Short Engagements

Schroeder246 · April 2010

The Baby Bump thread got me thinking . . .
FI and I are having a relatively short engagement (7 mos), just because . . . we don't want a long engagement. When we told people we set the date for October, nearly every single person responded with "THIS October?!?!"
To make things hilariously worse, I have been getting migranes and trying to cut out alcohol since it may be a trigger. I kept refusing wine at FI's family's Easter dinner yesterday and kept getting MAJOR side-eyes. Awesome.
So the question: How did everyone here determine the length of their engagement? For those of you that have relatively short (or long) engagements, have people made comments to you?

mocha beans · April 2010

We needed time to save money to pay for the whole shindig. That was our only determining factor. If I woulda had a money tree out back, we would have done a shorter engagement, definately less than a year. Instead of 2.5.

I think people think we're not serious about getting married, and that's why we're dragging our feet.

ashmy211 · April 2010

We were engaged in September and we are marrying this May... so an 8 month long engagement. I always knew I wanted a spring wedding and there weren't many dates that didn't interfere with friends' weddings or family conflicts, plus - we didn't want to wait almost 2 years. People did respond "wow, that's soon!" but I haven't gotten any side-eyes or pregnancy questions!

ThePinkSuperhero · April 2010

We got engaged January 2009, and wanted to get married after Easter because the church is so beautiful, and April 2009 was waaaaay too soon, so April 2010 it was. That felt right to me- I didn't want to feel rushed into the wedding or the marriage. Having 16 months was what I needed to prepare myself for being a married lady.

whitneykaye87 · April 2010

Ours was about a year because I have a nice break from school this summer and I didn't want to worry about getting married during my Christmas or spring break. If I had a normal job and could take vacation whenever, our engagement would probably have been closer to 6-8 months long.

Honestly, we've gotten comments both ways. Some people think a year is way too long, while others think it's too short since I've got school too. To each his own, but FWIW I was always a fan of shorter engagements vs. long. I guess I'm just a little impatient.

Nebb · April 2010

I wanted to get married in the summer, so we could either get married in 7 months or a year and 7 months which I wasnt willing to do, so we had a 7 month engagement. I am impatient and didnt want to have a long engagement so we didnt. No one really said anything, as far as I can remember but ive been married almost 2 years now and my memory sucks. So who knows.

ThePinkSuperhero · April 2010

Oh yes, and money! We needed to save money! Particularly after being unemployed for much of 2009. It worked out for the best.

opalsky007 · April 2010

We were engaged for 14 months, simply because the date we had in mind was 14 months from when he proposed. We decided on a date, not on a length of time.

I actually got crap from people for having "too long" of an engagement, even though I think a year is about average.

nhelene · April 2010

I decided I wanted a fall wedding, and it was either this fall (11 month engagement) or next fall (23 months). FI and I have been together a long time so I didn't want to wait two years.

LP11509 · April 2010

We got engaged in January 09 and decided we wanted to wait until after FI finishes his AuD before we get married. He will finish this July (though he gets to walk in May...his program has weird timing) and we're getting married in August.

kate51485 · April 2010

Ours will be 2.5 by the end, and it is such because we wanted to wait until FI finished school in another state. I didn't want to be married long distance.

katanne9 · April 2010

We got engaged before Christmas and are getting married in August. No side eyes yet, but our engagement was a long time coming for a lot of people. We were always planning for a short engagement, but our dream venue had a cancellation, so we nabbed it.

kikibaby · April 2010

We originally set a date for 1 year after we got engaged, then I moved it up by 5 months. I just told everyone it was because we were old and we might die before next October.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2010

I just really, really wanted an October wedding. So our engagement will be 13 months. My mom said, "Wow! A year isn't that long to plan!" I'm finding it is absolutely fine. Frankly, we got engaged when we did because it would give us enough time to plan a fall wedding for this year.

laurenclaire1386 · April 2010

We got engaged in October of '09 and thought we wanted about a year long engagement. That felt like a good length of time for an engagement to us. Then we went through the LSU football schedule and picked the most boring game of the year so no one would mind missing it for our wedding. It worked out that the worst game of the year was on November 13, 2010. So our engagement will be just over a year. In retrospect, I wish we'd had a shorter engagement just because I'm tired of waiting to get married.

Koopa17 · April 2010

We got engaged in May of 09, and knew we wanted either a fall or spring wedding, summer is too hot in texas and winter is too cold for my taste. Fall was too early, so spring of 10 was perfect. My bro and SIL announced she was pregnant, due Apr 1st so we set it for a month prior so they could both be in the wedding with hopefully no issues. It turned out perfect, and she delivered exactly 3 weeks after the wedding.

mwhitson14 · April 2010

Like opal, we picked a date, not really a length. DH knew I wanted to get married a couple weeks after my college graduation, so we had tentatively decided on May 16, 2009, so he proposed on May 16, 2008

It was sweet.

