Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Not Engaged Yet
The waiting is killing me
We shopped, I chose the ring, he chose the diamond, the ring was ordered and has come in! It is just sitting at the jewelry store until he proposes. I know he is planning and scheming & knows how and when he's going to do it but the waiting is driving me CRAZY! I wish he'd just hurry up already. It's killing me to not be able to tell friends that it's coming or what we're doing for our wedding (our date and location is all set). Is anyone else in this situation and as antsy as I am? LOL
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The waiting is killing me
[QUOTE]We shopped, I chose the ring, he chose the diamond, the ring was ordered and has come in! It is just sitting at the jewelry store until he proposes. I know he is planning and scheming & knows how and when he's going to do it but the waiting is driving me CRAZY! I wish he'd just hurry up already. It's killing me to not be able to tell friends that it's coming or what we're doing for our wedding <strong>(our date and location is all set)</strong>. Is anyone else in this situation and as antsy as I am? LOL
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]
<div>
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/6/91a0f1ca-2396-478b-a66f-317ddb03482e.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '91a0f1ca-2396-478b-a66f-317ddb03482e', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/6/91a0f1ca-2396-478b-a66f-317ddb03482e.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
</div>
[QUOTE]We shopped, I chose the ring, he chose the diamond, the ring was ordered and has come in! It is just sitting at the jewelry store until he proposes. I know he is planning and scheming & knows how and when he's going to do it but the waiting is driving me CRAZY! I wish he'd just hurry up already. It's killing me to not be able to tell friends that it's coming or what we're doing for our wedding (our date and location is all set). Is anyone else in this situation and as antsy as I am? LOL
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]
Are you engaged?
Married Bio
[QUOTE]If you have a date and location, sounds like you are already engaged. Don't need a ring to be engaged.
Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]
They don't need a ring, but I'm pretty sure we've all talked about how they need a mutual agreement that they are indeed engaged. <div>
</div><div>OP, planning a wedding without being engaged is just dumb.</div>
Married Bio
No, but seriously - just try to keep your mind off of the ring. If you know he already has it (purchased) and you two are already planning your wedding...then it's really just a formality. Ease up a bit and you will enjoy the process even more.
[QUOTE]We shopped, I chose the ring, he chose the diamond, the ring was ordered and has come in! It is just sitting at the jewelry store until he proposes. I know he is planning and scheming & knows how and when he's going to do it but the waiting is driving me CRAZY! I wish he'd just hurry up already. It's killing me to not be able to tell friends that it's coming or what we're doing for our wedding (our date and location is all set). Is anyone else in this situation and as antsy as I am? LOL
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]
I'm guessing you don't consider yourselves engaged seeing as how you haven't told any of your family about the plans. Therefore, you must feel that the proposal is necessary in order to be engaged. But why are you so antsy if you're already planning? This is all so backwards.
[QUOTE]We shopped, I chose the ring, he chose the diamond, the ring was ordered and has come in! It is just sitting at the jewelry store <strong>until he proposes. I know he is planning and scheming & knows how and when he's going to do it but the waiting is driving me CRAZY!</strong> I wish he'd just hurry up already. It's killing me to not be able to tell friends that it's coming or what we're doing for our wedding (our date and location is all set). Is anyone else in this situation and as antsy as I am? LOL
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]
It doesn't sound like she considers herself engaged yet. In which case, I have to wonder why she has a wedding ticker in her signature.
Like PP said, just try not to think about it. Find other things to distract you and enjoy the last few days/weeks/months you have before things really get crazy!
