My MOH hasn't done anything for a bridal shower for me. I'm getting married in less than a month. She asked a while ago about a bachelorette party, but I'm not into the stripper thing and just told her that. Meanwhile, though only 1 of 4 bridesmaids are local, NO ONE has asked about hosting a bridal shower or even doing a bridal party spa day or lunch. I'm so depressed and disappointed by this. I feelike I picked the wrong ladies to be in my wedding but it's now too late.
Has anyone experienced this?
Re: No bridal shower, no bachelorette party
My mom threw my shower with the help of my MOH and BM's, but there was no way my bridal party could have afforded to throw me a shower on their own, but they helped out with the details.
Also, maybe they're throwing you a surprise shower? Concentrate on planning your wedding and stop stressing about something you can't control. And don't ever think you chose the wrong BP. You chose the girls you are closest to and want to stand up with you on your wedding day, that's what's most important not whether or not they shell out a ton of money and plan these parties for you. It's very expensive to be an MOH or a BM in a wedding. You have to buy a dress, shoes, jewelery, possibly pay for hair and make up, possible travel to the wedding, and throwing a bridal shower and bachelorette on top of all that is completely of the cards for most young 20 something girls who are new in their career. Nevermind gifts to the shower and the wedding.. it adds up quick!
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...please allow me to vent....None of my bridemaids are in their 20s. We are all established women over 30 (I'm getting married a little later than most). I guess all I wanted was a discussion about the showers or lack thereof. You know? Just someone saying, "hey, we're not going to be able to do this for you because of x, y,and z" (basically all of the expenses you listed). But they've said NOTHING. I even had to follow up 2-3 times with 3 of the BMs for the RSVP to the wedding.. I needed the entree count for the caterer. I guess they were all too busy to return the RSVP cards on time. I just feel like they're in their own world (and I know I am too). Just this one time in my life....just this one time.... I wanted to feel special by them. I wanted them to be a little more sensitive to my questions or needs. I'm not a bridezilla at all. In fact, I'm just going to sit back and do what I need to do and just see them at the wedding. If they need me, they know where I am.
I just feel like this special time in MYlife is just any old time to them. I've hardly heard from my sister who's my MOH#1 (which is typical), and my other BM is MIA unless I e-mail her and follow up with a text. She responds to the text only.
They'll be there at the wedding all dolled up (I'm buying their accessories and hair appts), but I feel like I will be the one dotting the "i"s and crossing the "t"s because they will drop the ball or don't even know how to carry it.
3 of my BMs have been married before and they had special celebrations, which I flew down to attend and participate in. So, they know what it's like to feel special and have a celebration just for them.
I know. I'll got back to it: What you've said is true and that's all there is to it. I just wish it were different. ..........I know I can't control that. So, I'll just suck it up like I always do.
PS. My fiance has been wonderful, supportive and somewhat disappointed in the girls too. But, he's putting a positive spin on us and how we are going to live happily ever after together. So, ultimately, it is good.
I would be disappointed too and you aren't wrong for feeling that way. Just make sure you are focused on the important things like marrying FI and sharing that day with your loved ones
Because that's really the only question that needs to be asked here.
I agree that they may be planning a surprise shower for you. I've seen quite a few surprise ones, including my cousin's that was only a week before her wedding. I'm sure she thought she wasn't going to have one.
When your friend asked about the bachelorette party maybe you should've said something like, "yeah I'd love a party, just with no strippers". Maybe she took your answer as a "no, I don't want a bachelorette party". So if anyone asks again, just make it clear you would enjoy it, but it's not something you're expecting.
Thank you so much for your empathy. Your responses that you know how I feel makes me feel better. I'm not looking for an extravagant anything at all. Just thought that it would've been nice to have a little something.
I'm keeping my eye on the prize: my wonderful fiance, supportive parents & brother, and a beautiful wedding ceremony & reception.
Thanks Ladies..