In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing

annakb8 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:31d91929-444d-4fbc-ad6d-c2b188a551c7">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]. When I was younger, I used to pray that I could be anorexic or bulimic. How stupid is that? I know Andy's got anorexia in her family and it's so traumatic and unhealthy, but I'm so enamored (to this day) by stories of anorexia and bulimia. In my mind - and I know it's so incorrect - people who can "control" their weight like that are stronger than me. When I go to the gym,
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

I can totally relate to this. So many of the girls I grew up with and went to collge with had eating disorders, and while I knew that they were hurting themselves and they were unhealthy, I still kind of envied their ability to be skinny and their willpower. Of couse I'm very happy I never developed an eating disorder, but I still understand where you're coming from.

[Deleted User] · April 2011

My H likes that I Knot. At first he was all "OMG these strangers are going to steal your soul!" Then we started chatting on FB and other boards, giving Christmas gifts, etc, and he realized it was an actual community where I had actual friends (which I don't have IRL). So now he thinks it's great and encourages me to talk to "the girls" as he called everyone. he's even looking forward to our GTG so he can put faces to all the names I throw at him on a daily basis.

And re: stretch marks. I have them on my butt/side thigh. I have no idea why, but I'm guessing from getting sick and dropping so much weight, then gaining it back. They piss me off. I didn't even have a kid and I have the stretch marks like I did.

mkrupar · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:91bcd712-35ee-471e-9508-28d6ac5143fa">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]FYI - the first-time homebuyer status resets after 3 years, so if it has been that long since Lucas sold his previous home you are both considered first-timers. I confess I haven't read all 4 pages of this thread yet, so someone may have already pointed this out.
Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

Yeah, unfortunately his house sold in October of '09 and we bought in March of '10. We looked into that.

emilyinchile · April 2011

I confess that I've never had to work at my weight - I was chubby as a kid (no, really) and then just got slimmer through high school and college, which is basically what my dad did - and don't know how I'll deal with the eventual slowing down of my metabolism. I do exercise, but I also eat what I want, and I think it's going to suck to have to change that. I also worry that I will end up getting overweight before I realize I need to do something, and that doesn't exactly sound great either.

And I confess that I feel like it's taboo to say "oh, I'm just naturally skinny" or to be slim and admit to any kind of weight concern.

NuggetBrain · April 2011

I confess that I feel like I'm somehow not good enough because I didn't get a 4 year degree. I have a 2 year degree but everybody seems to have BAs and MAs and PH.D's and sh*t, and here I am with my piddly little associate's. I know I'm not stupid but it makes me feel like I am.

And everybody is always riding my ass about going back to school (Noodle included) that I feel like I'm letting everybody down because I have no desire to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a degree that may or may not get me a job that I may or may not like.

The same thing goes for my job - it seems like everybody has these good jobs where they're making good money, and I'm just making decent money as an administrative assistant. Even though I love my job and the people I work with and the benefits, I still feel like people are looking down on me when they're like "I'm a manager/doctor/business owner/cop, what do you do?" and I go "I'm an administrative assistant."

FutureMrsTR · April 2011

Aaaaand I'll jump on the body issues train. I've gained about 7 or 8 pounds since the wedding and while I fully realize that I'm still what most people consider "thin" I feel bad about myself. And yet? I keep eating Tastycake frosted mini donuts every.day. EVERY.DAY. I think I need to be hypnotized. I have an unhealthy obsession with food. I think about having those donuts all day. And when H ate the last one out of the box last week? I was pissed. I buy two boxes now so they last longer. And then stand naked in front of the mirror and hate myself. WTF is wrong with me? H tells me constantly that he thinks I'm beautiful and sexy and perfect and frankly, that's just enabling.

I know that I need to either move more or eat less. Moving more is hard because of my schedule. I can only consistently work out hard two days a week now. And eating less seems impossible because it would make me cry.

mandapanda78 · April 2011

Kiki, I similarly confess that when I read that it takes an average weighted, healthy 25 year old woman 6 months to get pregnant I kind of thought "HA! Suck it, skinny young girls!" because it took us 3.

