Wedding Etiquette Forum

Donations for Wedding Photos

So...my sister is already married but because her husband is military they didn't have a chance for a wedding. So we're having the wedding later. The issue is that they already have housewares and everything they need, but she's worried that she won't be able to afford a photographer for the event. They don't need gifts, but I've seen instances where couples asked for monetary donations towards their honeymoons, and I was wondering if you guys think it would be okay to do something similar with the pictures. I was thinking of setting up a PayPal button on the website so people could just click on it and donate however much they want. Then we could order a bunch of pockets and send one to people in the thank-you letters so they can see what they gave the couple basically. What does everyone think?
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Re: Donations for Wedding Photos

  • No.  This is really not okay.  She should have the vow renewal they can afford.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:036529c0-4901-4887-bdc0-646db66ca2c7">Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]So...my sister is already married but because her husband is military they didn't have a chance for a wedding. So we're having the wedding later. The issue is that they already have housewares and everything they need, but she's worried that she won't be able to afford a photographer for the event. They don't need gifts, but I've seen instances where couples asked for monetary donations towards their honeymoons, and I was wondering if you guys think it would be okay to do something similar with the pictures.<strong> I was thinking of setting up a PayPal button on the website so people could just click on it and donate however much they want. </strong>Then we could order a bunch of pockets and send one to people in the thank-you letters so they can see what they gave the couple basically. What does everyone think?
    Posted by ahoyamy[/QUOTE]

    <div>Oh dear lord NO.  It's never ok to blatantly ask for money.  If they can't afford a photographer for their vow renewal, then they have the option of waiting until they can afford what they want, or scaling back on other things to make room in the budget.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Does everyone know they're married?</div>
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  • No, that's really NOT okay.  If she can't afford a photographer, she can't afford a photographer.  She cannot ask guests to pay for that.
  • ...that is so unbelievably tacky.

    I think i just threw up in my mouth a little.
  • VERY negative on this
  • No, weddings gifts are optional.  It is not okay to solicit them, even worse to outright ask for cash - for a honeymoon, or a photographer.
  • Good gravy, NO!

  • A fake wedding re-do really shouldn't be expecting a pile of gifts, much less demanding cash gifts, much less demanding cash gifts to pay for the fake wedding re-do.  You're at like the third dimension of NO. 

  • Besides the etiquette issues, she would have to commit to a photographer (and a price tag) before she knows how much she "raises." She may be stuck with a bill she can't afford if people don't cough up monetary gifts for her vowal renewal. 

    I've never been invited to a vowal renewal, do people generally bring wedding-type gifts to them?
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  • Okay, I would have gotten the message if people had just said "No". No reason to add rude comments that I have to ignore. Sorry I'm new to the wedding world and am unsure of what is acceptable these days. Perhaps if instead of working and going to school full time I spent my days at home watching wedding shows I would know better. I think twelve year olds would be less condescending than some of you people. Maybe I'll go to Yahoo answers and ask them because at least they wouldn't add to this already stressful situation with snotty replies to a fellow wedding person just trying to figure it out. 
    To those who responded patiently, thank you. To those superior weasels who know who they are, I hope your wedding day is awesome and you don't get divorced two years later, which is likely. 
  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited April 2012
    Sweet.

    I don't meet many condescending twelve year olds.

    Edit: I thought about it, and when I was 11, I thought some 12 year olds were condescending.  So what are you, OP, 11?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:54175902-ea29-463d-b1d6-b2487ea4f0b2">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay, I would have gotten the message if people had just said "No". No reason to add rude comments that I have to ignore. Sorry I'm new to the wedding world and am unsure of what is acceptable these days. Perhaps if instead of working and going to school full time I spent my days at home watching wedding shows I would know better. I think twelve year olds would be less condescending than some of you people. Maybe I'll go to Yahoo answers and ask them because at least they wouldn't add to this already stressful situation with snotty replies to a fellow wedding person just trying to figure it out.  To those who responded patiently, thank you. To those superior weasels who know who they are, I hope your wedding day is awesome and you don't get divorced two years later, which is likely. 
    Posted by ahoyamy[/QUOTE]

    <div>Two wrongs don't make a right... No need to be just as a rude back. Many of these ladies feel very strongly about the "rights" and "wrongs" of the wedding world. You asked a question and got answers. Don't complain just because you don't like what they have to say.</div>
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  • Ha, I'm totally going to start calling people weasels.  
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    Way cooler." - anna.oskar
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:90ab666d-7691-491c-ba4c-198737cf343f">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ha, I'm totally going to start calling people weasels.  
    Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

    adamar, I feel sorry for your husband
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:54175902-ea29-463d-b1d6-b2487ea4f0b2">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay, I would have gotten the message if people had just said "No". No reason to add rude comments that I have to ignore. Sorry I'm new to the wedding world and am unsure of what is acceptable these days. Perhaps if instead of working and going to school full time I spent my days at home watching wedding shows I would know better. I think twelve year olds would be less condescending than some of you people. Maybe I'll go to Yahoo answers and ask them because at least they wouldn't add to this already stressful situation with snotty replies to a fellow wedding person just trying to figure it out.  To those who responded patiently, thank you. To those superior weasels who know who they are, I hope your wedding day is awesome and you don't get divorced two years later, which is likely. 
    Posted by ahoyamy[/QUOTE]

    Gonna go with Snippy's term from this morning.

