Military Brides

Confessions...

Anyone got anything good?

I confess I almost started crying yesterday when the whole stadium at my bothers graduation started to sing the national anthem out loud. Ive always loved our national anthem but I think I love it more now that I'm married to someone in the military. Is that lame?

Also, I confess that I don't understand leggings as pants. I saw numerous girls wearing leggings with just a hoodie or t-shirt. Even though they were black, in the sunlight I could see through them. Not a good look, no matter how skinny the girls are.

I also confess that I can't wait for my last day at school. It's really hard to work when someone has been hired for my position. All conversations with other teachers are for the future and I don't really fit in anymore. It sounds lame and I'm scared to not have a pay check but I'm old news at my school and it makes me sad.
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Re: Confessions...

  • edited December 2011
    aww hikey <3 you're not lame for loving the anthem, I love it too. I find the older I get, the more I tear up and I feel so silly for it half the time. 

    also, I'm sad that you feel like old news :( but I'm glad that you're looking forward to your last day, as scary as it may be!

    confession- I am avoiding studying, and I need to get on it. So, after this post, I'm studying!!! (we'll see how that goes). 

    confession- I've been awful about my workouts and the food I'm eating, and that makes me feel like crap and be tired and lazy. It sucks, I need to work out today. I've been better about my food this week, but the less I move, the worse I feel. I think I need to take the bodyrock.tv 12 workouts of christmas challenge. haha. 

    confession- I can't wait to be an old boring married lady. haha. I look forward to some more predictability in my life - right now, I'm only home like 10 days a month- I can't wait to be married, live somewhere with H and not be gone for work so much. I'll have more time home with my dog, more time for my horse, and actually get to see my then DH.

    So, I need to study to finish school. BLAH. It'll be worth it in the end, but it sucks big time right now. 
    wedding1 Anniversary
  • edited December 2011

    I also don't understand leggings as pants!  I love my yoga pants, but don't strut around town in them, and I expect the same respect from other people!  :)

    Confession: I have eaten almost half a bag of hershey kisses this morning (it's only 11:30 here) and have had to hide the remainder of the bag in my co worker's desk so I don't eat the rest!

    Confession:  Sometimes when FI is talking...errr rambling...about work I want to look at him and tell him to stop talking.  Instead I stare blankly, nod occasionally and say "stop talking" over and over again to him in my head. 

    Confession:  My dog has been staying with my parent's for almost 3 weeks and comes back on Friday.  As much as I miss her it has been nice not having to deal with the 3rd member of our household for a few days and wish I could leave her there till Christmas!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker Follow Me on Pinterest "I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it." -Carrie ~ Sex and the City
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Aw, Hike, it must really suck to feel redundant at a job that you've been so passionate about.  I know you've gotten burned out a bit, but I also know how much you loved the kids you've worked with at this job.  It'll all be okay!  I'm sure at first it will be a bit scary to be without a paycheck, but I'm sure it will be a bit liberating, too.

    I confess that I would give up the wedding if it meant I could leave right now.  Leave the job, leave Miami.  I'm just so checked out and done.  109 working days until I can go, 10 more paychecks, 22 more weeks.  No matter how you stack it, it's too much to check out mentally now.  It's slowly eating my soul, and I feel like I'm becoming a bitter negative person.  I put on about 15 pounds since we moved down here, and I have no motivation to get it off, even with the wedding coming.  I just suspended my Crossfit membership because I can't go in the mornings anymore now that we have Sasha - not unless I want to clean up all the poop everywhere when I get home and deal with a completely wrecked panic-stricken puppy all day.  I don't like it much anyway.  I wish I could afford to take dance classes or something, or would have the time for it, because I know I would like that a lot more than Crossfit.  I was doing pole dancing until I couldn't afford it anymore.

    I'm also painfully sick of being broke.  I've got nothing right now except a credit card bill I can't pay more than the minimum on, and random other bills I don't know what to do with right now.  Mentally I equate the end of my time in Miami with the end of being broke, because FI will finally have income after 3 years of living off loans below the poverty line.  It's almost panic-inducing how much I hate being broke.
  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Wow calindi! I'm sorry you're going through that. I know exactly how you feel. We are leaving in January and I'm 110% checked out. I have zero motivation to do anything. Hang in there though, 22 weeks will be over before you know it. 6 months is nothing compared to how long you've already been there.
  • edited December 2011
    Cal, I'm sorry you are so frustrated!  Time can be a friend or an enemy that is for sure!  My friend is facing something similar with being done with a job she hates soon and we made a calendar for her to help count down her time and make it more bearable!  We included silly pictures of her and her H each week giving a thumbs up or something whacky to make her laugh and at the end of every three weeks we get together and have a vent fest and an abundance of wine.  It seems to have helped.  Is there any way to set small goals and rewards to help break the time down a little?  Give you something else to look forward to in the short term...something inexpensive?!  I know the broke feeling :(
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Follow Me on Pinterest "I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it." -Carrie ~ Sex and the City
  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Leggings as pants (or jeggings as pants) can go die in a fire. They are not pants. I will also say just because they make it in your (the inclusive your, not anyone specifically) size, that does not necessarily mean that it's a good or flattering idea.

