Textbook Bullying

Re: Textbook Bullying

• jchristel member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Just my opinion, but I think that if you have issues with people's comments on this board and want to voice them, a private message would be more appropriate.  How is naming people who you feel behaved badly and calling them out in a public post any better than the behavior you are criticizing?  Pot calling the kettle black IMO.

  

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• CM1206

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Oh get off your high horse. It's a public message board. You can post whatever you want. Don't like? Don't read it or find another message board. I hear the one on brides.com is super wonderful!!!!!!!!!

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• Jersey Girl In Love member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Difference is: I wasn't calling anyone nasty names.  I was simply commenting on their comments and if you truly feel that people should make comments like that via private messages, why didn't you mention that during the influx of nasty PUBLIC messages directed at Crazy4U the other day? 

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• Jersey Girl In Love member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  So what if I'm on my high horse?  At least I don't get my kicks being nasty to people.

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• kewltif member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I really don't get my kicks on being nasty to people.
  
  To me it was like watching real life being played out on this board.  I have a lot of guy friends, and I know exactly the type of behavior that leads them to dislike their friends girlfriends.  I think many of the girls would be absolutely horrified if they knew what was being said about them moments before walking in the door. 
  
  Saying something like, " I'll go to Vegas at the same time and stay in another hotel" is exactly the type of comment that would get her FI busted on and not win her any friends.  It comes across as extremely controlling. 
  
  I was trying to offer advice.  Yes, some of the ridiculous things said later led to even more ridiculous replies (I'm sorry, I can't help but laugh at the legalized prostitution in Montreal), but overall, if you take anything away, it's that most people see some sort of trust issues.  Maybe she has a right to be distrustful, but that's something that also needs to be evaluated before getting married.

  

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• cvl105

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Tiffany nailed it on the head...I couldn't have said it better.

  ~Chelsea~
  
  
  

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• Jersey Girl In Love member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  kewltif - What you're saying makes perfect sense (what a lot of people were saying the other day made perfect sense) and although I don't necessarily agree that it's 100% related to trust issues (though it may be), I get what you're saying completely. 
  
  The problem was that some people just started making really nasty and rude remarks and it just started to irk me that they wouldn't drop it... it was just one rude remark after another when all the girl did was ask for advice.
  
  Thanks for replying without calling me names or telling me to get out of here!  :-)
  

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• jchristel member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:64d1a442-04fb-4cf6-98ca-4b4dfd5206ee">Re: Textbook Bullying</a>:
  [QUOTE]Difference is: I wasn't calling anyone nasty names.  I was simply commenting on their comments and if you truly feel that people should make comments like that via private messages, why didn't you mention that during the influx of nasty PUBLIC messages directed at Crazy4U the other day? 
  Posted by Jersey Girl In Love[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>This will be my last comment on this subject.  I didn't reply to your post to start an argument with you.  I was simply pointing out that by specifically naming someone and telling them they should focus on their marriage you are adding to the drama and more than likely starting another inflammatory thread.  Your original intention was to stand up for someone and I can respect that, but throwing in what will most likely be seen as a personal attack took the focus off of what you were trying to do. IMO.  
  
  </div>

  

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• Jersey Girl In Love member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:54746187-5e6e-40ac-9b9a-56cecf852764">Re: Textbook Bullying</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Textbook Bullying : This will be my last comment on this subject.  I didn't reply to your post to start an argument with you.  I was simply pointing out that by specifically naming someone and telling them they should focus on their marriage you are adding to the drama and more than likely starting another inflammatory thread.  Your original intention was to stand up for someone and I can respect that, but throwing in what will most likely be seen as a personal attack took the focus off of what you were trying to do. IMO.  
  Posted by jchristel[/QUOTE]
  
  Thanks for clarifying (not saying that in a snarky way).  I knew as soon as I posted that message that it would probably start another inflammatory thread, but I just felt like certain things had to be addressed.  It wasn't just to stand up for someone, it was to point out that certain individuals are bullies.  I came onto this site to get help for wedding planning, not to read post after post of insulting remarks and personal attacks.  Honestly, the only reason I mentioned her specifically is because she was the one who seemed to be the ring leader of it all.  It doesn't matter though, because she says she'll never post on here again... she's creating her own facebook page where she can continue bashing people without being moderated.

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• Lola Minnie member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  But it was ok for her to say "screw..you" to people who didn't agree? And to call Erika and Brad names? There's two sides to each story. I'm not interested in this anymore. IMO, she's young and inexperienced so maybe she is a little more nervous with her man possibly going to Vegas.  But the subject seemed squashed, and you reopened it.  Who cares at this point? There was bullying on both sides.

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• gibribuz member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I agree with you, Jersey Girl.

