Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!

ohheymorganlynn · July 2012

Hi everyone:),
I'll be turning 18 in a few months and my boyfriend and I have been talking about engagement. We've been together two years (I know what you're thinking, 18, you've only been together two years), but honestly, when you know, you know. This isn't another high school infatuation, we know this is what we want.
My problem is, I'll (most likely) still be a senior in high school when he proposes, and I'm concerned about what people will say. I know, who cares, right? But I've seen other girls get engaged in high school and I thought they were absolutely ridiculous... No way it would last. But then I realized I was in their situation... I know I shouldn't care, because it's OUR love, but it still concerns me that people will constantly tell me that I'm too young and making a mistake...

Any advice:)? Please help!

Also, congrats on your marriage/ engagement!

IrishDreamer · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:76c87979-6dc7-492d-891b-1d025cefffd7">Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone:), I'll be turning 18 in a few months and my boyfriend and I have been talking about engagement. We've been together two years (I know what you're thinking, 18, you've only been together two years), but honestly, when you know, you know. This isn't another high school infatuation, we know this is what we want. My problem is, I'll (most likely) still be a senior in high school when he proposes, and I'm concerned about what people will say. I know, who cares, right? But I've seen other girls get engaged in high school and I thought they were absolutely ridiculous... No way it would last. But then I realized I was in their situation... I know I shouldn't care, because it's OUR love, but it still concerns me that people will constantly tell me that I'm too young and making a mistake... Any advice:)? Please help! Also, congrats on your marriage/ engagement!
Posted by ohheymorganlynn[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>*headdesk*</div><div>
</div><div>I was 19 when I got married the first time. We had been together for over a year and a half. We were married for 4 years. Not the smartest thing I've ever done.</div><div>
</div><div>All I'm gonna say. You are going to do what you want, regardless of what we say. To each his/her own, but I think there is no real point in getting married that young. I am soooo not the person I was back then, and neither is he. You need to think about these things. College changes people, life changes people. </div><div>
</div><div>Just sayin'.
<div>
</div></div>

IrishDreamer · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:bd3db8a8-015d-4729-a0fe-8f034241af28">Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]We aren't getting married until I'm out of college, I'll be 20-21
Posted by ohheymorganlynn[/QUOTE]

<div>If you're going to be a senior in high school at 18 - how do you plan on graduating by the time you're 20/21?

Also, there is a big difference between 20/21 and 24/25. </div>

SKP82 · July 2012

In Response to<strong> </strong><a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:76c87979-6dc7-492d-891b-1d025cefffd7"><strong>Too Young</strong>? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone:), I'll be turning 18 in a few months and my boyfriend and I have been talking about engagement. We've been together two years (I know what you're thinking, 18, you've only been together two years), but honestly, when you know, you know. This isn't another high school infatuation, we know this is what we want. My problem is, I'll (most likely) still be a senior in high school when he proposes, and I'm concerned about what people will say. I know, who cares, right? But I've seen other girls get engaged in high school and I thought they were absolutely ridiculous... No way it would last. But then I realized I was in their situation... I know I shouldn't care, because it's OUR love, but it still concerns me that people will constantly tell me that I'm too young and making a mistake... Any advice:)? Please help! Also, congrats on your marriage/ engagement!
Posted by ohheymorganlynn[/QUOTE]

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/11/d7bba18c-06ef-4e1d-9bcc-bcf7a184bb90.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/11/d7bba18c-06ef-4e1d-9bcc-bcf7a184bb90.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

IrishDreamer · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:dd8018ce-3cd5-492c-b1e0-24d38c8ee1cb">Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Too Young ? Read Please- Need Advice! :
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]
Skp - I love you <3 That is all

ohheymorganlynn · July 2012

It's my college program- that's how.
That isn't my question.

