Should I or shouldn't I RIP my former BM former friend a new one.....

Re: Should I or shouldn't I RIP my former BM former friend a new one.....

• dori851 member

  

  March 2012

  I wouldn't go off on her. That won't do anything but make you more mad, make her more upset, & it probably won't solve anything. You two will probably be in the same situation, if not a worse one if you go off on her.
  
  Honestly, I'd politely ask her for your money back because you've waited so long to receive them & they told you that you'd have them by now & you don't. I would definitely be going with your back-up plan at this point since it's getting down to the wire.

  

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• AurorasEnvy

  

  March 2012

  I agree with Dori.  I'd set a drop dead date where she either needs to give you the invites or refund your money.  I'd send her a very straightforward e-mail.  Like,

  
  

  "Dear Friend,

  
  

  I know you've been working on the invites, but I need them by March Xth at the absolute latest.  Otherwise, I'll need a refund of the money I paid you to do them because I will need to order other invitations in order to get them mailed out in time.  Please let me know either way.

  
  

  You name"

  
  

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• mancila60

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_should-i-or-shouldnt-i-rip-my-former-bm-former-friend-a-new-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:d941b24d-48aa-4730-9317-f5ecb4a05eebPost:7b457d92-2d12-4869-be38-5eba678a353f">Re: Should I or shouldn't I RIP my former BM former friend a new one.....</a>:
  [QUOTE]I agree with Dori.  I'd set a drop dead date where she either needs to give you the invites or refund your money.  I'd send her a very straightforward e-mail.  Like, <strong>"Dear Friend, I know you've been working on the invites, but I need them by March Xth at the absolute latest.  Otherwise, I'll need a refund of the money I paid you to do them because I will need to order other invitations in order to get them mailed out in time.  Please let me know either way. You name"
  </strong>Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]
  
  This 100%. Also I would start getting that back up plan together!

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• vineyard12

  

  March 2012

  I agree with the others. I would politely tell her that you need them by March X or you want your money back. If she doesn't comply, you may need to just drop it and order something else so you can get your invites out. You may want to try and have a rational conversation with her. I would kill her with kindness, even though I know that's not what you want to do. But, sometimes we just have to be the bigger person and being sickly sweet might get you more honey. Being angry at her is just going to make it worse.

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• mandydc0509 member

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_should-i-or-shouldnt-i-rip-my-former-bm-former-friend-a-new-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:d941b24d-48aa-4730-9317-f5ecb4a05eebPost:aee1836e-5d7d-41d6-a585-8ae9d32b326e">Re: Should I or shouldn't I RIP my former BM former friend a new one.....</a>:
  [QUOTE]I agree with the others. I would politely tell her that you need them by March X or you want your money back. If she doesn't comply, you may need to just drop it and order something else so you can get your invites out. You may want to try and have a rational conversation with her. I would kill her with kindness, even though I know that's not what you want to do. But, sometimes we just have to be the bigger person and being sickly sweet might get you more honey. Being angry at her is just going to make it worse.
  Posted by vineyard12[/QUOTE]
  
  All of this.

  

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• amandad18

  

  March 2012

  I agree that polite would be the most constructive way to go.

  
  

  But MAN- She freaking sucks. So sorry you're having to deal with her

  

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• TheFutureMrsB81 member

  

  March 2012

  I'm sorry you're going thru this. I'm going thru similar junk with my MOH and paying me back for her dress. It's drama and she's lucky I'm still even acknowledging hat she exists at this point.
  
  Anyways, I totally agree with PP's. Tell her you need them by  so and so and then just work on your back up if she doesn't deliver by then. No need to get upset about a happy occasion in your life!

  My Bio
  
  

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• mandi921vh member

  

  March 2012

  I agree with PPs, at this point ask for your money back and go elsewhere. If you go all crazy on her it will only make the situation worse.

  

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• littleshrink member

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_should-i-or-shouldnt-i-rip-my-former-bm-former-friend-a-new-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:d941b24d-48aa-4730-9317-f5ecb4a05eebPost:7b457d92-2d12-4869-be38-5eba678a353f">Re: Should I or shouldn't I RIP my former BM former friend a new one.....</a>:
  [QUOTE]I agree with Dori.  I'd set a drop dead date where she either needs to give you the invites or refund your money.  I'd send her a very straightforward e-mail.  Like, "Dear Friend, I know you've been working on the invites, but I need them by March Xth at the absolute latest.  Otherwise, I'll need a refund of the money I paid you to do them because I will need to order other invitations in order to get them mailed out in time.  Please let me know either way. You name"
  Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]
  
  This is what I would do.  I might even go a step further and just go with your backup plan so that you don't start stressing yourself out with having to crunch to get your invitations moving. 

  Time of our lives

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• ladychambers83 member

  

  March 2012

  I wouldn't even give her another deadline for the invites... She's already exceeded her time for getting them to you. Ask for the money and set a deadline for that or let judge judy deal with it

  

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• SunshineShades member

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_should-i-or-shouldnt-i-rip-my-former-bm-former-friend-a-new-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:d941b24d-48aa-4730-9317-f5ecb4a05eebPost:99b4da77-ff35-44b0-93ff-1c6f32da7cd8">Re: Should I or shouldn't I RIP my former BM former friend a new one.....</a>:
  [QUOTE]I wouldn't even give her another deadline for the invites... She's already exceeded her time for getting them to you. Ask for the money and set a deadline for that or let judge judy deal with it
  Posted by ChocolateFlav17[/QUOTE]
  
  This

  

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• JustinandLeeann member

  

  March 2012

  Agreed! Deal with it like you would any other vendor. Tell her she is past deadline and needs to deliverer now or give your money back. Sorry to hear the BM is being so lame, but try not to get emotional when dealing with her, that will only make the situation worse.

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