this is the code for the render ad
Wedding Invitations & Paper

2nd Wedding

Me and my husband been married for 7.5 years but when we got married it was courthouse eloped and I was 7 months pregnant with my oldest son. We always wanted a real wedding but never had the time or the money or always had a conflict. Now we want to start getting plans in motion. We do want a traditional wedding like we are not even married but really this is like renewing our vows.
How should we do the message on our invites?
«1

Re: 2nd Wedding

  • You'd word the invitations as a vow renewal.

    I understand what you two want but unfortunately it's not possible.  You ARE married and pretending that you aren't would be disrespectful to each other and to all your guests.

  • NO, we arent planning on "Pretending" that it's our 1st wedding. We do want the weddng to be traditional 1st wedding but I know the invites haves to say different. Im making the invites myself and not sure how to write it as. 
  • I think that celebrating your marriage through a vow renewel sounds like a lovely idea. However, please be careful of how you word/approach the topic.  A lot of people choose to have a courthouse wedding and are happy with that choice.  A courthouse wedding is a REAL wedding, so to say otherwise can be offensive to people who chose this route.   Traditionally in vow renewals, there is no bridal party, no first dances, no cake cutting.  There is nothing wrong with having a vow renewel to celebrate the marriage you already have, but please don't treat it like a do-over wedding. 
  • Im treating it like an "do-over" wedding for my family who want to me to have the same thing. I dont feel like my court house wedding was a real wedding and that is my honest option. Im glad some others are happy with theirs but I was not. I was 7 months pregnant and we did it running between the dr office doing my diabetes test and my ultrasound and we were filthy and it was just HORRIBLE. It was not prepared and Me being DEAF was very confused with everything being said. No thank you, I want it over. It's not something that is very memorial. But It's a vow renewal also so it will be treated both ways.
  • I asked for ideas on what I can put on my invitations, I didnt ask for rather Im right or wrong on how Im going to do my Renewal or rather or not am i ALLOWED to have a 2nd wedding. 
  • The issue with second weddings is that they aren't linguistically possible.  A wedding is where two people become legally bound as husband and wife.  Unless you get divorced, you can't do that again. 

    However, for your celebration, CMGr had excellent advice on how to word your invitations. 
  • Actually I want something a bit more poetic, unique. A bit of an example from my husband's brother's invitation (his wedding in june):

    The girl has roped her cowboy for life & they're joining together as husband & wife! Come celebrate with us, the promise & love of a union that's truly blessed from above!
    The parents & families joyously request the honour of your presence at the wedding of 
    blah blah blah, Im not going on with the rest...

    That's an idea of what Im looking for but used as a renewal wedding instead of a marriage wedding (I believe that wedding could be use for Renewal or Marriage Uniting). 
  • Congrats on your renewal of vows!  Check out invitationconsultant.com.  This website has different wording ideas and was helpful for me!  Good luck and happy planning!!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_2nd-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:45e5ae9c-d061-49df-b007-0853fa0bfa77Post:cbe5e438-9d4e-4136-a2c6-bb0845df731f">Re: 2nd Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Im treating it like an "do-over" wedding for my family who want to me to have the same thing.<strong> I dont feel like my court house wedding was a real wedding </strong>and that is my honest option. Im glad some others are happy with theirs but I was not. I was 7 months pregnant and we did it running between the dr office doing my diabetes test and my ultrasound and we were filthy and it was just HORRIBLE. It was not prepared and Me being DEAF was very confused with everything being said. No thank you, I want it over. It's not something that is very memorial. But It's a vow renewal also so it will be treated both ways.
    Posted by serenity5689[/QUOTE]

