Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
![[Deleted User]](/)
[Deleted User]
member
How long is a wedding ceremony?
This past weekend I attended a wedding of a family member and their ceremony was a 2 hour long Catholic mass all in Latin. I knew it was going to be a Catholic mass, but this just seems really long to me.
I've been to an Indian wedding which has a 3-4 hour long ceremony, but you really weren't expected to sit through the entire ceremony as they had refreshments in the lobby for you. So everyone kind of just went in and out as they pleased.
Is there an amount of time that it too long to expect your guests to sit through? Or no?
I've been to an Indian wedding which has a 3-4 hour long ceremony, but you really weren't expected to sit through the entire ceremony as they had refreshments in the lobby for you. So everyone kind of just went in and out as they pleased.
Is there an amount of time that it too long to expect your guests to sit through? Or no?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How long is a wedding ceremony?
My daughter is having a Catholic wedding 1 hour 15 min at the most. Depending on how many take communion.
I have been to ceremonies where the bride and groom had 5 different readings and 3 different songs sang by family members or friends. I understand wanting to include everyone but it was just ridiculous.
But I guess you are right. I'll just keep that in mind for the future and just remember that I don't have to go.
[QUOTE]Well not counting those weddings who follow traditions, such as traditional Catholic mass weddings, traditional Indian weddings, etc since they aren't long due to the officiant just feeling like drawing it out but because they follow traditional prayers and such, I feel that anything over 30 minutes is too long. <strong>I have been to ceremonies where the bride and groom had 5 different readings and 3 different songs sang by family members or friends. I understand wanting to include everyone but it was just ridiculous.
</strong>Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]
I agree with all of this, especially the bolded. I have been to weddings where the wedding party was almost bigger than the number of guests. it took forever to get everyone down the aisle, and then there were songs, readings, even a speech by the father of the bride at one wedding I went to. Keep that crap for the reception. If you are doing something out of religious culture or tradition that will lengthen the ceremony, then fine.
But, if you are having a basic ceremony, everyone doesn't have to have a "role". It's ok to just let the "role" be "guest" for almost everyone.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
[QUOTE]This is going to sound so cold and I really don't mean it to, I really am putting this out there with a great deal of respect: It would be more than enough for me to sit through a long Catholic wedding Mass. Done it a few times as part of DH's family is Catholic and I knew the deal when my nephew got married last year. I would hate sitting through a 2 hour mass in a language I don't understand. <strong>It is okay, you can send me straight to Hell</strong>, but OMG that would just take my excitement out of the day. I love going to weddings, but gosh that would have turned into a very long 2 hours for me.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]
Then I guess I will be joining you because if I got to the ceremony and then found out that it would be in a different language plus it was going to be 2 hours long I would be whipping out my iPhone and playing angry birds the whole time. I can feel myself burning now!
For a non-denominational wedding, I get a bit irritated if it drags out over thirty minutes. I've been to a couple that had numerous readers, singers, and soloists, and it just felt like overkill. Everyone was shifting in their seats after a bit. The only time a wedding should approach an hour is if it's a religious ceremony, as stated above.
[QUOTE]This is going to sound so cold and I really don't mean it to, I really am putting this out there with a great deal of respect: It would be more than enough for me to sit through a long Catholic wedding Mass. Done it a few times as part of DH's family is Catholic and I knew the deal when my nephew got married last year.<strong> I would hate sitting through a 2 hour mass in a language I don't understand.</strong> It is okay, you can send me straight to Hell, but OMG that would just take my excitement out of the day. I love going to weddings, but gosh that would have turned into a very long 2 hours for me.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]
I was raised Catholic and I completely agree with this - and you shouldn't feel bad! That was one of the main changes that came out of Vatican II in the 1960's - that masses wouldn't have to be exclusively in Latin anymore. I'm not sure what the rationale would be these days for someone to hold a wedding mass in Latin......but I would definitely be annoyed if I ended up at that ceremony!
I've been to a ton of Catholic mass weddings and most of them have been around 45 minutes. I guess I was just really surprised and obviously bored because I couldn't understand a thing.
I guess I was also put off by the fact that it was a semi-outdoor wedding (under a tent) in Pennsylvania in the middle of October. We all wore jackets while eating dinner.
It was a long day.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How long of a ceremony is too long? : Then I guess I will be joining you because if I got to the ceremony and then found out that it would be in a different language plus it was going to be 2 hours long I would be whipping out my iPhone and playing angry birds the whole time. I can feel myself burning now!
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]
I can understand being bored/irritated by a ceremony in Latin, but I would like to clarify that even Latin masses have the readings, psalms, and homily in English. And the marriage vows would be in English too. These are the most important parts... so you would understand them.
