Stupid exes

thesuninherhead · July 2010

Renovation planning at standstill right now. We were away for a couple of weeks (well, Nick was away for a week, but I was away on and off for a couple) conference presenting/holidaying. We're now back but I'm in the process of jobseeking (my contract is until the end of the year and it doesn't appear as though funding will be renewed) so we've decided to continue getting quotes etc but at a slower pace, and hold off on committing until we are closer to the end of the year and know what is happening job-wise.

Still exciting, though! We're talking about heating options at the moment. This house gets FREEZING in winter because we live in a normally hot state in which most houses aren't heated.

Other than that, all is well- H has been rather sick today (the flu, I guess? Fever he can't shake is the main issue) so I worked from home, which is always nice- love staying in my PJ's for work and being able to finish up, close the laptop and start baking in my kitchen in the next room! ;P

I hope your cold stops pestering you soon! What else is new?

[Deleted User] · July 2010

All these stories are making me happy I never dated. Since I was 4 I was convinced men were complete pigs and not worth my time, dating-wise. I've had lots of guy friends but none I ever considered "the one" until DH. He was my first real date.

My best friend, on the other hand, she finds the real winners. The last one stalked her and threatened to put drugs in her house for breaking up with him. The one before that was institutionalized for a few months. I told DH he's never allowed to leave me because I really don't want to be forced out there in the dating world again. Too many crazies.

reddy123 · July 2010

When I was in college I worked 5am to 1 then went to school from 3-8pm. I would get home exhausted and my then (controlling) boyfriend would pressure me into staying up really late and partying. I was always so tired and only half present in situations and I hate looking back at it, knowing I didn't stand up for myself.

Now, FI knows I'm really sensitive about even the most innocent request for me to stay up later. I'm going to sleep when I'm tired, end of story.

Randomly, I just remembered a friend in HS who had a boyfriend tell her if they have sex with underwear as a buffer (like a condom, ouch), it's not really sex and she couldn't get pregnant. I flipped out on her and demanded she get on BC even if they "weren't having sex". Real winner, that one.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-exes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:1705bf5d-362f-4ba8-9b65-7c55bde58e4cPost:02fc8a92-a057-4444-9066-4ad8dcc03211">Re: Stupid exes</a>:
[QUOTE] What else is new?
Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]

Absolutely nothing. How sad is that? Matt and I are having date night this weekend, so there's that to look forward to. We have a ton of weddings coming up over the next few months, so we'll be keeping busy with wedding-y crap.

And Ben starts Kindergarten next month! That's probably the biggest thing going on right now. I'm so excited for him.

GL with your job search!

merivale87 · July 2010

My senior year of HS I was dating a guy named Nick. He was a huge crybaby and we dated for about 6 months. At senior Prom, I slow danced 2 songs with my now FI and forgot all about my date/BF. When I remembered him, I couldn't find him anywhere. My friend told me he went outside, so I went looking and found him crying in the bushes. When I asked him if he was crying because I danced with FI, he said "What? No, I'm crying because its TOO HOT! I CAN'T GET COMFORTABLE!" Turns out he was outside crying the whole time and never even saw me dance with FI...

I broke up with him the next day.

Jelenny · July 2010

in a nutshell...i was in an abusive relationship

he told me over and over that "he could have anyone he wanted," well he had been drinking one night came after me and i unleashed all fury did more damage to him than he did to me (thank you Hapkido) he called his mom, his mom was going to call the police - BUUUUUUUUT he was drinking. my parents moved me out on thanksgiving...

after a while he wanted me back and i said "no xxxxxx, remember you can have ANYONE you want but me....."

:0)

goheels05 · July 2010

These stories are hilarious.

The worst guys I dated were the two immediately preceding DH. I met both while I was in grad school (neither of them were).

After Christmas break, some friends introduced me to one of their friends who was away first semester because he was in the army and had served in Iraq. He came back, we met, we hit it off.

I made dinner one night and he came over. He was sketchy and fidgety all through dinner and the movie we rented. After dinner he confided in me that his ex thought she was pregnant and that it was his. The kicker? She was a junior in high school. I could tell from her story that she was lying because none of the math was adding up. He was going to break up with me and MARRY her if she was pregnant. Genius. Big shock that she wasn't.