    Confession: I'm roughly 2 days away from just making Christmas plans and letting the chips fall where they may. If FMIL can't be bothered to get back to me, then it's just see ya when I see ya. FI's pissed, too, and he wants to see his fam, but he doesn't want to drive all over creation. So we'll see.

    Also, I hate packing. Half of my clothes aren't even unpacked, though (heavy winter stuff), so that'll be a bit easier.

    I know that having my wedding in my Mom's hometown, especially now that we'll be about 12 hours from mine, would be easier (my hometown is about 90 mins. from the town my Mom grew up in). My aunts could help, their church isn't undergoing renovations, it's a small town so it's cheaper and we know everyone. But I really hate to ask everyone to drive to this small town where there isn't much to do besides the casino.  Plus, my OOT people who aren't within driving distance or don't have cars would have to fly into my hometown and then rent a car or carpool and drive another hour and a half to my Mom's hometown. And I really hate to ask my friends who still live in my hometown to pick up and drive for the weekend. But in my hometown, I really only have my Dad and my Grannie. I have friends, but no one I could/would want to impose upon to help me out that much. It would be a little more expensive and I'd have to figure out the church stuff. I have to make a decision. Grrrrrrr.
  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Well I do wear yoga pants if I'm quickly going to 7-11 or something but I think yoga pants are different than leggings. My yoga pants are thick. These leggings are like one step above tights.
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Thanks guys.  I'm literally crying here, trying not to, but I haven't really allowed myself to admit all that before.  I think I've been afraid to admit how panic-stricken I am about it all.  I nearly ran out of gas yesterday and had no way to pay for more.  Luckily I made it home and FI gave me $20 out of his $40 for food for this week to pay for gas so I could get to work this week.  It really sucks.
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    And I'm wearing those leggings today.  Beneath a dress because the dress felt too short on its own!  I'd NEVER wear leggings without at least a long butt-covering shirt.
  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b8222eb7-59b6-4eb3-a0f7-ce2b5c09a9ecPost:6423917a-5787-46c7-b216-e107d96ac6cf">Re: Confessions...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks guys.  I'm literally crying here, trying not to, but I haven't really allowed myself to admit all that before.  I think I've been afraid to admit how panic-stricken I am about it all.  I nearly ran out of gas yesterday and had no way to pay for more.  Luckily I made it home and FI gave me $20 out of his $40 for food for this week to pay for gas so I could get to work this week.  It really sucks.
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    I'm so sorry my friend. :-( I'm always panicy about money so I can't even imagine the spot you are in. Hang in the though because soon it'll all be done and over with.
  • edited December 2011
    Confession- I am so over this class I am taking.  I just want it to be done.  I am really just cutting and pasting my final project and don't really care.  I all I want is a C.  That is all. 

    Confession- some students are annoying me to no end.  I am ready for them to head home for the semester.  I am just phyically sitting in my chair until Dec 21 but I am mentally checked out.  I am trying to do as little work as possible. 

    Confession- all I really want to do is sit on the couch and drink wine and watch Christmas movies. 
  • IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Confession: I toyed with the idea of wearing leggings as pants over the weekend!! Then I looked in the mirror and reminded myself that they're not pants. So I took them off.
  • edited December 2011
    Confession: I've eaten like 2 bags of chips in the past 4 days. I eat them while I'm studying :/

    Cal, I'm with you on the being broke. I can only do minimum payments on my card as well right. So stressful
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b8222eb7-59b6-4eb3-a0f7-ce2b5c09a9ecPost:8ef5f85c-82bb-4cf8-aff0-9704d5ab75fd">Re: Confessions...</a>:
    [QUOTE]And I'm wearing those leggings today.  Beneath a dress because the dress felt too short on its own!  I'd NEVER wear leggings without at least a long butt-covering shirt.
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    I think the butt covering is the key!   If more people would cover their toosh when wearing leggings I may be more on board with the idea! 
    I also have to confess that part of the reason I hate leggings is because I don't look good in them and am secretly jealous of people who look cute in them when worn correctly!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Follow Me on Pinterest "I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it." -Carrie ~ Sex and the City
  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Irish- that just made me laugh
  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Oh, C, I've had that job. The slowly eats at your soul but doesn't pay enough to be worth it having panic attacks while driving because the worries spiral. Also the weight gain which makes you feel even worse. I am so sorry that you're feeling like this, but it will get better and you have a timeline.

    I don't have any dog advice that probably wouldn't cost money, but maybe start leaving her for just a few minutes at a time? I know that Archie was nuts the first few times we left him even to go grocery shopping, but he adjusted well. I'm sure you've read all sorts of stuff about it, so I'll just say good luck and I'm here.