    You're being a massive snatchface.
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  • Yes. There actually is a reason to be rude. You're wanting to FUNDRAISE for your sisters "wedding". That is wrong on SO MANY LEVELS. Either pay for your own freaking wedding or don't have one. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:54175902-ea29-463d-b1d6-b2487ea4f0b2">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay, I would have gotten the message if people had just said "No". No reason to add rude comments that I have to ignore. Sorry I'm new to the wedding world and am unsure of what is acceptable these days. Perhaps if instead of working and going to school full time I spent my days at home watching wedding shows I would know better. I think twelve year olds would be less condescending than some of you people. Maybe I'll go to Yahoo answers and ask them because at least they wouldn't add to this already stressful situation with snotty replies to a fellow wedding person just trying to figure it out.  To those who responded patiently, thank you. To those superior weasels who know who they are, I hope your wedding day is awesome and you don't get divorced two years later, which is likely. 
    Posted by ahoyamy[/QUOTE]
    Because Yahoo answers is a credible source of information  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
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  • I also am not buying the "sister" story.  OP is way too butthurt for this to be about someone else.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:54175902-ea29-463d-b1d6-b2487ea4f0b2">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay, I would have gotten the message if people had just said "No". No reason to add rude comments that I have to ignore. Sorry I'm new to the wedding world and am unsure of what is acceptable these days. Perhaps if instead of working and going to school full time I spent my days at home watching wedding shows I would know better. I think twelve year olds would be less condescending than some of you people. Maybe I'll go to Yahoo answers and ask them because at least they wouldn't add to this already stressful situation with snotty replies to a fellow wedding person just trying to figure it out.  To those who responded patiently, thank you. To those superior weasels who know who they are, I hope your wedding day is awesome and you don't get divorced two years later, which is likely. 
    Posted by ahoyamy[/QUOTE]

    Sorry you didn't get the type of responses you wanted, but there is no reason to be nasty back.  What about the situation is stressful?  Your sister is a married woman planning a vow renewal.  Vow renewals are usually not gift giving occasions, so asking for money for a photographer would be like someone saying "I'm having a superbowl party, you can donate towards the decorations if you want".
  • Haha, DelBride said "vowal renewal."

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  • edited April 2012
    Is there an award for the crappy-newb-trifecta in record time?

    I mean, we literally got an insanely rude question, an "I feel sorry for your husbands" and a GBCK in less than a page.  Gotta be a record. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:90ab666d-7691-491c-ba4c-198737cf343f">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ha, I'm totally going to start calling people weasels.  
    Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

    SUPERIOR weasels.  It's way funnier that way.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:641ecd45-e250-47d7-955b-71a1912e206e">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Donations for Wedding Photos : Because Yahoo answers is a credible source of information 
    Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

    <div>I know, right? I want to see the results if OP seriously asks this on Yahoo answers. I would love to see what the trolls there come up with.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:2c1d530a-a05e-4a6c-958f-227a7925f6c9">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]Haha, DelBride said "vowal renewal."
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
    Twice <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" />
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:c2eb788d-f681-4581-9ad4-16fd0777b00e">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Donations for Wedding Photos : adamar, I feel sorry for your husband
    Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's OK.  I just had lo mein on my face.  He feels sorry for himself too.</div>
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    Way cooler." - anna.oskar
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:e760b2ea-79c0-4297-8b8a-ef84134d8acb">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Donations for Wedding Photos : That's OK.  I just had <strong>lo mein </strong>on my face.  He feels sorry for himself too.
    Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

    Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • I think that, if they got married, they had a wedding.  And, no, it's really not okay to ask for cash.
  • Has anyone seen her ask it on Yahoo yet?  I'm searching but not finding!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:f2e76a6e-a488-4c8d-ab66-6d7c27f4db8a">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Donations for Wedding Photos : Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    <div>Oh god that actually made me LOL.  </div>
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    But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.

    Way cooler." - anna.oskar
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_donations-for-wedding-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f3a67fbf-b2a4-408f-be87-e4c02a6fb1c5Post:7ebcb160-b318-483f-bd0f-b315bdc66b1e">Re: Donations for Wedding Photos</a>:
    [QUOTE]I also am not buying the "sister" story.  OP is way too butthurt for this to be about someone else.
    Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

    YES! 

    Also why the big rush for a vow renewal?  Save the money for the photographer first!
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