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How Did You Know He Was The One?
So I was just reading an article that was titled "How I Knew She Was The One" and thought it would make a great topic for this board!
Do you have a specific moment or thing your SO did to made you think "I could really see myself marrying this guy"? Do share!
Do you have a specific moment or thing your SO did to made you think "I could really see myself marrying this guy"? Do share!
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Re: How Did You Know He Was The One?
Plus he always cleans the microwave before my mom visits - KEEPER!
One moment does come to mind, though. It was when I was still in New York and taking long, long walks around Brooklyn to talk to him. It had started raining and I couldn't walk back to my apartment yet; I was standing under an awning. He said something about if he were there, he'd walk in the rain with me. I melted. I told him he had windows into my heart.
/end mushy rhapsodizing!
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I can't go through the whole story leading up to that moment, but a few ladies here know the basics of it, I think. When he said "Don't go" those two words said more than "I love you." "Don't go" said "I just suddenly realized what I have here and what I might lose if I don't grow a pair and stand up for what I want- and what I want is you."
Even DH says that to him, that was equal to a marriage proposal. Asking me to just drop everything and move across the country was huge for such a cautious, level-headed guy. It meant this was it. No turning back. Whatever happened, we were in it together.
Now, after I moved here it wasn't all perfect and we still had some kinks to work out and some stress and some issues. But I didn't doubt that we'd work things out somehow. Even when I told him I would kick him out of our apartment if he didn't come clean to his parents about me living here... I wasn't going to break up with him. I was going to make him sleep in his car, sure. But not break up with him. I knew we'd eventually figure out how to move through our issues.
And we have.
We were "friends" for 4 months, and he kept telling me he was going to break my walls down. December I got really sick. 103.8 fever, he came over to take care of me. Got my bed set up how I was laying on the couch, cold compresses, and stayed until he broke below 101. I realized he was in it for more than the bow chica bow bow... and told him then I would start calling him my bf. He thought I was talking out of my mind from the fever. He came over the next day on his lunch break just to check on me, then that night rushed me to the hosiptal in PA (we're in MD) so I could be with my parents. He didnt leave the er until midnight, hour ride home and up at 445 for work. I knew he was a keeper and not like the others.
my 2012 shelf:
It wasn't until the following summer when I realized that I wanted to marry him. My roommate had gotten hooked on wedding shows (she was leaving ring ads torn out of magazines for her BF... and giving him ultimatums), and I watched them with her once in awhile since my BF was at training all summer for the Marines. We criticized everything, and I thought, "What do I actually LIKE?" So I landed on TheKnot.com, and was like, "Oh, pretty!" (click, copy, paste in a Word doc). Before I knew it, the Word doc had about 5-6 pictures and I realized I had started visualizing getting married to this man. It was a big shocker, and I told him the next time I saw him a few weeks later. And he said, "Oh, that's good. Because I've told the guys in my platoon that you're the woman I'm going to marry." D'awww!
I had been sick for months. Horribly, nastily sick. In and out of doctors offices, on a different medication each week, getting poked and prodded and scanned and misdiagnosed left and right. Things had been in full swing when we started dating, but he had to watch a lot of the downward spiral and go through a lot of the diagnosis process with me.
Finally, about five months into our relationship, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I remember walking out to the parking lot, getting in my car, drove to FI's apartment and just started bawling my eyes out. It was a relief to finally know what was wrong with me, but in the back of my mind somewhere, I just always assumed (whether it was right or not to do so) that whatever was wrong with me would be temporary. They'd figure it out, I'd pop some pills, and it would all be back to normal. I never expected that it would be something that I'd have to handle for the rest of my life.
Every possible horrible thought ran through my head. What if I have to have surgery? How many times will I have to have surgery? Where are the lesions? What if I have them in places that could kill me? Does this mean I'm going to get ovarian cancer? What if I can never have kids? What if I can never have sex and actually enjoy it? God forbid, what if I do have a kid and I pass it on to her? How can I have a daughter knowing I may be handing down this to her?
