Time between ceremony and reception

AndreanaD324 · March 2012

Should I still be worried about what my guests will be doing after the ceremony?

My church told me the latest they can do ceremonies is 2:30...so I figure we'll be done by 3:15. Then cocktails will be at our reception site at 5pm. It seems to me like a large time period for them to wait. But my bridal party and I will be taking pictures at that time so it won't seem long to us.

Should I just go with the flow on this?

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aleighk1 · March 2012

2 hours is a little long. It should be closer to an hour. Can you move the cocktail hour to 4:15?

[Deleted User] · March 2012

That's not ok. Your guest should be able to leave the ceremony site, drive to the reception site, and immediately begin cocktails. You should worry about the gap because it's incredibly rude. Alter your plans to eliminate the gap.

AdeleDazeem · March 2012

I hate the "we'll be taking pictures during the gap!" excuse. Cocktail hours are for pictures. Gaps are for no one.

mkgrover · March 2012

You need to do everything in your power to move up your start time for the cocktail hour. It's not the end of the world if your meal ends up being served at 4:30 or 5 pm, rather than 6pm. It won't ruin "your special day", trust me.

AndreanaD324 · March 2012

It's not like I wanted the gap! Some of the comments seem a little catty! The reception site is 15 minutes away to answer that question. I wanted the church ceremony later! I had to work with my church. Being as the wedding is five weeks away I will be looking into the cocktail time.

mkgrover · March 2012

First off, this question gets asked way more frequently than it should. And secondly, the fact you asked in your OP if you should just "go with the flow" indicated to me (and probably others reading it) that you didn't think there was anything wrong with a gap.

It is nice, however, to see that you're being reasonable enough to look into moving your cocktail hour up. If you're not able to, you need to figure out how to host something for your guests in the gap.

AndreanaD324 · March 2012

I'm obviously worried about it if I brought it up on a forum I haven't used since I got engaged. I'm hoping the problem is recified and that the day goes smoothly. I think about others a lot...I'm sure other brides wouldn't care as much.

AdeleDazeem · March 2012

If you can't move the cocktail hour up, could you host some light refreshments (cheese and crackers) and drinks (can be non-alcoholic) in the church's parish room? Or at the hotel? You don't need to spend a lot of money on it, but hosting something, however small, is better than letting everyone fend for themselves.

If there really isn't anything you can do about it, be sure that your guests know there will be a gap.

banana468 · March 2012

Why did you book the reception first and ceremony second? We looked at both venues simultaneously so there wouldn't be a gap. Please host something for your guests. It's the only reasonable solution if you can't move up your reception start.

AndreanaD324 · March 2012

Thank you for the suggestion @Joy2611. All my guests already know about the gap and I'll try my best to make the transition as seamless as possible. If my church was a little more movable on the ceremony time this would have never came up.
Thank you for the comments ladies.

AndreanaD324 · March 2012

I booked at the same time with input from all parties. Church said 230 and the venue said 5pm so that the five hour reception package would not end too early. My mom thought ending before nine was a bit early. So this is what I have ended up with. And this question being brought up has added more stress. yay!

aragx6 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:06b128bc-237a-492d-a15a-11d83169c0eaPost:86b2b473-c93f-4ead-bf3e-b5ad59adc30c">Re: Time between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you for the suggestion @Joy2611. <strong>All my guests already know about the gap</strong> and I'll try my best to make the transition as seamless as possible. If my church was a little more movable on the ceremony time this would have never came up. Thank you for the comments ladies.
Posted by AndreanaD324[/QUOTE]

I'm confused. If you didn't, until recently, realize there was a gap and that you should look into doing something about it, how would your guests know in advance there's a gap?

Most churches aren't that flexible -- that's why it's important to plan around this in advance.

achiduck · March 2012

Gaps are really annoying. If you don't want to see each other before the ceremony get your pictures with your family and your BMs and him and his family and his GMs out of the way beforehand and start the reception earlier.

AndreanaD324 · March 2012

Being as it's five weeks until the weddng day, all the guests know because I've sent invitations and I've already received RSVPs. I've just been thinking about this a very long time.