He contacted me about 2 years ago. He friend requested me on FB like half a dozen times and finally I was like, what is your deal? We are not friends. Turns out he was on a 2nd deployment and same fake-pregnancy ex had genital warts and accused him of giving it to her. He wanted like, copies of my Pap Smears.

skippylouwho · July 2010

True story about someone I work with. Married a year, husband gets cancer, dies in short time. An old HS b/f came to the service or contacted her to express his sympathy - something. They hit it off connected as friends again. He suddenly found he had terminal cancer. She married him, they enjoyed his few good months left, she took care of him until the end (she's a pretty neat person). He died.

About another year later she was at a conference, met a guy with a bunch of people they knew in common. He didn't live near her but they really hit off. Soon they were travelling back & forth to see each other. They would fly to a destination for long weekends. They made plans for a lifetime together. She has a great house and she suggested he relocate here and find a different job. She has a great job, he had a job that required a lot of travel and he told her he was ready to stop doing that. He started moving stuff in and then suddenly she couldn't reach him - drives hours to his place, can't find him. Gets a weird email from someone who found her name in his stuff after the guy's sister (it gets convoluted) emailed this person to tell him her brother had died instantly in a car accident in Kansas while travelling for business. She is in shock, total shock. She'd not met any of his family yet, they are supposedly scattered all over the country.

The sister also tells the friend, in the email telling of the boyfriend's death that because the family is scattered all over they had him cremated immediately and would gather later in the year somewhere to scatter his ashes. Sister also mentions she knew he'd met a new woman that he was crazy about but she didn't know who it was so the friend the sister emailed sent this letter to my co-worker. Co-worker didn't know this guy either but she gets this email telling her her boyfriend had been killed in a car accident about 2 weeks prior.

This all just didn't sound right to us - it just sounded fishy. She took off work, drove to his place and staked it out. Finally saw him coming in and out. She confronts him. He says just not ready for a serious relationship. She comes home, hurt but ok - what are you going to do - guy doesn't want you.

Oh - i left out something somewhere he told her he'd committed himself to a mental institution cause he was just so stressed out over everything and she shouldn't contact him any more but that was a lie too.

I don't recall exactly how the whole truth came out but: he was a married man with 2 little kids who had no intention of leaving his wife. He was living a fantasy that went too far when my co-worked asked him to move in. My co-worker was completely devastated. She really thought they were planning a life together and that after so much grief she had finally found someone to plan a long life with. She was so excited they laughed a lot, had fun, etc. This was about 1.5 years ago and I think she is still not dating.

goheels05 · July 2010

The next guy was an even bigger tool. You know how when a small child hears a bad word, they inevitably repeat it in the grocery store and other weird social situations? He did that. He didn't know what the slang term "taint" meant, and after we told him, he made up a little song about painting your taint and would sing it in public.

I hosted his birthday party at my apartment and all his friends came in from out of town (they were surprisingly cool, I really liked them and missed them after we broke up). We went out to some bars and I drove because I had a permanent parking pass uptown through my job.

One of the couples who was with us got into a knock-down drag out fight because she let some guys put a fake tattoo on her boob. My bf and her bf were walking 100 feet behind the rest of us and just stopped in a random parking lot. I turned around and told them that if they didn't hurry up, I'd leave them there. We got to the parking deck at my office and bf URINATED in the parking deck, in front of a security camera next to my car. I was mortified.

Things continued to go downhill with us. I called him to break up one night but I didn't pull the trigger because he was on his way to a work party to celebrate his promotion. The next day at work, I logged on to FB to show one of my coworkers something funny, and the top headline in the newsfeed was "Heels and Justin are no longer in a relationship." Awkward!

After Wes and I started dating, he sent me a crazy long FB message begging me back. Um, no.

goheels05 · July 2010

Holy cow, skippy!

[Deleted User] · July 2010

Jeez skippy, what a story. I wouldn't date after that either.

Anysunrise · July 2010

I'm a little late to this thread, but oh well.

I dated this one guy through high school who was a complete dickwad. He was super nice for the first two months, but after that was pretty downhill, unsurprisingly.

He was super into goth chicks. When we first met, I dressed pretty typically, just jeans and t-shirts, blonde hair, etc. After a while he started commenting on how I should dress a little more gothy, and it'd make him happy, and all this. I ended up spending $1500 on new clothes because as he eventually said "I hate the way you dress" and more or less implied that he'd break up with me if I didn't. I was 16, didn't really care what I looked like, so I just agreed to it.