But then life happens and it turned into a 22 month engagement, FAR to freaking long!

angiebear11 · April 2010

By the time we get married, our engagement will be a little over 2.5 years long. FI had our particular date in mind, so it really wasn't about the length of the engagement, but the date he/we wanted. At first I thought it was a really stupid reason to wait, and I'm impatient... but now I'm glad we waited/are waiting. We're having a much bigger wedding then originally planned which leaves us more time to save money.

mrsamyjones · April 2010

We got engaged in January of 09 and wanted a June wedding but 5 months wasn't really going to work because FI had just moved out of state temporarily for a job and I was still in school. So we're waiting til June 2010. Honestly I wish we would have just got it done in June 09 because it's been a heck of a wait and I know we would have spent a lot less money if we had just done it a year ago. I am so sick of wedding planning and all I want to do is be married have our new house and enjoy life without worrying about invitation etiquette and music selection.

andyandhillary · April 2010

Our engagement will have been for about 1.5 years. We wanted to wait until we both graduated. We got engaged Nov. of my senior year of college (his junior) so we pretty much had to wait until June. We got engaged so early because I needed a lot of time to plan/find deals.

tracy_k · April 2010

My husband proposed on 2/19/2009, and while I would have LOVED a November 2009 wedding, a couple of things got in the way of that.

First, both my husband and his best man work in the wedding industry, and they both had weddings booked in November, plus my husband had weddings booked in December which would have made going on a honeymoon a bit of a challenge. Also, his best man was expecting his second child in mid-November, which made it tough to schedule anything.

Since Jan-March is a relatively slow time in the wedding business, February started looking like our best option to have the wedding and then go on our honeymoon. I didn't want to wait much more than a year, and Feb. seemed a better option, weather-wise, so we decided on Feb. 27, 2010.

It worked out really well for us and I didn't hear any commentary from the peanut gallery one way or the other, except for "You're getting married in FEBRUARY???? UGH!" But we lucked out with the weather... we had back-to-back blizzards on Feb. 6 & Feb. 10, but the weather for our wedding was good (and the snow was still on the gorund, which looks pretty in the pictures!).

btrflykate1230 · April 2010

We got engaged December 2009 and will be married in October 2010. I've always wanted a fall wedding (since New England is beautiful in the fall) so it was this October or next. We got some excellent deals for planning a "short" engagement (signed most of our contracts in February) so we decided 2010 it was!

EmmaBride2B · April 2010

We wanted to do it during the summer before our last semester so we had time off, and so we didn't run into having to figure out time off from full time jobs after we graduated. This meant a 7 month engagement once we figured out when our venues were available.

Turned out to be a good choice, we ended up moving 600 miles away two months after we graduated - that would have been a lot of big life events (graduation, getting married, moving) all in a few months.

Even if we didn't have that to think about we still would have had a shorter engagement. It was plenty of time.

baystateapple · April 2010

We're having a sixteen-month engagement, with seven months left. We chose the date because it had special meaning to us, and because FI's older brother chose September as his wedding date. We didn't want to get married before them, because we felt that would be kind of upsetting to them. So we went with November. Sometimes I wish we had a shorter engagement, but we really do need the time to get the money together (we're paying for the majority of it ourselves). So it's been worth it, really.

Whippet8 · April 2010

we were engaged april of 2009, and just got married this past january...so we had a 9 month engagement. We picked it because I didnt want to do it in the summer, this coming fall was too long of a wait...then spring was out of the question because my brother is studying in Italy...so we decided on January. People did make comments about it being a short engagement, but it worked for us!

temerityjane · April 2010

If we weren't determined to pay for the whole thing in cash, no credit, then we definitely would have been engaged for a much shorter amount of time. Our first date set was actually in spring 2011, but my mother pushed for 2010. All told, it is about a year and 2 months engagement. Shorter probably would have been way better, it would have forced me to plan something.

Schroeder246 · April 2010

MsMeryMac: You and I are both marrying Olivers on 10.10.10! And I have to ask, is your last name Mac_____? My married name will be

ohwhynot · April 2010

We got engaged last Christmas (I know, I know. Shut up.) and will be married this July. Our jobs are very busy every other summer, and this is an "off" summer so it makes sense to get married now. Plus, we didn't want to wait. If it were up to me, we'd have an even shorter engagement, but again work got in the way.

squirrly · April 2010

I wanted warm weather. So, getting engaged at the end of June and married in October seemed a bit tight but doable. Except that a bunch of FI's friends were to be deployed in October, so we went for late April/early May, bounced around a few dates looking for the best prices, and landed on May 8, which was a date that, at the time, had everyone in the US. Then two emergency deployments came up, so we still have a few people who won't make it, but it's less than the October date would have been.

OP - POAS and leave the negative result where it can be seen? I dunno. People are obnoxious sometimes.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_short-engagements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ded45c05-a68b-4427-acef-0cb0a8d12950Post:e75fba46-067f-49ac-baa4-1c03a374e960">Re: Short Engagements</a>:
[QUOTE]MsMeryMac: You and I are both marrying Olivers on 10.10.10! <strong>And I have to ask, is your last name Mac_____? </strong> My married name will be :)
Posted by Schroeder246[/QUOTE]

Yes it is! I'm keeping it too, so I'll be Mac___ indefinitely. ;-) That's really funny. Oliver isn't a terribly common name anymore. FMIL loves musicals and my FI was named for the musical/movie Oliver!, based on the book Oliver Twist. (He was born in '74, which I think was about 5 years after the movie came out.) Actually, the movie was on TCM a few weeks ago and I told my FI, "Baby, your movie is on! I recorded it for you!"

strawberrycrz · April 2010

We got engaged Dec. 08, and will be getting married Nov 10. I wanted a 2 year engagement because it just feels right to me. My parents had a long engagement so it was kinda stuck in my head to have one. Plus we wanted to save money and buy a house before we got married (which we did about 4 months ago). Also, you're only engaged "once" therefore I didn't want to rush through this stage in my life.

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