That's probably pretty flammable.

baystateapple · April 2011

Nuggs, you tell them all to STFU. (easier said than done, right?)

I have a B.A. that has, thus far, been worthless. And it was damn expensive. And my family keeps on my ass about going back to school to get my teaching degree. After 10 years of vascillating between wanting and not wanting to teach, I really, REALLY don't think I'm cut out for it. It bothers me that my family won't accept it, but it bothers me even more to admit that it still upsets me.

mica178 · April 2011

Robot -- usually body dysmorphia is a thing against the self. Trust me, I'm full of self loathing. I don't loathe other people, at least not based on their body type or appearance. Usually I can identify something in people that I wish I had (thick full hair, self-confident, big boobs, small feet, longer eyelashes) and create another insecurity for myself rather than think about their weight or level of fitness or whatever.

LDYGTR13 · April 2011

Aw, Stacks, thanks.

I kinda luff you and I want your audit things to be done b/c I miss you.

NuggetBrain · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:c08a2cb1-f25c-4514-992e-6142253a8c17">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I know everyone is saying their weight issues are only personal to them... but I really have trouble believing that someone who thinks that they look bad 10 lbs overweight is NOT judging people who are much more overweight than that. At least thinking that they look bad or should lose weight. I know people judge me for being overweight and pregnant. But, I'm healthier than plenty of thin people. I have perfect blood pressure, low cholesterol, etc. My blood tests were picture perfect and the baby is picture perfect so far. I am actually very very healthy, if not the fittest I've ever been.
Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

I've seen women that weigh more than me who's body I'd like to have, and women skinnier than me who's body I'd never want. Mainly because of where they're carrying their weight. I'm about 50 pounds outside of a normal BMI, but I'd be totally fine only losing 30 or 35 pounds because it would give me the shape I want, regardless of weight.

emilyinchile · April 2011

Kiki, I will be honest: I sometimes wonder how people get very overweight. I don't judge in the sense of "oh my god, you could stand to lose 50 pounds, that's gross," I just wonder what the path was that led someone to that point and what keeps them there just because it's not something that I've experienced. I also wonder how they feel about it because I don't think I would like to feel/look that way, but I know that everyone has a different shape at which they're happy.

laurenclaire1386 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:c08a2cb1-f25c-4514-992e-6142253a8c17">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I know everyone is saying their weight issues are only personal to them... but I really have trouble believing that someone who thinks that they look bad 10 lbs overweight is NOT judging people who are much more overweight than that. At least thinking that they look bad or should lose weight. I know people judge me for being overweight and pregnant. But, I'm healthier than plenty of thin people. I have perfect blood pressure, low cholesterol, etc. My blood tests were picture perfect and the baby is picture perfect so far. I am actually very very healthy, if not the fittest I've ever been.
Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]
I was thinking about this in Fishy's BMI thread yesterday. I think it's pretty ridiculous that we base "healthy" on a number on a scale. I know that being way overweight is unhealthy, obviously. But if your body is functioning correctly at a weight, how is that not a healthy weight?

[Deleted User] · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:c08a2cb1-f25c-4514-992e-6142253a8c17">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I know everyone is saying their weight issues are only personal to them... but I really have trouble believing that someone who thinks that they look bad 10 lbs overweight is NOT judging people who are much more overweight than that. At least thinking that they look bad or should lose weight. I know people judge me for being overweight and pregnant. But, I'm healthier than plenty of thin people. I have perfect blood pressure, low cholesterol, etc. My blood tests were picture perfect and the baby is picture perfect so far. I am actually very very healthy, if not the fittest I've ever been.
Posted by RobotLegs[/QUOTE]

And that's why I don't judge someone for needing to lose or gain weight. I have no idea what their health is like. I know people with thyroid issues who can't help being overweight, I know people who are super skinny due to medical issues. You never know. And even if I did think someone should lose weight, they could actually be perfectly healthy. So why should I care what they weigh?

ahhhitsshannyn · April 2011

I am only on page 2 so I hope people are still confessing!!!