I sat there on his couch, bawling and bawling, and he just sat next to me and held my hand until I calmed down. I finally did, and I looked at him and said, "I will totally understand if you want to walk away now. This is so unfair to you. I will understand, I promise."
He just looked at me and started laughing. No joke - laughing. Finally he stopped, smiled at me, kissed my forehead and said, "I'm going to say 'for better or for worse, in sickness and in health' to you someday. I may as well start practicing now."
And that's when I met my husband.
"Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons
Planning / Married / Blog
It took some time to work back into things, but eventually we got back together and worked out all of the problems that we had in the past and now were great. We both know that we are going to get married and spend our lives together, now just isn't our time. So we are enjoying the present.
[QUOTE]Oceana, your story made me cry!
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
Yeah...he made me Kraft Mac & Cheese for dinner that night, too. That was right around the time I decided we'd have 2 kids with an option for a third, and we'd practice <em>a lot.</em> :P</div>
"Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons
Planning / Married / Blog
Your guys stories are all so great and sweet.
Mine was also little moments.
Within the first two months of dating he told me he would die for me. That freaked me out because you see never having a boyfriend before and totally sure I was worthless I threw every problem I had at him. (not even kidding, on our first date I told him all the things that were wrong with me and that I wouldn't be changing...
Not true but still) I told him my deep dark secret and he didn't even flinch. But when he told me that I realized he wasn't going to leave and well was he what I really wanted? Yes.
The second huge thing was when we were in LDR for 4 1/2 months while I was in Europe. It was terrible. I was totally insecure and needy. We spent hours on the phone and I wasted a lot of my time being stupid. But despite the numerous fights and tears, he was there for me the entire time. He still loved me even through my painful growing process. He has a lot of girls offer to go out with him while I was gone but he still wanted me even though I was making him miserable. That is when I knew I was going to marry him.
My future without him seems bleak. He makes my life joyful and has helped me grow so much.
One last thing. Every time we fight we always make up and say sorry. I have never had anyone do that before. It makes a world of difference in my life. I love him. It's so simple yet so complicated.
Eh sorry that was long and mushy... hehe
Married! May 27th, 2012
Like others have said, lots of little things that made me realize I would be with him forever, but a couple things made me know for sure. The 1st - I passed out at work (I was a little dehydrated and my blood sugar and blood pressure were low) and they ended up taking me to the ER by ambulance. It happened to be his day off and he was spending the day taking care of things around his apartment and we hadn't planned to see each other that day. He dropped everything and got to the hospital just after the ambulance did - didn't leave my side and stayed with me at my house that night to make sure I was ok.
The 2nd stand out time was Valentine's Day before he proposed. He gave me a necklace that belonged to his mom and was one she wore all the time. She passed away about 8 years ago. I knew he wanted me in his life forever at that point and knew he would propose when he was ready, but I knew he wasn't going anywhere and I didn't want him to go anywhere.
This is cool this post started today - FI and I aren't exchanging wedding presents, but instead we're exchanging notes to each other the night before the wedding that we'll read, alone, just before we go to bed that night (I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it the morning of the wedding) and I just wrote my note to FI yesterday...now I need to go get another tissue.
I was going through a rough spot then. Nothing major: basically, it was my senior year in college, I had decided to turn down med school, and I was having a minor identity crisis and dealing with disappointed parents, etc. He was there for me, completely supportive and free of judgment, the whole time.
Or maybe I should have known when I decided to move back home, and after 5 years of not talking, he IMed me and we just kinda picked up our friendship right where we left it.
But I definitely see where it became apparent, when that friendship grew and grew and I decided I just had to have 10,000 of his babies. (0 so far, but there is still time...)
