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Registry Question

jjeanhiltonjjeanhilton member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum

Hi all,

Looking for some opinions here :)

My FI and I are currently living in SC and our wedding is going to be next Sept. in the Boston area. We've recently moved from up North and that's where all our family and friends are. I have asked that we not have a shower for various reasons. One, it's difficult for me to get time off from work and expensive to fly up, and I want to reserve the limited vacation time I have for the honeymoon. However, various family members have asked that I at least do a registry as they wish to purchase gifts instead of gifting money, because they feel that it is more personable. I do agree with them, but my concern is getting a lot of gifts at the wedding itself and having to ship them all to my home and the cost that is incurred. (It would be more efficient to purchase those gifts with wedding money..)

As a compromise I was thinking of creating a small registry and putting a link to it on our wedding website, and writing a small caption that states that the registry is avilable for those who wish to purchase gifts, though ask that the purchase be made online and shipped to the couples home in lieu of bringing them to the wedding. Though this seems a bit tacky to me. This might appease the few family members that wish to purchase, while not obligating anyone or giving us any added costs. Thoughts?  

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Re: Registry Question

  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Even if you make a statement about shipping gifts to your home (which you probably shouldn't, btw), someone will still bring a gift to the wedding. You really can't avoid it.

    The vast majority of people have the common sense to ship the gift, but there always will be some who bring a wrapped present to the reception.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    You're right, it would be in poor taste to ask guests to ship gifts on your wedding website.  Make a small registry for those that are asking, and leave it off the website altogether.  Just give that information to those that specifically ask for it.  Be sure you include your shipping address when you set up the registry for those that ask about shipping.  

    You are going to have to plan to get some gifts home.  That's just part of the deal with a long distance wedding.  You can ask your parents or a close friend if he/she would be willing to assist with the logistics, but you're going to have to build the cost of shipping into your wedding budget.  If one of them has extra storage space, you may be able to ask them to hold the gifts for you for a while until you are able to make the trip by car and pick everything up.  

    The only other option I can see is to just donate any gifts that you receive at the actual wedding.  
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  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
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    Sorry but part of being the bride and groom is transporting your own gifts.
     
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  • Cackle6Cackle6 member
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    I was in the same boat, lived in one state, had the wedding in another. My wedding registry consultant at Bed Bath and Beyond recommended that I just return any larger items that I couldn't transport, and then re-purchase at a store near my home. We didn't have that many people bring actual gifts, but the ones that did, it was really helpful to return and repurchase. And since it was recommended by one of the employees, I didn't feel bad doing it.

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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-question-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:78eb309f-3642-489e-b544-2aafc4f7d0dePost:198757a6-fbbe-493e-b72d-d7660ee219f4">Re: Registry Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was in the same boat, lived in one state, had the wedding in another. My wedding registry consultant at Bed Bath and Beyond recommended that I just <strong>return any larger items that I couldn't transport, and then re-purchase at a store near my home</strong>. We didn't have that many people bring actual gifts, but the ones that did, it was really helpful to return and repurchase. And since it was recommended by one of the employees, I didn't feel bad doing it.
    Posted by Cackle6[/QUOTE]

    this. Just as long as the registry has your shipping address, there isn't much more you can do.
     I went to a baby shower recently and tried to have the crib mattress shipped from the Toys R' Us store in Nashua, NH (they don't know what they're doing- the associate kept calling the closing mgr and he refused to come to the front of the store and told her to do it on her own even though she didn't know how- we went to a Babies R' Us) to one in FL- they were going to charge an extra $30 to ship a $50 mattress.... total BS. We bought it and wrapped it and told her to just have her parents return it and use the GC to buy it in FL.
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  • jjeanhiltonjjeanhilton member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-question-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:78eb309f-3642-489e-b544-2aafc4f7d0dePost:ecac7900-6a58-45ac-b69a-a02996a95ff4">Re: Registry Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Trust people to have common sense, they will know it would be difficult for you to juggle those gifts home, and the considerate ones will have it shipped to the house without you having to ask. Stores ask you to provide a shipping address when you register, guests are (mostly) smart enough to figure it out. Anything brought to the wedding can be shipped back, or returned and repurchased at home (just be sure to repurchase the same thing).
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    great idea! It's not something I would do for a whole list, but for the few things that make it the wedding and shipping isn't feasible for, I like!

    I plan to keep it small, and where most of those who are requesting we have one are close family I don't mind speaking with them about the logistics.

    Thanks everyone :)
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  • Texasgal05Texasgal05
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    I would just make a note to yourself that you need to have some time after the wedding (day after or something) and you can return any items recieved at the wedding and re-purchase them when you get home.
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  • mmi102581mmi102581 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I am in the same situation as you are, however my wedding is in NC, which is my homestate and I live in TX.  It is still up to guests whether they want to shop online or give you gifts in person.  I am having a couple of showers back home as well as whoever may bring gifts to the wedding.  We have a wedding website, although guests are still welcome to ship gift or bring them to the shower or wedding.  It is completely up to them and will be up to us as the couple of ship them back to TX where we are living now.
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