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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Miss_Sophia
member
it happened... they added their kids to the rsvp
Ugh.... And I did try finding good ways to respond on the boards but I couldn't find any that I felt worked in this case.
FI and I decided the only kids invited to our wedding would be my first cousins that are under 21 (there's 4 boys) and his neice and 2 nephews. Other then that no children were put on any part of any invitation.
FI cousin and his wife who live 2 hours away sent their RSVP to my parents house (they are paying for the reception) and added their kids' names. a 3 and a 5 year old. It probably wouldn't have been a big deal if they were the only ones but my mom's cousin (who is also my godmother) called her and asked if she could bring her kids. My mom told her no.
So we don't want some people bringing their kids when others were clearly told they couldn't. What's the best way to word an email or conversation to let them know we would still love for them to come but that their kids can't.
I should also mention that FI and his cousin have never been really close and they haven't talked in over 2 years. I am baffled at this situation even though I know it is a pretty common occurance.
thanks
FI and I decided the only kids invited to our wedding would be my first cousins that are under 21 (there's 4 boys) and his neice and 2 nephews. Other then that no children were put on any part of any invitation.
FI cousin and his wife who live 2 hours away sent their RSVP to my parents house (they are paying for the reception) and added their kids' names. a 3 and a 5 year old. It probably wouldn't have been a big deal if they were the only ones but my mom's cousin (who is also my godmother) called her and asked if she could bring her kids. My mom told her no.
So we don't want some people bringing their kids when others were clearly told they couldn't. What's the best way to word an email or conversation to let them know we would still love for them to come but that their kids can't.
I should also mention that FI and his cousin have never been really close and they haven't talked in over 2 years. I am baffled at this situation even though I know it is a pretty common occurance.
thanks
This discussion has been closed.
Re: it happened... they added their kids to the rsvp
You're right that it's rude to allow some people to bring children and not others. If they choose not to come because their children aren't invited, that's not something you should feel responsible for.
"Hi Suzy! We're so excited to see you and Jim at the wedding. Unfortunately, it looks like there's some confusion about little Abby and Daniel. We're really just not able to invite everyone with whom we'd like to celebrate, so unfortunately we won't be able to accommodate the kids. We'd love to have dinner with all four of you once we're back from the honeymoon, though!"
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
[QUOTE]Ugh.... And I did try finding good ways to respond on the boards but I couldn't find any that I felt worked in this case.<strong> FI and I decided the only kids invited to our wedding would be my first cousins that are under 21 (there's 4 boys) and his neice and 2 nephews. Other then that no children were put on any part of any invitation.</strong> FI cousin and his wife who live 2 hours away sent their RSVP to my parents house (they are paying for the reception) and added their kids' names. a 3 and a 5 year old. It probably wouldn't have been a big deal if they were the only ones but my mom's cousin (who is also my godmother) called her and asked if she could bring her kids. My mom told her no. So we don't want some people bringing their kids when others were clearly told they couldn't. What's the best way to word an email or conversation to let them know we would still love for them to come but that their kids can't. I should also mention that FI and his cousin have never been really close and they haven't talked in over 2 years. I am baffled at this situation even though I know it is a pretty common occurance. thanks :)
Posted by Miss_Sophia[/QUOTE]
Also, you might want to expect some backlash over the bolded part. You are inviting some kids but not all kids which could get very nasty. I'm not saying you have to change it, just be prepared for some side eyes from people who left their kids with the sitter or family gossip after the fact. I could see cousin not coming then hearing from another family member there were kids there and getting hurt.
House / Baby blog
If we did invite everyone else's kids it would add about 50 more people to our guest list which if we had the room I would rather give to friends and family with whom we have a relationship with.