People that are 35 get engaged after six months of knowing eachother. We've been togetehr two years. We're the most mature people I know.
How about you review my question:
" My problem is, I'll (most likely) still be a senior in high school when he proposes, and I'm concerned about what people will say. I know, who cares, right? But I've seen other girls get engaged in high school and I thought they were absolutely ridiculous... No way it would last. But then I realized I was in their situation... I know I shouldn't care, because it's OUR love, but it still concerns me that people will constantly tell me that I'm too young and making a mistake..."

Thanks

thejucheidea · July 2012

http://api.ning.com/files/j72*w9IMUQ8Coct0Kw571Ny4EsnJFeTgwPAhtolZ6ebs-ABKUKcQ4qF4yGffGzb4Nm7ZVtpjZxirSx57SjnpVMt6SYXIH1rD/PrinceWat.gif

RWS2011 · July 2012

ohheymorganlynn, welcome to the internet. On it, you post something, and then strangers reply however they want to given the information you provided.

The fact that the ONLY thing you are worried about with regards to getting engaged right now is what other people will think/say, suggests you may not yet be ready to marry. There is no rush, you can still date through college and see how you both feel when you graduate.

SKP82 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:55010178-4ff4-49d1-9412-dae0daf9ca1c">Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]It's my college program- that's how. That isn't my question. People that are 35 get engaged after six months of knowing eachother. We've been togetehr two years.<strong> We're the most mature people I know.</strong> How about you review my question: " My problem is, I'll (most likely) still be a senior in high school when he proposes, and I'm concerned about what people will say. I know, who cares, right? But I've seen other girls get engaged in high school and I thought they were absolutely ridiculous... No way it would last. But then I realized I was in their situation... I know I shouldn't care, because it's OUR love, but it still concerns me that people will constantly tell me that I'm too young and making a mistake..." Thanks
Posted by ohheymorganlynn[/QUOTE]

Srsly? Maybe you should expand your social connections...

And yes, I would think it was ridiculous if you got engaged as an 18-year-old highschooler, even if you had been dating your BF for two looooong years.

Just wait. If he's the one, he'll still be around when you graduate college.

This is the only instance in which I would suggest a promise ring, as those are for highschoolers.

SKP82 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:43d391ca-d080-4eae-a7e3-ce4b8188a660">Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice! : Skp - I love you <3 That is all
Posted by IrishDreamer[/QUOTE]

A<a href="http://www." rel="nofollow">www.</a> I <3 you too. :)

peekaboo2011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:55010178-4ff4-49d1-9412-dae0daf9ca1c">Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]It's my college program- that's how. That isn't my question. People that are 35 get engaged after six months of knowing eachother. We've been togetehr two years. We're the most mature people I know. How about you review my question: " My problem is, I'll (most likely) still be a senior in high school when he proposes, and I'm concerned about what people will say. I know, who cares, right? But I've seen other girls get engaged in high school and I thought they were absolutely ridiculous... No way it would last. But then I realized I was in their situation... I know I shouldn't care, because it's OUR love, but it still concerns me that people will constantly tell me that I'm too young and making a mistake..." Thanks
Posted by ohheymorganlynn[/QUOTE]

<div>That's because you ARE too young. I'm sorry, but I'm going to flat out tell you that.</div><div>
</div><div>You are going to change SO much between now and when you graduate college. You are going to have SO MANY experiences during college. I don't care what you say. You aren't going to be the same person. You will be completely different than you are now. And that's simply a fact.</div><div>
</div><div>Tell me, what the HELL is the point in getting engaged when you have no plans on getting married for 3 years? If you know that this is the person you're going to spend your life with, wouldn't it make more sense to wait until you're financially ready to plan a wedding?</div><div>
</div><div>An engagement isn't just about a wedding. You're preparing for a marriage. Wouldn't it make so much more sense to be on your own, to pay your own bills, to live alone/together/whatever before you make a LIFE commitment at the age of EIGHTEEN?</div>