I think I've made myself out to be the stupidest bride of the day with this question so thank you every one for your remarks. I'll be consulting with people closest to me for solutions to what apparently is a huge no-no. I'm told my second cousin had a gap where he went to take pictures in a special park between the ceremony and reception. I don't have that aspect. Just church and venue scheduling concerns.

redheadfsu · March 2012

I ditto Joy - at least have something. Try to get rid of the gap, but if you can't make sure the guests have somewhere to go and something to drink/eat.

I have seen people do cute local stuff during the gap. Since I usually go to southern weddings that means something like sweet tea and usually some type of finger food that is Southern.

sparent2010 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06b128bc-237a-492d-a15a-11d83169c0eaPost:2d066d25-2e74-46d0-a66a-d98dd3b1b696">Re: Time between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm obviously worried about it if I brought it up on a forum I haven't used since I got engaged. I'm hoping the problem is recified and that the day goes smoothly. <strong>I think about others a lot...I'm sure other brides wouldn't care as much.</strong>
Posted by AndreanaD324[/QUOTE]

B/c the rest of us are total bitches? Don't make assumptions about other brides

It is good that you are looking into moving the cocktail hour up I am sure your guests will appreciate this. My cousin did this- she took pictures with her WP for about 4 hours. None of us knew about this gap and her cocktail hour ran out of food for her guests. It was pretty awful

sparent2010 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06b128bc-237a-492d-a15a-11d83169c0eaPost:ae2c35e6-857b-435e-a4a4-acebc3d13611">Re: Time between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Gaps are really annoying. If you don't want to see each other before the ceremony get your pictures with your family and your BMs and him and his family and his GMs out of the way beforehand and start the reception earlier.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

This is a great suggestion esp if you have a large family-

ebhavens · March 2012

My friend got married last year, and she had a gap just as long. The location had another bar we all went to, and grabbed drinks. It was a little long of a gap, but we all made it work, and the reception made us all forget about the time we spent at the bar before hand.

I get some people are not ok with this, but I have the same issue, with a one hour gap, and it is what it is. We have bars at the hotel next to the reception location, and I would rather have my food/drinks at 5pm, if I was a guest then at 4pm. It makes for a great evening, and your guests are not looking for something to do at the end of the reception, because they feel they had a great evening.

Just make sure to give them options of where to go before the reception starts

AndreanaD324 · March 2012

I was defending myself that is all. No offense intended.

AndreanaD324 · March 2012

Thank you for the suggestions about planning something small in between. It might be the way to go with these particular sites.

MiksChick23 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06b128bc-237a-492d-a15a-11d83169c0eaPost:aaca570e-064f-4cfa-aee9-6ac74db12cde">Re: Time between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]My friend got married last year, and she had a gap just as long. <strong>The location had another bar we all went to, and grabbed drinks. </strong> It was a little long of a gap, but we all made it work, and the reception made us all forget about the time we spent at the bar before hand. I get some people are not ok with this, but I have the same issue, with a one hour gap, and it is what it is. We have bars at the hotel next to the reception location, and I would rather have my food/drinks at 5pm, if I was a guest then at 4pm. It makes for a great evening, and your guests are not looking for something to do at the end of the reception, because they feel they had a great evening. Just make sure to give them options of where to go before the reception starts :)
Posted by ebhavens[/QUOTE]

We did this at my cousins wedding too. A Mexican restaurant down the street had a margarita happy hour so we went there. But guess what? They also had a free taco bar, so we ate as well, sitting around for 2 hours with drinks made us all hungry. Come time for the reception, we weren't that hungry for the meal B&G had spent so much money on. I know of others who have hit up a fast food restaurant or somthing during the gap. I figured if I'm spending so much money to feed everyone, I should probably ensure that I don't leave them with a huge gap that they could use to eat. Just a thought.

