if i wanted etiquette advice i would have asked....or even posted it on the etiquette blog..but thats not what i was asking...im def sticking w/ the weddingbee.com..everyone gives the advice thats asked from them...and doesn't go completly off subject. as for the waitress analogy..it was perfect. but again...you went off topic and looked at the fact that they were paid... yes some people gave me good advice as where to go... if it was you banana468, which at this point i cant remember..thanks you...and thank you to everyone that has given me the advice that i was looking for...but besides where to find good invites..the rest of the advice is not useful and was not need..
Niki, please make sure you get your invitations proofed before you print them.
And if you bothered to read, many people told you where to look. Stationery stores, Target, Michaels, etc. All of these places have great invitations. If you don't like them, perhaps let us know what you DO like so we can offer more suggestions.
National stationery stores: Hallmark, Carlton, American Greetings, Papyrus. Find one. Visit it.
Niki, I"m still completely baffled by your hostility. Completely. Despite your name calling, terrible grammar, etc., I have consistently said it's fine to host the party, albeit with a name change if you and your FI are the hosts. And I've given you numerous recommendations on where to look for invitations.
It seems that you want someone to tell you the party is your birthright and email you the perfect invitation. Personally, for an e-party, I'd probably send evites because it's a very informal occasion to me. I think paper invitations are a waste of stamps and overkill. And, I think sending a paper invitation makes it look, to guests, like gifts are probably expected.
Also, please note - this is a message board. The Etiquette board is also a message board. Neither are blogs. Calling them blogs is sort of like calling the TV news a newspaper or calling the local university a nursery school. Although they are both time-sequenced writings posted on the internet, that's about all they have in common. If you want me to believe you're a real person, at least make the effort. As it stands now, I strongly suspect that you're what we call a troll - another regular poster who has created a fake account to annoy other regular posters, either for fun, or because they have a bone to pick. If you're not a troll, you should really rethink your attitude and how you present yourself online.
omg get over it..b/c i didnt call it a proper name....this is an info board by the way that is under the "invites and paper" title... this site is nothing but a bunch of snobs who like to trash people....you only gave me advice after you gave me an etiquette lesson. No im not a troll..i created my own page b/c after i got engaged all of my friends and my mother-in-law told me this page was a great tool to use to help look for local vendors, florist etc... so i took advantage of using the community tool to see what other websites brides/brides to be might have used to find invites..thats all...i never expected anything more...Now someone recommended the wedding bee.com i went there asked the same question and actually had people RESPOND to my question w/ suggestions on what sites or what programs to use.. so it seems to me that majority..not all, but most people here are rude. I am a very nice and respectful person..but when im given advice that was not asked for and then bashed for it...then i get mad..yes...wouldn't you?? getting an etiquett lesson from complete strangers that doesn't know the real person that you are... so from here on out....i dont want to hear about etiquett or about you bashing me b/c you dont actually know the person i truely am...
P.s. excuse my poor spelling & punctuation..i didn't know i was going to be corrected on that too...
However if the majority of the posters are saying, "This is not appropriate etiquette but if you want to do this, here is the appropriate way," why yell at them and get upset?
Personally, I'd rather have a bunch of strangers give me some really honest advice rather than validate me. I'd want to know that what I proposed was rather offensive before I made a big mistake,
But what do I know. I'm just someone to whom you wished an expensive divorce.
But banana, we didn't tell her how OMG AWESOME!!!!!11!!!1! her idea is and spend hours researching for her so that she didn't have to do anything except host her own party. That, of course, means that we're evil and selfish and will need those divorce attorneys.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_engagement-party-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0af23fdb-a144-41c9-aeff-ecdfd1cdfdaaPost:27b96a3d-14e8-4bbe-8270-34951088f42b">Re: engagement party invites...</a>: [QUOTE]thanks lol. The things they were saying to me just b/c i asked about where to buy good invites was crazy! they told me my marriage was going to fail and what i should and shouldnt do and even commenting on how i spelled things....i was in complete shock! cause a bunch of people reccomended it to me. Then somone on the knot recommended this and so far all of the people posted actually answered my question and were nice about it lol <strong>Who told you your marriage was going to fail? I didn't see that any where in this thread.</strong> Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
Remember, we told her to enjoy her divorce and that we hoped she had expensive lawyer bills? OH WAIT, that was her. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
Whoa whoa everyone. Deep breath. Let's all just calm down.
