I have 1 friend who saved themselves til marraige. It was a cultural thing for her though. She had an arranged marraige. 90 percent of my friends have lived with their SO's before they were even engaged.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:75cc3a2a-d7f1-4f27-9c6f-ddd7082725dd">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]I think whatever works for you, works for you. I'm not fucking either you or your FI, so I don't care what happens or doesn't happen in your bed. What irks the shiit out of me is the idiots who wear their virginity like a badge of courage and mention it all the time. No one's knighting you for your penis-free life. As a matter of fact, no one cares or even needs to know you're saving yourself for marriage unless it comes up in a conversation among close friends. If you are waiting, you just need to be prepared for the unknown. <strong>To declare that bad sex won't affect your relationship is like saying it's just as easy to walk across the country as it is to fly. You can tough it out and complete the walk, but you're going to be exhausted, pissed off and have some serious blisters by the end of it all. </strong>:) Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]
This killed me, almost literally, make me choke on a grape. Best analogy ever.
My friends and I are all slutty, we gave up our V cards a loooong time ago. Only one ended up marrying her first, but they were together since HS. Most of us had sex for the first time in HS or the first year of college. Sex just isn't seen as a big deal in our circle, we're responsible and careful and all that, but I don't know that any of us see an issue with sleeping with someone we're dating... or that we met at a bar earlier that night.
ETA: I also believe in kissing on the first date. If the person's a bad kisser, why bother with a second date lol.
Arizona has a large Mormon population, so I know a lot of people who waited until marriage (and, not surprisingly, married young).
Personally, I couldn't care less what other people choose to do or choose not to do with their own bodies, but I find those who advertise and vehemently defend their choice supremely annoying. For some reason (most likely my own issues), this is especially true if the reason happens to be religious in nature. Even if I believed in God, I would have a REALLY hard time believing that God cares about where you've taken it / put it. Sex before marriage is "taboo" because it screws with patrilineal inheritance, not because some supposedly all-present, all-knowing extraterrestrial being cares if you've crossed an imaginary line (that ends somewhere below the mouth, apparently *cough*).
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:42d5e257-3a21-4dd1-9e32-3fcf2c09b9ab">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]Arizona has a large Mormon population, so I know a lot of people who waited until marriage (and, not surprisingly, married young). Personally, I couldn't care less what other people choose to do or choose not to do with their own bodies, but I find those who advertise and vehemently defend their choice supremely annoying. For some reason (most likely my own issues), this is especially true if the reason happens to be religious in nature. Even if I believed in God, I would have a REALLY hard time believing that God cares about where you've taken it / put it. Sex before marriage is "taboo" because it screws with patrilineal inheritance, not because some supposedly all-present, all-knowing extraterrestrial being cares if you've crossed an imaginary line (that ends somewhere below the mouth, apparently *cough*). Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]
We didn't wait, and I never had any intention of waiting until marriage. I think I've got a pretty detached view of sex though. I hate the term "making love." It's more like-pushing the right buttons.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:5aecbe45-9320-4642-aa89-e8b9a3ce751f">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]We didn't wait, and I never had any intention of waiting until marriage. I think I've got a pretty detached view of sex though. I hate the term <strong>"making love."</strong> It's more like-pushing the right buttons. Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]
Vom! Tim used that phrase once. I just started laughing my ass off.
No. I didn't wait (I've been married once before).. seems a bit pointless after that I guess. FI and I are holding off until the wedding now though for a couple different reasons.
My little sister will probably wait, or become a nun. Seriously.
One of my friends in college proclaimed herself a virgin, and said she was waiting, but was the biggest BJ slut I had even heard of. To her that didn't count. Whatever. Intimacy is Intimacy in my book.
