Poll: Dogs and Kids

AlexiaANDRobert · February 2010

I'm not trying to start a huge controversial thing, I'm just curious as to where people stand on this issue (prompted by Unpopular Opinions).

I believe that children and dogs need to be supervised. I would never leave my Lola alone with a child. I don't trust her. She doesn't know how to be around children and she's dominant.

I'd leave Mia alone with my newborn (I really wouldn't, but I'm trying to describe her personality). When she was 8 weeks (when I got her) she stayed with my nephew who is only 6 months old. She is SO good with him. She is not dominant or aggressive at all. She is also only 8 months old.

I'm in the camp where any dog can be raised to be a family dog, but ANY pet should be supervised when they're with children.

AlexiaANDRobert · February 2010

The two dog attacks that are closest to my family are:

Two Great Dane attacked the 10 (ish, I can't remember exactly) year old boy when he walked in the door. They both KEPT attacking him after the mother threw herself on the child and was trying to cover him with a blanket. This happened locally.

My uncle's Lab just turned on him one date and went BSC. He put the dog down himself. There were 4 young children in the family and Gator was raised with the kids.

ggmae · February 2010

I believe that children and ANY animal need to be supervised. Obviously, I'm not talking goldfish here, but I think that it's irresponsible to leave a child alone with any animal.

ETA - When my little brother was 2, our family's golden retriever bit him in the face. I still remember it, and I was only 9 years old. He was crawling all over the dog and all of a sudden, she snapped and bit him. My dad was in the room, along with myself and my other brother. My dad scooped my brother up and put the dog in the garage. He was bleeding pretty badly, but my mom advised my dad not to take my brother to the ER.

When my dad talked with my mom about it later that night, they agreed that it was time to put the dog down. She was 12 years old and had been having seizures, and wasn't in good health overall. Her biting my brother was the last straw and as devastated as my mom was, she felt it was best to put the dog down.

danieliza1127 · February 2010

I agree that children, especially babies and toddlers, need to be supervised around dogs. No matter how sweet and well behaved your dog is, the baby or toddler does not understand things like not to get in the dog's face when he's eating or not to pull his tail or whatever.

Brie2010 · February 2010

I think kids and dogs should be separated or closely supervised until the child is old enough to learn the basic rules of dog behavior--don't take food or a toy from the dog, don't touch a sleeping dog, don't touch paws or their mouth, and don't taunt the dog with food.

Milhouse is a great dog, but he will growl viciously at our cats if they step on him while he's asleep or come near him when he has a rawhide. They learned the lesson pretty quickly and don't do that anymore. I would not trust a child to be alone with him until the kid knows the basics.

Kati0105 · February 2010

I voted Other. FI really wants to get a dog, but I want to wait until our kids are 5 or so and old enough to help us pick out/name the dog. Part of this is because I know kids always want new puppies and kitties, but another part is fear for how an existing dog would react to a baby. I wouldn't ever want to be in the position where I had to worry or be super diligent about keeping the dog away, especially as an exhausted new mom. I will also insist that we get a breed that is known for being good with kids. While it may be true that any breed can be properly trained to be good with kids, I'd rather play it safe and get a dog with less aggressive tendencies.

RachNRich · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_poll-dogs-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a63ade0-d2c5-49d5-a02b-2acf0904db7ePost:e56fb136-264a-4ca1-af8f-b833e1d33b81">Re: Poll: Dogs and Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]I believe that children and ANY animal need to be supervised. Obviously, I'm not talking goldfish here, but I think that it's irresponsible to leave a child alone with any animal.
Posted by ggmae[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto this. </div><div>
</div><div>Even cats. And turtles. And hamsters. </div>

Koopa17 · February 2010

In Response to Re: Poll: Dogs and Kids:
[QUOTE]I think kids and dogs should be separated or closely supervised until the child is old enough to learn the basic rules of dog behavior--don't take food or a toy from the dog, don't touch a sleeping dog, don't touch paws or their mouth, and don't taunt the dog with food. Milhouse is a great dog, but he will growl viciously at our cats if they step on him while he's asleep or come near him when he has a rawhide. They learned the lesson pretty quickly and don't do that anymore. I would not trust a child to be alone with him until the kid knows the basics.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

I agree, and I also would have to know that my dog has learned as well, b/c he definitely isn't trained to be around kids right now. He'll have to go through training for a while to be ready to be alone with a kid...

