Eloping and Registering

dwest2201 · May 2010

I don't think that if you elope you get to register. However, IF lots of your family bug you about what to get you THEN and only then I think it would be acceptable to register at ONE store and make sure the message area of the registry says something to the effect of "We had a very private ceremony and were not expecting gifts but have had many requests for a list of things we need so here it is... Thank you!" It would be VERY rude to make one without being prompted or to register for tons of things or at multiple stores. It's a tricky situation and I think that a lot of it will have to do with how you and your families feel about the situation.

Also, I get what you guys are saying about the whole AHR being a gift grabber etc. But in all honesty having a wedding and reception then expecting gifts because you invited them to witness your wedding and come to the reception is just as gift grabby IMO. I get that its "proper" to send a gift to the newlyweds, or bring a card and check... we all know this. But honestly, I don't think that you should have that attitude towards who deserves gifts and who doesn't.

I was married before and we invited the people who were very close to us only (it was a very intimate outdoor wedding and reception) and I knew that some people would get us gifts or bring us money etc, just because they are that type. But there were tons of family members who are not well off or our college friends (we were 21 and 22 when we got married) who were coming and not getting us gifts. No one in our wedding party got us gifts because they were our age and broke from buying their attire etc. It's not about gifts regardless of how you have your wedding ceremony or reception. The reception is about celebrating your wedding day with the ones you love not about inviting people who you know will get you great gifts or give you a wad of cash! If someone wants to get you a gift they should be able to do so. If someone is too broke to buy you a gift but is close to you and wants to share in your day and enjoy celebrating with you they should not feel guilty for not bringing a gift or check for you in exchange for their dinner at your reception!

Sorry for the long rant, but it really upsets me that people are self righteous about who deserves what in terms of gifts at a wedding. They are just that, GIFTS... if someone wants to give one they should be able to and if they ask for suggestions they shoudln't be ran off by saying we/they eloped dw'ed so they don't get to register/don'f get them anything.

katanne9 · May 2010

Dwest - IMO registering is dominantly used for shower gifts more so than wedding gifts. If you're eloping you shouldn't have a shower, and if you're DWing than a very small group of people - as you should only have people at the showers who are invited to the wedding. If you're eloping or DWing you're choosing to skip that.

And I dont' think anyone here was saying or is thinking that their guests are in any expected to bring gifts nor are gifts the purpose or goal. I stand by what I said before.

Eloping and Registering

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