I waited until I was ready, and they guy really didn't matter at that point. He was nice about it. I hung out with him for about a month or so after that and I've never seen him again. I'm ok with that.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:31c4d8f9-3436-4063-aa68-64abd30a9022">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : WOW!! That seems like a high pg rate. I went to a private Catholic all-girl's school. Biggest sluts ever. But only one pg. And it was weird; the administration & teachers all knew but it was a big secret. She hid it well and then wasn't able to graduate with us b/c of it. Stupid. Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]
Those are just the ones I know personally. There's another 15 that I only kind of know. And our graduating class was only 250 people. It's like they all decided that being pregnant was "like, totally aweosme, and we should all do it!".
Any, my HS was the same. I knew at least 20 girls who got pregnant in HS, and my grad class was only 107. They weren't all in my class, though. One of them's little sister had a baby in 8th grade, a year after the older sister had one as a sophomore. My mom proposed to buy them all televisions, because they must be really bored at home.
There were a good amount on my month board. But no, I wasn't one. H and I lived together for almost 3 years before our wedding and we were not each others' firsts.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:ffa90d32-1c2b-4efd-b591-99d417e01200">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]Any, my HS was the same. I knew at least 20 girls who got pregnant in HS, and my grad class was only 107. They weren't all in my class, though. One of them's little sister had a baby in 8th grade, a year after the older sister had one as a sophomore. <strong>My mom proposed to buy them all televisions, because they must be really bored at home</strong>. Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]
Lol! Yeah, sadly but not surprisingly, these were almost exclusively the girls who were snorting coke and getting wasted every weekend. Guess it's hard to figure out birth control when you're pooping on someone's floor.
My HS was the same. I had 99 in my graduating class and I can name about 8 that were pregnant. Some walked, some didn't - surprisingly enough, the school left it up to them.
An acquaintance of my dad's got married for the second time when she was in her 40s. 2 teenage kids, and the guy she married had older kids too ... and both my dad's friend and her now husband are born again Christians and they waited to have sex until they were married and didn't live together until marriage either. I don't get it.
I have two friends waiting until marriage and one that waited until she was 28 then decided she didn't want to wait any longer. My close friend, who is like a sister to me is six years younger. I think her main reason for waiting is because both her sister and I had children very young, so she knows what life can be like for young parents.
One couple has been with other people, live together now, but won't have sex until they are married.
The Third is one of my best friends as well. She has never had a real serious relationship and was waiting for "the one" after turning 28 last year she decided that she wasn't waiting for the one anymore and went at it with a guy she dated for a few months. She says she could have waited longer, but feels like a lot of guys would get scared off after the third or fourth date when she would reveal she was a virgin. Then the guy she did sleep with didn't want anything to do with her anymore. I kinda feel bad for her sometimes.
When I got knocked up and engaged one month, our church pastor told us we shouldn't have sex again until we were married. I asked him why, as obviously the jig was up at that point. WTF?
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:e0ce87b2-beb6-4888-9bc2-cecd9566ee30">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : H and I were at a wedding over the summer that was laced with information about the couples sex life and waiting until marriage to do anything. It was really uncomfortable and the majority of the people there were looking around like "Wait, did the pastor really just say all that?" I agree that it's personal and unnecessary to announce during the wedding ceremony or anywhere else for that matter. Posted by shaydenise[/QUOTE]
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:0d7bbe3c-f0ce-4904-b978-6d9fbab299f1">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]I don't know any virgins... Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]
I'm originally from Idaho and currently live in Utah. It's not exactly uncommon around here given the high LDS population. In my circle I'm actually in the minority for NOT waiting.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:64a4bdbb-165e-410f-b1e5-ed5c437c2a1a">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE] ETA: I also believe in kissing on the first date. If the person's a bad kisser, why bother with a second date lol. Posted by kcullen37[/QUOTE]
I wish I had adopted this philosphy when I started dating - it would have saved me from one very bad relationship. lol
I'm a "virgin" however I've done more than just kiss. I know its absolutely hypocritical but I was the goody goody church mouse...after having "VIRGIN TIL MARRIAGE" beaten into your head your whole life, its kind of hard to shake it, even though I'm not sure I consider myself a Christian now. The way I look at it - yes I've probably already crossed "God's line" or whatever, but if it doesn't bother me its ok. FWIW none of my friends are virgins, but they all waited until they were with their current SO/H.