Stackeye210 · February 2010

I think they can live together, supervised closely. However, I put other because I personally have decided not to even consider getting a dog until I'm finished having kids and they are older. But I think this is not only because of safety, but because of time, effort and money that you put into an animal.

ac_in_dc · February 2010

I voted for my dog to be the babysitter

Obviously I'm going to supervise Willard and the new baby very closely when we first come home and assess the situation. But the fact of the matter is that he just doesn't bite. That and his teeth are all worn down from whatever crappy life he had before I adopted him six years ago.

In 6 years I've taken his food away, pulled toys out of his mouth, had kids do the same. I've seem my toddler nieces and nephews grab things from his mouth or pull his tail or play with his paws and he's been utterly tolerant. He *will* gently steal food from a toddler if a kid is bumbling around with a slice of bread in his hand.

If I do something that causes him physical pain, he cries like a baby, and if it's really bad, he'll gnash his teeth against my hand or another part of his body. (he did this when I was pulling porcupine quills out of his face).

AlexiaANDRobert · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_poll-dogs-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a63ade0-d2c5-49d5-a02b-2acf0904db7ePost:047946b7-a276-449b-980e-cbb87d2728af">Re: Poll: Dogs and Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]I voted for my dog to be the babysitter Obviously I'm going to supervise Willard and the new baby very closely when we first come home and assess the situation. But the fact of the matter is that he just doesn't bite. That and his teeth are all worn down from whatever crappy life he had before I adopted him six years ago<strong>. In 6 years I've taken his food away, pulled toys out of his mouth, had kids do the same. I've seem my toddler nieces and nephews grab things from his mouth or pull his tail or play with his paws and he's been utterly tolerant</strong>. He *will* gently steal food from a toddler if a kid is bumbling around with a slice of bread in his hand. If I do something that causes him physical pain, he cries like a baby, and if it's really bad, he'll gnash his teeth against my hand or another part of his body. (he did this when I was pulling porcupine quills out of his face).
Posted by ac_in_dc[/QUOTE]

I actually do this to EVERY dog I've ever owned as part of their training. Most of the time, they just sit there and wait for me to put the food back. Lola gets a little growly and that is why I don't trust her as much as I trust Mia.

emilyinchile · February 2010

We have a dog and plan to have kids one day. We purposely try to socialize her with that in mind - I'll bug her while she's eating, we always like kids to play with her at the park, etc. But if a kid bugs her, she'll run away, and I don't blame her - I don't want someone chasing me with a stick either. If she were in a place where she couldn't get away, and our future kid was bothering her, it wouldn't be her fault if she snapped at him/her. It's my job as an adult to referee, not the child or the dog's job to act perfectly all the time.

nthomas983 · February 2010

Dogs are animals and even the most well-behaved dogs can act unpredictably at times. I definitely wouldn't trust our dog with our (as of now nonexistent) children until the kids were older and had learned the rules stated above. I would never forgive myself if something happened and either a child or a dog was hurt because of negligence.

DanielleD7782 · February 2010

I voted other bc I think it depends on the dog to be honest. My mom and I each have cocker spaniels. Her dog has a complete different personality than my dog. Her dog, Sadie, does not do well with children. She barks, chases and tries to nip at them any chance she can get. My dog, Ruby, is very mild mannered. She actually only woofs when the doorbell rings. She is around my future step-son (6 years old) with no problems. BUT we did not just let her run wild. We have had her for over a year now and watched her very closely with the little guy. Ruby has also been around my nephew who is 1 year old and dealt with him pulling her ears, etc.

