Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Etiquette Forum
soontobehasrouni
member
should i invites cousins sister
So my family lives all over, and my cousin T lives in nashville. i go down there from time to time to see him but havent gone in the last few years. he has a sister and stepmom over in colorado. i really only talk to them on FB and thats when they comment on my stuff...theres never a phone call or even emails between us really. My family isnt super close.
Would it be wrong to invite T, but not his sister who lives in colorado? him and his sister arent super close either
theres a lot of people id like to invite but cant, and im hoping that since its OOT, once the announcements go out, people wont feel as funny for not have being invited. Figure ill just say on the announcment something about a close intimate ceremony, wish everyone could have came, blah blah blah,
I havent gone down to nashville in a couple of years, and dont tak to travis on the phone either. i usually just call and tell him im coming down. should i even invite him? or just send an announcement
Would it be wrong to invite T, but not his sister who lives in colorado? him and his sister arent super close either
theres a lot of people id like to invite but cant, and im hoping that since its OOT, once the announcements go out, people wont feel as funny for not have being invited. Figure ill just say on the announcment something about a close intimate ceremony, wish everyone could have came, blah blah blah,
I havent gone down to nashville in a couple of years, and dont tak to travis on the phone either. i usually just call and tell him im coming down. should i even invite him? or just send an announcement
This discussion has been closed.
Re: should i invites cousins sister
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-i-invites-cousins-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:27f1c45a-0553-42b6-b95d-b8cfbc1f5d75Post:0123bfe6-2776-479d-a2c3-f3773f67f8e6">Re: should i invites cousins sister</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's how you do this, its really easy. You ask yourself "In 20 years, when I look back at my wedding photos, will I sad/disapointed to not see his or her face?" You also ask yourself "Will it cause irreparable damage in our relationship if I don't invite them?" If the answer to both of those questions is yes or maybe, you invite them. If the answer is no, you don't. Dont feel guilty, or obligated to invite people. It's a wedding, not a family reunion, and if you're already having to cut people that are close to you to stay under budget, there is no reason to fill that seat with someone that you aren't that close to.
Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Im going to put both of them on a B list. if there is room, theyll get a formal invite In Response to Re: should i invites cousins sister :
Posted by soontobehasrouni[/QUOTE]
<div>Be careful with this. They would probably know they were B listed, and would most likely be more offended than if you just explained that it was a small wedding, and you only invited local/immediate family. </div>
[QUOTE]Girl do your B list dont listen to them...i think thats a perfect plan you go girl lol
Posted by misstira[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Uuuuh. No. This is bad advice, OP. </div><div>
</div><div>Think about the logistics of this.</div><div>- I'm assuming that your family would need to take time off work, right? Most employers require at least 30 days notice to take off. </div><div>-Your RSVP date shouldn't be any closer than a week before the deadline that your venue or caterer has given you for a final headcount, which in my case was 48 hours before the wedding.</div><div> -Most of your RSVP's will not come in until last minute, and that's if you don't have to call half your guests because they didn't send theirs in. </div><div>
</div><div>So basically, you're looking at sending an invite to people who live out of state, around 2 weeks before your wedding, and hoping that they A)Don't put two and two together and realize they were B-listed B)That they can get off work and C) That they just happen to have enough money on hand to either fly or drive a long distance. Many people need time to save up for a trip like that. </div><div>If I was your cousins, I wouldn't care if we'd been super-duper close, there's no way I could swing a trip in two weeks. </div><div>
</div><div>If you do this, you will come off as being rude, and possibly gift grabby, because common sense tells you the things that I just mentioned, so, knowing that they probably wouldn't be able to make it, it would look like you were just sending an invite so they would send you a gift. </div>
[QUOTE]Girl do your B list dont listen to them...i think thats a perfect plan you go girl lol
Posted by misstira[/QUOTE]
Perfect plan if she wants to insult her guests and make it obvious that they were not her first choices.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: should i invites cousins sister : Perfect plan if she wants to insult her guests and make it obvious that they were not her first choices.
Posted by pkontk[/QUOTE]
<div>Exactly i mean it is HER DAY not theirs...</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: should i invites cousins sister : Exactly i mean it is HER DAY not theirs...
Posted by misstira[/QUOTE]
I very much dislike people justifying poor behavior with the "Its my day" excuse. As soon as you invite people to an event, wedding, christening, birthday party, whatever, it ceases to be all about you.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: should i invites cousins sister : Exactly i mean it is HER DAY not theirs...
Posted by misstira[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>And this is why we need a sarcasm font. </div><div>My aplogies, misstira, if my reply to your first post offended you. I thought you were being serious. I'm glad I was wrong. </div><div>
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: should i invites cousins sister : I very much dislike people justifying poor behavior with the "Its my day" excuse. As soon as you invite people to an event, wedding, christening, birthday party, whatever, it ceases to be all about you.
Posted by pkontk[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>I'm fairly certain that she is being sarcastic. </div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: should i invites cousins sister : I'm fairly certain that she is being sarcastic.
Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]
Really? Why? I mean maybe she is, but I definitely didn't read it that way.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: should i invites cousins sister : I'm fairly certain that she is being sarcastic.
Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]
Right. I clearly need another coffee!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: should i invites cousins sister : Really? Why? I mean maybe she is, but I definitely didn't read it that way.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Just the way she capitalized certain words, and all the "lols" </div>
[QUOTE]Team B list! I am sending out invitations with a 4 month buffer for my A list and a 2 month buffer for those I would like to invite but cannot due to space restrictions. For every decline I get from the A list I can afford to say someone else can come
Posted by M1ssJ[/QUOTE]
<div>Thats whats up huney see u understand the A List B List issue...</div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-i-invites-cousins-sister?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:27f1c45a-0553-42b6-b95d-b8cfbc1f5d75Post:8aa4b4be-532d-4968-9ac9-ace16d5764b1">Re: should i invites cousins sister</a>:
[QUOTE]Team B list! I am sending out invitations with a 4 month buffer for my A list and a 2 month buffer for those I would like to invite but cannot due to space restrictions. For every decline I get from the A list I can afford to say someone else can come
Posted by M1ssJ[/QUOTE]
There is some seriously bad advice being thrown around in this thread.
I can't believe any legitimate venue would do that. I would never have signed a contract like that.