Stubborn Ass

bethsmiles · November 2010

I think he sounds like and ass and you sound immature. Get the haircut you want, not to piss him off but because you want it. Your comment about telling him to find some other "chica on campus" makes me wonder why you are on a wedding site if the relationship is so unstable that a haircut could end it. Your relationship seems like its a mess.

Schrodinger · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:94f984ed-3a54-4469-bd61-63949612bbde">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]NQB I don't have a ring on my finger, but yea we talk almost daily about getting married, and I am absolutely in love with him. I can handle myself, I have been with an abusive guy before. <strong>This one shows no signs of being abusive, at all.</strong> All of the things we have said back and forth about the haircut have been in very playful tones. Although I know he prefers long hair, I know that he loves me no matter what. He also understands that I am a hairstylist or former hairstylist and I get bored/I know better. My hair is bleached, its fragile, the ends need a massive trim, like 5 or 6 inches off. And in the end he knows that, he just doesn't really love short hair.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]

<div>Threatening to withhold affection is abusive behavior, even if said playfully.</div>

rxjen · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:94f984ed-3a54-4469-bd61-63949612bbde">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]NQB I don't have a ring on my finger, but yea we talk almost daily about getting married, and I am absolutely in love with him. I can handle myself, I have been with an abusive guy before. This one shows no signs of being abusive, at all. All of the things we have said back and forth about the haircut have been in very playful tones. Although I know he prefers long hair, I know that he loves me no matter what. He also understands that I am a hairstylist or former hairstylist and I get bored/I know better. My hair is bleached, its fragile, the ends need a massive trim, like 5 or 6 inches off. And in the end he knows that, he just doesn't really love short hair.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]

So is it aggressive or playful? I don't get it......Your post is all over the place...Anyway....did you win the E-ring in the contest you entered or did he propose? I am getting married in 2 years and do not talk about getting married everyday, You should not need assurance in your relationship that you absolutely must talk about getting married everyday.Unless you both are deep in planning mode talking about it everyday does not a future marriage make.

Hazel_B · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:fde2d965-b4dd-4d1e-8b34-7477cff159ef">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stubborn Ass : I believe boyfriend feels the same way about long hair. Not only the femine part of things, but his momma has always had long hair. I guess he just feels like that defines a woman. Not sure, but like I said hairstylists, we bore easily.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]

Yeah, my hair stylist is the same way. She constantly has highlight foil in her hair when she is cutting mine. The whole salon is on constant experimentation mode.

I understand that his momma has long hair but does his grandma? I can't think of an elderly woman that I know that doesn't have short hair. I know my BF thinks his grandmas are these perfect ladies. If your BF is the same, he needs to get over the long hair issue.

coastiegrl25 · November 2010

I am just going to say that I am glad MOST of you are actually atributing the what the OP has to say instead of posting nonsense and quoting others.

I will also say to OP although some of these things may be hard to hear, it is always good to look from anothers point of view. Just so you can be informed. Only you know the relationship. You don't sound like you are in any rush to get married. Four years is no rush. So between here and there make sure he is the right one and isn't the ass he is coming across as.

notquiteblushing · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:0421e552-d04f-46e4-9358-ad880583d29d">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stubborn Ass : Not everyone is wise enough to get married after 30
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

Aint it a shame. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

GreenPepperBurger · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:fde2d965-b4dd-4d1e-8b34-7477cff159ef">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stubborn Ass : I believe boyfriend feels the same way about long hair. Not only the femine part of things, <strong>but his momma has always had long hair. I guess he just feels like that defines a woman.</strong> Not sure, but like I said hairstylists, we bore easily.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]

Creepy.

citygirllovescountryboy · November 2010

Agreed, I do know more about my relationship. And also I know BF, I also agree that the way I said all of this probably made him sound like much more of an ass than he is. He is not an ass at all. We are very forgiving of one another. Yes I did say that he could just go find a new chica on campus, but I never actually said that to him. I agree that sounds very immature, I would hate if he just left me for some other girl, and I would never actually propegate that happening. I most definitely have the B.S. under control. I don't stand for any controlling behavior. It drives me crazy and BF knows that if he was actually seriously showing controlling signs that I would leave him, because although I like having a boyfriend, I am a very independent woman, and I could get along just fine on my own. Being that he knows all this, I highly doubt we would break up or get into a huge fight over a haircut. After all it is just hair and it grows back.

Wrkn925 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:210f32c9-da3d-4225-9db4-6d4484ab6047">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stubborn Ass : Threatening to withhold affection is abusive behavior, even if said playfully.
Posted by Schrodinger[/QUOTE]

I don't agree with that. BF crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip jokingly last time I said I was getting my hair cut. He tried to convince me to keep it because he liked it so much.
I cut it, he loves me anyway, and loves my new haircut more than my old style. (Or he's saying it to make me feel better.)