IrishDreamer · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:0cfbcc7a-d84b-421e-875d-937ed9f77d4d">Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]ohheymorganlynn, welcome to the internet. On it, you post something, and then strangers reply however they want to given the information you provided. <strong>The fact that the ONLY thing you are worried about with regards to getting engaged right now is what other people will think/say, suggests you may not yet be ready to marry</strong>. There is no rush, you can still date through college and see how you both feel when you graduate.
Posted by RWS2011[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div><div>
</div><div>Plusalso, I was asking about your college program, because my point was, COLLEGE CHANGES PEOPLE. </div><div>
</div>

SKP82 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:55010178-4ff4-49d1-9412-dae0daf9ca1c">Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]It's my college program- that's how. That isn't my question.<strong> People that are 35 get engaged after six months of knowing eachother. </strong>We've been togetehr two years. We're the most mature people I know. How about you review my question: " My problem is, I'll (most likely) still be a senior in high school when he proposes, and I'm concerned about what people will say. I know, who cares, right? But I've seen other girls get engaged in high school and I thought they were absolutely ridiculous... No way it would last. But then I realized I was in their situation... I know I shouldn't care, because it's OUR love, but it still concerns me that people will constantly tell me that I'm too young and making a mistake..." Thanks
Posted by ohheymorganlynn[/QUOTE]

People who are 35 and get married have <strong>17 more years of life experience</strong> than you do and probably know what they want a lot sooner than an 18-year-old would.

Why are you even on TK??

IrishDreamer · July 2012

Really, what part of I did this already did you not see in my earlier post?

I'm not saying these things to be a royal b!tch, or to rain on your parade. I'm trying to help other girls not make the same mistakes I did.

You are young, and right now if all you are worried about is what people will think? = BAD IDEA. If he's really and truly the one, than waiting won't change that. Experience life, fvck shiiiit up, do something crazy - why make that kind of commitment when you are 18??? It doesn't compute - and if I had the chance, I'd kick myself in the assss a hundred times.

My mistakes have made me a better person, but at the same time part of me wonders how much different my life would be if I hadn't had my head up my asss.

jaycee7389 · July 2012

Your "problem" is that you're worried what people are going to think about you being engaged in HS. I'm pretty sure you answered your own question. If you came in here worried about something a little more "mature" I might have given you a different response.

dflint · July 2012

When I was eighteen, my FI and I had been together for three years. We went through college together, and now we're getting married next year (before we take off for a new pad 3000 miles away).

I understand where you're coming from.

I knew I was going to marry him when I was in high school, but the problem is, no one will take you seriously, no matter what. It can get frustrating, because nothing you say or do will change their minds. You've got to stop worrying about it, though. We decided to wait (even for an engagement), because we realized we were doing it for the validation (for them, not us).

The thing is, it only matters that you know your relationship is legit.

If you aren't planning on getting married until you're out of college, I would just wait on the engagement. Not because I think you won't last, but because a long engagement like that only serves the purpose of validating your relationship to other people. No one needs three years to plan a wedding.

As far as dealing with other people, you're just going to have to deal with the sideward glances. Most people think about where they were at your age and giggle. It isn't fair, it's condescending, but there really isn't anything you can do but age.

I'm sorry that I don't have any better advice!

peekaboo2011 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:c3a01f9b-1066-4a79-934d-dcc5563c4de9">Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice! : People who are 35 and get married have 17 more years of life experience than you do and probably know what they want a lot sooner than an 18-year-old would. <strong>Why are you even on TK??</strong>
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

<div>BECAUSE SHE IS IN LURRRRRRRVE AND A SPESHUL SNOWFLAKEEEEEEE AND WANTS TO PLAN HER WEDDDDDINGGGZZZZ NAOOOOOOO</div>

SKP82 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:683a8a23-e2eb-450b-b60e-5928b57cb384">Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice! : BECAUSE SHE IS IN LURRRRRRRVE AND A SPESHUL SNOWFLAKEEEEEEE AND WANTS TO PLAN HER WEDDDDDINGGGZZZZ NAOOOOOOO
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

Oh. Oh yeah.

Elle1036 · July 2012

Why the rush, OP?

