The dollar dance. Is it tacky?

erincassidy06 · February 2010

I really like the theory behind the dollar dance, the getting to dance with as many guest as you can. But is is tacky to make it for money? Your guest have already given you a present. IDK what do you think?

opalsky007 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0a630ed-93ca-4bf3-bf30-2142ec68f90cPost:216ca892-3094-4844-a039-775dcadd2b2d">Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, it's tacky. I don't care if it's regional. If you want to have people dance with you, just HAVE THEM DANCE WITH YOU. Leave the money making prospects out of it.
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]

My thoughts exactly. MIL was nearly in tears when I told her I didn't want to do a dollar dance. Somehow in her head, me wanting to dance with people for free = calling her a tacky bitch. That was a fun weekend.

FutureMrsTR · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0a630ed-93ca-4bf3-bf30-2142ec68f90cPost:175df5ce-2882-440e-9d27-1b8720139028">Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky? : I think that people usually give more than a dollar. I know someone who did a dollar dance and I think the smallest bill she got was a $20.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

Well in <em>that</em> case...momma does need a new pair of black heels! ;)

ohwhynot · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0a630ed-93ca-4bf3-bf30-2142ec68f90cPost:1bdbd11e-a852-44ad-8486-58aa34108fa4">Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally, as a guest, I think its fun. Because otherwise you don't really get the chance to dance with the bride or groom. But as a bride, I find it tacky and I plan to skip it.
Posted by MissLeahM[/QUOTE]

That's very interesting, and probably a good point. We'll be visiting every table, trying to dance a few dances ourselves, dancing with our siblings, and trying to dance with other folks but really . . . people won't want to cut in if they see me dancing with, say, my brother or uncle and may not get a dance if they want one.

What do y'all think of having your dj/band member announce a "cut-in dance" where people are free to cut in and take you for a twirl without mentioning anything about it being a dollar dance?

SarahPLiz · February 2010

Usually its more than a dollar, and in our circle, its pinned on the bride and groom as you dance with them. I think it is meant as an additional gift to help you in your new life together. I only remember one wedding that didn't have one. Usually there are safety pins by the door when you come in, and everyone knows what they are for.

opalsky007 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0a630ed-93ca-4bf3-bf30-2142ec68f90cPost:f9c4cdca-3203-4f53-94de-9362bf7b30af">Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]Usually its more than a dollar, and in our circle, its pinned on the bride and groom as you dance with them. I think it is meant as an additional gift to help you in your new life together. I only remember one wedding that didn't have one. Usually there are safety pins by the door when you come in, and everyone knows what they are for.
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

Aww, hell no. No way would I let anyone safety pin anything to my dress.

whitneykaye87 · February 2010

Not my cup of tea, but it's pretty common around here. My only recommendation for someone who's doing one: keep it short! I once saw the dollar dance last for nearly a half hour. Not fun for anyone, including the bride and groom.

JessAndTrav · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0a630ed-93ca-4bf3-bf30-2142ec68f90cPost:207e681a-1c3e-473d-a56a-75478c8b160e">Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky? : That's very interesting, and probably a good point. We'll be visiting every table, trying to dance a few dances ourselves, dancing with our siblings, and trying to dance with other folks but really . . . people won't want to cut in if they see me dancing with, say, my brother or uncle and may not get a dance if they want one. <strong>What do y'all think of having your dj/band member announce a "cut-in dance" where people are free to cut in and take you for a twirl without mentioning anything about it being a dollar dance? </strong>
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

Why not just go around and talk to people? Not everyone can dance, and you're going to be getting tired anyway.

We've gotten compliments on the fact that we went to every single table and spoke to each individual guest. I think that makes it less awkward for the guest.

SarahPLiz · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0a630ed-93ca-4bf3-bf30-2142ec68f90cPost:366549cd-5490-442f-b1d0-5e0d2316fffe">Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky? : Aww, hell no. No way would I let anyone safety pin anything to my dress.
Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]

That is my opinion too. I was just reporting what is done in my culture.

FMIL told me that their version involved her going around to all the men in the room (most of whom she didn't know) and begging for money, which they shoved down the top of her dress. She said it was the most humiliating thing she has ever done and told me not to feel pressured to have that Romanian tradition at our reception.
In their culture, however, the reception is something that basically the whole town is invited to, and its meant as a fundraiser for the bride and groom. It is not considered tacky there at all.

