MOH - candlelighters dress lengths

Re: MOH - candlelighters dress lengths

• ootmother2 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Ignore these mean people and remember it's YOUR DAY,
  
  Just be sure to feel sorry for their husbands!!

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• bablingbrooke member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-candlelighters-dress-lengths?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d4f01fae-ae8d-4b3f-b15d-ab330a0a01dbPost:b03ef071-b7c4-4302-9afa-698a153c6066">Re: MOH - candlelighters dress lengths</a>:
  [QUOTE]Ignore these mean people and remember it's YOUR DAY, Just be sure to feel sorry for their husbands!!
  Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]
  OOT--no!  No speaky sarcasm.

  Courtesy of megk8oz
  
  "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
  
  A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  

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• ootmother2 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  sorry, it was just too hard to resist.

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• AutumnFair member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-candlelighters-dress-lengths?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d4f01fae-ae8d-4b3f-b15d-ab330a0a01dbPost:1760d0ca-5c2e-4f1a-8e37-74df9c3d2e8e">Re: MOH - candlelighters dress lengths</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH - candlelighters dress lengths : The words you put into bold represent what I "heard" from a number of the posts which is <strong>candlelighters are not part of the WP - period.</strong>  No reason was given why they could not be a part.  And instead of my comment of "it's MY wedding" was taken to mean I controlling everything.  I've been an event planner for years doing dances, fundraisers and international events, so I know better than to think that any one person controls anything. Yes, I was in tears when it became apparent that what I had asked was being mis-understood, but then as this dialouge as continued it did become amusing as it is obvious that all of us, myself included have let it go to far. Suffice it to say the event where I marry the love of my life will be filled with joy and happiness, and we will be surrounded by people who love us and encourage us. <em> I just won't ask for opinions from people on this board again</em>. Goodnight and good luck.
  Posted by kittenly[/QUOTE]
  
  Alrighty, so the rule that you think is bad is that candlelighters are not in the WP. It's not a rule, it's just a fact. The WP is Bride/Groom, BMs/GMs, FG/RB. It is what it is, I'm sorry you feel that they should be but seriously it isn't a big deal that they aren't. They still are apart of the wedding, you can still get as many pictures as you want with them, they still get the honor of being there.
  
   Why won't you come back? Is it because you don't like some challenging your views? If so, have fun with the rest of your planning, hopefully you don't make a mistake when it comes to hurting someone's feelings because it didn't fit your wedding vision.

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• kittenly

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  For reminding me what my wedding is all about - marrying my best friend.  That is the only detail that is important.

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• bablingbrooke member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I don't get why people get bent out of shape about what they read here then think nothing of trashing the board to another board.  IMHO, it's worse.  Although OP is probably best served by her local--seems to require constant validation.

  Courtesy of megk8oz
  
  "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
  
  A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  

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• lisab613 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  i think short dresses would look fine. different lengths shouldn't be a big deal.

  <br

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• RebeccaB88 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  FWIW, I'm 40 and have never heard that the candlelighters aren't part of the wedding party. Maybe it's a regional thing, or just something done in my family. That's just what I've grown up understanding.  Heck, I've BEEN one and was considered part of the wedding party - attended the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, was in photos, etc.  In one wedding I coordinated with the wedding party in attire, and the couple paid for it, and in the other I wore the ceremonial robes provided by the church.  I was also a kid at the time.  I personally don't find a problem with them being included in the WP if that's what the couple wants AND they are willing to foot the bill for that.  I also don't think it's inappropriate for them to not be considered part of the wedding party - meaning I don't think it's required that they are.  I don't even think candlelighters are necessary, if you don't want or need them.  Some churches require that they provide candlelighters for you, so it's usually a young person you don't know, but does it as a service to the church.
  
  That being said, I think you could get away with either length, but would lean towards a shorter dress.  It would depend on what the wearer is most comfortable in. I think you are trying to do the right thing, but we didn't have enough information at the beginning to figure that out, and honestly, I would have pegged you as a very young, naive bride as well.  You're right that it's most important that you get to marry the man you love, but at the same time, you don't want your guests to be whispering about what you've done, saying that you're old enough to know better.

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• bablingbrooke member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I think it's more a matter of religion than region, since I've never seen candle-lighters at any wedding I've ever been to, and have only really been to Catholic or Greek Orthodox ones.  We don't usually do unity candles either (at least not in the ones I've been to), yet to hear TK tell it every single wedding MUST have a unity candle.

  Courtesy of megk8oz
  
  "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
  
  A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  

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• filaw member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  If no one in your family and friends and participating in your wedding has a problem with you picking out the dresses for your candlelighters and including them as part of your wedding party if you want to, then yeah, OP, I agree, it really doesn't matter what a bunch of people on the internet say the "rules" are.  

  
  

  As for the question itself, I like the idea of shorter dresses, and I don't think it will look silly at all.  But I do agree with pp that you really can't go wrong.

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• AutumnFair member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  Not hurting my feelings.

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• BrainsNBeauty member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I actually see nothing wrong with some guidelines for candlelighters' dresses.  Where I'm from, candlelighters are typically called part of the "house party" as sort of an extension of the WP but not the direct WP.  I was a candlelighter this past summer and my guidelines were to incorporate the colors somehow, which if you are part of the presentation, why wouldn't you?  You're still part of the wedding and its presentation.  

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