I don't doubt that you're in love with your boyfriend, but I can't think of a single good reason for you to get engaged and married before you can legally celebrate that wedding with a glass of champagne.

swinginsal08 · July 2012

First of all, I'm happy for you.: You're marrying before having a kid, which is the best way to go.: Second, its not my place to judge. It depends on maturity and not always age. My Mom married at 19 and shes been married for 31 years.: Just be prepared for married life. Talk to tote boyfriend a lot about what you both think marriage is all about. Be open and honest with each other..,: Congrats on your future engagement.: I'm 22 and me and my boyfriend have been together nearly a year and we've discussed marriage a lot as well.: Just build your relationship up and prepare for your future. Save money so you'll have enough.:

K Everdeen12 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:cd757861-af1f-40db-9c14-64cefe7a0fc0">Re:Too Young? Read Please Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all, I'm happy for you.: <strong>You're marrying before having a kid, which is the best way to go.: <em>Second, its not my place to judge.</em></strong><em> </em>It depends on maturity and not always age. My Mom married at 19 and shes been married for 31 years.: Just be prepared for married life. Talk to tote boyfriend a lot about what you both think marriage is all about. Be open and honest with each other..,: Congrats on your future engagement.: I'm 22 and me and my boyfriend have been together nearly a year and we've discussed marriage a lot as well.: Just build your relationship up and prepare for your future. Save money so you'll have enough.:
Posted by swinginsal08[/QUOTE]

<div>It's not your place to judge, unless it comes to when people decide to have children. </div>

riahbobiah · July 2012

morganlynn,

I can honestly say that I've been in your shoes. I'm 19 years old, a sophomore in college, and have the option to graduate in 2 years, making me 20/21 by the time I'm out of here. I prety much dated the same guy throughout highschool. We started datig at the end of our sophomore yer, and near the end of my senior year (January), we really started talking about college and our future life together. We talked about where we wanted to live, what we would study, and if we would enter the military or not. And then in March he broke up with me. He started to have feelings for someone else, and felt guilty to like her when he loved me, so he ended it to try and save my heart because for 2 months his feelings did not go away. He never actually dated her, but I dated a few other guys over the summer. Near the end of the summer, we realized that we missed each other, and that our lives kinda sucked without each other. Right now, we plan on getting engaged sometime this year or next year, whenever we have enough money for my ring and dress saved up. Also, our family wants to help us start looking for houses now so we can fix one up and have it renovated by the time were hitched.

Then we plan on getting married when we are 22ish. There is nothing wrong with talking about a marraige or a life together. There is nothing wrong with planning a marraige. Many people argue there's nothing wrong with living together first too. Why not wait one more year and use that time to save up money and really focus on school and jobs? If people ask about your relationship, just say, "We plan on getting engaged next year." They will appriciate that level of maturity. Plus then you have a whole other year to act like a crazy teenager so you don't get cold feet or anxiety about getting married so early in your life.

TL;DR? (My point...)

Relationships can change. It's not going to matter when you get engaged. If you're worried about what people will think, make it a secret engagement. Or just don't get engaged yet. You can get engaged in a year and still do every other part of your lives together in the exact same way... with or without a ring on your finger.

cu97tiger · July 2012

It's pretty easy to be in a two year relationship when the biggest thing you have to worry about is who else will be at the football game on Friday night. OP I am not saying I don't think your relationship is legit. But I'm 35 and I waited four years to marry my husband. If you want your relationship to stand the test of time, I highly suggest you do two things. One, don't get defensive. Think long and hard about what we are all saying. Two, wait to get engaged. You think you have all the answers now, but it will take you five to ten more years for you to figure out that you actually don't. Finally, if you are a few months short of 18 then you are 17. Not 18.

EUhew · July 2012

OP--from personal experience, I can say that it is probably best to wait. I have been with my high school sweetheart since I was 15 years old (I am about to turn 25) and we are just now talking seriously about marriage plans.