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_aw-picked-up-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:54b5bc3c-58a2-42e7-b8ea-cb07e53a98faPost:463a7a71-f0b2-47dc-8682-ddc33da06332">AW: Picked up my dress!</a>:
[QUOTE]And got to try it on with my hair flower and shoes! I am sooooo excited and soooooooo sad I have to wait 7 more months to wear it! LOL I have to brag about just how lucky I am though.......when I initially tried on the dress it fit perfect except for being too long and maybe needing some bra cups for extra support. Well, I ended up finding the cutest shoes at DSW and cancelled the flat sandals I had ordered. Anyway, in trying it on with the new shoes the length is perfect! The only alterations I'm going to need should be bra cups and the bustle! Wooooooohooooooo
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Apparently, you've done more planning than just the date and location: In Response to AW: Picked up my dress! :
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]
In light of this information all I have to say is there is no reason for the OP to be posting here. I think this classic lolcat says it best:
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/3/7/c37801b1-2867-447e-a7af-e5bb07845957.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'c37801b1-2867-447e-a7af-e5bb07845957', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/3/7/c37801b1-2867-447e-a7af-e5bb07845957.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
Married Bio
[QUOTE]Seriously? You have everything BOUGHT and PAID for, not just planned and he STILL has not proposed? Someone is afraid of commitment...
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]
You're right. I feel like this is a serious red flag for their relationship. . .
Married Bio
[QUOTE]Apparently, you've done more planning than just the date and location: In Response to AW: Picked up my dress! :
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]
<div>is this real life?</div><div>
</div><div>I always wonder why women (trolls) come here to say they are not engaged when they clearly are? With a wedding ticker and the fact you have EVERYTHING picked out and have a date it sounds like you're engaged. </div>
My completed crafts pinboard! | Twitter! | My blog (updated 7/10)!
[QUOTE]Seriously? You have everything BOUGHT and PAID for, not just planned and he STILL has not proposed? Someone is afraid of commitment...
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]
<div>I would say that someone is afraid of being <em>dragged</em> against his will into commitment.</div><div>If she slowed her roll he might have popped the question...</div>
Married Bio
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The waiting is killing me : is this real life? I always wonder why women (trolls) come here to say they are not engaged when they clearly are? <strong>With a wedding ticker and the fact you have EVERYTHING picked out and have a date it sounds like you're engaged.
</strong>Posted by thelamarrs[/QUOTE]
I really, really dislike this rationale. From the post, it sounds like the OP does NOT consider herself engaged. Meaning, her and her SO have not agreed on it. They may have agreed that they would like to get married, but it seems as though her SO would like to propose before considering them engaged.
Saying that because someone has a ticker and a dress, she's engaged just bothers me. So I could pull out a random date, put up a ticker, and buy some things and you would consider me to be engaged? No. I would be BSC and planning before engagement.
I think that if someone is expecting a proposal of marriage, she can't yet consider herself to be engaged.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The waiting is killing me : I really, really dislike this rationale. From the post, it sounds like the OP does NOT consider herself engaged. Meaning, her and her SO have not agreed that on it. They may have agreed that they would like to get married, but it seems as though her SO would like to propose before considering them engaged. Saying that because someone has a ticker and a dress, she's engaged just bothers me. So I could pull out a random date, put up a ticker, and buy some things and you would consider me to be engaged? No. I would be BSC and planning before engagement. I think that if someone is expecting a proposal of marriage, she can't yet consider herself to be engaged.
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]
<div>Oh, yes.</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The waiting is killing me : I really, really dislike this rationale. From the post, it sounds like the OP does NOT consider herself engaged. Meaning, her and her SO have not agreed that on it. They may have agreed that they would like to get married, but it seems as though her SO would like to propose before considering them engaged. Saying that because someone has a ticker and a dress, she's engaged just bothers me. So I could pull out a random date, put up a ticker, and buy some things and you would consider me to be engaged? No. <strong> I would be BSC and planning before engagement. I think that if someone is expecting a proposal of marriage, she can't yet consider herself to be engaged</strong>.
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]
Correct me if I am wrong, but I took her post to mean the bolded part exactly. It sounded more to me like lamarrs was being facetious and saying, "Well if you have everything planned, you MUST be engaged, because only engaged people should plan weddings!" Kinda like we do when we are being sarcastic with the OP, ya know? <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
Or I could be completely off base, wouldn't be the first time.
Some people (like family) might not consider them engaged until there is a ring, but this sounds more like the OP doesn't think she's engaged until she has a ring... but she's already buying wedding stuff and planning big time.
