Dress issue

kikibaby · April 2010

So, hypothetically... what would you do if you went to your first fitting 5 weeks before the wedding and suddenly hated your dress? Chalk it up to a bad day? Suck it up? Cry in a corner then look for a new dress?

MissLeahM · April 2010

I would suck it up. Its just a dress after all.

I dressed like a geek in school, do I care now? No.

AlexiaANDRobert · April 2010

Suck it up.

You must have liked it when you bought. Think about those good thoughts. I WOULD NOT go get another one.

RachNRich · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7a0010e-5be5-4eb4-9c9d-59f0172bd69dPost:cedcb3b7-d177-41fd-a86e-9520096b4efa">Re: Dress issue</a>:
[QUOTE]I would suck it up. Its just a dress after all.<strong> I dressed like a geek in school, do I care now? No.</strong>
Posted by MissLeahM[/QUOTE]

What does this have to do with anything?

Kiki---I'd chalk it up to a bad day. What don't you like about it now?

ohwhynot · April 2010

I think I'd try to chalk it up to a bad day. Emotions are running high, you may have built up unrealistic expectations in your head, etc. Did anyone else accompany the hypothetical you to teh fitting? If so, what did that person say?

tidetravel · April 2010

I would try to figure out WHY I hated it (and then find a damned good seamstress). Is it the way I feel in it? The way it fits? Something about the style/cut?

Once I figured out why I was upset, I could figure out how to change it.

Brie2010 · April 2010

I've been less-than-thrilled with my dress at various intervals, and I mostly chalk it up to a bad day/frizzy hair/being cranky/etc.

There had to be something about it that made you buy it in the first place. Focus on that. What helped me was to go to my next fitting after I hated it prepared--I bought a crinoline, which helped a ton, brought my veil, earrings, wore nice makeup, and pulled my hair back. It made me feel way better.

pirategal03 · April 2010

Nothing for 24 hours. Then go visit it again. If I still hated it I'd give myself a small budget and I'd go shopping, alone. If I found something within that small budet I liked better, I'd wear that, if not, I'd wear what I have.

MissLeahM · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7a0010e-5be5-4eb4-9c9d-59f0172bd69dPost:db709cc0-dd47-412d-9919-217a2dadd2d6">Re: Dress issue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dress issue : What does this have to do with anything? Kiki---I'd chalk it up to a bad day. What don't you like about it now?
Posted by RachNRich[/QUOTE]

Because looking back, I hated what I was wearing that day but it doesn't effect me today.

kkchisholm · April 2010

Honestly, if I had the money, and I really hated it.. I would get another one.

But I don't.. so I'd suck it up:( Maybe add some accessories?

Do you have pics?

jennylove810 · April 2010

Bad day. I'd go home, have a glass of wine or 3, and try my hardest to not freak.

RachNRich · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7a0010e-5be5-4eb4-9c9d-59f0172bd69dPost:d2d92783-7548-4b1d-b88b-d1743faf1524">Re: Dress issue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dress issue : Because looking back, I hated what I was wearing that day but it doesn't effect me today.
Posted by MissLeahM[/QUOTE]

Not gunna lie, I think a wedding dress is a bit different than dressing like a geek in high school.

kikibaby · April 2010

Well, when I tried it on last night I suddenly hated the pick-ups, my arms, the color, the way my boobs looked, the length... um, pretty much everything. So, I guess I was probably just being hypercritical. My mom was with me and she loved it, but you know... she's my mom, what's she going to say?

shellydiane820 · April 2010

I'd wear it. I'd hate myself for buying a second dress.

EmmaBride2B · April 2010

Do you have pictures? Like Tide said is there anything you can have a seamstress fix?

MissLeahM · April 2010

True. but graduation was the biggest day in my life (at the time).
Well that and I don't consider the wedding to be the biggest day in my life. It'll be one day and life will go on.

RachNRich · April 2010

Well, who cares about dress issues when you're the new mod on E???

MissLeahM · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7a0010e-5be5-4eb4-9c9d-59f0172bd69dPost:cb4185af-5127-4812-ac19-80840db522c6">Re: Dress issue</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, when I tried it on last night I suddenly hated the pick-ups, my arms, the color, the way my boobs looked, the length... um, pretty much everything. So, I guess I was probably just being hypercritical. My mom was with me and she loved it, but you know... she's my mom, what's she going to say?
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

Have you taken a picture of youself in it and looked at it after that? It sounds like you were having a bad day.

AlexiaANDRobert · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7a0010e-5be5-4eb4-9c9d-59f0172bd69dPost:cb4185af-5127-4812-ac19-80840db522c6">Re: Dress issue</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, when I tried it on last night I suddenly hated the pick-ups, my arms, the color, the way my boobs looked, the length... um, pretty much everything. So, I guess I was probably just being hypercritical. My mom was with me and she loved it, but you know... she's my mom, what's she going to say?
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

My mom is SUPER honest, to a fault. So if it was FUG, she'd be the FIRST to tell me.

I like the idea of going back with all your accessories, the right underwear, and veil and stuff, that might make you feel better.

ac_in_dc · April 2010

I'd calm down. I think your emotions may just be running high.

To be honest, my dress alterations got fvcked up, so I was a little bit disappointed with how it turned out, especially considering how much it cost.

