The waiting is killing me

shannon5176 · July 2011

We shopped, I chose the ring, he chose the diamond, the ring was ordered and has come in! It is just sitting at the jewelry store until he proposes. I know he is planning and scheming & knows how and when he's going to do it but the waiting is driving me CRAZY! I wish he'd just hurry up already. It's killing me to not be able to tell friends that it's coming or what we're doing for our wedding (our date and location is all set). Is anyone else in this situation and as antsy as I am? LOL

SeaTea02 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:4472f83e-3e85-4c0b-9e9b-ad3abc4dcc52">The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]We shopped, I chose the ring, he chose the diamond, the ring was ordered and has come in! It is just sitting at the jewelry store until he proposes. I know he is planning and scheming & knows how and when he's going to do it but the waiting is driving me CRAZY! I wish he'd just hurry up already. It's killing me to not be able to tell friends that it's coming or what we're doing for our wedding <strong>(our date and location is all set)</strong>. Is anyone else in this situation and as antsy as I am? LOL
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]

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<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/6/91a0f1ca-2396-478b-a66f-317ddb03482e.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '91a0f1ca-2396-478b-a66f-317ddb03482e', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/6/91a0f1ca-2396-478b-a66f-317ddb03482e.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
</div>

CASK85 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:4472f83e-3e85-4c0b-9e9b-ad3abc4dcc52">The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]We shopped, I chose the ring, he chose the diamond, the ring was ordered and has come in! It is just sitting at the jewelry store until he proposes. I know he is planning and scheming & knows how and when he's going to do it but the waiting is driving me CRAZY! I wish he'd just hurry up already. It's killing me to not be able to tell friends that it's coming or what we're doing for our wedding (our date and location is all set). Is anyone else in this situation and as antsy as I am? LOL
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]
Are you engaged?

CASK85 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:05d8b554-c505-4aa0-b6f8-ccc68ddfbe65">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]If you have a date and location, sounds like you are already engaged. Don't need a ring to be engaged.
Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]
They don't need a ring, but I'm pretty sure we've all talked about how they need a mutual agreement that they are indeed engaged. <div>
</div><div>OP, planning a wedding without being engaged is just dumb.</div>

[Deleted User] · July 2011

No, but seriously - just try to keep your mind off of the ring. If you know he already has it (purchased) and you two are already planning your wedding...then it's really just a formality. Ease up a bit and you will enjoy the process even more.

SKP82 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:4472f83e-3e85-4c0b-9e9b-ad3abc4dcc52">The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]We shopped, I chose the ring, he chose the diamond, the ring was ordered and has come in! It is just sitting at the jewelry store until he proposes. I know he is planning and scheming & knows how and when he's going to do it but the waiting is driving me CRAZY! I wish he'd just hurry up already. It's killing me to not be able to tell friends that it's coming or what we're doing for our wedding (our date and location is all set). Is anyone else in this situation and as antsy as I am? LOL
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]

I'm guessing you don't consider yourselves engaged seeing as how you haven't told any of your family about the plans. Therefore, you must feel that the proposal is necessary in order to be engaged. But why are you so antsy if you're already planning? This is all so backwards.

AnneR15 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:4472f83e-3e85-4c0b-9e9b-ad3abc4dcc52">The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]We shopped, I chose the ring, he chose the diamond, the ring was ordered and has come in! It is just sitting at the jewelry store <strong>until he proposes. I know he is planning and scheming & knows how and when he's going to do it but the waiting is driving me CRAZY!</strong> I wish he'd just hurry up already. It's killing me to not be able to tell friends that it's coming or what we're doing for our wedding (our date and location is all set). Is anyone else in this situation and as antsy as I am? LOL
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]

It doesn't sound like she considers herself engaged yet. In which case, I have to wonder why she has a wedding ticker in her signature.

Like PP said, just try not to think about it. Find other things to distract you and enjoy the last few days/weeks/months you have before things really get crazy!

