Hi all! I am in desperate need of help/advice.
I am Caucasian and my Fiancé is Mexican. We decided that we were not going to have mariachis at our wedding awhile ago. We got a DJ and compromised that all types of music would be played.
Now that the wedding is a little over a month away, his family is now speaking up in terms of our plans and how we are going to have things. When we tell them what we are going to do...you can tell that it isn't "Mexican" enough. We have told them that we are not having the wedding be either white or Mexican, rather it will be Danielle and Sergio.
Fast forward to the topic of mariachis. Everytime we see family they bring up the fact that we are not going to have mariachis. They tell me it's in the blood and represents the culture, etc etc etc. Obviously, I know what they represent...hello!! My fiancé and I talk and share our feelings!!
Needless to say, it has become both overwhelming and heartbreaking for both of us. Yes, he wants them, but I do not like them. Also, it is out of our budget and we've already spent the money on the DJ.
I am second guessing what we decided. I really do not like them (not to offend anyone that does) and they are completely out of my budget. He tells me that everything is fine and yes, he wants them, but no, he doesn't need them.
Should I try to surprise him? If I did, I would want them to play at the ceremony site as the guests are arriving. That way, he can experience them, but I won't be there--no harm, no fail. I'd only need them for half an hour.
What are your opinions? How would I even begin to go about trying to hire some??
Re: Mariachi help!!
My FI's family (cousins & uncles) play in a mariachi band, so it's tradition in their family to have them play at all major events (weddings, christenings, even when FI comes home for a visit). They don't dress up, they just dress how they normally do, but they play during dinner and stuff.
For our wedding, I think we'll do as you suggested and have them play as guests arrive at the church, and then also as we're departing the ceremony, then again during the cocktail hour at the reception site (if they're comfortable with all that).
Could you ask your FI if he knows of any family or close friends who play? Even if it's just two guitarists, it'd be better than nothing, and they could play as a wedding gift to you and FI or something...?
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Plus, wedding mariachis are different from the ones you see in restaurants. They don't go around to the tables bugging people.
I think your fiance's family would be very touched if you honor their culture with the mariachis. And your then-husband will LOVE it.
There's a short video of our wedding in my bio - the mariachis come in around the end. See how happy my husband was? Good luck
That said, I can totally understand where they are coming from. I'm doing mariachis at my wedding b/c it was important to me to have some aspects of my own culture represented. My FI is not Mexican and was kind of annoyed that I wanted this. But the mariachis are only playing during cocktail hour - that was our compromise. They will play some romantic songs, then we will move onto other types of music. If your ILs keep pressing the issue, one option is to split the cost of having them perform for just one hour. Win/win for everybody.
If you do decide to do mariachis, I doubt you will regret it. They are almost always a crowd pleaser.
RSVP Date: May 14, Wedding: June 18
You can go online and google mariachis in your local area. Also, if there's mexican restaurants or taquerias in your area, they usually have business cards at the front or they can recommend their most popular mariachis. Also, wedding venues also have Quinceaneras so they should give you recommendation too. I've never heard of 30 min mariachis, they usually book for 1 hour, depending where you live and how many you get (the best would be 8-13 of them), in Houston, the usual whole mariachi band is $700/hour.
You can ask his family for group suggestions, if they can keep it a secret. But also let them know what you're willing to pay.
Fi does not like mariachis and we are not having them, but after reading this post I'll see if I can convince him to have them after the ceremony.
Bio u.d. 9/25
I totally feel you. I have gone thru the same thing. We are doing a picnic wedding b/c we would picnic every week we were dating. I have had moments where my family said it was too Mexican wile his says its not Mexican enough.
My Fiance said the same thing he wanted them but didnt need them. So we are having them at the rehersal dinner! This will be the 1st time our families meet and will be a fun way of embracing his culture.
At the wedding we r incorporating the arras and lasso and we are serving horchata along side the lemonaide.
dont stress. i know its hard. try to take in all the good that both cultures have to offer. remember a good compromise doesnt come out of fighting for what you want but from giving as much as u can without giving up who you are.