    <div>Did you get married at that wedding?  Then yes, it was a real wedding.  Unless you get divorced, it is physically impossible for you to have a real wedding now.  I suppose now you're going to say that you don't consider yourself married.  </div><div>
    </div><div>What you are planning is a vow renewal.  A do over wedding is ridiculous and incredibly immature, and it's still a fake wedding.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Your vow renewal invitation should say something like "X and Y request the honor of your presence as they renew their vows..."  </div>
  • Again, I dont want to hear about rather a real wedding or not! That's not what Im asking. 
  • I will say it again... There is a difference between FORCING your options and believes on someone and Giving someone advice. That is the only thing Im arguing in the other post. U cant control what I say or how I say it so dont even try to. If you dont believe it's a real wedding, then that is your option, not mine.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_2nd-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:45e5ae9c-d061-49df-b007-0853fa0bfa77Post:188d56ae-0055-40a8-9791-726589e466bc">Re: 2nd Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I will say it again... There is a difference between FORCING your options and believes on someone and Giving someone advice. That is the only thing Im arguing in the other post. U cant control what I say or how I say it so dont even try to. If you dont believe it's a real wedding, then that is your option, not mine.
    Posted by serenity5689[/QUOTE]

    <div>But it's not an opinion.  It is a fact that the event you are planning is not a wedding.  Are you delusional? </div><div>
    </div><div>It's so sad that people who are this childish are raising the next generation.  </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_2nd-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:45e5ae9c-d061-49df-b007-0853fa0bfa77Post:188d56ae-0055-40a8-9791-726589e466bc">Re: 2nd Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I will say it again... There is a difference between FORCING your options and believes on someone and Giving someone advice. That is the only thing Im arguing in the other post. U cant control what I say or how I say it so dont even try to. If you dont believe it's a real wedding, then that is your option, not mine.
    Posted by serenity5689[/QUOTE]

    Umm, it's not a real wedding.  Look up the definition of wedding in the dictionary if you don't believe everyone.
  • Everyone has their own view of a wedding, doesnt make them right or wrong. Im not saying u guys are WRONG but Im not saying Im wrong either. Does it make it a FACT just because a group of people say it is? Nope It dont.
  • edited May 2012
    No, saying it was a real wedding is not an opinion, it is a fact. A REAL wedding is when two unmarried people show up, have an officiant of some sort perform a legally binding ceremony of sorts, and then said people leave married. That is what happened at the courthouse. You should have thought of what you wanted when you went to get married the first time. That was a CHOICE you made. Maybe you regret that choice, maybe you didn't like it, but you made it and now need to take responsibility for it.

    Plenty of posters have given you polite, helpful advice on how to word an invitation for a vow renewal, which is what this is and how to go about it. You are just choosing to be stubborn and not listen because we're not validating your ridiculousness. Please grow up. You are not having a second wedding. That would be happening if you got divorced from your first husband and decided to get married again. That is not what's going on. What's going on is you didn't like the first wedding you CHOSE so now you feel entitled to a second "do over." I hate when people feel entitled to things. You're not! Have your nice vow renewal and move on.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • Thing is, I asked for advice on a invitation for a RENEWAL and I get bashed about having a wedding because I believe to call a renewal a wedding no matter what. I dont care about you input on the idea of the use of the word wedding. I wanted an idea of an unique poem like version to put on an invite and I did give an example. And still people bring up the whole issue again on rather 2nd wedding or not. COMMON PEOPLE GET ON TOPIC! It's not me that needs to grow up, the bunch of you need to stop bashing people and get on with the right TOPIC. 