    Darrah: I do that same thing (your #2) when FI starts telling a story and then gets bogged down in some sort of off-topic detail. It's like, okay, move it along. Then I feel awful. But I still think it.
  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Confession: I don't understand rap music.
  • edited December 2011
    Confession: I also almost wore leggings as pants today. But, as Irish stated, I was like, ummm no. My butt is wayyyy to big to be doing that ish. I will wear leggings with long stuff (Must be at least past mid thigh). I thought this sweater was more like a sweater dress.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b8222eb7-59b6-4eb3-a0f7-ce2b5c09a9ecPost:24757452-e94c-467b-8648-8118db787cb8">Re: Confessions...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Confession: I don't understand rap music.
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]
    Me either. My older sister loves it and I told her none of it will be played at the wedding haha
  • edited December 2011
    confession: I just went over to said co worker's desk and grabbed another handful of hershey kisses!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Follow Me on Pinterest "I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it." -Carrie ~ Sex and the City
  • edited December 2011
    Confession: I've been avoiding TK because the klictches drive me bananas!

    Confession: Now that I am />< this close to landing a job - H dropped the bomb on me that he prefers me at home as a SAHW. He loves providing, and he has gotten use to me being available, all the chores done etc. Which I understand but it makes me furious that he can't see or understand how unhappy I am not working. I've told him a million times SAHM=/=SAHW and told him I'm unhappy not working but presently all he can see is how nice it is to have me around to do everything. :(
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Shan, I'm sorry he's not understanding.  Have you guys discussed the possibility of hiring a maid?  That way you can get a lot of those chores done around the house since you're both working!
  • IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh Shan, I'm sorry!! I could never SAHW, so I completely understand where you're coming from! I would feel so useless. Maybe he's just resistant to change? I mean, you'll still be able to cook and clean with a job--lots of people do it :) but he might need to pitch in more when he's home--could that be part of the issue? I hope you still pursue the job if it's something you really want for yourself!!
  • edited December 2011
    Also I hope one of our cats can hang on long enough for me to go home and say goodbye. My mom sent me a msg on facebook saying she took our oldest cat Helen (15 years old) to the vet and they think she has cancer :( We already lost a cat this year due to health problems and I didn't get to say goodbye. I don't want her to suffer but I want to be able to say goodbye to her
  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ugh Shan. That's hard. Do you think you'll take the job? Also, WTF happened to manners? I'm in the airport and 4 young men (they look like teenagers) are listening to you tube music videos loud without ear phones. They are singing loudly along with it. Excuse me? This isnt your bar or concert hall. This is a freaking airport. I'm also kinda embarrassed that they all have camo backpacks. I wonder if they could be ROTC?
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b8222eb7-59b6-4eb3-a0f7-ce2b5c09a9ecPost:dbe07236-643a-4cd0-813a-9ca795089f30">Re: Confessions...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ugh Shan. That's hard. Do you think you'll take the job? Also, WTF happened to manners? I'm in the airport and 4 young men (they look like teenagers) are listening to you tube music videos loud without ear phones. They are singing loudly along with it. Excuse me? This isnt your bar or concert hall. This is a freaking airport. I'm also kinda embarrassed that they all have camo backpacks. I wonder if they could be ROTC?
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    Could be or if you are in what airport I think you are in <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /> there is a huge basic training post right there.  They fly in and out all of the time.  Oh and manners are way gone.  Trust me.  I say that all of time. 

    Shan- confession, I am dreading leaving my job.  I might fuss about it some times but the thought of not finding a job scares me to death.
  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Haha you got it Crown! I looked at their backpacks and they are national guard. They still look super young to me though. They sound young too.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b8222eb7-59b6-4eb3-a0f7-ce2b5c09a9ecPost:8155437e-a0e3-42e0-add2-b5c4c110e202">Re: Confessions...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh Shan, I'm sorry!! I could never SAHW, so I completely understand where you're coming from! I would feel so useless. Maybe he's just resistant to change? I mean, you'll still be able to cook and clean with a job--lots of people do it :) but he might need to pitch in more when he's home--could that be part of the issue? I hope you still pursue the job if it's something you really want for yourself!!
    Posted by Irishcurls[/QUOTE]

    I'm still persuing the job. It's still up in the area which position they will offer since it depends on a lot of inter office shifting. There is one or two that I wouldn't take but for the most part I'm very interested.

    It's very reasonable that he is resistent to change. The job will most likely be 2nd or 3rd shift which is bothering him the most. He doesn't want to be on different shifts/schedules which I understand and I don't either, but I think we can make it work since I'll have days off. Moneywise I don't have to work, so he doesn't want me to take a job that doesn't fit perfectly (even if it's within my career).
  • IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh I see....yeah, admittedly the opposite shifts sort of suck, so I can see his point--but  if it's something you really want, then I think it's worth it, personally....
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_confessions-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b8222eb7-59b6-4eb3-a0f7-ce2b5c09a9ecPost:3d1286e9-97e9-4b1b-84ca-8afe2df861b8">Re: Confessions...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Haha you got it Crown! I looked at their backpacks and they are national guard. They still look super young to me though. They sound young too.
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    Every time I fly in/out of that place I always have a few on the flight and they all look like babies.  I mean just really like babies.  Then I think I need to get my hair colored.  HAA
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