CCBelle · February 2010

I have never seen it done, and I had honestly never heard of it before TK. Personally, I think it sounds tacky.

Bubbalub · February 2010

It is not the norm in our area and I've only seen it done once, when my uncle wed his first wife. None of his family knew what the hell we were supposed to do, but apparently where she was from (I don't remember where, it was a long time ago) it's common.

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

Just dance with your guests for free.

stillundecided4 · February 2010

I don't think a dollar dance is tacky if it's the norm and tradition in your family. I think it's fun!

I do think a dollar dance at a birthday party is tacky. Yes, my uncle had a dollar dance at his 75th birthday party. I did not participate in that one.

[Deleted User] · February 2010

My mom is hell-bent on the dollar dance, and so far this is the only thing she's pushed. We'll probably do it even though it seems a little grabby-grabby to me. However, guaranteed the only way you're gonna get me to dance with anyone other than my FI and dad is to pay me.

I HATE being touched, it gives me near panic attacks, so I better be getting something out of a bunch of dances. I realize that sounds horribly selfish and greedy, but the thought so much attention being directed on me while having to dance....ugh, makes me shudder just thinking about it.

sarahmk5 · February 2010

Both FI and I have never been to a wedding without one. We plan on having it, and it's even a bit of a production past "Pay a dollar, dance, go away. We don't pin money on people's garments - the MOH holds the brides veil, and the guests put money into it. The bride wears a babushka, and as people finish dancing with her, they form a circle. After everyone is done dancing, it's the groom's job to break through to get to his bride. I've never heard any of my relatives complain about it's tackiness, but it's extremely common in my region.

luckyme502 · February 2010

We are doing a dollar dance at our wedding. I am Polish, and it would be very disappointing to my family if we didn't have one. Also, for me, it's not about the money, it's about everyone who wants to will have a chance to dance with me or FI. We don't care if they give us a dollar or not.

MissLeahM · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0a630ed-93ca-4bf3-bf30-2142ec68f90cPost:c9769cfd-64bb-454e-b98d-b2801deb980f">Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom is hell-bent on the dollar dance, and so far this is the only thing she's pushed. We'll probably do it even though it seems a little grabby-grabby to me. However, guaranteed the only way you're gonna get me to dance with anyone other than my FI and dad is to pay me. <strong>I HATE being touched, it gives me near panic attacks</strong>, so I better be getting something out of a bunch of dances. I realize that sounds horribly selfish and greedy, but the thought so much attention being directed on me while having to dance....ugh, makes me shudder just thinking about it.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Then don't do it. I'm sure your mother will get over it.

My mother was pushing it, but I told her I was uncomfortable with it. She pouted a bit but moved on.

bbyckes · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0a630ed-93ca-4bf3-bf30-2142ec68f90cPost:c45bb7bf-00eb-4c16-ac93-fc8125902d57">Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's tacky and I'm Filipino. We Filipinos do dollar dances like there's no tomorrow. <strong>I don't give a crap how common it is but sorry, I'm not comfortable with dancing with other people to begin with let alone dance with people just to get more cash.
</strong>Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]

This. Other than the fact that I'm not Filipino. It is very common in my circle, but we're not doing it.

cukimerrydoll · February 2010

If they really want me to do a "dollar dance," they can do a regular dance and give me a dollar.

My dress has pockets. And I always have a bra.

ac_in_dc · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0a630ed-93ca-4bf3-bf30-2142ec68f90cPost:8f46e778-dbec-4335-b98d-f6ea94dfaa5e">Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]Before The Knot, I've never heard of a dollar dance. From what I've heard I think it's pretty tacky. But I'm still not completely sure what a dollar dance is. I don't understand the point. And I don't understand this: "I really like the theory behind the dollar dance, the getting to dance with your guest part..." Why do you need a dollar dance to dance with your guest?
Posted by angiebear11[/QUOTE]

I think you're more able to dance with your guests through something like this b/c you only dance with each person for like 30 seconds or something.