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_2nd-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:45e5ae9c-d061-49df-b007-0853fa0bfa77Post:fbc78efa-ac25-4c24-b0db-4f1bbc5652be">Re: 2nd Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: 2nd Wedding : Umm, it's not a real wedding.  Look up the definition of wedding in the dictionary if you don't believe everyone.
    Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]

    Try to get a license to get married.  They won't give her one because - hold on, I have to use LOGIC here - she is already married,

    OP - Take CMGR's advice for a vow renewal.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • OP, I understand that you didn't like your first wedding, but it WAS a wedding. You can call this and think of it as a second wedding all you want but it is not a wedding because you are already married. That's what everyone is trying to tell you. CMGr has given you great advice regarding wording. If you want something less formal, you need to use her wording and then at the top add a cute phrase or something. Any quote or phrase about love or something like that would be fine. The rest of the wording should really be what CMGr used because you need to be clear to your guests that this is a vow renewal. Even if you think of it as a wedding. Good luck!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_2nd-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:45e5ae9c-d061-49df-b007-0853fa0bfa77Post:01f13c5f-9471-40d7-84e7-443b514fa362">Re:2nd Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP, I understand that you didn't like your first wedding, but it WAS a wedding. You can call this and think of it as a second wedding all you want but it is not a wedding because you are already married. That's what everyone is trying to tell you. CMGr has given you great advice regarding wording. If you want something less formal, you need to use her wording and then at the top add a cute phrase or something. Any quote or phrase about love or something like that would be fine. The rest of the wording should really be what CMGr used because you need to be clear to your guests that this is a vow renewal. Even if you think of it as a wedding. Good luck!
    Posted by LeiselEB[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Im having a Vow Renewal Wedding, not a Do-over wedding. Everyone knowns Im married and not gonna even try to change that. Like I said again, I was raised calling both a Bridal wedding and a Renewal Wedding, if you disagree that's fine, that's your choice but that's not what I been asking and that is not the advice I was looking for. Continuing to shove "THAT'S NOT A WEDDING" in my face is not answer my question. I gave an example of what Im looking for and I get jumped on for calling it a wedding when hell that's what I believe it is, rathere it's a first time bridal or a 2nd time "renewal."</div><div>
    </div><div>Forget it, too many self-centers hags that have nothing better to do but critize and be-little others.</div><div>
    </div>
  • Drop the "DO OVER" topic. That's not the point of the thread. I know it's a renewal and that's final.

    Now anyone can help me out with some unique wordings to use on the invitation. Something catchy and "COUNTRY" and a bit "POETIC"
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_2nd-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:45e5ae9c-d061-49df-b007-0853fa0bfa77Post:1ee471e1-b26a-48f8-9cd9-b06a1390aa3f">Re: 2nd Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can dress up a pig, and call it a mule, but it's still a pig. When you posted on this board, you opened yourself up to feedback.  People have been honest with you, and you have thrown tantrums in return.  You don't get to tell other people how and what to post.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I dont call any of these post any FEEDBACK. More of harrassment and personal attacks. Even if I cannot tell you what to post, no I cannot, but you cannot tell me how to think or believe or anything of that matter. I asked advice on one thing and i get a COMPLETELY different respond that is not even related to the topic. That is not what a forum is for. </div><div>
    </div>
  • I dont care if Im new or not. Just because a group of you are ANTI-VOW RENEWAL doesnt mean that the ones who are not, isnt welcome here. Last I checked, THERE is no rules at all, anywhere saying that those who are having their vows renewed, are not allowed to post on here. There is NOTHING that says having a Vows Renewed cannot be called a wedding. There is NOTHING but you and your small group of followers say and your words are NOT law. Im not the one with the attitude, Im just fed up of the bashing and the harrassment. Arent there anything better for you to do? Do you even have a LIFE?! Obviously not if you on all day doing nothing but critizing and bashing and speading nothing but negativites to everyone u DISAGREE with. 
  • serenity5689serenity5689 member
    10 Comments
    edited May 2012
    I read it but all the other post you have sent and the others. Yea I saw that, That wasnt what I was looking for and I mentioned that. Im looking for something that you wont find on any other invites, it's my own. Im all for unique-ness... Even my REAL name is ONE OF A KIND. 