  

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• melissa82 member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  The circle of life is complete once again

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• caketime

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Ditto Melissa.  This subject was done and gone but you brought it up again. 

  
  

  And to clarify the reason I placed her name in a subject line is because I wanted clarification on why she did not want him going out there.  It was a simple question.  The fact it was never answered it was kept leading to speculation.  Had she come right back on, she has enough posts to know that we are an active board to not post and run unless you state otherwise, to clarify what she meant we would not have kept speculating.

  
  

  Cheryl is so not the ringleader of anything as it is hard for her to get on during the day.  Before you call people out perhaps you should stick around and really see what goes on here.   

  
  

  And yes, by bringing this subject up again and doing the whole "focus on your life" you have opened it up making yourself look quite ridiculous.  If you do not like the board no one is holding you to being here.  

  
  

  P.S. So you understand usually when someone's name is in a subject that means it's a message for them or a question.  It's not specifically to call out or for attack purposes.  PM's are very new to this board so us "old-timers" forget that they are even there.

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• Jersey Girl In Love member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:b5eb903a-455f-4ad3-8e26-4ce3075cc4cc">Re: Textbook Bullying</a>:
  [QUOTE]I agree with you, Jersey Girl.
  Posted by gibribuz[/QUOTE]
  
  Thanks gibribuz!  It's nice to know there are people on here who understand what I'm talking about.   :-)

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• Jersey Girl In Love member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:10995f7f-73b7-4c49-92e0-ca78396a9bdd">Re: Textbook Bullying</a>:
  [QUOTE]Ditto Melissa.  This subject was done and gone but you brought it up again.  And to clarify the reason I placed her name in a subject line is because I wanted clarification on why she did not want him going out there.  It was a simple question.  The fact it was never answered it was kept leading to speculation... 
  Posted by caketime[/QUOTE]
  
  I didn't "bring it up again" the way several of you kept bringing it up in additonal threads.  Rather, I felt the need to address a situation that seriously irked me and warranted an additional thread about the absurdity and childishness of it all. 
  
  I understand the whole putting someone's name in a subject line to get their attention thing, but you know what your real intentions were, so please stop acting holier-than-thou and take some responsibility for trying to provoke her.  The fact that you began to "speculate" about her proves my point.  She probably just felt it wasn't worth her time addressing you and stating the same points she did earlier because it would just lead to more controversy and personal attacks.  Kudos to her for that. 

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• Jersey Girl In Love member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:67bd0a67-085c-4cc3-9db0-ad491f41c796">Re: Textbook Bullying</a>:
  [QUOTE]But it was ok for her to say "screw..you" to people who didn't agree? And to call Erika and Brad names? There's two sides to each story...
  Posted by Lola Minnie[/QUOTE]
  
  I'm not saying it was okay for her to do that and I haven't seen the post where she said it, but I assume it was most likely because of the nasty and rude comments made by people toward her.  I'd get offended too.

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• dianenjnj member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  jersey girl

  
  

  i do agree with you as well.
  

  
  

  i think you are probably going to find this board (bored) filled with people who have alot of time on their hands and do get their kicks from being bullies......can't imagine what these people actually DO for a living...and needing the support of "pretend cyber friends."  

  
  

  i find them at times so silly it's like watching a train wreck...just can't help looking!

  
  

  as for advice...you won't get anything worthwhile here...

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• kewltif member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:aede969e-f6a6-4790-a2f2-0d1b5aaad0cf">Re: Textbook Bullying</a>:
  [QUOTE]jersey girl i do agree with you as well. i think you are probably going to find this board (bored) filled with people who have alot of time on their hands and do get their kicks from being bullies......can't imagine what these people actually DO for a living...and needing the support of "pretend cyber friends."   i find them at times so silly it's like watching a train wreck...just can't help looking! as for advice...you won't get anything worthwhile here...
  Posted by dianenjnj[/QUOTE]
  
  Diane- why do you come here then? I don't get it. Your daughter got married. It's over. You can't pretend to be here for wedding advice.

  

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• melissa82 member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Diane, who are you trying to kid? You used to be one of the rudest posters!

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• Lola Minnie member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:aede969e-f6a6-4790-a2f2-0d1b5aaad0cf">Re: Textbook Bullying</a>:
  [QUOTE]jersey girl i do agree with you as well. i think you are probably going to find this board (bored) filled with people who have alot of time on their hands and do get their kicks from being bullies......can't imagine what these people actually DO for a living...and needing the support of "pretend cyber friends."   i find them at times so silly it's like watching a train wreck...just can't help looking! as for advice...you won't get anything worthwhile here...
  Posted by dianenjnj[/QUOTE]
  
  Diane, you're a mom who's DAUGHTER got married - GET A LIFE

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• CM1206

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Jersey Girl....if you think this is bad, go lurk over on any one of the national boards. Those girls can be harsh. This was nothing.