<div align="left">Makes sense that it's Polish, b/c most of the weddings I've seen this at were in PA. I've also seen them at a few Filipino weddings. The best man or the MOH usually hold up some kind of collection vessel for the $$, I've never seen it pinned on the bride or groom.

ETA: and if it's a fairly young couple and it's the norm in the area/social circle, I don't think it's tacky.
</div>

NuggetBrain · February 2010

It seems to be a norm here (at least there was one at every wedding we went to). And both Noodle and his family want to do it. So we're doing it, but making an announcement that all the money from the dollar dance is being donated to the American Lung Association in memory of my grandpa. Because I'm still not totally comfortable with the idea, but at least this way I don't feel as bad.

danieliza1127 · February 2010

If there was an option to vote "depends", that what I would say. I think it really depends on whether your friends and family are familiar with it and whether it's common in your area. If it's not, don't do it. If it's common at weddings of friends and family, you could do it.

You could also do it without collecting any money, if you just want to dance with as many guests as you can.

pumpkinpumpkin · February 2010

I'd like the 17 people who said "fun" to come forward and identify themselves.

ootmother2 · February 2010

I've only attended one wedding witha dollar dance as it's not common where I live or in my ethnic background. I wouldn't flame anyone doing it for those reasons. I don't have strong feelings about it

kat112 · February 2010

Pumpkin, I DID! And it wasn't about the money...at all! If it were, it would be called the Hundred Dolla Bill Dance. No one was forced to do it.

It was the perfect way to get to have a quick dance with everyone who wanted to dance with us. We did it to polka music and had a blast!

Anthriel22 · February 2010

I think it is very tacky, and along the same lines as including registry cards in your invites. If you cant let people know where you are registered, or let them know you would prefer cash to gifts, then how is it okay to charge them to dance with you at your wedding? Its asking for more money than they have already spent on you and i think it is rude. I wont neccesarily flame anyone for doing it, but I definitely dont agree with it. I have been to a couple weddings with the money dance, and I did not participate, yet it made me feel awkward, and it was also incredibly boring to sit there and wait for that dance to be over with. Also, all the other weddings I have been at, I have had a chance to dance and jump around with the bride and groom without the dollar dance.

IMO, dollar dance = asking for money, and I dont feel comfortable doing it.

tenofcups4me · February 2010

I echo Dani with the "Depends" answer. I wouldn't do it at my wedding. I've never see one done so it's obviously not a tradition among my friends and family.

But if it was something that was done at every wedding I attended and something that friends and family were looking forward to... sure, I'd do it.

I think it's extremely tacky if a couple is just appropriating another culture's tradition to make a few extra bucks. But it's not tacky if it's something that's expected in your culture.

kat112 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0a630ed-93ca-4bf3-bf30-2142ec68f90cPost:ca06228b-c872-4ce9-a5d8-4c2019086113">Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]IIMO, dollar dance = asking for money, and I dont feel comfortable doing it.
Posted by Anthriel22[/QUOTE]

Aren't you having a cash bar and not giving your wedding party the option of bringing a date? In my mind those things are way more tacky than a dollar dance.

squirrly · February 2010

Not doing it. At all. For any reason. And I really, really, really, really hate it as a guest when other people have them. I can't fathom a situation where it would really, truly be ok. I refuse to participate when people have them.

1) I already gave a gift.
2) I don't like dancing with people besides FI, really.
3) It's usually about 3 seconds per person, which is just a waste.
4) I don't carry cash.

If it's your thing - ok. I'm not gonna call you out in FFF for it or anything. But, if I were at your wedding, I would judge.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

Just because people do it in your area - well, that means your guests won't be repulsed by it. It doesn't make it proper etiquette to ask for money from people.

Anthriel22 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b0a630ed-93ca-4bf3-bf30-2142ec68f90cPost:aadab183-b31e-4f2f-8c16-a66e296b20af">Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky? : Aren't you having a cash bar and not giving your wedding party the option of bringing a date? In my mind those things are way more tacky than a dollar dance.
Posted by kat112[/QUOTE]

kat, i am sorry that you feel the need to lash out at those with differing opinons than yours.

FYI, neither thing you accused me of is true, so try not to go around attacking people when you dont know the facts.

To each his own, you like something that i dont...no need to be hostile....

The dollar dance. Is it tacky?

Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?

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