My brother had 2 english bulldogs (a male & female). When they had my neice he caught the male inside the pack n play tearing up her stuffed animal...imagine if the baby had been inside! So he got rid of the dog the next day...literally. Its really hard to make that choice, but the safety of the child must come first!

ac_in_dc · February 2010

I think to some extent it depends on the dog. Willard's the 3rd dog I've had and he's definitely the most tolerant around kids. I would set different boundaries for different kinds of dogs--based on both breed and individual temperament.

I think you have to observe the kid as well. Some kids instinctively know how to approach and treat animals. I was like this. My sister, on the other hand, was 3 years older than me but was always doing stupid things with animals (chasing them down, smothering them, invading their personal space, etc).

agk0125 · February 2010

Dogs are animals and children are children. Both are unpredictable even if you think they are incredibly well behaved. I would be equally nervous that a child would provoke the dog as I would the dog wouldn't know how to act around the child.

I think the idea situation is that the dog enters the home after the child so that it only knows that home with a baby.

ac_in_dc · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_poll-dogs-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a63ade0-d2c5-49d5-a02b-2acf0904db7ePost:8d7c4033-2d17-4fda-bf69-fbfe03c17587">Re: Poll: Dogs and Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]I voted other bc I think it depends on the dog to be honest. My mom and I each have cocker spaniels. Her dog has a complete different personality than my dog. Her dog, Sadie, does not do well with children. She barks, chases and tries to nip at them any chance she can get. My dog, Ruby, is very mild mannered. She actually only woofs when the doorbell rings. She is around my future step-son (6 years old) with no problems. BUT we did not just let her run wild. We have had her for over a year now and watched her very closely with the little guy. Ruby has also been around my nephew who is 1 year old and dealt with him pulling her ears, etc. My brother had 2 english bulldogs (a male & female). When they had my neice he caught the male inside the pack n play tearing up her stuffed animal...imagine if the baby had been inside! So he got rid of the dog the next day...literally. Its really hard to make that choice, but the safety of the child must come first!
Posted by DanielleD7782[/QUOTE]

I don't know the whole story here, but I've seen lots of dogs tear up toys that wouldn't dream of biting a person. Sounds like toy confusion to me and getting rid of the dog was a drastic measure. But again, I don't know the situation.

Stackeye210 · February 2010

I believe that children and ANY animal need to be supervised. Obviously, I'm not talking goldfish here, but I think that it's irresponsible to leave a child alone with any animal.

Actually, even goldfish need supervision. We have fish and I'm overly paranoid that Lil Stack will pull the fishtank down on herself somehow. I never let her in the office without me for that exact reason. Mr Stack had a friend where the fish tank fell on him when he was little and he lost an eye.

squirrly · February 2010

I was around dogs and horses and all sorts of animals from birth. I used to crawl in the dog house with my grandfather's dog to play with her puppies when they were way too young to be played with. She watched me like a hawk, but didn't bother me. That said - I would never allow that to happen with my child or my dog.

I also had the unfortunate experience of finding pieces of my kitten after she was mauled by a pitt and a dobie when I was about 3 or so. I was never allowed to play outside at that house unless an adult was outside too because our neighbor had 5 dogs he trained as attack/fighting dogs, and they occasionally would break out of their pens/etc.

Bottom line - kids need to learn how to behave around animals, and animals need to learn how to behave around kids. But parents are the ones ultimately responsible and should remember that any animal, no matter how wonderful or loving, is still an animal and can be dangerous and unpredictable if put in the right (wrong?) situation.

AlexiaANDRobert · February 2010

I had Lola in the shopping cart one day at Bass Pro Shop. Most of the time no one noticed she was in there, but if she popped her little head up, kids immediately stuck their hands in the cart. It was a pain in the ass that parent's didn't teach these children to ask before petting a strange dog and that they immediately just stuck their little hands in her face.