Also, FI has this extreme fear that I'm going to get knocked up the first time we do it if it happens before we get married - despite the fact that I'm on the pill and he'd be using protection too. I mean I know that's a 1% probability but he's absolutely terrified....I think he's afraid of disappointing his family (even though both his grandmother's were pg when they got married).
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:75cc3a2a-d7f1-4f27-9c6f-ddd7082725dd">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]I think whatever works for you, works for you. I'm not fucking either you or your FI, so I don't care what happens or doesn't happen in your bed. What irks the shiit out of me is the idiots who wear their virginity like a badge of courage and mention it all the time. No one's knighting you for your penis-free life. As a matter of fact, no one cares or even needs to know you're saving yourself for marriage unless it comes up in a conversation among close friends. Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]
All of this.
Evidently I know a surprisingly large number of people who waited.
A bunch of college friends and I were at a wedding and the MOH's toast was about how touched (pun intended) and proud she was of the bride and groom for "not giving in to temptation." She went on and on and on about it and even cried. Meanwhile, my whole table was desperately trying not to laugh like hyenas. We knew bride was definitely not a virgin and she was very in touch with her sexuality in our college days. She was our RA when we were freshman and she showed us her vibrator and explained to us how to use it during sex.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:1563cf75-00dc-4221-8310-f7e0ec47a1d8">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]When I got knocked up and engaged one month, our church pastor told us we shouldn't have sex again until we were married. I asked him why, as obviously the jig was up at that point. WTF? Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]
Ha!
PSA: guys who don't have sex are really good at oral. I'm still really confused about that guy . . . I hope he and the big guy upstairs got things worked out.
i'm sure they did, MFJ. That's the thing with JC. Having sex before marriage is like talking shiit about your neighbor. All sin is the same, so think about that the next time you're talking about your BFF having an orgasm in the back of her boyfriend's car, virgins. You're both sinning, but she's getting off! She wins!
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:3deec1b8-7786-4aa5-9428-b162580e0ff2">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]I just was amazed at how many people were waiting. For me, personally, I'd never marry someone I hadn't slept with =) The idea of figuring out sexual chemistry for the first time after being married sounds AWFUL. Posted by aprovencher21[/QUOTE]
Agreed. I would feel like I didn't know the person enough to be able to decide to be with them for the rest of my life if I hadn't been so intimate with them.
I have a friend who got married at 17 and was a virgin (obviously). She and her husband had no sexual chemistry. She said she could tell, even that young with nothing to compare it to, that the sex was awful. They ended up divorced after 5 years.
I'm weird. I didn't wait (I've only ever been with my ex of six years and FI), but Ben and I decided to abstain during our engagement. By the time the wedding gets here - that's eight whole months of not having sex on purpose. (GAAAH)
It is partly a religious/spiritual journey. It's also been really educational for us too - we are incredibly sexual and have ridiculously hot chemistry but doing this has really solidified that we've got a great relationship. You learn a hell of a lot about each other when you're having sex, but you also learn a lot when you're not having sex. So even though we LOVE sex, it's cool to know that it's not all that we're about. And even though it won't be a "traditional wedding night," it will have special significance for us.
I agree that I don't judge people who wait completely or don't wait at all, but I also agree that when people are running around being all "I'm so virginal" and they're the queen of blow-jobs, that's slightly hypocritical. And by slightly I mean entirely.
