How to heal a hurting sister?

Re: How to heal a hurting sister?

• gottahavashorti member

  

  March 2010

  You can promote but you can't demote.  So if you want to ask your sister to be co-MOH, go ahead as long as it won't hurt your friend's feelings.

  
  
  Planning/Married Biology

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• jagore08 member

  

  March 2010

  I agree with shorti.  Ask her to be a MOH too.  

  Ignorance is a poor defense.

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• lalap69 member

  

  March 2010

  I think you're kind of in a no-win situation.  I agree with PP that you can promote, but not demote.  But I think that at this point she may feel that you're only doing it because she was upset (which would be true, wouldn't it?)  However, if you think it will help and you want to, by all means ask her to be co-MOH.

  Planning Our Wedding - Updated 04/11/11
  
  "If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert

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• Pirata13

  

  March 2010

  If you're going to do anything, have her be co-MOH as PP said. That being said though, I think you should leave it as is and that your sister needs to grow up a bit. 
  
  I am having 3 bridesmaids, and I was really torn on who to have for #3, my friend G or P. I chose G, and P understood I was keeping it small. If she is/was disappointed that she is not in mine, she has never said a word or let on. She has never guilted me or made me question my decision, nor has it dulled her excitement for my wedding.  She has asked me to be a bridesmaid in hers.  (5 months after my wedding)  Point is. your sister should be honored to stand up for you, and needs to stop making you feel so bad about it.

  

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• suz62984

  

  March 2010

  Do NOT demote.  I would also caution you to talk to your current MOH about how she feels to share the title based on the situation.
  
  My MOH was also a MOH for another friend of ours. She is normally laid back. Our friend had a similar situation and suddenly made her co-MOH within 2 months of the wedding. She was really hurt and it hurt their relationship a lot. I don't think it would have been as bad if they had just sat down and talked about the whole thing first.

  

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• HisCB

  

  March 2010

  if you want to heal her, then promote... tell her that when you started this wedding planning you had no idea that LOTs of brides have 2 MOHs, that you never even thought it was done, but you LOVE the idea of her and BFF both being MOH. you would love the idea of a FRIEND and  FAMILY member BOTH standing up for you, symbolicly, because your husband will be both your friend and you family, and you wedding party should sybolize both groups supporting your marriage.
  say the same thing to ur BFF if she seems upset about sharing the MOH role.
  

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• mrmrsbauer member

  

  March 2010

  Thanks everyone for your advice. I will talk to the current MOH about the 2 MOH idea.
  Although I feel like I have been doing so much to accommodate my sister and show her I love her and sadly she still puts on the guilt trips and is selfish, knowing she is so hurt by this, I want to help her and do what is important to her.
  My friend is so loving that I think she will understand sharing the role.
  Pirata, although I think you're right and she needs to recognize that just being in the wedding is an honor (and should grow up) I also feel if I don't make a change, she may let this be a wedge that hurts our relationship forever, and that I definitely do not want.

  
  So, any suggestions on how to split the MOH roles?

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• banana468 member

  

  March 2010

  Are you sure your sister won't be a pill even if she IS MOH?
  
  
  

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