In about 4 hours at Bass Pro, and maybe 25 children, only ONE little boy said "Ma'm, can I may I please pet the little black dog?" <- that's exactly how he said it!

It was the most adorable thing ever and I thanked his mother for teaching her son manners. He even knew to put his hand out so she could sniff it first.

I grew up with dogs and still knew that I couldn't just pet a stranger's dog.

temerityjane · February 2010

I voted dog/babysitter. No, I wouldn't leave an infant alone with Brinkley, but I'm not even a little bit concerned. We lay on him, push him, shove him, take his food, pull his tail while he eats, I clean the crust off his eyes every morning (I know, awful, but if I don't, he won't be able to see). He knows how to play gently and he knows how to play rough and he somehow knows when to do each. He's NEVER bitten.

However, he IS an animal, and if we have a kid, they will be taught that. First and foremost, Brinkley is an animal and we cannot read his mind, and there may come a day where animal-ness overcomes his training. A kid will be taught not to antagonize the dog the ways we have antagonized the dog.

Since Brinkley is so large, we often run into children in the park who are scared of him. He's the most perfect, most patient dog for introducing to scared children because he is so incredibly gentle.

OR HE'S A MONSTAAAAH!

nthomas983 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_poll-dogs-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a63ade0-d2c5-49d5-a02b-2acf0904db7ePost:af86b610-b103-4dab-bfb2-08b0ebff7274">Re: Poll: Dogs and Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister, on the other hand, was 3 years older than me but was always doing stupid things with animals (chasing them down, smothering them, invading their personal space, etc).
Posted by ac_in_dc[/QUOTE]

I have a cousin like this - pulling tails, chasing them around with sticks, etc. As an animal lover from birth, it drove me crazy even when I was little. If my future children ever behave that way around animals...well, they won't, as it will be nipped in the bud real quick.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

I grew up with animals and would love to have both kids an animals in my house. That said, I got quite a few nips from the cat when I was a toddler. Live and learn. I know it will be hard to take care of pets and kids, but it really is a great experience.

However, if we have a dog, the child and the dog will ALWAYS be supervised and the child will be taught how to treat a dog from a young age (do not touch food, toys, tail, sleeping dogs, let the dog smell you, etc).

betrothed123 · February 2010

I don't have an across the board stance on this issue. I think it needs to be decided on a case by case basis, not dependant so much on breed, but more disposition of the dog and child. For example, my SIL has 2 dogs. They are both good dogs. My niece was a holy terror. Whether or not you were supervising her she was being evil to those poor dogs. If I was in my SIL's shoes, I would have found someone to take care of the dogs until she was old enough to chill out a bit (which she did), and learn how to interact with dogs. I would do this for the dogs' safety.

However, I've seen children who are respectful toward dogs, and if I ended up with a child like that, I woudln't have a problem with owning a well-mannered dog at the same time and simply supervising them when they were allowed to interact.

Brie2010 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_poll-dogs-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a63ade0-d2c5-49d5-a02b-2acf0904db7ePost:d1553b16-7eff-4ae9-ae62-09b6d46d979a">Re: Poll: Dogs and Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll: Dogs and Kids : I don't know the whole story here, but I've seen lots of dogs tear up toys that wouldn't dream of biting a person. Sounds like toy confusion to me and getting rid of the dog was a drastic measure. But again, I don't know the situation.
Posted by ac_in_dc[/QUOTE]

Uh, yeah. My dog will chew on/tear up stuffed toys all the time, including on our bed. That doesn't mean he's going to bite us.