    Im trying to get way OOFFF the topic of the whole "2nd WEDDING" thing. I did "wrongfully" write the title, yes but I dont want to continue hearing how wrong it is about having a 2nd wedding. Yes I do want my renewal to be like a wedding but in my own taste and I do have reasons why I want it like that and my MAIN reason is because of my grandmother. I am the PAMPERED child growing up. It broke her HEART when I eloped. She wants to dress me, do my hair, beautify me for my wedding so that's why Im trying to have it like a wedding as much as possible but we all know it's a renewal. 2nd most reason is because it is more of a "NEW START" for me and my husband that almost got a divorce. and Yes ofc, I would love the idea to be a PRINCESS for one day (Well a Western princess in this case). Yea, I hear you all say "YOU CANT HAVE A DO-OVER WEDDING" Yes I hear you all say "YOU ALREADY HAD A WEDDING< NO MATTER HOW AWEFUL IT WAS THE FIRST TIME." but this is my Renewal and I want it to be better than my first. And Family traditions we have a wedding "renewal or whatever" every 10 years of the marriage and that's how things work. Im doing it earlier because my grandmother has developed a Lung Disease and might not live longer and my husband already lost his dear Grandfather and his grandmother is not looking too good lately. We want to give them their dreams and have fun, too. 

    Everyone that is invited or knows about the Renewal know the situation and NO one has any objections to it. Actually I have everyone trying to help out, becomes overwelming, that's why I came looking for a forum to help me. Too many of them who WANT me to do this and that is different from getting personal advices on things from strangers who dont. Forced ideas is different then open suggestions. 
  • Serenity, a vow renewal is fine. Your previous posts were calling this a second wedding, saying this was a do over because you didn't like your first one, and that's not cool. If you would just call this what it is - a vow renewal - you'll save yourself the trouble of negative responses. You just need to use the correct terminology. If you think of this as a wedding, fine, whatever, but you can't tell people this is a wedding if it's not. 

    That said, you got great advice from CMGr - she even gave you a website to check out for more ideas. If you want this to be more unique, use your imagination. Take the wording CMGr gave and look for synonyms. Use a fun design on the invites, bright colors, cool fonts, etc. If you really want to add something nontraditional, put a little phrase or quote at the beginning, and then lead into the traditional wording. The reason people suggest more traditional wording is because it is the most simple and most easy for your guests to understand. Especially with a vow renewal, you need to be clear with guests that this is NOT a wedding. Hope that helps. 
  • OBX2011OBX2011 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_2nd-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:45e5ae9c-d061-49df-b007-0853fa0bfa77Post:dc13b556-4c0b-4570-990e-5eb0db4c2da0">Re: 2nd Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I dont care if Im new or not. Just because a group of you are ANTI-VOW RENEWAL doesnt mean that the ones who are not, isnt welcome here. Last I checked, THERE is no rules at all, anywhere saying that those who are having their vows renewed, are not allowed to post on here. There is NOTHING that says having a Vows Renewed cannot be called a wedding. There is NOTHING but you and your small group of followers say and your words are NOT law. Im not the one with the attitude, Im just fed up of the bashing and the harrassment. Arent there anything better for you to do? Do you even have a LIFE?! Obviously not if you on all day doing nothing but critizing and bashing and speading nothing but negativites to everyone u DISAGREE with. 
    Posted by serenity5689[/QUOTE]

    Get it straight lady, no one here is against vow renewals but what we are against is when someone clearly tries to pass it off as a "do-over wedding" and calls it such.

    Feel free to contact TK if you think anyone has "harassed" you or "personally attacked" you and let me know how that works out for you, mmkayyy?  If anything, YOU were the one who called us names..."bitter hags" I think it was?  Grow up.

    Like PP's said, you posted on a public forum, therefore, anyone can respond as how they see fit.  If you don't like the brutal honesty, then maybe this site isn't for you.

     

  • dulcis_somniodulcis_somnio member
    First Comment
    edited May 2012
    First off to the people commenting here, does it really matter what she calls it? This is what dictionary.com has as the definition of wedding:

    wed·ding
    noun
    1.
    the act or ceremony of marrying; marriage; nuptials.
    2.
    the anniversary of a marriage, or its celebration: They invited guests to their silver wedding.