Saying it playfully or jokingly does not equal abuse.
Meaning it equals abusive behavior.

noelle24 · November 2010

IF it was truly playful teasing, you wouldn't feel the need to ask this question on an internet message board. H and I tease each other about hair styles and other things pretty often. But we both know that it's just that, and don't feel the need to ask other's advice about what to do with our own hair.

motoLyn · November 2010

He definitely stated his opinion and that's just it his opinion. You take it into consideration and YOU decide. Don't decide on a whim to oppose your BF's demands. Cut your hair the way you want cause its your hair, just don't do it to spite him. I used to have my hair short all the time I'm talking ear length bobs cause I wanted a cut that I could brush and run out the door. Now a days I have my hair long, longest it has ever been. FI told me that he liked my hair long and that it suits me so positive comments and positive reinforcement keeps me with long hair. I be a hypocrite to say that you should disregard your BF's opinion, cause I tell my FI I like him better with short hair. But I don't bug out when it gets long. You've decided to cut it, so hopefully BF can see that it looks just as good and loves it too. You don't need to come here and ask us cause at this point you should know its your own decision. The ladies here are pretty liberal and all for empowerment so they are going to tell you to do what you want versus caving into your BF.

**Mutley** · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:b2f7c8f6-213e-4ed4-9f9b-b2363f126129">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE] <strong>I am just going to say that I am glad MOST of you are actually atributing the what the OP has to say instead of posting nonsense and quoting others.</strong> I will also say to OP although some of these things may be hard to hear, it is always good to look from anothers point of view. Just so you can be informed. Only you know the relationship. You don't sound like you are in any rush to get married. Four years is no rush. So between here and there make sure he is the right one and isn't the ass he is coming across as.
Posted by coastiegrl25[/QUOTE]

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/10/5719934f-7553-4fcf-9a21-4cec26d3fd2b.large.gif" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '5719934f-7553-4fcf-9a21-4cec26d3fd2b', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/10/5719934f-7553-4fcf-9a21-4cec26d3fd2b.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>

rxjen · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:9d6d24f3-0eeb-48fa-a0ed-32267edd137b">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stubborn Ass : Creepy.
Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

Reminded me of the Oedipus Complex for some reason.....

GreenPepperBurger · November 2010

This thread makes my brain hurt.

Wrkn925 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:e7386058-d75b-4854-bfd8-119fe06bfa6e">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>IF it was truly playful teasing, you wouldn't feel the need to ask this question on an internet message board</strong>. H and I tease each other about hair styles and other things pretty often. But we both know that it's just that, and don't feel the need to ask other's advice about what to do with our own hair.
Posted by noelle24[/QUOTE]

hmmmmm....good point!

Narwhal · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:f71d3f30-0551-44bf-8528-ca1646ee230a">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stubborn Ass : I don't agree with that. <strong>BF crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip jokingly last time I said I was getting my hair cut.</strong> He tried to convince me to keep it because he liked it so much. I cut it, he loves me anyway, and loves my new haircut more than my old style. (Or he's saying it to make me feel better.) Saying it playfully or jokingly does not equal abuse. Meaning it equals abusive behavior.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

<div>That's not withholding affection. You missed her point.</div>

citygirllovescountryboy · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:b2f7c8f6-213e-4ed4-9f9b-b2363f126129">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE] I will also say to OP although some of these things may be hard to hear, it is always good to look from anothers point of view. Just so you can be informed. Only you know the relationship. You don't sound like you are in any rush to get married. Four years is no rush. So between here and there make sure he is the right one and isn't the ass he is coming across as.
Posted by coastiegrl25[/QUOTE]

It isn't that hard to hear at all. I wouldn't post on here if I didn't want the advice. I was just wondering if you guys had ever had the same issue with your SO's, I feel like silly little arguments happen to everyone, and I was wondering how other people deal with theirs. BF and I will end up having a great weekend, no matter what my hair looks like after 2:30. And no we are in no rush to get married at all. I want to be most of the way finished up with college before I start planning a wedding. And yes in those next four years, or possibly longer, that is more of just an estimated date, I will make sure he is THE ONE.

rxjen · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:fafa2121-fe78-465d-81a3-fabc523a3898">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]Agreed, I do know more about my relationship. And also I know BF, I also agree that the way I said all of this probably made him sound like much more of an ass than he is. He is not an ass at all. We are very forgiving of one another. Yes I did say that he could just go find a new chica on campus, but I never actually said that to him. I agree that sounds very immature, I would hate if he just left me for some other girl, and I would never actually propegate that happening. I most definitely have the B.S. under control. I don't stand for any controlling behavior. It drives me crazy and<strong> BF knows that if he was actually seriously showing controlling signs that I would leave him</strong>, because although I like having a boyfriend, I am a very independent woman, and I could get along just fine on my own. Being that he knows all this, I highly doubt we would break up or get into a huge fight over a haircut. After all it is just hair and it grows back.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]

You are telling us that you are concerned about the haircut!! It does sound like he is controlling!

citygirllovescountryboy · November 2010

Oh and no we did not win the E-ring and he has not proposed, but again...we are in no rush at all. I wouldn't say no if he proposed now, but I am not chomping at the bit either. Thank you guys for all your help, I picked out a really cute picture that I like a lot. And it is for me, not out of spite, just because I like it.