However...everything else about the wedding (except for our cranky limo driver) went perfectly, and I *loved* the caterer, the cake, the DJ, the church, the organist, the ceremony...in my mind this stuff affected all 100 people at the wedding, whereas the fit of my dress affected only me. So I don't mind that this was the thing to go wrong.

ohwhynot · April 2010

Missleah, you're not making any sense. Who said anything about graduation?
Kiki, I'm sure you looked beautiful - and honestly, if your mom didn't think it was quite right, she probably would have said so. Your mom wants you to be as beautiful as can be on your wedding day - I'm sure she WAS being honest and that you looked lovely.

kkchisholm · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7a0010e-5be5-4eb4-9c9d-59f0172bd69dPost:9f8db194-2f64-481d-9543-828074da6261">Re: Dress issue</a>:
[QUOTE]True. but graduation was the biggest day in my life (at the time). Well that and I don't consider the wedding to be the biggest day in my life. It'll be one day and life will go on.
Posted by MissLeahM[/QUOTE]

Didn't you wear the same gown as everyone else at graduation??

FutureMrsTR · April 2010

I would chalk it up to a bad day and try to remember what made me fall in love with it in the first place. If there are minor things you could fix, go for it, but I wouldn't buy a new dress. Honestly, even if you're not swooning over that particular dress on the day of, you're going to look gorgeous on your wedding day because you'll be the glowing bride

tidetravel · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7a0010e-5be5-4eb4-9c9d-59f0172bd69dPost:cb4185af-5127-4812-ac19-80840db522c6">Re: Dress issue</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, when I tried it on last night I suddenly hated the pick-ups, my arms, the color, the way my boobs looked, the length... um, pretty much everything. So, I guess I was probably just being hypercritical. My mom was with me and she loved it, but you know... she's my mom, what's she going to say?
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

Pics please!

Possible solutions?

Arms - a nice lace overlay/sleeves, maybe?
Boobs - make sure to get a really GREAT longline bra, and wear spanx.

If the color is too light, you may be able to have it dyed, if you want. Or, distract yourself from it and make a really cute colored crioline which would look awesome in pics.

Length can usually be added/shortened, but again, we would have to see it. Talk to your seamstress.

kikibaby · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7a0010e-5be5-4eb4-9c9d-59f0172bd69dPost:ae3d7358-ad0a-44fc-ae22-5fffc089d38d">Re: Dress issue</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, who cares about dress issues when you're the new mod on E???
Posted by RachNRich[/QUOTE]

Sweet! How come nobody told me? haha.

I wish I did have a pic, but I went a little Bridezilla and wouldn't let my mom take any. I was really upset and almost cried in the store.

Thanks for all of the suggestions, Tide. I think most of it is probably just my imagination, though. I might get a jacket or something, because it might have been my arms that bugged me the most.

shellydiane820 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7a0010e-5be5-4eb4-9c9d-59f0172bd69dPost:86c2a65b-6d5f-420a-a21b-eb3e287aca1d">Re: Dress issue</a>:
[QUOTE]Missleah, you're not making any sense. Who said anything about graduation? Kiki, I'm sure you looked beautiful - and honestly, if your mom didn't think it was quite right, she probably would have said so. Your mom wants you to be as beautiful as can be on your wedding day - I'm sure she WAS being honest and that you looked lovely.
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

I think she's trying to show how easy going she is, and she doesn't care.

wadingmoose · April 2010

I sucked it up, I kind of regret that now, but in the end it really is just a dress.

I am still pissed that I spent gobs of money on "just a dress" that I hate.

MissLeahM · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7a0010e-5be5-4eb4-9c9d-59f0172bd69dPost:a8ef978f-4473-4855-9966-5da1911234bb">Re: Dress issue</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dress issue : I think she's trying to show how easy going she is, and she doesn't care.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

totally.. I don't care about anything.

^ see I didn't capitilize the 't' because I'm so cool I don't care. Oh well.

tidetravel · April 2010

I think it was Daff that had a really beautiful lacy overlay/jacket thing. If you can't find something that you like, your seamstress could probably make you something.

5 weeks is plenty of time for you to love your dress. You've said in the past that you have self esteem issues, so without seeing the pics, I'm going to go ahead and say that 99% of the "problems" with the dress are your perception of how you look, not that it looks bad.

Take a day or two to calm down. Like PPs said, go back to the store wearing EVERYTHING - longline bra, spanx, jewelry, veil, shoes, etc. Try to figure out what is really bothering you about the dress and then you can work on fixing it.

Spend the next 5 weeks drinking a lot of water, eating a little healthier and doing some light exercise/weights. Don't worry about losing weight or trying to tone your arms - the water will make your skin look great; lighter food and a little exercise combined with the (hopefully) nice weather that comes along with spring will do wonders for your emotional health.

ohwhynot · April 2010

Moose, really? It looks so pretty on you! I think it's stunning (the color, the cut, everything) and it's sad to know you don't look at your pics and think so, too.

ac_in_dc · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7a0010e-5be5-4eb4-9c9d-59f0172bd69dPost:67f85e5b-4505-4259-812a-24a4ebfd59eb">Re: Dress issue</a>:
[QUOTE]Moose, really? It looks so pretty on you! I think it's stunning (the color, the cut, everything) and it's sad to know you don't look at your pics and think so, too.
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.

And I like Tide's advice...next time I'm feeling ugly I'm totally paging her.

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