cost $750.<strong> And I'm concerned about what happens with two or three girls opt out. Am I going to be asked for more money? </strong>I don't know anyone that will be at the bachelorette party besides the bride. I'd feel super awkward emailing her MOH and asking not to pay. I guess I just need to decide whether to just decline, or to suck it up and fork over the cash.
Posted by jelenybeany[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This. I'm assuming that the $75 came from her adding up all of the costs and dividing by the number of guests minus the bride, so what happens if even one guest can't come/chooses not to? I recently was in a WP and planned the B party with the other BMs. We totally had people RSVP "yes" and so I paid for the limo and three people just did not show up, so suddenly we had a much larger per person price. The BMs took care of it, but what if we couldn't have? And she didn't seem to make the initial $75 much of a choice, so I can't imagine it would be a pleasant situation if she suddenly "needed" more from each girl. </div><div>
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