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• caketime

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  My real reason was to find out why she would not allow him to go.  She did not state anything in her OP except that she did not want him there so of course we are led to speculate.  And we may have taken her more seriously had she bothered to learn to spell properly.

  
  

  And yes, that was my real reason if you even bothered to read it, which I highly doubt, so please stop your assuming and speculation.  So I will now go ride my horse.

  
  

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• jaimelody

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I think at this point people are really just trying to be mean for the sake of it. It's one thing to give advice and quite another to push your opinions and harsh words on someone. I understand that the ladies here get quite a kick out of some of the questions asked here but we're going on three days here. Can we let the issue die? I'm pretty sure she got the "awakening" everyone thought she needed.
  
  Lola, this board is for brides, grooms, MOB, MOHs and anyone else involved in the wedding. I've seen Diane be blunt and honest, but her role is no reason for her not to be here.

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• cateyes624

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  I'm not too sure why you think you need to stick up for a grown woman, can't she do that herself.  I think the fact that you started this again makes you as much of an instigator as the people you are trying to call out. 

  

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• connor24

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Everyone has been talking about this for the past couple of days, she did not reopen the subject.

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• eeponine

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Nice, Jersey Girl. I was thinking the same thing.

  

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• kewltif member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:ef1c7ce4-8f7e-4042-a97f-ab038c9f0b7f">Re: Textbook Bullying</a>:
  [QUOTE]I think at this point people are really just trying to be mean for the sake of it. It's one thing to give advice and quite another to push your opinions and harsh words on someone. I understand that the ladies here get quite a kick out of some of the questions asked here but we're going on three days here. Can we let the issue die? I'm pretty sure she got the "awakening" everyone thought she needed. Lola, this board is for brides, grooms, MOB, MOHs and anyone else involved in the wedding. I've seen Diane be blunt and honest, but her role is no reason for her not to be here.
  Posted by jaimelody[/QUOTE]
  
  The reason I commented on Diane is because she's throwing around words like, "You're married move on" when at the same time her daughter is already married and she's still here.
  
  At this point the discussion isn't really even about the original poster anymore.  We're sort of bantering back and forth with each other and debating whether it's appropriate or not to make comments like that.
  
  If people were still saying, "She's CRAZY!!!! OMG. I can't believe what a nutty bride she is. Get a life and let your poor FI go to his bachelor party!" that would be a different story. I don't even see anyone saying anything about the original poster anymore.
  
  DIscussion and debate is what makes this place interesting.

  

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• cvl105

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:491214c9-c0e4-4c2a-b959-8a0faa6f44b5">Re: Textbook Bullying</a>:
  [QUOTE] DIscussion and debate is what makes this place interesting.
  Posted by kewltif[/QUOTE]
  
  Agreed.  And this is why this place is boring now...cause we can't even do that.

  ~Chelsea~
  
  
  

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• kewltif member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:aede969e-f6a6-4790-a2f2-0d1b5aaad0cf">Re: Textbook Bullying</a>:
  [QUOTE]jersey girl i do agree with you as well. i think you are probably going to find this board (bored) filled with people who have alot of time on their hands and do get their kicks from being bullies......can't imagine what these people actually DO for a living...and needing the support of "pretend cyber friends."   i find them at times so silly it's like watching a train wreck...just can't help looking! as for advice...you won't get anything worthwhile here...
  Posted by dianenjnj[/QUOTE]
  
  I just find it funny that Jamie finds it necessary to defend a person who says this.

  

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• Lola Minnie member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_textbook-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0a9c6566-29ec-4b6c-8f87-11429e8f470dPost:ef1c7ce4-8f7e-4042-a97f-ab038c9f0b7f">Re: Textbook Bullying</a>:
  [QUOTE]I think at this point people are really just trying to be mean for the sake of it. It's one thing to give advice and quite another to push your opinions and harsh words on someone. I understand that the ladies here get quite a kick out of some of the questions asked here but we're going on three days here. Can we let the issue die? I'm pretty sure she got the "awakening" everyone thought she needed. Lola, this board is for brides, grooms, MOB, MOHs and anyone else involved in the wedding. I've seen Diane be blunt and honest, but her role is no reason for her not to be here.
  Posted by jaimelody[/QUOTE]
  
  I understand your point but Diane trashed all of us, so that is ok?  She was a nasty witch and I don't know about you, I have no intererest in advice from a 50 something year old. 
  
  You really are a little too strong with your "role" of a mod.  Lighten up a bit, huh? We're getting closer to May which is exciting right?!

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