    No where there does it say that a couple can only have one wedding ceremony celebrating their love! The part highlighted in red is what I believe Serenity is talking about. She never said that it would be on a different day than her wedding anniversary. Go to this page and see the "etiquette" for Renewal of Vows Weddings: 

    http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/VowRenewal.htm

     Plenty of the "good reasons" for having the ceremony seems to fit for Serenity. Stop bashing, it's worse than what you are accusing her of.

    As for answering your question Serenity, how about something like this as teh opening lines?
               Through the good times and the hard,
        This cowboy and cowgirl still ride side by side.

    Then go into something like "please join us for our renewal of vows wedding" Or however you want to word the "offical" part that invites everyone.

    My best friend and her husband will be renewing their vows for their fifth wedding anniversary. And she is planning to wear a semi-formal wedding gown, and do much the same a "normal" wedding. It's something to celebrate their love after MANY hardships over the last five years. Nothing wrong with it at all.
  • serenity5689serenity5689 member
    10 Comments
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_2nd-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:45e5ae9c-d061-49df-b007-0853fa0bfa77Post:a6e61177-fdb2-48f6-ac53-071b8445daf0">Re: 2nd Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]First off to the people commenting here, does it really matter what she calls it? This is what dictionary.com has as the definition of wedding: wed·ding noun 1. the act or ceremony of marrying; marriage; nuptials. 2. the anniversary of a marriage , or its celebration : They invited guests to their silver wedding. No where there does it say that a couple can only have one wedding ceremony celebrating their love! The part highlighted in red is what I believe Serenity is talking about. She never said that it would be on a different day than her wedding anniversary. Go to this page and see the "etiquette" for Renewal of Vows Weddings:  <a rel="nofollow" href="http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/VowRenewal.htm">http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/VowRenewal.htm</a>  Plenty of the "good reasons" for having the ceremony seems to fit for Serenity. Stop bashing, it's worse than what you are accusing her of. As for answering your question Serenity, how about something like this as teh opening lines?            Through the good times and the hard,     This cowboy and cowgirl still ride side by side. Then go into something like "please join us for our renewal of vows wedding" Or however you want to word the "offical" part that invites everyone. My best friend and her husband will be renewing their vows for their fifth wedding anniversary. And she is planning to wear a semi-formal wedding gown, and do much the same a "normal" wedding. It's something to celebrate their love after MANY hardships over the last five years. Nothing wrong with it at all.
    Posted by dulcis_somnio[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thank you so much, Dulcis.</div><div>Now that opens me up to ideas. Thank you so much! Makes my day just light up!</div><div>And even if my renewal is not on my anniversary, doing research and actually talking to an EXPERT in Wedding Equettes says the date doesnt have the be same day. </div>
  • babe915babe915 member
    100 Comments
    What about :A life of caring, sharing
    A love of endless giving together . . .
    The honour of your presence is requested
    at the reaffirmation of wedding vows of
    NAMES
    on DAY
    YEAR
    at TIME
    LOCATION
    ADDRESS
    CITY, STATE


    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I wish the whole subject will drop and just get on the actual topic.

    Here is what I came up with, 
    What do you think...

    Through rugged hard mountains,

    And smooth shiny meadow;

    Through the darkness of night,

    And through the brightness of day,

    The cowboy and cowgirl still ride side by side.

    For now is the time to gather with them,

    Over a new mountain they wish to cross.

    Please come and join 

    Mr. --------

    And

    Mrs. ---------

    Along with their children

    blank, blank, blank, blank, and blank

    Date

    At time

    Location 

    To pledge new vows to each other

    as partners and as family.

    Vows renewed, promises renewed, but 

    the journey everlasting,

     

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards