My fiance is so angry at me/my mom because she is throwing us an engagement party where only the bridal party (groomsmen and bridesmaids) and immediate families are invited. She explained to me that she cannot accomodate dates as well because she is on a budget. The engagement party is going to be catered and my mom wants to make it classy but small.
My fiance thinks that dates should be allowed (but not even my own sister is bringing her boyfriend of 4 years and she is fine with it!) and he also wants to invite a whole bunch of his (extended) family members too. Aside from the saving money aspect, it would be all too confusing to decide who would get invited to the engagement party and who wouldn't if we started including friends and other family members (my extended family alone would be about 50 people).
From my perspective, my fiance doesn't have a leg to stand on. This is a GIFT which is not in our control. If my mother and father only want to invite those people, there's nothing we can do about it. We should be grateful that they're throwing us a party at all. On top of that, I don't think it's ridiculous that our guests can't bring dates because how illogical is it for us to have someone there that we've only know for 3 weeks and not have our cousins, uncles, etc. that we are closer with. That's why cutting it off at immediate families and bridal party (only) also makes sense to me. But at the end of the day, we have no control over it anyway! And we shouldn't! Am I wrong in my thinking? Is my mother wrong?
Trying to do things with grace, ettiquette and tact is seemingly a tougher job than I originally thought...