It is not that I didn't want to marry him or that we were unsure of our relationship, but we knew we both had a lot of growing up to do. We both went to separate colleges (within the same town), had our own activities and interests, and have had our personal time to grow and figure ourselves out. All the while, we have lived together for the past four years and have had the joy and figuring out life (the good and the bad times) together. While we live and act very much like married couples do, we know that marriage is a serious commitment and wanted to wait till we knew we were both mature enough and ready to tie the knot. I get that "when you know, you know." But if you are so certain about your relationship and so is he, then waiting a few years should not change that, it should strengthen your feelings and commitment, if nothing else.

Life after high school WILL be very different, perhaps give your relationship more time to learn more about each and grow as a couple together. Just my thoughts

SKP82 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:609aa12b-4ed2-48c4-9174-420a8e1afe90">Re:Too Young? Read Please Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Too Young? Read Please Need Advice! : It's not your place to judge, unless it comes to when people decide to have children.
Posted by K Everdeen12[/QUOTE]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_cant-help-but-feel-excited-inside-when-people-mention-the-thought-of-us-marrying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:80f52d94-2f06-4deb-8c74-8bad1f533259Post:9387d591-728b-4ff6-b64f-f0da8459e0a7">Re:Cant help but feel excited inside when people mention the thought of us marrying..</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay first of all, I have plenty of funds in my account right now. I have been saving for a while now. My boyfriend is the most wonderful man I have ever met. <strong>Second, were both Christians who don't believe in living together before marriage. </strong>I love him with everything that I am and I am so incredibly blessed to have him. We are both excited for a future together and yes I am happy when others are happy for me. He is my first ever boyfriend and I don't believe in dating around. I believe in trying to find a future marriage partner as God intended it to be.
Posted by swinginsal08[/QUOTE]

She's a CHRISTIAN, Katniss! Of course she can judge those who have children out of wedlock!

SKP82 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:dd195782-e981-4feb-aa5f-62be931ac805">Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]morganlynn, I can honestly say that I've been in your shoes. I'm 19 years old, a sophomore in college, and have the option to graduate in 2 years, making me 20/21 by the time I'm out of here. I prety much dated the same guy throughout highschool. We started datig at the end of our sophomore yer, and near the end of my senior year (January), we really started talking about college and our future life together. We talked about where we wanted to live, what we would study, and if we would enter the military or not. And then in March he broke up with me. He started to have feelings for someone else, and felt guilty to like her when he loved me, so he ended it to try and save my heart because for 2 months his feelings did not go away. He never actually dated her, but I dated a few other guys over the summer. Near the end of the summer, we realized that we missed each other, and that our lives kinda sucked without each other. Right now, we plan on getting engaged sometime this year or next year, whenever we have enough money for my ring and dress saved up. Also, our family wants to help us start looking for houses now so we can fix one up and have it renovated by the time were hitched. Then we plan on getting married when we are 22ish. There is nothing wrong with talking about a marraige or a life together. There is nothing wrong with planning a marraige. Many people argue there's nothing wrong with living together first too. Why not wait one more year and use that time to save up money and really focus on school and jobs? If people ask about your relationship, just say, "We plan on getting engaged next year." They will appriciate that level of maturity. Plus then you have a whole other year to act like a crazy teenager so you don't get cold feet or anxiety about getting married so early in your life. TL;DR? (My point...) Relationships can change. It's not going to matter when you get engaged.<strong> If you're worried about what people will think, make it a secret engagement. </strong>Or just don't get engaged yet. You can get engaged in a year and still do every other part of your lives together in the exact same way... with or without a ring on your finger.
Posted by riahbobiah[/QUOTE]

Man, ALL the crazies are comin' out tonight!