It got to the point where he'd refuse to go out with me if I wasn't wearing eyeliner, wouldn't kiss me in public if I wasn't goth enough looking, and when he took me to a (of course) goth clothing store to pick out something for my birthday, and I found something he didn't like, he called me a money-grubbing whore. This of course, made me cry, so he walked 10 feet in front of me on the way home so people "wouldn't think he was with me". He'd constantly berate me for not doing my nails, or waxing my eyebrows (since he wanted me to get rid of them completely and do the draw them on dealy. Uh, yeah no thanks. I drew the line, no pun intended, at having no eyebrows) or not straightening my hair.

He was the same way about sex. I lived 2 hours away from him, but he was in the city and I wasn't, so I had to pay for a bus ticket every month to go see him because he hated my place. And once I was there, if I didn't want to have sex, he'd say something along the lines of how I wasn't making him happy, and yadda yadda. it got to the point once where I was telling him to stop and he just kept going. He stopped when I started crying, but it scared me for obvious reasons. He also got drunk once and slapped me across the face during sex, but he had asked before if he could, and it wasn't at all hard, so at the time, it didn't seem like he was trying to hurt me.

We eventually broke up, but he convinced me to come and visit him once more to "try and work things out." Re: Once he got me to have sex with him, he told me to take off. And posted the rather tame (because I was smart enough not to let him take any nudes), but still not pictures I'd want people to see on the internet for some friends while I was downstairs making him food.

He kept telling me he loved me until he found some other dumb 17 year old that would let him screw her. At this point I had started talking to FI and after he told me to fvck off because he had found someone else, I decided to go visit FI. And I'm so glad I did.

I should mention that at the time we broke up, he was 23 and living at home still. He's now 25, and living at home still.

texgal79 · July 2010

I dated a guy for about three years when I was 23 - 26, and he and his friends would do things like pee on each other surreptitiously in bars and see if the peed-on victim noticed (yes, in public, just hangin' it out there); watch porn together late at night after parties (he would try and convince me to watch with him); play credit card "roulette" after dinners where they ran up $1k tabs in alcohol); and get so absolutely sloshed he would try to get in other girl's cars outside bars and go home with them (as I stood outside the car yelling at him.) I was an honors graduate from a top 10 university who cast a disparaging eye on a lot of my friend's boyfriends who didn't seem "good enough", and claimed his behavior was all in good fun and entertaining. Umm, in hindsight, I was the one who was a complete and utter idiot. We broke up when I moved away for grad school, which at first I was upset about because he didn't want to move with me, but after six weeks apart I apparently regained some iota of sanity and couldn't break up with him fast enough. This is why I am glad I waited until 31 to get engaged since clearly I should have been committed in some psych ward.
Now we live 2,000 miles apart but the past 3 years he would email me every year or so to tell me he missed me and wanted to get back together, and offering to "compromise" on x, y, z. At first I felt a little sorry for him so the first time I wrote back and do the whole, "it's not you, it's me" thing. Then he FB messaged me a few months after I got engaged (we are not friends, so therefore he would have had to have stalked my profile via his one mutual friend that we do have on FB.) He claimed he wished me the best of luck, and then made fun of my FI (who he knows nothing about) with a smiley emoticon. Barf, gag, F-ck you. I didn't respond.

lpstl · July 2010

Wow, sun, I think you win. Here's mine:

I was in a relationship with a guy named Mike before Pete, we were together for 3 years and lived together. One time my grandmother asked him if he was ever goilng to propose and he told her he couldn't until some problems were solved. What were the problems you ask? Well, he told my 75 year old southern grandmother that I wouldn't get on birth control. He also told her I needed to have my teeth fixed before he would consider marriage. Yeah, that was a fun conversation to have with grandma.

I can't take hormonal BC due to medical reasons, he always thought I was just making that up. And no, my teeth weren't great, but at the time I couldn't afford cosmetic dental work. I had that taken care of after Pete proposed.

We had a pregnancy scare once, his first response was to pick up the phone for planned parenthood and make me listen to how the abortion pill works. I told him to fvck off. Thank god it turned out to be a bad test.

My Dad was in the ICU 300 miles away in Nashville with a 20% chance of survival, Mike drove me to Nashville and stayed for a while, then decided to come back to St. Louis for work, and planned to come back down in a couple of days. He took my car to do this. When he got back to STL he EMAILED me and told me he was leaving me and moving all his stuff out that night. With my car, while my Dad was in the ICU, and I was stranded in Nashville. That still makes me want to put his balls in a meatgrinder.

catemeg · July 2010

Yikes! Some of these are just scary!

