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Wedding Party
Fiance's Sisters
Hi ladies! Advice needed please!
Okay. I have been going back and forth about whether or not to include my fiance's sisters (he has 3) as bridemaids. I get along with all of them, but we are not super close at all. In my opinion, I thought that they would rather spend the day socializing with family rather than having to deal with bridesmaid duties. However, I was out for drinks with one of my fiance's sisters and she made a comment that alluded to the fact that she assumed she and her sisters would be included in the bridal party. The last thing I want to do is create drama with my new family and I would without a doubt include them if we were closer....but I just don't feel like we are. I envisioned my wedding party to be my very best friends and not people who don't really know me (we dont see each other often) . And in my mind, I had thought that they might actually be irritated that they have to spend all the time and money involved in being a bridesmaid for someone they aren't that close to....I really just don't know what the right thing is to do here. My fiance says he doesnt think that I should include them, but I know that if this does end up causing hurt feelings....the anger will be towards me and not him. Has anyone been in this situation before?
Okay. I have been going back and forth about whether or not to include my fiance's sisters (he has 3) as bridemaids. I get along with all of them, but we are not super close at all. In my opinion, I thought that they would rather spend the day socializing with family rather than having to deal with bridesmaid duties. However, I was out for drinks with one of my fiance's sisters and she made a comment that alluded to the fact that she assumed she and her sisters would be included in the bridal party. The last thing I want to do is create drama with my new family and I would without a doubt include them if we were closer....but I just don't feel like we are. I envisioned my wedding party to be my very best friends and not people who don't really know me (we dont see each other often) . And in my mind, I had thought that they might actually be irritated that they have to spend all the time and money involved in being a bridesmaid for someone they aren't that close to....I really just don't know what the right thing is to do here. My fiance says he doesnt think that I should include them, but I know that if this does end up causing hurt feelings....the anger will be towards me and not him. Has anyone been in this situation before?
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Re: Fiance's Sisters
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Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
Do you have any siblings that are part of your wedding? I was in a friend's wedding and I thought it was weird that none of their brother's or sister's were in the wedding until I realized that there were too many and they didn't want to include some and not all. I do know that they gave all their siblings gifts at the wedding to thank them for all their support during the wedding planning.
What does your FI think? Is he close to his sisters? I generally think it's on the person whose siblings they are to decide if they want them on the WP. Personally, I think that if he wants them to be attendants he should ask them. I'm having my brother as a bridesman because he's much closer to me than to my FI.
"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
You and your FI have some options there to consider. And yeah, just b/c they're women doesn't mean they could only potentially stand on YOUR side or that if you would rather not have them as BMs you need to be the one to take the fallout for any hurt feelings when he could just as well ask them to be on his side or come up with other options (readers, etc).
[QUOTE]Is your FI close with his sisters? If he is then I would say yes you should include them. FI is not close with both my brothers but they are both in the wedding because it was important for me to have my brother's be part of my wedding.<div>
</div><div> <strong><u> also, would there be enough guys in the wedding to balance everyone out?</u></strong> Do you have any siblings that are part of your wedding? I was in a friend's wedding and I thought it was weird that none of their brother's or sister's were in the wedding until I realized that there were too many and they didn't want to include some and not all. I do know that they gave all their siblings gifts at the wedding to thank them for all their support during the wedding planning.
Posted by pattye14[/QUOTE]
</div><div>What does that have to do with anything? Wedding parties do NOT need to be even. In fact, uneven sides are becoming the norm. What matters is having the most important people to you and your FI by your side while you are saying your vows, not filling spots with arbitrary numbers.</div>
[QUOTE] also, would there be enough guys in the wedding to balance everyone out?
Posted by pattye14[/QUOTE]
This has nothing to do with the price of tea in China. There don't have to be enough guys to "balance out" the girls. Uneven sides in WPs are perfectly fine. You don't need to match sides up. In fact, it's probably not a good idea to try to do that if it doesn't occur naturally since relationships with people should take precedence over having an arbitrary number of people on each side.