SKP82 · July 2011

Apparently, you've done more planning than just the date and location:

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_aw-picked-up-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:54b5bc3c-58a2-42e7-b8ea-cb07e53a98faPost:463a7a71-f0b2-47dc-8682-ddc33da06332">AW: Picked up my dress!</a>:
[QUOTE]And got to try it on with my hair flower and shoes! I am sooooo excited and soooooooo sad I have to wait 7 more months to wear it! LOL I have to brag about just how lucky I am though.......when I initially tried on the dress it fit perfect except for being too long and maybe needing some bra cups for extra support. Well, I ended up finding the cutest shoes at DSW and cancelled the flat sandals I had ordered. Anyway, in trying it on with the new shoes the length is perfect! The only alterations I'm going to need should be bra cups and the bustle! Wooooooohooooooo
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]

lennonkdc · July 2011

Well obviously you should just keep planning, I'm sure he's just waiting on you to send out the invites...

CASK85 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:48fde19b-a3ee-4498-a27b-a92658700cb0">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]Apparently, you've done more planning than just the date and location: In Response to AW: Picked up my dress! :
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]
In light of this information all I have to say is there is no reason for the OP to be posting here. I think this classic lolcat says it best:
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/3/7/c37801b1-2867-447e-a7af-e5bb07845957.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'c37801b1-2867-447e-a7af-e5bb07845957', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/3/7/c37801b1-2867-447e-a7af-e5bb07845957.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

SeaTea02 · July 2011

Seriously? You have everything BOUGHT and PAID for, not just planned and he STILL has not proposed?

Someone is afraid of commitment...

CASK85 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:086cdbad-8945-4ead-a4a6-4dd4a004047b">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]Seriously? You have everything BOUGHT and PAID for, not just planned and he STILL has not proposed? Someone is afraid of commitment...
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]
You're right. I feel like this is a serious red flag for their relationship. . .

thelamarrs · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:48fde19b-a3ee-4498-a27b-a92658700cb0">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]Apparently, you've done more planning than just the date and location: In Response to AW: Picked up my dress! :
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

<div>is this real life?</div><div>
</div><div>I always wonder why women (trolls) come here to say they are not engaged when they clearly are? With a wedding ticker and the fact you have EVERYTHING picked out and have a date it sounds like you're engaged. </div>

lennonkdc · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:086cdbad-8945-4ead-a4a6-4dd4a004047b">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]Seriously? You have everything BOUGHT and PAID for, not just planned and he STILL has not proposed? Someone is afraid of commitment...
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]

<div>I would say that someone is afraid of being <em>dragged</em> against his will into commitment.</div><div>If she slowed her roll he might have popped the question...</div>

Swazzle · July 2011

CASK85 · July 2011

Also, in response to the title of this post "the waiting is killing me" . . . you haven't waited for anything!! You've just plowed ahead with planning your wedding - so you might as well keep on truckin'. . . you're not fooling us saying that you're waiting for the ring, because YOU'RE NOT WAITING!

To answer your question, no, No one who posts regularly on this board is in your situation because they're not nuts.

SKP82 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:13ebd5a9-f433-421a-b40b-3734390e792b">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The waiting is killing me : is this real life? I always wonder why women (trolls) come here to say they are not engaged when they clearly are? <strong>With a wedding ticker and the fact you have EVERYTHING picked out and have a date it sounds like you're engaged.
</strong>Posted by thelamarrs[/QUOTE]

I really, really dislike this rationale. From the post, it sounds like the OP does NOT consider herself engaged. Meaning, her and her SO have not agreed on it. They may have agreed that they would like to get married, but it seems as though her SO would like to propose before considering them engaged.

Saying that because someone has a ticker and a dress, she's engaged just bothers me. So I could pull out a random date, put up a ticker, and buy some things and you would consider me to be engaged? No. I would be BSC and planning before engagement.

I think that if someone is expecting a proposal of marriage, she can't yet consider herself to be engaged.