I confess I am also having body issues. I do not weight myself but I swear that I have gained 20 pounds since my wedding.... a month ago. My clothes do not fit and I just feel so fat. H tells me he does not notice, but something definitely has to be done. I tried to do the no carb thing, but after a couple days, I knew it was not for me. I was so hungry and I would just want to binge on some bread. So we went out last night and I ordered a burrito. H says "well that lasted 2 days!" I felt like shiIt!! He told me he was just trying to keep me focused on my diet, but he said it in a pretty shitty way. I told him I am just going to go back to counting calories and he said he is glad since no carb is a bad diet anyway, but damn you had to say that!!! He often puts his foot in his mouth.

AH that felt good.

ETA: Pink, I also travel 70 miles each way to work, and I fcking HATE it. HATE HATE.

annakb8 · April 2011

Nugget, I have an MA and it's pretty worthless. I have a ton of debt because of it and I'd be willing to bet you make more money than me as administrative assistant. I don't think most degrees are worth anywhere near as much as they cost.

RobotLegs · April 2011

Manda, I share your smugness. I'm a jerk.

Stackeye210 · April 2011

Lucky you LDY. The audit just ended about an hour ago! Woot. The a$$holes are gone. And they were some serious a$$holes.

impslave · April 2011

My confession is kind of weak, but it's something I can't share IRL --

Starting tomorrow, I'm going to be working out of one of our firm's other offices that's only 10 minutes from my house. Up until now, I've been working in the downtown office (it's being closed) and commuting with my mom who works a few blocks away.

I'm actually glad to be getting a break from seeing my mom. Every. Freaking. Day.

hlq2011 · April 2011

I confess that I wonder if some of my heavier friends hate me when I start talking about wanting to lose weight. I'm not happy with body, even though I'm at a point where my size six pants are too big on me. My body fat % is too high, and there are certain areas of my body I'm working hard to lose fat from and tone. And I feel like an ass when I say that to my girlfriends who are larger than I am - but I feel like body issues are so ingrained in women that even the Victoria's Secret models probably have things about their bodies that they'd like to change.

mica178 · April 2011

Nuggs -- my H has a gazillion degrees, and he makes less than I do, but he has a house's worth of student loans. He could have dropped three of his graduate degrees and still had the same income but at least a few more years of making a salary rather than paying tuition. Degrees are what you make of them, and some of them are useless. Oh, and if you met him, it's not like intelligence is pouring out of his mouth. He's just like any other ex-jock redneck, happily snusing and wearing an idiotic t-shirt.

FutureMrsTR · April 2011

My body issues are 100% personal. And it's more to do with the way my body distributes weight. I gain 5 lbs and ALL of it goes to my lower stomach, my muffin top and inner thighs. Nowhere else. It's bullshiit.

And I freak out so early because my mom's whole family is overweight and I know if I let this small weight gain go there will be more and it just won't stop.

scottswife1106 · April 2011

In high school, I was the skinny girl. I was 17 before I weighed 100 pounds and thought that it was the best thing ever. I was always very self conscious about being so skinny and many people were not very nice about telling me how skinny I was. After both of my children, who are 10 years apart, I weighed 130. I was fine at that weight and ate whatever, whenever I wanted to. Now, 5 years later I am 142 and I hate it. Most of my weight is in my middle and many times, in certain clothes, I look pregnant. And yet, I don't workout or watch what I eat. I hate that I am so lazy and pissed that I don't have the motivation to do anything about it. The excuses I can come up with could blow anyone's mind.