During my second semester of senior year, I finally came out about the sexual abuse I endured as a kid. Due to the stress of finally admitting to myself and others about what had happened, I suffered some pretty bad Post Traumatic Stress and was unable to physically attend school (I would get panic attacks if I tried.) I stayed home and my school gave me a "tutor" to finish high school - really, I just had someone come to my house once a week to give me the work and expect me to figure it out on my own.
Here's what got me: My FI came to my house EVERY DAY after school to see me. Sometimes he would be there for emotional support, just sit there watching TV with me or talking with me. Other days, he would come over and help me figure out my school work. I'm honestly not sure if I could have made it through that without him.
I think that was the defining moment that made me realize that he was in it for the long haul - and so was I. It's not very often that you have an 18-year-old boy who would rather spend time with his "crazy" GF than party/hang out with friends/whatever 18 year old boys do.
He has admitted that at that time, he also knew he wanted to marry me.
I knew before we even started dating, but it didn't occur to me until about a year later. We had been.. interested in each other to say the least for a while. We work together and I think I had a secret crush on him for two years before we really even started talking. After a lot of back and forth flirting, texting, making plans, canceling plans because I was too nervous, and hanging out in a group setting I finally decided to inquire why he even wanted to see me. His response was "you know that I like you" which seems so simple, but hearing that has never ever made me feel like that before. And a lot of people have told me that. About a year into our relationship we were having some issues and something reminded me of that night, and the gush of emotion I felt. And the emotions I still felt knowing that. And I just knew that I'd never feel that strongly for anyone else. And of course, I now know he loves me, and I love him too, but I think finally actually KNOWING his feelings for me for the first time, without any nervousness, or insinuating, or anything was better than anything else.
I know he's the one now.
So much has changed since then, we've grown up together and started planning out our lives together.
I think us dating during such a critical point in our development (planning careers, education, starting to realize what we want in life...) made us want such similar things. We're connected in that sense.
We're both so much different than we were when we started dating. We loved eachother then, but it's different now. Stronger. More sure. It's almost like I fell in love with him all over again. He's what I want and need in live, and I've realized that over the past year. I guess that's it!
We've been together since I was 16, and sometimes I question if I'm really sure he's "The One." I don't have much to compare him to, but everytime I think of being with somebody else, I seriously doubt if they would be able to love me, care for me, and treat me the way BF does. We also have very similar values and senses of humor - I doubt anyone can match that the way BF does!
He's had so many chances to leave but he's stood beside me and held my hand and encouraged me and helped me get through them and past them. He's never once told me I can't do anything. He has told me to go after my dreams and to make them happen. It sounds super cliche, but he's honestly made me such a better person.
Plus, he's SUPPERRRR hot
Oceana, mine is somewhat similar to yours, and I am actually in the process of figuring out if I have endometriosis as well. I have symptoms and it runs in the family
A month after BF and I started dating, I developed a serious chronic tonsil infection. I had to miss a lot of school and was very boring to him (I'm sure) since I had to stay in bed a lot. We did not know each other that long but he took care of me every day I was sick. He would stay awake while I slept because my throat was so swollen that I would stop breathing for scary lengths of time, he would always wake me up on the verge of tears because he thought I was dying. I would be all sick and delirious, and cry while hugging/thanking him.
I finally got my tonsils out 5 months later in my hometown (3 hours away from BF) and he wasn't able to stay with me. EVERYTHING went wrong with my recovery (including blood pouring out of my head for 30 min. before my mom dragged me to the ER). I was really sick one day and finally able to get to sleep. I woke up to BF with a bouquet of flowers. I said "you aren't supposed to be here", knowing that he needed to be at work. He just said "I love you".
I asked him a few months after that if he was just staring at me until I woke up. He told me that he kissed me while I was sleeping and I woke up. I burst into tears, and since then I can't tell that story without crying. THAT was the moment that I knew I would be with him forever.
TL;DR I was suffering from a bad tonsilectomy recovery, managed to fall asleep, and was woken up by my true love's kiss!