If it's casual invites you're going for, I'm sure you would find something cute and inexpensive at your local stationary/invite store. I'm thinking of one in my area while I write this, but any store like that will have something that goes along with the theme of your event or wedding, and you can probably find something at a good price. Also Michaels has cute DIY invites.
As far as the actual engagement party goes, engagement parties are not gift giving occasions. Etiquette says that no gift is necessary. Some people do give gifts but it's not the same as a shower where the purpose of the event is to give gifts to the bride. An engagement party is simply a way to bring everyone together and say, "we're engaged!! let's celebrate!!!" So I see nothing wrong with a couple having their own engagement party. I could imagine throwing one myself if it was casual and all of my friends that are my age were invited. It would basically turn into a house party. in this case, a family engagement party, it is probably more appropriate to have the parents throw it, which they're doing. So, what's this big fight about?? So what if the bride originally said she was having the engagement party. It wasn't the main part of her post, and she corrected herself after. Her point was, IF she wanted to throw one, she COULD but she's NOT.
It's NEVER appropriate to throw a party in honor of yourself. Ever.
Even throwing your own birthday party isn't OK - and it's not about the presents. it's because it's not OK to ask people to AW and ask people to come celebrate you. THAT is what makes it inappropriate etiquette.
So hh, before you do discuss what is and isn't appropriate, you may want to read up a bit more on proper etiquette so you can advise others correctly.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_engagement-party-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0af23fdb-a144-41c9-aeff-ecdfd1cdfdaaPost:42a5b63f-d382-46e6-8973-2ad38ce5b70c">Re: engagement party invites...</a>: [QUOTE]Whoa whoa everyone. Deep breath. Let's all just calm down. Posted by hh581842[/QUOTE]
I took your advice, but it didn't work. Then I tried breathing into a paper bag with no luck either. Should I call the doctor? Am I going to die? Wait. Does heaven have grey walls and a receptionist? No. Wait. That's my office. Phew. I think I'm okay.
hahaha yeah. I wrote my post after reading the first page--I didn't realize there were two more!!! lol. My post isn't really relevant at this point....
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_engagement-party-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0af23fdb-a144-41c9-aeff-ecdfd1cdfdaaPost:7a07d289-0095-4b64-928a-dbac6ec17e75">Re: engagement party invites...</a>: [QUOTE]I'm sure married life is going to work out great for you. Are you going to call your mommy the second your FI does something you don't like? Or will you just write emails to him pretending to be her berating him? The 1st sentence..i took it as she was saying my marriage was going to fail/not work out Posted by niki12301[/QUOTE]
Well, I think you read way too much into that first sentence. I also think it was pretty shitty that you didn't disclose in your other blog (but not really) that your initial post talked about how you were throwing the party for yourself. You also didn't explain how you pretended to be your mom so that you could berate us. Oh and you forgot to tell them how you called us bitches and wished expensive divorces on us. Cute.
niki - nobody put you down. That's what you're missing. Nobody was being mean until YOU started calling people bitches. Really! You asked a question, we answered the question, and advised that what you stated you were planning to do might not be such a good idea. Just because we didn't kiss your butt doesn't make us mean.
Nobody said YOU are rude (until you insulted us, and in fact you as a person do seem to be pretty rude). We said what you wanted to DO was rude. And we stand by that.
I assure you, your lack of etiquette isn't going to make or break my day/life/marriage. But, it might for you. And, if you can't manage to take pleasantly presented advice from neutral strangers on the internet, what will you do if/when someone you know thinks you've done something rude? Will you call THEM a bitch and wish them an expensive divorce?