I also confess that I am angry with my H for gaining so much weight since the wedding. His clothes are so tight and of course he isn't going to go out and buy new ones. He started working out last month, for a week, and stopped. I am pretty sure this is why he snores and it is driving me Cah.Ray.Ze!!!!

laurenclaire1386 · April 2011

This isn't a confession, but my old job can suck it. I didn't realize how terrible it was and how unhappy I was until I came here. I'm not chained to my desk every second of the day because my coworkers now (as opposed to old job) aren't too good to pick up the phone when I need help. Also, I'm revising a plea bargain for a dude who got caught laundering money for a Mexican drug cartel. So this is far and away the most interesting work I've ever done.

mandapanda78 · April 2011

hlq- speaking as a heavier person, (I'm a sixteen) they probably don't hate you. I only hate the people who never talk about anything else, or who try to project their feelings onto me. Like my mother, who says "Do you want to try weight watchers with me?" when I have never once complained about my weight to her.

Meg1979 · April 2011

I've got to admit that I'm way overweight (230 on a 5"4' frame) and people asked me what I was doing to lose for the wedding. I didn't do a damn thing. And I felt beautiful on that day.

I just wanted to share that because it felt good.

scottswife1106 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:2436b6dc-da40-4d47-a5b3-b98673a0975d">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]My body issues are 100% personal. And it's more to do with the way my body distributes weight. I gain 5 lbs and ALL of it goes to my lower stomach, my muffin top and inner thighs. Nowhere else. It's bullshiit. And I freak out so early because my mom's whole family is overweight and I know if I let this small weight gain go there will be more and it just won't stop.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

I know exactly what you mean. Sucks!

missy68 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:b05abd6f-f023-4b52-b31f-af23476f4b16">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]Bay and I was going to PM or FB you but I thought maybe this would help other people with the same issues: my mother has crippling, overwhelming depression. I was diagnosed with it, too. But here's the difference: I know I have a disease and I choose to do something about it. I'm aware of my actions, I discuss it with the people around me. I'm 32 and I've already come so much farther than she has managed to at 62. Being aware is truly more than half the battle. Depression won't make you a bad mom because you won't LET IT. And talking about it with people around you means you're forming a little team of people who won't let you let it, either. <3
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

Manda, I can totally relate to this. Now, my mom has only recently been diagnosed, and I believe hers is related to specific occurrences, rather than a lifelong thing like mine is. Her sister and I share quite a few diagnoses - this is one of them. It took two or three "breakdowns" (and one hospital stay) to figure out the right combination of medication. And the diagnosis is different now than it was before - it is now depression, ADHD, and AD.
My first winter here, I knew the depression was coming back; I knew the ADHD medication wasn't enough any longer, and I needed help because my relationship and my work were suffering. When it started suffering again, we adjusted as needed. It isn't an overnight process, and thank God my husband, while he may not understand, is empathetic enough to listen to me.
And that's way more information than I ever intended to put out there.

ahhhitsshannyn · April 2011

AWWW LDY, your post almost brought a tear to my eye because I feel the exact same. I can not resist food, and I try and try and fail. Sometimes I cry about it because I feel terrible but I physically cannot stop eating, I am too lazy to work out most of the time and when I do I hate myself more for how out of shape I am. We try to take the dogs out on a run, and guess what, I am out of breath in less than a minute. H stays by my side and walks with me, but it is freaking embarrassing. I can be your cheerleader if you need it!!!

cengle · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honor-of-kps-returningconfessionsthe-ones-dont-mind-people-knowing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bd171c7-a7bb-4eba-9dd4-2dcca46c7613Post:0eddd157-23f9-4c78-8075-81a1dc3727b0">Re: In Honor of KPS Returning....Confessions...The ones you don't mind people knowing</a>:
[QUOTE]I've got to admit that I'm way overweight (230 on a 5"4' frame) and people asked me what I was doing to lose for the wedding. I didn't do a damn thing. And I felt beautiful on that day. I just wanted to share that because it felt good. :)
Posted by Meg1979[/QUOTE]

Good for you! That's awesome!

Did you AW pictures? Because I don't think I've seen them...

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