My first boyfriend unzipped his own pants while we were making out in his basement, and tried to push my head down... when I realized what was going on, I got up and walked to the other side of the room, where I sat and told him I would stay there until he "calmed down". Tee hee! I went on a vacation with my family, and broke up with him right after I got back. His response? He was pissed because he had a party at his house the night before and had a girl "offer" to give him head, and he turned her down. So he was more mad about missed opportunities for head. Typical 15 year old, right? Turns out, he did hook up with her... the whole time we were dating.

My second boyfriend was 5 years older than me, which is quite a bit in high school. He was fun and nice, but I realized he was just too immature for me, so I broke up with him. We sort of kept in touch, but not really. Last year, he called me out of the blue to tell me he was engaged. I congratulated him, and asked who the lucky lady was. He told me her name, and then said, "It should have been you." And hung up! Creeper...

I had a boyfriend in college who was in medical school for "neurological pharmacology" and insisted he had to try every drug he might one day conceivably prescribe for someone. He was a smoker, and it really bothered me, and I wasn't that into him so I broke things off. He started stalking me... showing up outside my dorm and sending me texts that said, "I just saw your roommate leave your apartment. I'm sad you weren't with her" and I'd call her to ask where she was and she'd say, "Yeah, I just left, what's up?" I ended up having to call the cops.

apricot239 · July 2010

Okay, I'm a little late but here's mine:

When I was sixteen I was dating a guy who was a year younger than me, "N" and everything was great until my friend "M" moved away accross the country. M wote me letters all the time since we didn't have cell phones and N started getting really jealous and scary. He'd read all my letters and wouldn't let me write back unless he read what I was writing. After he went ballistic on my little brother (who was five at the time) for interrupting him at the dinner table I broke up with him. I got harrassing emails and IMs and phone calls, to the point where I got a restraining order and my step dad pulled me out of school because N said he was going to wait outside my 6th period and slit my throat. So step dad sent me to live with M since step dad and M's dad were best buds in the navy. Two months later, my step dad called me telling me that their house was on fire and that everyone was safe, but my room was completely burned. It turns out, N poured gasoline all over our back porch and the wall where my room was and lit our house on fire. He's been in jail ever since but boy, that guy was a total whack job.

katiewhompus · July 2010

I think I could fill a book with stories about my ex (the one with the happy man problem).

Lets see...while we were living together in DC he quit a job with the CIA so that he could level his character faster in WoW. I was working as a cashier at PetSmart and the sole income for our apartment. He then turned down 3 other lucrative jobs, including a comic book deal with Marvel, because he wanted to play WoW and it would have taken away his video game time.

This same guy also refused to drive me to the hospital in Baltimore when my dad was in an accident because he was playing WoW. My car had been broken into that day so it was in the shop, and my mom called at midnight to tell me that my dad ran his hand through his table saw and was going to Baltimore for surgery. Ex didn't want to leave his raid to drive me, but said I couldn't borrow his car and would call the cops if I took it. I got a hold of my dad after the surgery and he said he didn't want me there that night, so I got a friend to drive 2 hours to pick me up and take me to see him.

When we broke up he told me I was going to be sorry, because he was going to go to law school and be rich and show me. Yeah...you and your bachelor of arts degree (in painting and ink) and lack of motivation, you go do that.

when I kicked him out of the apt he actually had to go live with his brother in Charlottesville because his mom refused to let him move back in since he fvcked it up with me. Ha!

Knittibell · July 2010

My College boyfriend basically shacked up with my roommate, stole my dog and computer, sold all my furniture and took off while I was up visiting with my mom who'd just had surgery. I still miss the dog.

I did some on line dating and here were two examples I laugh about...

1. Cute guy, sportscaster, e-mailed a bunch, decided to meet for drinks. All was fine until he opened his mouth, because he TALKED like THIS!! "How ARE YOU? You LOOK BEAUTIFUL!" It's like he couldn't turn it off- like he was a tv with a volume control problem. Really hard to keep a straight face for that one, I think I ended up giving my number to the bartender, LOL!

2. Man about 8 years older than me, we meet for drinks. He orders a beer, I order a Vodka Collins- he says "Oh, you drink liquor?"
Me: Yes, I don't really care for beer, so I generally drink wine or mixed drinks" Him:I love liquor, but it makes me incredibly violent! Ha ha!
Me: Check, please!

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