The Latin is mostly the prayers, and some of the hymns. Just sayin'.
SaveSave
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How long of a ceremony is too long? : <strong>Then I guess I will be joining you </strong>because if I got to the ceremony and then found out that it would be in a different language plus it was going to be 2 hours long I would be whipping out my iPhone and playing angry birds the whole time. I can feel myself burning now!
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>well, at least I will be in good company. We could talk about NYU girl and black MOB dresses while we are there.
</div>
I'm glad I'm not the only one who found this to be a little off putting.
Ex: DH and I are in large Catholic families. They know to expect an hour long ceremony.
When his cousin decided to have a Catholic Mass in the long form for his wedding, we knew that it was going to be long. If they opted for something long to be cool and not meaningful, I think we'd feel differently.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How long of a ceremony is too long? : well, at least I will be in good company. We could talk about NYU girl and black MOB dresses while we are there.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>HA! Ahhh, I will be there, too. </div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How long of a ceremony is too long? : HA! Ahhh, I will be there, too.
Posted by willywally5[/QUOTE]
<div>so that would save me from asking, "Willy!! Where the Hell have you been?", right?</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How long of a ceremony is too long? : so that would save me from asking, "Willy!! Where the Hell have you been?", right?
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Yes! I'm still around some. Busy, busy, busy. </div>
[QUOTE]I would refuse a ceremony that long if I was the bride. I almost passed out up there and our ceremony was 18 minutes. Just don't have that kind of stamina for standing/kneeling/being stared at in a ginormous dress.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]
Our ceremony's going to be pretty long (Episcopalian). We'll be sitting down for some of it, particurally the readings and the communion.
As a guest, I would be prepared for no more than a 90 minute ceremony -- unless I knew it was an Indian, which I'd expect to last hours.
[QUOTE]kmmssg - I would be right there with you. I'm even a "non-practicing" Catholic. I've attended masses all over the world, so not knowing the language would not bother me. As a Catholic I could figure out where I was. 2 Hours? My self-diagnosed ADD kicks in about 30 minutes in. 2 hours would kill me. <strong>On another note - I'm surprised at a 2 hours under a tent Catholic Mass, in Latin none the less. Those NOT common at all.</strong>
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]
ditto this. Most catholic churches won't even do outside ceremonies; and I've never been to a Latin mass, but I've been to Spanish masses and they were the same ~1hr of english. I don't have any problem with longer ceremonies if it's religious tradition; we had a full Catholic mass with eucharist; but to stretch a Catholic mass to two hours I've gotta imagine that there were a TON of guests so communion took a long time and I'd also think the priest probably rambled for a WHILE during the homily. I don't have a lot of patience for rambly homilies....
not sure why it would be 2 hours unless they incorporated other elements like the unity candle, flowers for mary, etc.
and as others said, the readings, homily, vows are all in english and booklets are provided. i prefer the mass in latin, its what i grew up with. there are things that are different between the two but you would really have to know and understand both the latin mass and the english mass to "get it".
religious ceremonies tend to be on the longer side as there are many things that need to be incorporated as part of the ceremony. that said, civil ceremonies IMO should be 20-30 mins max. anything more than that its usually just filler that the couple puts in to make hte ceremony seem longer or more meaningful based upon their beliefs. i went to one tho where the ceremony was only about 2 minutes. they just did the JP vows and nothing more. that was really too short.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How long of a ceremony is too long? : Then I guess I will be joining you because if I got to the ceremony and then found out that it would be in a different language plus it was going to be 2 hours long I would be whipping out my iPhone and playing angry birds the whole time. I can feel myself burning now!
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>omg could not agree with you two more! I am all for tradition but i have noticed that some of my less religious friends decided their wedding was gonna be the day for a 2 plus hour ceremony... like my buddy who has not been to a church in like 15 years and decided a 2 hour catholic mass was a great idea as we stood there the whole time in the ugliest bridesmaid shoes in creation...</div><div>
</div><div>i think my head just went up in flames lol</div>
[QUOTE]I've been to a ton of Catholic mass weddings and most of them have been around 45 minutes. I guess I was just really surprised and obviously bored because I couldn't understand a thing. I guess I was also put off by the fact that it was a semi-outdoor wedding (under a tent) in Pennsylvania in the middle of October. We all wore jackets while eating dinner. It was a long day.
Posted by I Heart Wine[/QUOTE]
I believe I was at this wedding too - can't imagine two weddings with a Latin Mass ceremony followed by a tent reception in PA in one weekend!