So mad - no one around - need to vent SOMEWHERE!

M&R7111 · October 2010

Well, as far as my email - it was more about the fact that she sent me an inflammatory text message and then wouldn't let me talk. I summarized the email in my OP, but I used 'nicer' words to express my disappointment in the way she decided to handle this situation.

A phone call such as "Hey, M&R, it was cool with me that you bailed on our trip but what's all this about having people over to your place? That kind of hurts"

Granted, I would still be kinda annoyed that she couldn't see the difference between me not being able to commit to a 3 day excursion and being able to stop for 3 hrs to watch a baseball game! But at least I could talk to her about it.

As far as the facebook nonsense - it was a post in response to people asking FI and I out to watch the game. I wasn't advertising a party but suggesting that they come over here for free drinks instead of wasting money at a bar. Everyone kept posting about "lets go here they have x special or y special...so I decided to say "open bar here". There was more context in the facebook page.

What it comes down to is the tone she took (and takes) with me. It was as if I was a kid who convinced my mom to let me stay home sick, but then was caught rough-housing with the neighborhood kids later. "So, I thought you were too sick to go to school!" Big difference - a three day trip away from home and a few hours at night after a day of work to watch the game with my friends.

This is also coming from the woman who, last January via Facebook instant message (errrr) 'informed' me that our mutual friends were planning on boycotting my wedding b/c they didn't like FI (long story, but they all met him once and he and I ended up fighting....since been resolved....I hardly see these people so they are 'worried'). She then went on to say that if I married him I would thus be choosing him over them and would loose my friends.

I have since been relieved to learn from my friends that that was not true. Go figure. So maybe this is just how she is.

M&R7111 · October 2010

PS - Just now FI posted to my FB (he is on the train ride home) that he want's to watch the Philly game with people and is asking if we should go out to a bar or stay in with the "free beer" and invite people over.

Looks like I'm in hot water again, hu?

PPS - graded and lesson planned since 7 am this morning - all done, caught up, and relaxed! Staying home was well worth it. And the YANKEES WON LAST NIGHT!

andy71781 · October 2010

Are you needing encouragement to break off this friendship for other reasons? It sounds like you want to not be friends with this girl anymore - and this text message thing has really bothered you.

The PC of a text message fight aside - I think its not worth the emotional stress you are putting on yourself. Either say you are sorry to the girl and kiss and make up or let the friendship go.

M&R7111 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mad-one-around-need-vent-somewhere?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1eed2797-3740-440f-b9e9-b8aef2477bf6Post:4f4f15b6-7d40-4b16-933b-fa75f1d8f48b">Re: So mad - no one around - need to vent SOMEWHERE!</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you needing encouragement to break off this friendship for other reasons? It sounds like you want to not be friends with this girl anymore - and this text message thing has really bothered you. The PC of a text message fight aside - I think its not worth the emotional stress you are putting on yourself. Either say you are sorry to the girl and kiss and make up or let the friendship go.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]

I was just thinking this as I was cooking dinner - we both are from a group of friends (think Friends the TV show) so its not like we talk or hang out just ourselves. I guess I'm still "friends " with her because of the 'group'.

That's probably why I'm very angry and very willing to not talk to this woman again over this. I don't find her worth my time and I have friends who would have understood the situation.

Wow - TK is better than therapy, lol.

leah2b · October 2010

Just don't be friends with her then. It sounds like you don't really value her friendship anyway. Look, I don't like passive agressive, overly controlling friends either but friendship is a two way street and if you only hang out with friends when it is convenient and timely for you, you will find that you will lose those friendships or they will become less meaningful. I learned this myself - I have a great friend who loves to do stuff and is a super weekend warrior (we are both attorneys and work at least 12 hr days ourselves, plus often weekend work when on trial). She always invited me on every trip and, most often, I turned her down. Guess what -- no more invites! As you get older, you will find that you want those closer friendships - perhaps even more than when you were in your 20s. Life gets harder in many ways (work, family life, aging, dealing with family illness and death of loved ones) and its nice to have close friends that will drop everything and be there for you when you really need it.

Finally, I guess its none of my business but why do you and your FI communicate via facebook and advertise your wherabouts for everyone to see?

Kristin789 · October 2010

>>Not going to lie, if someone cancelled on me and then I saw that status on facebook I would been pissed about it too.

Yeah. That. Exactly.
You have every right to cancel, then clean, then take 2 hours to watch a ballgame. By yourself. Quietly. With papers to grade in your lap.

M&R7111 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mad-one-around-need-vent-somewhere?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1eed2797-3740-440f-b9e9-b8aef2477bf6Post:a7d58908-8e41-4bfc-a64a-b403024a08ae">Re: So mad - no one around - need to vent SOMEWHERE!</a>:
[QUOTE] />>Not going to lie, if someone cancelled on me and then I saw that status on facebook I would been pissed about it too. Yeah. That. Exactly. You have every right to cancel, then clean, then take 2 hours to watch a ballgame. By yourself. Quietly. With papers to grade in your lap.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

No - I don't have to watch it by myself. If a few people want to watch the game what's the difference between taking time with people or by myself?

M&R7111 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_mad-one-around-need-vent-somewhere?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1eed2797-3740-440f-b9e9-b8aef2477bf6Post:f6866202-df96-4c56-825d-86a523b6fb7b">Re: So mad - no one around - need to vent SOMEWHERE!</a>:
[QUOTE] Just don't be friends with her then. It sounds like you don't really value her friendship anyway. Look, I don't like passive agressive, overly controlling friends either but friendship is a two way street and if you only hang out with friends when it is convenient and timely for you, you will find that you will lose those friendships or they will become less meaningful. I learned this myself - I have a great friend who loves to do stuff and is a super weekend warrior (we are both attorneys and work at least 12 hr days ourselves, plus often weekend work when on trial). She always invited me on every trip and, most often, I turned her down. Guess what -- no more invites! As you get older, you will find that you want those closer friendships - perhaps even more than when you were in your 20s. Life gets harder in many ways (work, family life, aging, dealing with family illness and death of loved ones) and its nice to have close friends that will drop everything and be there for you when you really need it. Finally, I guess its none of my business but why do you and your FI communicate via facebook and advertise your wherabouts for everyone to see?
Posted by leah2b[/QUOTE]

My FI works when I have off. We only communicate things we want people to see. We wanted people to see that we both wanted to watch the game.

It's not like Im mad she saw that I was planning on watching the game - I expected it. Because there was nothing wrong with it.

So mad - no one around - need to vent SOMEWHERE!

Re: So mad - no one around - need to vent SOMEWHERE!

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