lets see...hmm...people who give me advice.... KNOW ME!!!! AND KNOW WHAT GOING ON..really... just get on with our life and leave me alone...everthing is perfect in mine. I have an amazing family. And sorry you were pretty rude...automatically correcting me on my etiquette. yes it was bad on my part to put that we were throwing it....i should have said imy parents were throwing it for us..but when i corrected myself thats when people were still talking about my etiquette. I am not a self absorbed person. i would rather give than recieve. Thats who i am, so i would never do anything rude.EVER. i always take into account others. I am always asking opinions from my family regarding my wedding to make sure i do everything right and I dont offend or upset anyone thats invited...and yes people were putting me down...calling me and idiot, and judging me on my spelling. thats when i got pissed and started saying stuff back.. so please i am done with this....i found what im looking for for invites..thats all i came here for.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_engagement-party-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0af23fdb-a144-41c9-aeff-ecdfd1cdfdaaPost:fd17caf0-f3be-459c-ad95-87b118ca6cde">Re: engagement party invites...</a>: [QUOTE]l<strong>ets see...hmm...people who give me advice.... KNOW ME!!!! AND KNOW WHAT GOING ON</strong>..really... just get on with our life and leave me alone...everthing is perfect in mine. I have an amazing family. And sorry you were pretty rude...automatically correcting me on my etiquette. yes it was bad on my part to put that we were throwing it....i should have said imy parents were throwing it for us..but when i corrected myself thats when people were still talking about my etiquette. I am not a self absorbed person. i would rather give than recieve. Thats who i am, so i would never do anything rude.EVER. i always take into account others. I am always asking opinions from my family regarding my wedding to make sure i do everything right and I dont offend or upset anyone thats invited...and yes people were putting me down...calling me and idiot, and judging me on my spelling. thats when i got pissed and started saying stuff back.. so please i am done with this....i found what im looking for for invites..thats all i came here for. Posted by niki12301[/QUOTE]
<div>This is a general comment is meant to be taken seriously (geared not only to niki): Unbiased advice from strangers is always going to be better than advice you get from friends and family. Your friends and family will almost always agree with your ideas, especially if you're a bride to be. They will sugar coat things, smile to your face, nod and agree with almost anything - then they'll talk behind your back about your bad behavior, terrible ideas, etc. Guarantee it. I think that, however rude you may feel posters are on here, their advice is valid whether solicited, or not. Sure, you think no one should have mentioned anything about etiquette, but this is an open forum and people are allowed to post as they wish. </div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_engagement-party-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0af23fdb-a144-41c9-aeff-ecdfd1cdfdaaPost:7c0ec2fc-13c9-49f0-a5d8-72a14e534643">Re: engagement party invites...</a>: [QUOTE]Anyone else get a PM from the troll telling them, "really grow up and go to hell"? Just me? Okay then. Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
I got a "thank you." I'm not sure if it was for my posting an edited version of one of her responses with all the spelling and grammatical mistakes fixed or LMAO that her mommy jumped to her defense...
Re: engagement party invites...
And if you bothered to read, many people told you where to look. Stationery stores, Target, Michaels, etc. All of these places have great invitations. If you don't like them, perhaps let us know what you DO like so we can offer more suggestions.
National stationery stores: Hallmark, Carlton, American Greetings, Papyrus. Find one. Visit it.
Have fun at your party.
planning
It seems that you want someone to tell you the party is your birthright and email you the perfect invitation. Personally, for an e-party, I'd probably send evites because it's a very informal occasion to me. I think paper invitations are a waste of stamps and overkill. And, I think sending a paper invitation makes it look, to guests, like gifts are probably expected.
Also, please note - this is a message board. The Etiquette board is also a message board. Neither are blogs. Calling them blogs is sort of like calling the TV news a newspaper or calling the local university a nursery school. Although they are both time-sequenced writings posted on the internet, that's about all they have in common. If you want me to believe you're a real person, at least make the effort. As it stands now, I strongly suspect that you're what we call a troll - another regular poster who has created a fake account to annoy other regular posters, either for fun, or because they have a bone to pick. If you're not a troll, you should really rethink your attitude and how you present yourself online.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
P.s. excuse my poor spelling & punctuation..i didn't know i was going to be corrected on that too...
Here's the beauty of a message board/forum:
You can choose how you word your question.
You can't choose how others respond.
However if the majority of the posters are saying, "This is not appropriate etiquette but if you want to do this, here is the appropriate way," why yell at them and get upset?
Personally, I'd rather have a bunch of strangers give me some really honest advice rather than validate me. I'd want to know that what I proposed was rather offensive before I made a big mistake,
But what do I know. I'm just someone to whom you wished an expensive divorce.
