mother-in-law tobe wearing black

Amy 2010 · July 2010

Lately my MIL tobe has been very difficult. Her last email stated that she is now wearing a black dress to our wedding. My fiance doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong with this but I feel people will see it as a sign that she is against the wedding. How can I tell her not to wear the dress without seeming like bridezilla, she has a beautiful yellow and brown dress that she was originally going to wear to the wedding.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

You can try to tell her you really love the other dress, but if you go much further than that, you are a bridezilla. Black is perfectly fine and she is not part of the WP, so she doesn't have to match anyone. And black goes with everything.

arv266 · July 2010

There is no way to tell her not to wear the dress. You can tell her how much you love the other dress, but that's about it... You stated that she's been "difficult" lately, what does that mean? Other than showing up in a dress of her choice, what role does the MIL play? Are you really worried about what people will say, or is there some other issue going on between the two of you? I'd let her be. What ever she wears is not a reflection upon you -- it is just a matter of her personal taste.

spechtholdn · July 2010

I dont think it would be appropriate for her to wear a black dress. I would be offended it my future MIL wanted to wear black. Black does look good with everything but I think it should be reserved for guest. She may not realize how it is making you feel. I would tread lightly, but definately try to push the first dress. If she doesnt seem to budge talk to her about how you are feeling.

LoriAH11 · July 2010

I agree with the majority that there isn't a whole lot you can say other than drop subtle hints you like the other dress better. At the end of the day, nobody is going to think that much about it. The idea of wearing black to a wedding because you are against it is very outdated. But if she is wearing it for that reason, at the end of the all she is going to do is end up making herself look like a big baby to everyone else for doing something like that. I don't think it will reflect on you at all unless you were obviously acting like a Bridezilla to the guests.

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

My own mother wore black. Only extraordinarily old-fashioned people would think it was a judgment against the wedding.

Adults can dress themselves. You don't get to tell anyone other than your bridesmaids and groomsmen what to wear.

jenn.daniel · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_mother-law-tobe-wearing-black?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:01d73cd6-21d6-4b49-b405-a32bb4f3377ePost:e7aebfde-37b9-4eb9-b8f5-401f81054d98">Re: mother-in-law tobe wearing black</a>:
[QUOTE]Only extraordinarily old-fashioned people would think it was a judgment against the wedding. Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

This is my mother.

tldh · July 2010

This is FI's problem to handle. Personally I hate seeing anyone in black at a wedding (and yes, I know some posters here had BMs in black).

pokepoke27 · July 2010

I personally wouldn't be concerned unless you and FMIL don't get along. While people will see that she is wearing a black dress, they will also see the radiant smile she has on her face.
I have two formal dresses, one is red and one is black. I thought the red was a little too loud for my cousins wedding, and the black looks really good on me so I chose that. It wasn't until months later that I realized I wore black to her wedding. But I was so happy for her on the day that no on there thought that I was protesting the wedding in any way.
If she is happy about the wedding then it will show, no matter what she wears.

beamer84 · July 2010

I think it's fine to wear black to a wedding. I thought the "rule" that you can't wear black to a wedding went out of date years ago. My own mother's dress was mostly black (not to mention my Dad's jacket and pants for his tux were black). I also helped pick out my grandmother's outfit for the wedding, and we found a gorgeous black outfit with some white embroidery for her.

Also, this wearing black seems to only be bad if women wear it. Guys wear mostly black to weddings often, even in the WP. No one thinks anything about the fact that their jackets and pants are black, so why shouldn't women be able to wear black to a wedding?

golden1215 · July 2010

MY FMIL asked if she could wear black and I said of course. No black to a wedding is SUPER out-dated. Know, if she was wearing white.... then I'd complain.

amwilli5 · July 2010

My mom's wearing black. When she originally told me I said "FYI my wedding isn't a funeral" but my mom has no clue how to describe clothes so it took her friend to tell me its a cute black cocktail dress and I convinced her to wear colored heels. Totally out of my moms comfort zone, but she'll d it for me, Black doesn't mean anything anymore just hopefully it isn't a black frock. Have you seen it?

mother-in-law tobe wearing black

Re: mother-in-law tobe wearing black

Choose Another Board

Search Boards