I do know of one couple who didn't even KISS until they were pronounced man and wife at the altar. They've been married for about five or six years and are on baby number two, so, it worked for them. But that definitely doesn't work for everyone.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:4b18de7e-950d-4beb-a1aa-e56104612afc">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]I don't know anyone who waited outside of a couple FB friends who are extremely religious. Personally, there was no point in me waiting, others had taken that choice away from me years before. Even still, I wouldn't have waited. I do not agree that love makes the sex, or however PP worded it. Although I think there are more important things to a relationship than sex, if you're not compatible sexually then you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment. And kind of along the lines of what sun said, one of my brother's friends has done pretty much everything but actual sex with his girlfriend/fiancee (not sure what they are, really). <strong>In high school they were perfectly fine boasting about their latest sex toy and whatnot, but they said it was okay because it wasn't "real sex." At that point, just do it already. You're not fooling anyone.</strong> Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]
I went to Catholic school. I definitely knew one or two people who considered themselves to be virgins because they "only" did anal and that doesn't count.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waiting-till-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:78c2729e-4075-40e4-bacb-a25a736aea32Post:9e76f4c9-72c8-4504-bb0c-6b188220f557">Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....</a>: [QUOTE]Im curious, do couples who wait not mess around at all before, or is it just sex thats off limits? I would hate my life if I married a guy and found out after he had a thumb size penis. I say that in total honesty, im not joking around. That would suck. Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
::shaking head yes:: I would cry and it would be an issue.....thumb size is no good.
For the most part, it is religious. I am not a virgin, and neither is Fl. Both of us had... ahem... interesting pasts. I grew up in a Christian home and became sexually active when God took a backseat. Fl wasn't raised Christian and decided after becoming one that he would wait until marriage. I rediscovered God a few years ago and we have decided together we are waiting until we're married. We fool around, sometimes things get out of control. Both of us KNOW how good it would be from past experiences, but part of waiting is knowing that because we waited and it's right, God will bless the union.
To each their own really. Obvi since I have past experiences and so does Fl, neither of us judge. We also know people who don't kiss before marriage and I think that's nuts. So I'm sure there are people who think I'm nuts. Oh wait, I know some of my friends think I'm nuts! hahaha.
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Re: Waiting Till Marriage.....
[QUOTE]I think whatever works for you, works for you. I'm not fucking either you or your FI, so I don't care what happens or doesn't happen in your bed. What irks the shiit out of me is the idiots who wear their virginity like a badge of courage and mention it all the time. No one's knighting you for your penis-free life. As a matter of fact, no one cares or even needs to know you're saving yourself for marriage unless it comes up in a conversation among close friends. If you are waiting, you just need to be prepared for the unknown. <strong>To declare that bad sex won't affect your relationship is like saying it's just as easy to walk across the country as it is to fly. You can tough it out and complete the walk, but you're going to be exhausted, pissed off and have some serious blisters by the end of it all. </strong>:)
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]
This killed me, almost literally, make me choke on a grape. Best analogy ever.
My friends and I are all slutty, we gave up our V cards a loooong time ago. Only one ended up marrying her first, but they were together since HS. Most of us had sex for the first time in HS or the first year of college. Sex just isn't seen as a big deal in our circle, we're responsible and careful and all that, but I don't know that any of us see an issue with sleeping with someone we're dating... or that we met at a bar earlier that night.
ETA: I also believe in kissing on the first date. If the person's a bad kisser, why bother with a second date lol.
Arizona has a large Mormon population, so I know a lot of people who waited until marriage (and, not surprisingly, married young).
Personally, I couldn't care less what other people choose to do or choose not to do with their own bodies, but I find those who advertise and vehemently defend their choice supremely annoying. For some reason (most likely my own issues), this is especially true if the reason happens to be religious in nature. Even if I believed in God, I would have a REALLY hard time believing that God cares about where you've taken it / put it. Sex before marriage is "taboo" because it screws with patrilineal inheritance, not because some supposedly all-present, all-knowing extraterrestrial being cares if you've crossed an imaginary line (that ends somewhere below the mouth, apparently *cough*).