:eyeroll:
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
[QUOTE]thanks lol. The things they were saying to me just b/c i asked about where to buy good invites was crazy! they told me my marriage was going to fail and what i should and shouldnt do and even commenting on how i spelled things....i was in complete shock! cause a bunch of people reccomended it to me. Then somone on the knot recommended this and so far all of the people posted actually answered my question and were nice about it lol <strong>Who told you your marriage was going to fail? I didn't see that any where in this thread.</strong>
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
Remember, we told her to enjoy her divorce and that we hoped she had expensive lawyer bills? OH WAIT, that was her. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
It has ZERO to do with gifts.
It's NEVER appropriate to throw a party in honor of yourself. Ever.
Even throwing your own birthday party isn't OK - and it's not about the presents. it's because it's not OK to ask people to AW and ask people to come celebrate you. THAT is what makes it inappropriate etiquette.
So hh, before you do discuss what is and isn't appropriate, you may want to read up a bit more on proper etiquette so you can advise others correctly.
[QUOTE]Whoa whoa everyone. Deep breath. Let's all just calm down. Posted by hh581842[/QUOTE]
I took your advice, but it didn't work. Then I tried breathing into a paper bag with no luck either. Should I call the doctor? Am I going to die? Wait. Does heaven have grey walls and a receptionist? No. Wait. That's my office. Phew. I think I'm okay.
[QUOTE]I'm sure married life is going to work out great for you. Are you going to call your mommy the second your FI does something you don't like? Or will you just write emails to him pretending to be her berating him? The 1st sentence..i took it as she was saying my marriage was going to fail/not work out
Posted by niki12301[/QUOTE]
Well, I think you read way too much into that first sentence. I also think it was pretty shitty that you didn't disclose in your other blog (but not really) that your initial post talked about how you were throwing the party for yourself. You also didn't explain how you pretended to be your mom so that you could berate us. Oh and you forgot to tell them how you called us bitches and wished expensive divorces on us. Cute.
Nobody said YOU are rude (until you insulted us, and in fact you as a person do seem to be pretty rude). We said what you wanted to DO was rude. And we stand by that.
I assure you, your lack of etiquette isn't going to make or break my day/life/marriage. But, it might for you. And, if you can't manage to take pleasantly presented advice from neutral strangers on the internet, what will you do if/when someone you know thinks you've done something rude? Will you call THEM a bitch and wish them an expensive divorce?
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
[QUOTE]l<strong>ets see...hmm...people who give me advice.... KNOW ME!!!! AND KNOW WHAT GOING ON</strong>..really... just get on with our life and leave me alone...everthing is perfect in mine. I have an amazing family. And sorry you were pretty rude...automatically correcting me on my etiquette. yes it was bad on my part to put that we were throwing it....i should have said imy parents were throwing it for us..but when i corrected myself thats when people were still talking about my etiquette. I am not a self absorbed person. i would rather give than recieve. Thats who i am, so i would never do anything rude.EVER. i always take into account others. I am always asking opinions from my family regarding my wedding to make sure i do everything right and I dont offend or upset anyone thats invited...and yes people were putting me down...calling me and idiot, and judging me on my spelling. thats when i got pissed and started saying stuff back.. so please i am done with this....i found what im looking for for invites..thats all i came here for.
Posted by niki12301[/QUOTE]
<div>This is a general comment is meant to be taken seriously (geared not only to niki): Unbiased advice from strangers is always going to be better than advice you get from friends and family. Your friends and family will almost always agree with your ideas, especially if you're a bride to be. They will sugar coat things, smile to your face, nod and agree with almost anything - then they'll talk behind your back about your bad behavior, terrible ideas, etc. Guarantee it. I think that, however rude you may feel posters are on here, their advice is valid whether solicited, or not. Sure, you think no one should have mentioned anything about etiquette, but this is an open forum and people are allowed to post as they wish. </div>
40/112
[QUOTE]Anyone else get a PM from the troll telling them, "really grow up and go to hell"? Just me? Okay then.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
I got a "thank you." I'm not sure if it was for my posting an edited version of one of her responses with all the spelling and grammatical mistakes fixed or LMAO that her mommy jumped to her defense...