I think we need an in-depth BSC guide if there isn't one yet!
Also.... Liv... we need the flowchart!
Second, DUUUUUUUUUUDE, seriously?? I'm thinking BF is thinking you are a little more than a little BSC. You are rushing something that is not meant to be rushed. You ain't engaged if he ain't on the same page. Simple.
Slow your roll and chill the eff out, lady.
If I pulled any of that kind of stuff without BF proposing...he'd probably call the whole thing off! It's a big step, and he should be allowed to have time to adjust to the changes that are pending....
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The waiting is killing me : Correct me if I am wrong, but I took her post to mean the bolded part exactly. It sounded more to me like lamarrs was being facetious and saying, "Well if you have everything planned, you MUST be engaged, because only engaged people should plan weddings!" Kinda like we do when we are being sarcastic with the OP, ya know? Or I could be completely off base, wouldn't be the first time.
Posted by csousa1[/QUOTE]
I agree with you csousa. I didn't take it that way.
I agree that an engagement is a mutual agreement to get married and begin planning, but if you're still WAITING for a proposal, how can you consider yourself engaged? I understand the situation if he's going to be presenting a ring to you at some point, but then it's just a piece of jewelry he's giving you. You have already agreed to get married - why would he ask you again??
Sea, No, I wouldn't buy baby clothes before getting pregnant, kind of like I wouldn't plan a flippin wedding before getting engaged!
I just think there's a difference between being BSC and engaged w/o a ring. Like it can feel complicated for the couple when family and friends are all "You're engaged, yay! Wait, no ring? IT'S NOT VALID! OMGWTFBBQ!!!1!"
OP is BSC though, since it sounds like no one considers them to be engaged, including her and her BF.
EDIT: Added clarification... and methnks if couple thinks they are engaged (BOTH members of the couple) then they are indeed engaged. If they thnk they are not engaged and still need a proposal... then they are BSC for pre-planning.
I thought the "not yet engaged" board would be the place to talk about my excitement. I haven't received this kind of judgement on any of the other boards and HAVE mentioned not having the ring yet.
[QUOTE]If you have a date and location, sounds like you are already engaged. Don't need a ring to be engaged.
Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]
If the definition of "engaged" means "planning the wedding" then I guess by some standards I am.
[QUOTE]I do NOT consider myself "officially engaged" until I have the ring. Although you could probably say we are unofficially engaged considering he has bought the ring and is helping to plan. He's actually VERY involved in the wedding plans and contributing financially. I am in no way planning behind his back. LOL I thought the "not yet engaged" board would be the place to talk about my excitement. I haven't received this kind of judgement on any of the other boards and HAVE mentioned not having the ring yet.
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]
Have you mentioned on other boards that you don't consider yourself engaged? <div>
</div><div>You can do whatever the hell you want to. None of us can stop you. But we're not going to let this slide and let other girls think it is an okay behavior. So. . . there you have it. I will reference the cat picture I posted above - gtfo and take your fail with you.</div>
Married Bio
[QUOTE]I do NOT consider myself "officially engaged" until I have the ring. Although you could probably say we are <strong>unofficially engaged</strong> considering he has bought the ring and is helping to plan. He's actually VERY involved in the wedding plans and contributing financially. I am in no way planning behind his back. LOL I thought the "not yet engaged" board would be the place to talk about my excitement. I haven't received this kind of judgement on any of the other boards and HAVE mentioned not having the ring yet.
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/3/a4684ba7-a969-4864-93a3-df0d000572f6.large.png" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'a4684ba7-a969-4864-93a3-df0d000572f6', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/3/a4684ba7-a969-4864-93a3-df0d000572f6.medium.png" alt="" /></a>
Married! May 27th, 2012
Every relationship is different and everyone has different beliefs. I have no issue with anyone having a different belief than me if it's communicated in a friendly manner. But for people to make assumptions about my boyfriend "not being ready" and me planning behind his back is completely unnecessary.
Anyway, I'm not going to be concerned with what a bunch of strangers on a message board think of my relationship with someone I have been with for 3.5 years and known for even longer.