Being a bridesmaid and stealing the thunder of another bride?

Megnutz33 · January 2010

So I am a bridesmaid in a long-time friend's wedding that is 3 months before mine. I did not ask her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding because we just aren't as close as we used to be. My mom wants to have my bridal shower the week before her wedding. Do you think this is a slap in the face to my friend, or is it no big deal? I don't want her to think I am trying to steal her thunder or anything. Any thought?

aerinpegadrak · January 2010

Why would it be a slap in the face? She gets one day, you get one day. Your friend might decline to attend the shower if she has too much to finish up for her own wedding, but other than that I don't see any problem.

SarahPLiz · January 2010

Unless she is marrying Thor, she technically has no thunder to steal. She gets her shower, and you get yours, whnever fits your schedule best. She may not be able to attend, but you shouldn't cancel a party because of one guest's plans.

emilyinchile · January 2010

Sarah, I'm cracking up.

And ditto PPs. She doesn't get a whole week to claim as hers, and I SINCERELY doubt that even guests who are invited to both weddings will relate the two events. It's not like they're still going to be talking about your shower a week later and think the wedding's not as good by comparison!

bablingbrooke · January 2010

Even though I totally agree that you each get one day and that she's crazy if she thinks you're stealing her thunder, for the sake of avoiding drama, could you have the shower two weeks later (i.e. after her wedding and while she's likely on her honeymoon)? You have three months until the wedding, it's not like you have no other choice but to have the shower that week (at least based on what you wrote). Just for your own sanity, I'd sidestep the potential problem. Unless you really can't have it any other time, then go for it.

MyNameIsNot · January 2010

It's fine. It's a shower, a week before. It doesn't matter.

Outside of this website, I've never heard an adult concerned with stealing anyone's thunder. No matter what happens the weekend before, all eyes will be on her at her wedding.

Whippet8 · January 2010

i had my shower a week before my friends wedding and she attended, and seemed to have no problem with it.

megk8oz · January 2010

Sarah, omg, I nearly peed myself over that. Then DH asked what was so funny, so I told him, and now he's cracking up.

Anyway, OP, unless your shower was on her actual wedding day, I fail to see how this is a problem. She might not be able to make it, but I really can't imagine that she'd actually be mad about your shower being when it is.

FWIW, if one of my friends had a shower the week before my wedding, I really wouldn't have cared. For cripe's sake CHRISTMAS was the week before my wedding, I wasn't on the brink of roshambo-ing Santa and Jesus over it. People had lives, and honesgtly, while I was busy the week before, it wasn't anything that I needed my BMs for, so I really had no idea what most of them were doing while I was finalizing the playlist and the menu, and making final payments and all that lovely stuff.

aerinpegadrak · January 2010

Meg, I think Santa and Jesus are still roshambo-ing over Christmas, personally. Mithras pipes up every so often to remind them that it's actually his birthday and that Jesus was born sometime in April, but they just shoo him away.

banana468 · January 2010

I love this thread!

It shouldn't be a big deal to have the shower the week before the big day. And if it is, it's OK if she declines the invitation.

SarahPLiz · January 2010

I'm glad we could add some humor to your day, Stage, especially if you are in need of TheraFlu. Get better soon!!

emilyinchile · January 2010

Best. Thread. EVER.

You guys are hilarious.

Being a bridesmaid and stealing the thunder of another bride?

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