[QUOTE]Arizona has a large Mormon population, so I know a lot of people who waited until marriage (and, not surprisingly, married young). Personally, I couldn't care less what other people choose to do or choose not to do with their own bodies, but I find those who advertise and vehemently defend their choice supremely annoying. For some reason (most likely my own issues), this is especially true if the reason happens to be religious in nature. Even if I believed in God, I would have a REALLY hard time believing that God cares about where you've taken it / put it. Sex before marriage is "taboo" because it screws with patrilineal inheritance, not because some supposedly all-present, all-knowing extraterrestrial being cares if you've crossed an imaginary line (that ends somewhere below the mouth, apparently *cough*).
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]
Celles,
I want to be as smart as you when I grow up.
Sincerely,
LTZ
I think I've got a pretty detached view of sex though. I hate the term "making love." It's more like-pushing the right buttons.
[QUOTE]We didn't wait, and I never had any intention of waiting until marriage. I think I've got a pretty detached view of sex though. I hate the term <strong>"making love."</strong> It's more like-pushing the right buttons.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]
Vom! Tim used that phrase once. I just started laughing my ass off.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : WOW!! That seems like a high pg rate. I went to a private Catholic all-girl's school. Biggest sluts ever. But only one pg. And it was weird; the administration & teachers all knew but it was a big secret. She hid it well and then wasn't able to graduate with us b/c of it. Stupid.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]
Those are just the ones I know personally. There's another 15 that I only kind of know. And our graduating class was only 250 people. It's like they all decided that being pregnant was "like, totally aweosme, and we should all do it!".
40/112
[QUOTE]Any, my HS was the same. I knew at least 20 girls who got pregnant in HS, and my grad class was only 107. They weren't all in my class, though. One of them's little sister had a baby in 8th grade, a year after the older sister had one as a sophomore. <strong>My mom proposed to buy them all televisions, because they must be really bored at home</strong>.
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]
Lol! Yeah, sadly but not surprisingly, these were almost exclusively the girls who were snorting coke and getting wasted every weekend. Guess it's hard to figure out birth control when you're pooping on someone's floor.
One couple has been with other people, live together now, but won't have sex until they are married.
The Third is one of my best friends as well. She has never had a real serious relationship and was waiting for "the one" after turning 28 last year she decided that she wasn't waiting for the one anymore and went at it with a guy she dated for a few months. She says she could have waited longer, but feels like a lot of guys would get scared off after the third or fourth date when she would reveal she was a virgin. Then the guy she did sleep with didn't want anything to do with her anymore. I kinda feel bad for her sometimes.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Waiting Till Marriage..... : H and I were at a wedding over the summer that was laced with information about the couples sex life and waiting until marriage to do anything. It was really uncomfortable and the majority of the people there were looking around like "Wait, did the pastor really just say all that?" I agree that it's personal and unnecessary to announce during the wedding ceremony or anywhere else for that matter.
Posted by shaydenise[/QUOTE]
Whoooaa - TMI for sure.
[QUOTE]I don't know any virgins...
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]
LOL. Ditto. =]
[QUOTE] ETA: I also believe in kissing on the first date. If the person's a bad kisser, why bother with a second date lol.
Posted by kcullen37[/QUOTE]
I wish I had adopted this philosphy when I started dating - it would have saved me from one very bad relationship. lol
I'm a "virgin" however I've done more than just kiss. I know its absolutely hypocritical but I was the goody goody church mouse...after having "VIRGIN TIL MARRIAGE" beaten into your head your whole life, its kind of hard to shake it, even though I'm not sure I consider myself a Christian now. The way I look at it - yes I've probably already crossed "God's line" or whatever, but if it doesn't bother me its ok. FWIW none of my friends are virgins, but they all waited until they were with their current SO/H.
Also, FI has this extreme fear that I'm going to get knocked up the first time we do it if it happens before we get married - despite the fact that I'm on the pill and he'd be using protection too. I mean I know that's a 1% probability but he's absolutely terrified....I think he's afraid of disappointing his family (even though both his grandmother's were pg when they got married).
