A little background: I'm deaf, grew up oral/speaking and learned ASL (American Sign Language) later on. I now use a mix of both languages to communicate - speaking with my family members/friends from growing up, sign at work/with most of my friends here in DC. FI is hearing but signs fluently. We communicate primarily though ASL at home.
Our officiant is the priest from Gallaudet University. He's hearing but also signs fluently. He is performing our ceremony in ASL and we will have interpreters voicing what he is signing. FI and I are also planning to sign out vows with interpreters voicing for us. My mom recently realized this (we told her before, but she apparently misunderstood something) and seemed a little upset. She kept saying that she was a little disappointed that she won't get to hear the priests own voice, or mine/FI's own voices.
We explained everything to her, and she says she feels better about it now, though I so suspect that she's still a little put off. But it also ot me thinking... 90% of the invited guests don't know ASL, including my entire family, FI's entire family, all the people I knew growing up, etc. I'm starting to worry that people will be confused when they see the officiant moving his hands and hearing someone else's voice. Aside from my deaf friends and friends who are interpreters, nobody really understands this part of my life and they've always just known me to speak to them. I'm also worried that my mom has stronger feelings about it than she's letting on and will feel somehow left out or hurt that she couldn't hear me say my vows with my own voice.
Speaking and signing at the same time has been discussed, but I really would prefer not to.. ASL and English have very different grammar structures, and putting them together is kind of like trying to speak Spanish with English word order. Usually when people try to do this, both languages end up sounding/looking very awkward.
I know I'm over anazlyzing things. I know that everything will work out and we'll be married at the end of it. But I can't stop worrying about how most of the guests might react to this. We just sent out invitations to 248 people, and everything is just now hitting me.
Please be honest. How would you feel as a guest who doesn't know ASL and never knew the bride/groom to communicate this way? Confused? Cheated somehow? Fascinated?