[Deleted User] · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06b128bc-237a-492d-a15a-11d83169c0eaPost:111daf44-f561-4c41-ac3f-44168b64e3b4">Re: Time between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I booked at the same time with input from all parties. Church said 230 and the venue said 5pm so that the five hour reception package would not end too early. My mom thought ending before nine was a bit early. So this is what I have ended up with. And this question being brought up has added more stress. yay!
Posted by AndreanaD324[/QUOTE]
You didn't "end up" with this. This didn't happen to you. You proactively created this situation by planning your wedding this way. I don't understand why people don't think this stuff through.

Much, much better for your reception to end early than to have a gap. So do that. Gaps are the worst. You should be stressed about it. Don't blame us, you created this situation yourself.

AndreanaD324 · March 2012

Wow

Squishy'sGal · March 2012

I had a two hour gap between ceremony and reception that just couldn't be helped. The reception hall had an afternoon party going on the same day so I couldn't move up the start time and the church couldn't give me a later ceremony time.

Luckily, the reception hall had a separate barroom so I arranged for my guests to go to the bar and have a cocktail or two while waiting for the reception room to open. I just ran a tab. We took our pictures during that time and were able to make the cocktail hour.

You should try to give the guests a place to go while waiting for the reception.

tinstarsunshine · March 2012

I had this same question since there is an hour long gap between the ceremony and the cocktail hour and the reception space is 10 min from the church!. My own fault since i didn see the typo on the invite. Im trying to figure out a way to let people who dont go to the ceremony know that the cocktail hour starts at 7 not 7:30, since everyone at the church will be told. I am less than a month out so mailing corrections is so not going to happen. My FI was joking that if they dont go to the most important part (our ceremony) its their own fault for missing half of cocktail hour.

Squishy'sGal · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06b128bc-237a-492d-a15a-11d83169c0eaPost:4ad4cba3-e58d-47f6-95d0-a1a492aa9628">Re: Time between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a two hour gap between ceremony and reception that just couldn't be helped. The reception hall had an afternoon party going on the same day so I couldn't move up the start time and the church couldn't give me a later ceremony time. Luckily, the reception hall had a separate barroom so I arranged for my guests to go to the bar and have a cocktail or two while waiting for the reception room to open. I just ran a tab. We took our pictures during that time and were able to make the cocktail hour. You should try to give the guests a place to go while waiting for the reception.
Posted by Squishy'sGal[/QUOTE]

<div>I do have to add that my family and friends are party types so they had no problem with an extra hour of free drinking. (the hall was 45 mins from the church so the commute shaved off some of the waiting time)</div>

LeiselEB · March 2012

We have a gap and gaps are really common in my circle - it's never been an issue for us.

That said, we are hosting food and drinks at my parents' house during the gap, and my fiance's parents are doing the same for their side of the guest list. Otherwise, people will just head to a bar or get something to eat in the meantime.

Gaps aren't the end of the world, but you need to host something in between.

AndreanaD324 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:06b128bc-237a-492d-a15a-11d83169c0eaPost:4ad4cba3-e58d-47f6-95d0-a1a492aa9628">Re: Time between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a two hour gap between ceremony and reception that just couldn't be helped. The reception hall had an afternoon party going on the same day so I couldn't move up the start time and the church couldn't give me a later ceremony time. Luckily, the reception hall had a separate barroom so I arranged for my guests to go to the bar and have a cocktail or two while waiting for the reception room to open. I just ran a tab. We took our pictures during that time and were able to make the cocktail hour. You should try to give the guests a place to go while waiting for the reception.
Posted by Squishy'sGal[/QUOTE]

The reception venue has a bar so I can direct the guest there. Or if they are staying at the golf club cottages they can fresh up in their suites. Thank you for you comment.

[Deleted User] · March 2012

I always notice that the only people who say that gaps are ok are people that had one themselves. Things that make you go hmmm

AndreanaD324 · March 2012

I was feeling a bit down there for a while, but thanks to the last couple of comments I'm able to see a path to a solution.... without feeling like crap about the situation "I got myself into". I will be sure to direct my guests and I'm sure that my family won't mind extra time to get a buzz started.

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