K Everdeen12 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:d3611aca-2a69-4101-85c5-c987874483ab">Re:Too Young? Read Please Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Too Young? Read Please Need Advice! : In Response to Re:Cant help but feel excited inside when people mention the thought of us marrying.. : She's a CHRISTIAN, Katniss! Of course she can judge those who have children out of wedlock!
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh snap. I guess my parents are awful people then. Damn.</div>

SKP82 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:1e220d64-747d-4e77-a12a-276ea1d7425b">Re:Too Young? Read Please Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Too Young? Read Please Need Advice! : Oh snap. I guess my parents are awful people then. Damn.
Posted by K Everdeen12[/QUOTE]

The WORST.

bethsmiles · July 2012

You should wait. Being young and in love is fun. There is NO reason to get married right out of high school. My BF and I were 18 when we met and started talking about getting married when we were 19 but I'm so glad we've waited. We've gotten to spend 3 (well almost 4 now) amazing years together being pretty care-free and just enjoying college and all the new experiences that come with that. We've both changed in that time and we've been lucky enough that we grew closer together instead of further apart like a lot of young couples do. I am in no way saying that you and your BF will grow apart but you will both change a lot in your early 20s...everyone does. So why rush into marriage (and yes I think that 2 years at 18 is rushing) when you can enjoy dating while you both go to college, find jobs, travel if you get the opportunity, become financially secure, figure out who you are and what you want. THEN decide if you want to make a LIFELONG commitment to someone.

If he is really 'the one' isn't it worth taking your time to everything you can to make sure it lasts? Don't half-ass your relationship...which in my experience is what rushed things usually are.

LilTexasGal · July 2012

OP - You're 17 years old and going into your senior year of high school, and you think you're the most mature people you know. You're more mature than your parents? Your teachers? I seriously don't think so. I'll be honest with you, I didn't take the "engagements" of kids your age seriously in HS. You say "when you know, you know" well that is fine and dandy, but that doesn't mean to have to get engaged rightthissecond. An engagement doesn't magically make your relationship more valid. I knew shortly after I started dating my now-FI that he was the one. When I knew, I knew. 6 months down the road, nope didn't feel like I had to get engaged because he was "the one". One year. Nope. 2 years. Nope. Nearly 5 years down the road we got engaged, and for nearly 5 years I've known he was the one. Do I feel you have to wait 5 years, no... but I can tell you I am a completely different person than I was at 17 and at 17 my taste in guys was a lot different too.

Focus on your senior year. Have fun. You'll only have this one senior year of HS. If your BF is the one, he'll still be there when you're at a time in life to get married. How old is BF anyway?

angelicafarrar · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:76c87979-6dc7-492d-891b-1d025cefffd7">Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone:), I'll be turning 18 in a few months and my boyfriend and I have been talking about engagement. We've been together two years<strong> (I know what you're thinking, 18, you've only been together two years)</strong>, but honestly, when you know, you know. This isn't another high school infatuation, we know this is what we want. My problem is, I'll (most likely) still be a senior in high school when he proposes, and I'm concerned about what people will say. I know, who cares, right? But I've seen other girls get engaged in high school and I thought they were absolutely ridiculous... No way it would last. But then I realized I was in their situation... I know I shouldn't care, because it's OUR love, but it still concerns me that people will constantly tell me that I'm too young and making a mistake... Any advice:)? Please help! Also, congrats on your marriage/ engagement!
Posted by ohheymorganlynn[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Oh OP...</div><div>
</div><div>I was once in your state of mind. I've been with my BF since I was 16 and I thought that marriage was a must right after graduation. I felt like everyone else in the world was out to criticize our relationship and that my level of thought was beyond every other 17/18 year old. But, then I realized that I being completely and utterly stupid. I still wanted to go to college... and that while marriage is ultimately based on love- it requires stability both mentally and financially.</div><div>
</div><div>Why rush to grow up? Embrace life for the next few years. Get to know your BF even more and just enjoy each day, and make sure that marriage is the right decision.</div><div>
</div><div>My suggestion is to at least wait it out for the next few years. If you're dying to have a ring on your finger, maybe a promise ring will suffice? I think that those are very sweet and don't put a lot of pressure on you to focus on a wedding.

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