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Wedding Etiquette Forum
The dollar dance. Is it tacky?
I really like the theory behind the dollar dance, the getting to dance with as many guest as you can. But is is tacky to make it for money? Your guest have already given you a present. IDK what do you think?
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Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky?
[QUOTE]Yes, it's tacky. I don't care if it's regional. If you want to have people dance with you, just HAVE THEM DANCE WITH YOU. Leave the money making prospects out of it.
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]
My thoughts exactly. MIL was nearly in tears when I told her I didn't want to do a dollar dance. Somehow in her head, me wanting to dance with people for free = calling her a tacky bitch. That was a fun weekend.
Miss Mrs.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky? : I think that people usually give more than a dollar. I know someone who did a dollar dance and I think the smallest bill she got was a $20.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]
Well in <em>that</em> case...momma does need a new pair of black heels! ;)
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[QUOTE]Personally, as a guest, I think its fun. Because otherwise you don't really get the chance to dance with the bride or groom. But as a bride, I find it tacky and I plan to skip it.
Posted by MissLeahM[/QUOTE]
That's very interesting, and probably a good point. We'll be visiting every table, trying to dance a few dances ourselves, dancing with our siblings, and trying to dance with other folks but really . . . people won't want to cut in if they see me dancing with, say, my brother or uncle and may not get a dance if they want one.
What do y'all think of having your dj/band member announce a "cut-in dance" where people are free to cut in and take you for a twirl without mentioning anything about it being a dollar dance?
[QUOTE]Usually its more than a dollar, and in our circle, its pinned on the bride and groom as you dance with them. I think it is meant as an additional gift to help you in your new life together. I only remember one wedding that didn't have one. Usually there are safety pins by the door when you come in, and everyone knows what they are for.
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]
Aww, hell no. No way would I let anyone safety pin anything to my dress.
Miss Mrs.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky? : That's very interesting, and probably a good point. We'll be visiting every table, trying to dance a few dances ourselves, dancing with our siblings, and trying to dance with other folks but really . . . people won't want to cut in if they see me dancing with, say, my brother or uncle and may not get a dance if they want one. <strong>What do y'all think of having your dj/band member announce a "cut-in dance" where people are free to cut in and take you for a twirl without mentioning anything about it being a dollar dance? </strong>
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]
Why not just go around and talk to people? Not everyone can dance, and you're going to be getting tired anyway.
We've gotten compliments on the fact that we went to every single table and spoke to each individual guest. I think that makes it less awkward for the guest.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky? : Aww, hell no. No way would I let anyone safety pin anything to my dress.
Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]
That is my opinion too. I was just reporting what is done in my culture.
FMIL told me that their version involved her going around to all the men in the room (most of whom she didn't know) and begging for money, which they shoved down the top of her dress. She said it was the most humiliating thing she has ever done and told me not to feel pressured to have that Romanian tradition at our reception.
In their culture, however, the reception is something that basically the whole town is invited to, and its meant as a fundraiser for the bride and groom. It is not considered tacky there at all.
~My Married Bio~
I HATE being touched, it gives me near panic attacks, so I better be getting something out of a bunch of dances. I realize that sounds horribly selfish and greedy, but the thought so much attention being directed on me while having to dance....ugh, makes me shudder just thinking about it.
Bio
We are doing a dollar dance at our wedding. I am Polish, and it would be very disappointing to my family if we didn't have one. Also, for me, it's not about the money, it's about everyone who wants to will have a chance to dance with me or FI. We don't care if they give us a dollar or not.
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[QUOTE]My mom is hell-bent on the dollar dance, and so far this is the only thing she's pushed. We'll probably do it even though it seems a little grabby-grabby to me. However, guaranteed the only way you're gonna get me to dance with anyone other than my FI and dad is to pay me. <strong>I HATE being touched, it gives me near panic attacks</strong>, so I better be getting something out of a bunch of dances. I realize that sounds horribly selfish and greedy, but the thought so much attention being directed on me while having to dance....ugh, makes me shudder just thinking about it.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]
Then don't do it. I'm sure your mother will get over it.
My mother was pushing it, but I told her I was uncomfortable with it. She pouted a bit but moved on.
[QUOTE]I think it's tacky and I'm Filipino. We Filipinos do dollar dances like there's no tomorrow. <strong>I don't give a crap how common it is but sorry, I'm not comfortable with dancing with other people to begin with let alone dance with people just to get more cash.
</strong>Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]
This. Other than the fact that I'm not Filipino. It is very common in my circle, but we're not doing it.
My dress has pockets. And I always have a bra.
[QUOTE]Before The Knot, I've never heard of a dollar dance. From what I've heard I think it's pretty tacky. But I'm still not completely sure what a dollar dance is. I don't understand the point. And I don't understand this: "I really like the theory behind the dollar dance, the getting to dance with your guest part..." Why do you need a dollar dance to dance with your guest?
Posted by angiebear11[/QUOTE]
I think you're more able to dance with your guests through something like this b/c you only dance with each person for like 30 seconds or something.
<div align="left">Makes sense that it's Polish, b/c most of the weddings I've seen this at were in PA. I've also seen them at a few Filipino weddings. The best man or the MOH usually hold up some kind of collection vessel for the $$, I've never seen it pinned on the bride or groom.
ETA: and if it's a fairly young couple and it's the norm in the area/social circle, I don't think it's tacky.
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You could also do it without collecting any money, if you just want to dance with as many guests as you can.
It was the perfect way to get to have a quick dance with everyone who wanted to dance with us. We did it to polka music and had a blast!
IMO, dollar dance = asking for money, and I dont feel comfortable doing it.
But if it was something that was done at every wedding I attended and something that friends and family were looking forward to... sure, I'd do it.
I think it's extremely tacky if a couple is just appropriating another culture's tradition to make a few extra bucks. But it's not tacky if it's something that's expected in your culture.
[QUOTE]IIMO, dollar dance = asking for money, and I dont feel comfortable doing it.
Posted by Anthriel22[/QUOTE]
Aren't you having a cash bar and not giving your wedding party the option of bringing a date? In my mind those things are way more tacky than a dollar dance.
1) I already gave a gift.
2) I don't like dancing with people besides FI, really.
3) It's usually about 3 seconds per person, which is just a waste.
4) I don't carry cash.
If it's your thing - ok. I'm not gonna call you out in FFF for it or anything. But, if I were at your wedding, I would judge.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The dollar dance. Is it tacky? : Aren't you having a cash bar and not giving your wedding party the option of bringing a date? In my mind those things are way more tacky than a dollar dance.
Posted by kat112[/QUOTE]
kat, i am sorry that you feel the need to lash out at those with differing opinons than yours.
FYI, neither thing you accused me of is true, so try not to go around attacking people when you dont know the facts.
To each his own, you like something that i dont...no need to be hostile....