Marrying into a Step-Child

Re: Marrying into a Step-Child

• LuluP82 member

  

  April 2011

  You're still missing a major point here. What do you think getting an agreement in writing will solve? All that's enforceable is the days of visitation. A judge would outline 50/50 custody, the exact days the daughter would be with the mom and the dad, and then who gets to make certain decisions (schools, etc) and that the parents can't move an X amount of distance away from each other without consent.
  
  They're not going to teach your FI how to coparent effectively with the child's mother, and what role YOU should play in the dynamic.
  
  I do think  you should go to the step-parenting course. Not because you're the problem, but because your FI IS the problem, and maybe if you meet others in the same situation, you'll get more clarity on what is and isn't in your control, and perhaps then you can convince your FI to step up.
  
  In my opinion as a step-daugther, and based on friends I have who have step-children and deal with them effectively...your FI needs to majorly step up. The child is at your house to spend time with HIM, her father, not you. If he can't watch her, he needs to ask you nicely if you can, and you can say no, I won't do it because she doesn't listen to me. It's not YOUR job to discipline the child. It's HIS job. You mentioned you can't call  your FI at all hours of the day to do the disciplining..you SHOULD. You shouldn't be alone with her that much anyway.
  
  Think of yourself as more of a fun aunt, and less of a parent. Not your child, not your problem.

  

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