temerityjane · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_poll-dogs-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a63ade0-d2c5-49d5-a02b-2acf0904db7ePost:bbf22188-c52b-4e5a-903a-8401e623065b">Re: Poll: Dogs and Kids</a>:
[QUOTE] However, I've seen children who are respectful toward dogs, and if I ended up with a child like that, I woudln't have a problem with owning a well-mannered dog at the same time and simply supervising them when they were allowed to interact.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I already have a plan to help learn future hypothetical child(ren) how to be kind to Brinkley.</div><div>
</div><div>I'm just going to institute a household board and votes will be based on time served and seniority. Then I'll just continually remind the kid that Brinkley was here first. The kid will have to be nice to the dog if he doesn't want to get voted into living in a storage closet.</div><div>
</div><div>In seriousness, though - respect and kind treatment of our dog and all animals is non-negotiable.

</div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

Oh, and as someone who has had mostly beagles - they are great family pets, but you DO NOT take food away from them, EVER.

Our second beagle was great. He was sweet. He was dumb. He was energetic. But we adopted him because he was in a family with small children (a 3-year-old and 6-year-old) and he nipped the 3-year-old twice because the kid wasn't so great at understanding dogs. I think the parents did the right thing in giving him up. The dog never bit anyone else, but my brother and I were middle school/high school age and had already had 3 dogs before we got Bandit (including our first beagle, who we had at the same time, who WAS very nippy).

AlexiaANDRobert · February 2010

I get really upset when I see people get rid of a dog away before the baby is even born. That really sucks for the dog.

Brie2010 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_poll-dogs-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a63ade0-d2c5-49d5-a02b-2acf0904db7ePost:933e678e-84c1-497e-9584-bd8272133345">Re: Poll: Dogs and Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, and as someone who has had mostly beagles - they are great family pets, but you DO NOT take food away from them, EVER. Our second beagle was great. He was sweet. He was dumb. He was energetic. But we adopted him because he was in a family with small children (a 3-year-old and 6-year-old) and he nipped the 3-year-old twice because the kid wasn't so great at understanding dogs. I think the parents did the right thing in giving him up. The dog never bit anyone else, but my brother and I were middle school/high school age and had already had 3 dogs before we got Bandit (including our first beagle, who we had at the same time, who WAS very nippy).
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

We have a beagle, and he will growl as a warning if you get close to his rawhide. We can take food out of his mouth--except that.

That said, I really am not a fan of breed generalizations. Unless you're buying a dog from a reputable breeder that does extensive genetic testing and shows their dogs, you're not necessarily going to get a dog that conforms to the generalizations made about breeds.

Example: golden retrievers are supposed to be gentle, loving family dogs that are great with kids. People say, "OMG, we have a kid, we have to get a golden!" But they're popular, and have been overbred by crappy backyard breeders and puppy mills, and now, yeah, there are plenty of goldens that are aggressive, hate kids, and have all kinds of sad genetic problems because of bad breeding.

IMO, the breed of the dog means very little nowadays, unless we're talking an actual properly bred, championed show dog. (And yeah, 90-95% of breeders out there are bad breeders.)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

Danielle, when I was little I used to squeeze my grandmother's cocker spaniel so hard that he yelped. Poor dog. I did it 2-3 times and my mom flipped out on me each time. I'm lucky I didn't grow up to become a serial killer. I'm also lucky the dog was super sweet and had cataracts.

NuggetBrain · February 2010

I probably will have to supervise my dogs around my kids and go on a case by case basis. Our friends have a golden who I've never heard even bark. Ever. At all. And they have an 8 month old son who the dog lets sit on him, lay on him, play with his tail, pull his ears, steal his toys, etc. One day they came into the kitchen to see their son playing in the dog's food and water dishes (with food and water in them), and the dog just sitting there like "well I guess I'll eat when he's done." I would have no problem leaving my child around that dog.

Now Precious, I'd have an issue with because she's not used to kids. She doesn't mind when Noodle's niece is around her or playing in the same room or whatever, but when she tries to pet Precious there's a bit of growling involved.

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