AudgiePodge · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:ee2351e4-e426-4479-a4a1-fd4e2d45817b">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The waiting is killing me : I really, really dislike this rationale. From the post, it sounds like the OP does NOT consider herself engaged. Meaning, her and her SO have not agreed that on it. They may have agreed that they would like to get married, but it seems as though her SO would like to propose before considering them engaged. Saying that because someone has a ticker and a dress, she's engaged just bothers me. So I could pull out a random date, put up a ticker, and buy some things and you would consider me to be engaged? No. I would be BSC and planning before engagement. I think that if someone is expecting a proposal of marriage, she can't yet consider herself to be engaged.
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh, yes.</div>

csousa1 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:ee2351e4-e426-4479-a4a1-fd4e2d45817b">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The waiting is killing me : I really, really dislike this rationale. From the post, it sounds like the OP does NOT consider herself engaged. Meaning, her and her SO have not agreed that on it. They may have agreed that they would like to get married, but it seems as though her SO would like to propose before considering them engaged. Saying that because someone has a ticker and a dress, she's engaged just bothers me. So I could pull out a random date, put up a ticker, and buy some things and you would consider me to be engaged? No. <strong> I would be BSC and planning before engagement. I think that if someone is expecting a proposal of marriage, she can't yet consider herself to be engaged</strong>.
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

Correct me if I am wrong, but I took her post to mean the bolded part exactly. It sounded more to me like lamarrs was being facetious and saying, "Well if you have everything planned, you MUST be engaged, because only engaged people should plan weddings!" Kinda like we do when we are being sarcastic with the OP, ya know? <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

Or I could be completely off base, wouldn't be the first time.

wink0erin · July 2011

I'd say it's BSC if her BF/FI doesn't know about the planning and purchases, and it's engaged w/o ring (and a formality) if hes proposed and/or he's helping with planning too (not like... Yes yes blue and pink are FINE colors, now let me get back to watching Iron Man plz). but then again in that case you'd still have to consider yourselves engaged to be "engaged w/o ring"

Some people (like family) might not consider them engaged until there is a ring, but this sounds more like the OP doesn't think she's engaged until she has a ring... but she's already buying wedding stuff and planning big time.

I think we need an in-depth BSC guide if there isn't one yet!

Also.... Liv... we need the flowchart!

IrishDreamer · July 2011

First off, Ollie and Cschiano's LOLCats kill me...those are effin hysterical and need to be posted in every BSC post.

Second, DUUUUUUUUUUDE, seriously?? I'm thinking BF is thinking you are a little more than a little BSC. You are rushing something that is not meant to be rushed. You ain't engaged if he ain't on the same page. Simple.
Slow your roll and chill the eff out, lady.

If I pulled any of that kind of stuff without BF proposing...he'd probably call the whole thing off! It's a big step, and he should be allowed to have time to adjust to the changes that are pending....

Ollie08 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:e18121bc-5922-4310-8c8d-65c1dcd8b607">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The waiting is killing me : Correct me if I am wrong, but I took her post to mean the bolded part exactly. It sounded more to me like lamarrs was being facetious and saying, "Well if you have everything planned, you MUST be engaged, because only engaged people should plan weddings!" Kinda like we do when we are being sarcastic with the OP, ya know? Or I could be completely off base, wouldn't be the first time.
Posted by csousa1[/QUOTE]
I agree with you csousa. I didn't take it that way.

SeaTea02 · July 2011

Wink, would you buy baby clothes before you were pregnant just because you and your SO agree to try and have a child? Same thing.

I kind of agree with SKP, just because you buy those clothes it doens't mean you are pregnant.

If your BF isn't proposing and you have all this junk planned with his knowledge, it means he isn't ready to marry you. I think men and women can both propose or it can be a mutual agreement. I am not saying that. This OP is waiting for her BF to propose, meaning it is his decision. One he hasn't made yet. Therapy people.

SKP82 · July 2011

I didn't take Lamar's comment as being sarcastic. Which means that the OP may not pick up on it, either, and take it seriously. Like, "Oh, I am planning the wedding. I must be engaged! We DID talk about it and say that we both wanted to get married." That's why I dislike those statements.