**Mutley** · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:0c6c65aa-b101-4d85-8c31-2cf758213edb">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stubborn Ass : You are telling us that you are concerned about the haircut!! It does sound like he is controlling!
Posted by rxjen[/QUOTE]

Stop making sense, rxjen. That has no place in this thread. I am sure that after 9 months, she KNOWS this guy. Every 21-year-old is a genius in relationships.

PaigeMcC · November 2010

Hair length = success of relationship.

Why do you think I'm trying to get mine longer!? DUH!

Wrkn925 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:22500579-8884-4732-87f1-d73dcafe63e6">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stubborn Ass : That's not withholding affection. You missed her point.
Posted by Narwhal[/QUOTE]

I realized that after I posted. I'm a bucket of fail today.

He'll turn his back and act silly for a second, but it never lasts. I can't remember exact words, but he gave me a hard time before I cut it the first time.
After it's cut, he loves it though.
Besides the time I went to a beauty school and had a new girl cut it. It was uneven, and he enjoyed laughing at me for that.

heyimbren · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:e28167ad-e571-40bf-8cd6-bc6ff4684604">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]Hair length = success of relationship. Why do you think I'm trying to get mine longer!? DUH!
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

What about cutting bangs, is that bad? Because I just cut mine.

GreenPepperBurger · November 2010

Why do I feel like the OP posts in a manner like she's cracking a piece of gum between her teeth and talking on the phone to her girlfriends?

PaigeMcC · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:0957e5d0-fcbb-4c1c-bd43-0d57fa9c90d1">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stubborn Ass : What about cutting bangs, is that bad? Because I just cut mine.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

<div>iunno...I think bangs are an exception...</div>

rxjen · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:9db48882-55c6-4071-91aa-c8c47f77d65e">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh and no we did not win the E-ring and he has not proposed, but again...we are in no rush at all. I wouldn't say no if he proposed now, but I am not chomping at the bit either. Thank you guys for all your help, I picked out a really cute picture that I like a lot. And it is for me, not out of spite, just because I like it.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]

Please tell me that you are a Troll!!! PLEASE!!! I refuse to believe you are real!For your sake!! I want to give you the benefit of the doubt so bad!! I cannot accept that girls that sound like what you are complaining about are walking the face of this earth.....

LizzyTish88 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:fafa2121-fe78-465d-81a3-fabc523a3898">Re: <strong>Stubborn Ass</strong></a><strong>:</strong>
[QUOTE]Agreed, I do know more about my relationship. <strong>And also I know BF, I also agree that the way I said all of this probably made him sound like much more of an ass than he is. He is not an ass at all.</strong>We are very forgiving of one another. Yes I did say that he could just go find a new chica on campus, but I never actually said that to him. I agree that sounds very immature, I would hate if he just left me for some other girl, and I would never actually propegate that happening. I most definitely have the B.S. under control. I don't stand for any controlling behavior. It drives me crazy and BF knows that if he was actually seriously showing controlling signs that I would leave him, because although I like having a boyfriend, I am a very independent woman, and I could get along just fine on my own. Being that he knows all this, I highly doubt we would break up or get into a huge fight over a haircut. After all it is just hair and it grows back.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]

I may be wrong but this whole thread sounded like this to me:

"My BF is being a big meanie head and being an ass cause he says one thing then acts another way. Wah, wah, wah"

"Yes your BF is an ass, you should really think about your relationship"
(other very logical points and thoughts)

"No my BF is not an ass! How could you say such a thing?!"

OP it's a haircut! He will get over it. If he doesn't then you need to move on. That's really all I have for advice because my head is going to explode.

rxjen · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:0957e5d0-fcbb-4c1c-bd43-0d57fa9c90d1">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stubborn Ass : What about cutting bangs, is that bad? Because I just cut mine.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

Uh oh! Wait to your father gets home!!!

rxjen · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:e28167ad-e571-40bf-8cd6-bc6ff4684604">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]Hair length = success of relationship. Why do you think I'm trying to get mine longer!? DUH!
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

Win!!

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/7/7f4a5953-45b1-4f13-b759-bddce501fc61.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '7f4a5953-45b1-4f13-b759-bddce501fc61', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/7/7f4a5953-45b1-4f13-b759-bddce501fc61.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

jeanacorina · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:5086ad86-d3d6-4aaa-841d-36fcff126386">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]Get the haircut you want. And the boyfriend you deserve.
Posted by notquiteblushing[/QUOTE]

This.

I asked my husband what I should do with my hair after the wedding. I said, "I'm seriously thinking of chopping it short." His response?

"Well, short is sassy. But, long is sexy. So, either way you're beautiful and will make it your own. You go do whatever will make you happy." My husband is smart sometimes.

It's just hair. It grows. Tell him to shut his pie hole.

Stubborn Ass

Re: Stubborn Ass

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