Latino Weddings

Mariachi help!!

Hi all!  I am in desperate need of help/advice.

I am Caucasian and my Fiancé is Mexican.  We decided that we were not going to have mariachis at our wedding awhile ago.  We got a DJ and compromised that all types of music would be played.

Now that the wedding is a little over a month away, his family is now speaking up in terms of our plans and how we are going to have things.  When we tell them what we are going to do...you can tell that it isn't "Mexican" enough.  We have told them that we are not having the wedding be either white or Mexican, rather it will be Danielle and Sergio.

Fast forward to the topic of mariachis.  Everytime we see family they bring up the fact that we are not going to have mariachis.  They tell me it's in the blood and represents the culture, etc etc etc.  Obviously, I know what they represent...hello!!  My fiancé and I talk and share our feelings!! 

Needless to say, it has become both overwhelming and heartbreaking for both of us.  Yes, he wants them, but I do not like them.  Also, it is out of our budget and we've already spent the money on the DJ. 

I am second guessing what we decided.  I really do not like them (not to offend anyone that does) and they are completely out of my budget.  He tells me that everything is fine and yes, he wants them, but no, he doesn't need them. 

Should I try to surprise him?  If I did, I would want them to play at the ceremony site as the guests are arriving.  That way, he can experience them, but I won't be there--no harm, no fail.  I'd only need them for half an hour. 

What are your opinions?  How would I even begin to go about trying to hire some??

Re: Mariachi help!!

  • jenandcrisjenandcris
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I thought mariachis were tacky, but I recently saw a group play at a friend's wedding and they're were really cool! They only played during the cocktail hour, too. So it wasn't too in your face. My FI and I are looking to kinda do the same thing. (o:
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  • edited December 2011

    My FI's family (cousins & uncles) play in a mariachi band, so it's tradition in their family to have them play at all major events (weddings, christenings, even when FI comes home for a visit). They don't dress up, they just dress how they normally do, but they play during dinner and stuff.


    For our wedding, I think we'll do as you suggested and have them play as guests arrive at the church, and then also as we're departing the ceremony, then again during the cocktail hour at the reception site (if they're comfortable with all that).


    Could you ask your FI if he knows of any family or close friends who play? Even if it's just two guitarists, it'd be better than nothing, and they could play as a wedding gift to you and FI or something...?

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  • ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    Check out my bio and see if you change your mind about the mariachis ;)  We had them play at the very end of the night and they were a huge hit.  The Mexicans were thrilled, and the Americans loved them too... 

    Plus, wedding mariachis are different from the ones you see in restaurants.  They don't go around to the tables bugging people.

    I think your fiance's family would be very touched if you honor their culture with the mariachis.  And your then-husband will LOVE it. 

    There's a short video of our wedding in my bio - the mariachis come in around the end.  See how happy my husband was?  Good luck ;)
  • edited December 2011
    If you don't have the money for it in your budget then you don't have the money for it.  If FI's family is insisting on having mariachis they should be willing to pony up the cash. 

    That said, I can totally understand where they are coming from.  I'm doing mariachis at my wedding b/c it was important to me to have some aspects of my own culture represented.  My FI is not Mexican and was kind of annoyed that I wanted this.  But the mariachis are only playing during cocktail hour - that was our compromise.  They will play some romantic songs, then we will move onto other types of music.  If your ILs keep pressing the issue, one option is to split the cost of having them perform for just one hour.  Win/win for everybody.

    If you do decide to do mariachis, I doubt you will regret it.  They are almost always a crowd pleaser. 
  • rosierealrosiereal
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Well we are having them to for an hour during dinner, I think you should try to make it in your budget because it is apart of his culture and its his day to also u are marry into it so you should start enjoying it as well I'm sure if it was the other way around he wouldn't  have any problem you having them. anything to make you happy and that's apart of your culture.
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  • loop0406loop0406
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    You sound bratty, mariachis play in 1 hour increments, why can't you suck it up?  This is the man you will hopefully spend your entire life with so if he likes mariachis, his family is asking about them, it's PROPER and courteous for you to comply.
    You can go online and google mariachis in your local area. Also, if there's mexican restaurants or taquerias in your area, they usually have business cards at the front or they can recommend their most popular mariachis. Also, wedding venues also have Quinceaneras so they should give you recommendation too. I've never heard of 30 min mariachis, they usually book for 1 hour, depending where you live and how many you get (the best would be 8-13 of them), in Houston, the usual whole mariachi band is $700/hour.
  • Ken&CassKen&Cass
    500 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I don't know.. my fiance and I had the same arguement. I wanted them, he did not. It really depends on the group, I found some really great ones to do my wedding and we are having them play after the ceremony during pictures. Gigmaster's is where I found mine, and they had sample music on the site so I could hear what they would sound like before hand. We are only doing an hour. If you go with it I recommend only doing it for a short period of time, because it can become a bit much for some people after the 4th or 5th song especially if they don't like them in the first place. I'm paying $320 for one hour, that includes the website booking fee and a $100 travel cost.
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  • edited December 2011
    I think your idea (if you do have them) before the ceremony is good. Its a good compromise. But if its not in the budget then there's really not much you can do. I personally think it would be really sweet to surprise him.

    You can ask his family for group suggestions, if they can keep it a secret. But also let them know what you're willing to pay.

    Fi does not like mariachis and we are not having them, but after reading this post I'll see if I can convince him to have them after the ceremony.
  • edited December 2011
    If you really don't like mariachis, you can have the DJ play a song or two that are mariachi standards (El Rey, Cielito Lindo, etc.).

    I'm having them and I can't wait!!!
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  • edited December 2011
    My FI really wanted to have Mariachis because he thought it would be a great way to tie in my culture (I'm Mexican, he's not). But, I knew the cost and told him we couldn't afford it. What we are doing however, is having our DJ play the cocktail hour in just mariachi/latin ballads. This way, my family and guests will love it and his will learn about my culture even if just a little.
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  • edited December 2011
     "I am Caucasian and my Fiancé is Mexican.  We decided that we were not going to have mariachis at our wedding awhile ago.  ... When we tell them what we are going to do...you can tell that it isn't "Mexican" enough.  We have told them that we are not having the wedding be either white or Mexican, rather it will be Danielle and Sergio."

    I totally feel you.  I have gone thru the same thing.  We are doing a picnic wedding b/c we would picnic every week we were dating.  I have had moments where my family said it was too Mexican wile his says its not Mexican enough. 

    My Fiance said the same thing he wanted them but didnt need them.  So we are having them at the rehersal dinner!  This will be the 1st time our families meet and will be a fun way of embracing his culture. 

    At the wedding we r incorporating the arras and lasso and we are serving horchata along side the lemonaide.

    dont stress.  i know its hard.  try to take in all the good that both cultures have to offer.  remember a good compromise doesnt come out of fighting for what you want but from giving as much as u can without giving up who you are.
  • edited December 2011
    We are having them because they are a part of our culture that we are proud of.  If you like them or not that is up to you but marriage is a compromise.  How many of the wedding planning and decisons have you made?  And him?  It would be a nice gesture to him to do this for him.
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