No, you're not stupid. But you are ignorant. I don't know if it's willfully or blindly so, but you are. Your FH is mentally and emotionally abusive. When a bunch of women who don't owe you any sort of sugar coating are telling you to run you should listen.
Several of us (maybe most) have been in abusive relationships and we know what we're talking about. My ex husband didn't become physically abusive until after we were married. I took it for a long time and I will never get that time back, or get rid of the shame of knowing I allowed someone to treat me that way.
You need therapy. I'm not saying that in a "you're a psycho" kind of way, I'm saying it because I mean it. If it's with a religious person that works too. They're qualified to give you sound advice. Talk to someone. That's all I'm saying. Don't end up a statistic.