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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Feeling guilty about not talking to everyone

Hi there!  Wedding was 9-4-10.  Wedding was beautiful and I had a great time, although I did feel kind of hectic since I was constantly pulled around to do stuff. However, now I feel incredibly guilty for not talking to everyone that was there.  We had a lot of OOT guests that I don't see often.  I know this happens to most couples on their wedding, but I'd feel better if I heard you were in teh same boat too!

Re: Feeling guilty about not talking to everyone

  • Oh I was just talking to my mom about that this morning!! My wedding was also 9/4! I feel horrible for not talking to a lot of people, but I was also being pulled here and there, pictures, etc etc. Im in the same boat as you! Glad you had a beautiful day! I did too!
  • We were in the same boat. We had several guests in from out of town that we don't see often and didn't get to make it around to talk to them. From what I have heard, the reception is the thank-you for coming and it is quite common not to make it around to everyone. We did the best we could, but there was only so much time to do everything. Just send everyone who got you a gift a nice thank you and I am sure that will say a lot, too.
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  • Same boat. We were 9/5/10 and we were constantly being pulled away for something. The people we did get to talk to was such a blur I don't have a clue who I did and didn't get to talk to anymore.
  • People know you're busy on your wedding day.  You can't beat yourself up over this.  You did your best.  You can write these people really nice thank you cards or you can send them an email with a pic of them at the wedding saying it was so great to have you there, we'll have to catch up sometime and I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to you more. 

    Just try to remember your day in the best possible light and forget the bad stuff.  You can't redo it anyway so it's no use worrying over it.   
  • Theresa, your words are very comforting!  I feel very guilty too about not talking to my family who came a long way.  I didn't know they would leave right after dinner so I barely got to talk to them.  But hopefully like you said, they know we were busy.
  • It makes me feel so much better to hear that it happens to others.  Looking back, now I see that I haven't always talked to the bride or groom at a wedding, but that didn't ruin my time there.  I didn't realize that about half the guests would leave right after dinner, so I wouldn't have snuck out during dinner to do pictures, I would have talked to them then.  Oh well.  They could always have come up to me too.  It feels better to share this with others!  I think I was mostly feeling sad about everyone leaving and not seeing my friends and family much.  Thanks ladies!
  • Call them up on the phone!  Send them an email!  IM them!  There's sometimes not enough time to get to everyone, and people understand that :)

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
  • My wedding was 9/5, and there were people I didn't get to chat with as much as I would've liked, but most people understand that you get pulled in many directions on your wedding day.
  • We did a receiving line at the church to greet and thank guests for coming.  However, if they did not come to the church and were not on the dance floor at the reception, I  did not see them, lol.   I know I missed a few people, oh well.
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  • this is sad, I'm going to make it a point to see EVERYONE. I know you gals say it's okay, but really I don't think it is.

    I guess I won't know how it is until I'm at our wedding, but I think it's so rude when the bride doesn't make it to all the tables :( 
  • I felt the same way.... i noticed half the ppl were gone and then i started going around and in doing that missed a lot of dancing too,,,, :( it was a really rushed night... there is a lot I regret not doing... actually really sad I didnt do...

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_feeling-guilty-not-talking-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:f5e286cf-2d5f-437e-9cd0-9adb213efe8dPost:f07cda1c-1035-416a-a60f-b714fea80d19">Re: Feeling guilty about not talking to everyone</a>:
    [QUOTE]this is sad, I'm going to make it a point to see EVERYONE. I know you gals say it's okay, but really I don't think it is. I guess I won't know how it is until I'm at our wedding, but I think it's so rude when the bride doesn't make it to all the tables :( 
    Posted by lisaD26[/QUOTE]

    All I have to say is good luck with that!  We tried, and we had a small wedding. But the time goes by FAST!

    My only advice as PP said, I didn't realize how many people would leave right after dinner.  So get around early!!
  • We had the same problem, we didn't get to talk to a lot of people. We tried to go around to all of the tables, but only got about half of them (not even). We had to sit down and eat our dinner, or else we would not have been able to eat! We had a picnic the day after the wedding, and a lot of the wedding guests were there, which was nice.  In the thank you cards, I think we may write something about how we were sorry that we didn't get a chance to talk to the person, but we were very happy that they were able to make it to the wedding.
    I think that the people who we didn't get to see were understanding, because that is kind of expected at the wedding. Too many people and not enough time!
    We had a receiving line at church which was helpful because we at least got to see everybody, even if it was for just a quick second.
  • I got to everyone except one couple (my mom's friends.) They were going to eat as I went to their table so we did a quick wave.  People understand.  They are there to celebrate your special day, not to visit with you!
  • PP said " they are there to celebrate your day not to visit with you!"  I agree with this.  If we all think like this, we can move on and not feel bad about our day!
    Nothing is perfect.  I have had regrets about the wedding and I DID GO TO EVERY SINGLE TABLE.  But then I regretted not saying bye to everyone, not dancing with everyone, etc....It doesn't happen so I need to get over it.  What I do need to remember is that the rehearsal dinner, the bachelorette, the bridal shower are all events where I may have spent time with certain people that I didn't at the wedding. So, that is all a part of the wedding and phone calls and emails afterward as PP suggested are also part of 'sharing your day'.
    So don't worry!!!!!!!!!!  It is par for the course that you will not spend enough time with anyone that day except your Husband/FI whom you should have a great deal of time with! 

  • I feel the same way. We were trying to do all the tables, so we started with my husband's side. People were holding us up so long that my mom had to come and get me cause it took over an hour.  When she pulled me away, he was talking to someone at his last table, and I started doing my side alone. 5 minutes later they called us for the dessert hour and cake cutting and I hardly got to say a word to my side at all,  I did all the tables alone and rushed.  I can't help feeling a little resentful about it
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  • I agree, write a nice thank you and mention your feelings in the note. If you didn't get to talk with them, the next best thing is to make sure they know you wish you could have and miss them. And if you want to go the extra mile, write nice Christmas card to them too.
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