I agree that an engagement is a mutual agreement to get married and begin planning, but if you're still WAITING for a proposal, how can you consider yourself engaged? I understand the situation if he's going to be presenting a ring to you at some point, but then it's just a piece of jewelry he's giving you. You have already agreed to get married - why would he ask you again??

wink0erin · July 2011

Sea, No, I wouldn't buy baby clothes before getting pregnant, kind of like I wouldn't plan a flippin wedding before getting engaged!

I just think there's a difference between being BSC and engaged w/o a ring. Like it can feel complicated for the couple when family and friends are all "You're engaged, yay! Wait, no ring? IT'S NOT VALID! OMGWTFBBQ!!!1!"

OP is BSC though, since it sounds like no one considers them to be engaged, including her and her BF.

EDIT: Added clarification... and methnks if couple thinks they are engaged (BOTH members of the couple) then they are indeed engaged. If they thnk they are not engaged and still need a proposal... then they are BSC for pre-planning.

shannon5176 · July 2011

I do NOT consider myself "officially engaged" until I have the ring. Although you could probably say we are unofficially engaged considering he has bought the ring and is helping to plan. He's actually VERY involved in the wedding plans and contributing financially. I am in no way planning behind his back. LOL

I thought the "not yet engaged" board would be the place to talk about my excitement. I haven't received this kind of judgement on any of the other boards and HAVE mentioned not having the ring yet.

shannon5176 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:05d8b554-c505-4aa0-b6f8-ccc68ddfbe65">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]If you have a date and location, sounds like you are already engaged. Don't need a ring to be engaged.
Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]

If the definition of "engaged" means "planning the wedding" then I guess by some standards I am.

CASK85 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:3e741ac3-9d71-44b5-9071-8a996050ebd3">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]I do NOT consider myself "officially engaged" until I have the ring. Although you could probably say we are unofficially engaged considering he has bought the ring and is helping to plan. He's actually VERY involved in the wedding plans and contributing financially. I am in no way planning behind his back. LOL I thought the "not yet engaged" board would be the place to talk about my excitement. I haven't received this kind of judgement on any of the other boards and HAVE mentioned not having the ring yet.
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]
Have you mentioned on other boards that you don't consider yourself engaged? <div>
</div><div>You can do whatever the hell you want to. None of us can stop you. But we're not going to let this slide and let other girls think it is an okay behavior. So. . . there you have it. I will reference the cat picture I posted above - gtfo and take your fail with you.</div>

ravenray · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_waiting-killing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7eefe3ab-d255-42e8-b195-c0d869fe5036Post:3e741ac3-9d71-44b5-9071-8a996050ebd3">Re: The waiting is killing me</a>:
[QUOTE]I do NOT consider myself "officially engaged" until I have the ring. Although you could probably say we are <strong>unofficially engaged</strong> considering he has bought the ring and is helping to plan. He's actually VERY involved in the wedding plans and contributing financially. I am in no way planning behind his back. LOL I thought the "not yet engaged" board would be the place to talk about my excitement. I haven't received this kind of judgement on any of the other boards and HAVE mentioned not having the ring yet.
Posted by shannon5176[/QUOTE]

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/3/a4684ba7-a969-4864-93a3-df0d000572f6.large.png" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'a4684ba7-a969-4864-93a3-df0d000572f6', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/3/a4684ba7-a969-4864-93a3-df0d000572f6.medium.png" alt="" /></a>

wink0erin · July 2011

Poor kitties =(

shannon5176 · July 2011

Now I'm being told to "grow the f*ck up"? Yeah, because saying that to me is really mature of you.

Every relationship is different and everyone has different beliefs. I have no issue with anyone having a different belief than me if it's communicated in a friendly manner. But for people to make assumptions about my boyfriend "not being ready" and me planning behind his back is completely unnecessary.

Anyway, I'm not going to be concerned with what a bunch of strangers on a message board think of my relationship with someone I have been with for 3.5 years and known for even longer.

The waiting is killing me

Re: The waiting is killing me

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