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Wedding Etiquette Forum
tchristine01
member
ceremony precessional
Help. My FMIL is insisting that my groom walk her down the aisle at the start of the ceremony. I would rather my FMIL and FFIL just walk together or sit in front before the ceremony starts and my groom and officiant wait at front for the rest of the party. She is very sensitive about things. What is the best way to phrase this to my groom and to her?
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Re: ceremony precessional
[QUOTE]Help. My FMIL is insisting that my groom walk her down the aisle at the start of the ceremony. I would rather my FMIL and FFIL just walk together or sit in front before the ceremony starts and my groom and officiant wait at front for the rest of the party. She is very sensitive about things. What is the best way to phrase this to my groom and to her?
Posted by tchristine01[/QUOTE]
<div>I see what your FMIL wants, and I see what you want, but what does your FI want? It's his mom, and he would be the one doing the walking or standing. </div><div>
</div><div>Technically the parents aren't part of the processional, since the processional and processionaly music starts after the parents are seated normally. So your FI could walk her in, and then go stand at the front. Honestly, you wouldn't know the difference. </div><div>
</div><div>Does he have any brothers? H has 2 younger brothers, and we had the middle brother walk MIL down the aisle. Then he just swung around and got back in line with the rest of the GM's for the processional. </div><div>
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</div><div>ETA: I have never seen the groom walk the mother in. It's always been either the FOG or a brother. But if he has no problem with it, I don't think anything is wrong with it. I would check with your ceremony venue though, as our church had H in the back with the BM and the priest until right before it started.</div>
FWIW, in my wedding, DH did escort his mom down the aisle. We started with the guys all just standing at the altar, then when the music started, DH walked up the aisle to meet his mother and nephew (The "two most important men in her life") and they escorted her down the aisle. Then my brother (Who was a GM), walked up the aisle to meet my mother, and he and my youngest brother (Not in the WP) escorted her to her seat. And then the BMs started their processional.
It might sound weird, but from what everybody's told me, it looked fine (I was obviously not able to see it), and everybody involved was really happy with it.
40/112
I haz a planning bio
Since you won't even be there, does it really matter? The only think I can think of is that if your FI has to come outside of your ceremony site to get his mother, he might see you if you are also waiting there. Is that your concern?
In our wedding, MIL was escorted by a GM, not her husband (FIL walked behind her). That was her choice. I think it should be okay to let her enter as she wishes.
I'm sensing that it is not weird to have my fiance walk her down with my FFIL walking behind. Should I wait to start the music until the bridesmaids are ready to walk down to keep the precessional seperate from his parents being seated? We aren't doing anything special for any of the grandparents and my parents are walking me down. Or should I just make it all one thing?
I really don't see this as her trying to control or be a part of the processional. In my world this is totally normal and I wouldn't even bat an eye. Neither would any of my friends - it's the way it's been done at every wedding I've attended. And I assure you, it will not look strange for him to walk his mom down the aisle. He'll give her a hug and a kiss, then join your pastor at the altar, or however you choose to do it.