[QUOTE]I think whatever works for you, works for you. I'm not fucking either you or your FI, so I don't care what happens or doesn't happen in your bed. What irks the shiit out of me is the idiots who wear their virginity like a badge of courage and mention it all the time. No one's knighting you for your penis-free life. As a matter of fact, no one cares or even needs to know you're saving yourself for marriage unless it comes up in a conversation among close friends.
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]
All of this.
Evidently I know a surprisingly large number of people who waited.
A bunch of college friends and I were at a wedding and the MOH's toast was about how touched (pun intended) and proud she was of the bride and groom for "not giving in to temptation." She went on and on and on about it and even cried. Meanwhile, my whole table was desperately trying not to laugh like hyenas. We knew bride was definitely not a virgin and she was very in touch with her sexuality in our college days. She was our RA when we were freshman and she showed us her vibrator and explained to us how to use it during sex.
[QUOTE]When I got knocked up and engaged one month, our church pastor told us we shouldn't have sex again until we were married. I asked him why, as obviously the jig was up at that point. WTF?
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]
Ha!
PSA: guys who don't have sex are really good at oral. I'm still really confused about that guy . . . I hope he and the big guy upstairs got things worked out.
[QUOTE]I just was amazed at how many people were waiting. For me, personally, I'd never marry someone I hadn't slept with =) The idea of figuring out sexual chemistry for the first time after being married sounds AWFUL.
Posted by aprovencher21[/QUOTE]
Agreed. I would feel like I didn't know the person enough to be able to decide to be with them for the rest of my life if I hadn't been so intimate with them.
I have a friend who got married at 17 and was a virgin (obviously). She and her husband had no sexual chemistry. She said she could tell, even that young with nothing to compare it to, that the sex was awful. They ended up divorced after 5 years.
40/112
It is partly a religious/spiritual journey. It's also been really educational for us too - we are incredibly sexual and have ridiculously hot chemistry but doing this has really solidified that we've got a great relationship. You learn a hell of a lot about each other when you're having sex, but you also learn a lot when you're not having sex. So even though we LOVE sex, it's cool to know that it's not all that we're about. And even though it won't be a "traditional wedding night," it will have special significance for us.
I agree that I don't judge people who wait completely or don't wait at all, but I also agree that when people are running around being all "I'm so virginal" and they're the queen of blow-jobs, that's slightly hypocritical. And by slightly I mean entirely.
I do know of one couple who didn't even KISS until they were pronounced man and wife at the altar. They've been married for about five or six years and are on baby number two, so, it worked for them. But that definitely doesn't work for everyone.
[QUOTE]I don't know anyone who waited outside of a couple FB friends who are extremely religious. Personally, there was no point in me waiting, others had taken that choice away from me years before. Even still, I wouldn't have waited. I do not agree that love makes the sex, or however PP worded it. Although I think there are more important things to a relationship than sex, if you're not compatible sexually then you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment. And kind of along the lines of what sun said, one of my brother's friends has done pretty much everything but actual sex with his girlfriend/fiancee (not sure what they are, really). <strong>In high school they were perfectly fine boasting about their latest sex toy and whatnot, but they said it was okay because it wasn't "real sex." At that point, just do it already. You're not fooling anyone.</strong>
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]
I went to Catholic school. I definitely knew one or two people who considered themselves to be virgins because they "only" did anal and that doesn't count.
40/112
[QUOTE]Im curious, do couples who wait not mess around at all before, or is it just sex thats off limits? I would hate my life if I married a guy and found out after he had a thumb size penis. I say that in total honesty, im not joking around. That would suck.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
::shaking head yes:: I would cry and it would be an issue.....thumb size is no good.
To each their own really. Obvi since I have past experiences and so does Fl, neither of us judge. We also know people who don't kiss before marriage and I think that's nuts. So I'm sure there are people who think I'm nuts. Oh wait, I know some of my friends think I'm nuts! hahaha.