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Wedding Etiquette Forum
I know this is asked here all the time...
...and I am sure I know the answer, but it is driving me nuts.
A VERY close family friend of mine (I have known him since he was four) got married in November and we have yet to recieve a thank you note. Normally I would just be annoyed and brush it off but it is very unlike him and his wife to do something like this. My parents were at the wedding and they got a thank you note. We gave them cash (we forgot our checkbook to a semi destination wedding, stupid I know) so I am really starting to get nervous it was stolen or something.
The thing is, nothing has changed in our relaitonship and I kind of feel they would act weird if they thought we hadn't given them a present. I am close enough to bring it up to them, but they are also the type to get very offended if I was suggesting they were rude for not sending a thank you note. I would never call them rude, but that's how they would take it. WWYD?
A VERY close family friend of mine (I have known him since he was four) got married in November and we have yet to recieve a thank you note. Normally I would just be annoyed and brush it off but it is very unlike him and his wife to do something like this. My parents were at the wedding and they got a thank you note. We gave them cash (we forgot our checkbook to a semi destination wedding, stupid I know) so I am really starting to get nervous it was stolen or something.
The thing is, nothing has changed in our relaitonship and I kind of feel they would act weird if they thought we hadn't given them a present. I am close enough to bring it up to them, but they are also the type to get very offended if I was suggesting they were rude for not sending a thank you note. I would never call them rude, but that's how they would take it. WWYD?
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Re: I know this is asked here all the time...
I didn't get a TY note from a friend and the check hadn't been cashed yet. I asked her about it.
Like 5 of her cards got misplaced and mine was one. So it was good that I said something to her.
Planning!.....Married!
[QUOTE]I would stay quiet. Or in a joking way as what they spent the cash on. <strong>They have a year to do TY cards</strong> (I think that is way too long) but is this something you want to use to make the friendship awkward? If they didn't get the cash, they aren't allowing that to change anything.
Posted by britne28[/QUOTE]
No! That's not true at all! That is a bastardization of the rule that guests have a year after the wedding to send a gift. Please stop spreading this around - it's just plain wrong.
[QUOTE]I would stay quiet. Or in a joking way as what they spent the cash on. They have a year to do TY cards (I think that is way too long) but is this something you want to use to make the friendship awkward? If they didn't get the cash, they aren't allowing that to change anything.
Posted by britne28[/QUOTE]
You're confused. Guests have a year to send a gift after a wedding. TYs should be sent ASAP after receipt of a gift.
http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
girl you're too rude
[QUOTE]I would stay quiet. Or in a joking way as what they spent the cash on. They have a year to do TY cards (I think that is way too long) but is this something you want to use to make the friendship awkward? If they didn't get the cash, they aren't allowing that to change anything.
Posted by britne28[/QUOTE]
Actually, guests have a year to send gifts to the couple, not for the couple to send out TYs. That should be done ASAP after the wedding.
Also, I think asking how they chose to spend the money is rude, even if done in a joking manner. OP- I would take the advice of the other ladies here in asking directly, but framing it as being concerned that the gift was lost/stolen.
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
my read shelf:
Thanks ladies, I am probably just going to stay quiet and bring it up as at some point when the situation allows. I do want to address it, but I definitely don't want to make it awkward as they certainly have not* made it that way.
RAWR!
My brother got married in November and has yet to send thank you notes. A few family members have told me that they are offended and asked if they have sent any. Well, they haven't. And don't plan to anytime soon. My brother is a wicked mommas boy so I suggested she say something to him about it. Well, she flipped out and said he has a year to send them. Um, no mom. Just no. I explained everything that was just mentioned above and she wasn't having it.
Easy knowing you're from Boston
RAWR!
Yeah this whole "year to send TY notes"...if it took a year for me to receive a TY note, I don't know, I'd be mad to be honest. So glad people are attempting to straighten that misconception out. By no means should it take more than a few months, TOPS.
But anyway, M&M, I'd probably ask them. Because if they are slow to get them out and it makes them feel uneasy, then I say GOOD, because you should have had your TY note a couple months ago IMO.