I would love you advice and/or opinions

nataliero0924 · July 2011

My FI got the waivers for his tattoos so he is clear to join the AF! Here is my dilemma... When we got engaged I had started planning our wedding for April of 2012. Now that the AF has been thrown into the equation that date may not be possible due to boot camp and school etc. I want to know what the benefits of getting married by the JOP and having a vow renewal were.. Is it really going to make that big of a difference if I already have health ins and everything else? Plus, I don't know what kind of response we would get after for the vow renewal (like if people wouldn't want to come because we are already married, or people having big opinions on me wearing the big white wedding dress, etc).. I'm just looking for whatever advice you ladies can give me from you experiences and what you've seen from other people! Thanks!!

KendallR10 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:6ad11200-896e-49a6-a7f8-e50c473fc5e2">I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI got the waivers for his tattoos so he is clear to join the AF! Here is my dilemma... When we got engaged I had started planning our wedding for April of 2012. Now that the AF has been thrown into the equation that date may not be possible due to boot camp and school etc. I want to know what the benefits of getting married by the JOP and having a vow renewal were.. Is it really going to make that big of a difference if I already have health ins and everything else? Plus, I don't know what kind of response we would get after for the vow renewal (like if people wouldn't want to come because we are already married, or people having big opinions on me wearing the big white wedding dress, etc).. I'm just looking for whatever advice you ladies can give me from you experiences and what you've seen from other people! Thanks!!
Posted by nataliero0924[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Wait. Don't JOP. Have a wedding and not just a vow renewal. Changing your date isn't that big of a deal. I thought about JOP and the more I think about it now the worse of an idea it becomes or could have been

</div>

Sammy0709 · July 2011

DH and I had a JOP because that's what we wanted. We had a vow renewal because that's something our families wanted. If I wanted the big fancy day for myself I probably would not have JOP'd. In my experience people showed up regardless of the fact that we were already married. I'd say we had the same number we could expect at any other family event. There really is no benefit to doing both unless you are a people pleaser like me but that's just my opinion.

nataliero0924 · July 2011

I really want my big wedding to be my ACTUAL wedding, not have the JOP being my real wedding. That's just the way I am, but I wanted to see if there were any other benefits to doing the JOP besides for health insurance and stuff like that. (And when I say REAL wedding I know that if we would do it after that it would be a vow renewal, but you understand what I'm trying to say hahah)

KendallR10 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:d387df55-9a89-4569-a2ae-275eebc9bd5d">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I really want my big wedding to be my ACTUAL wedding, not have the JOP being my real wedding. That's just the way I am, but I wanted to see if there were any other benefits to doing the JOP besides for health insurance and stuff like that. (And when I say REAL wedding I know that if we would do it after that it would be a vow renewal, but you understand what I'm trying to say hahah)
Posted by nataliero0924[/QUOTE]
Even the benefits aren't worth it. The money isn't worth it either. <div>
</div><div>I've been planning since novmeber and its stressful. Do you really want the stress of planning twice?</div>

nataliero0924 · July 2011

Probably not! I will just have to wait until the dates come through and then just push everything back a few monthes! Most of my vendors are being very supportive!

Sammy0709 · July 2011

TBH my JOP caused zero stress because it was just me DH and our witness. OP: I would skip the JOP in your case, judging by where you seem to be coming from.

KendallR10 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:18ee3eeb-896e-4118-baea-8bf75e27be05">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Probably not! I will just have to wait until the dates come through and then just push everything back a few monthes! Most of my vendors are being very supportive!
Posted by nataliero0924[/QUOTE]
Military clause. It will be your best friend. Its a clause you put in your contracts that says you can move your date with no penalty due to the military

calindi · July 2011

Just because it hasn't been stated, even though it sounds like this would be your plan anyway, but having a JOP and then a vow renewal (that looks an awful lot like a traditional wedding) is totally cool as long as everything's straightforward and guests are aware it's a vow renewal.

Sorry, just figured a disclaimer was necessary in case someone else was using this thread to get advice. I always hate when a perfectly sane conversation goes down the crazy tubes when a lurker pops their head up to tell us about their super secret wedding followed by a "real wedding" (and they don't say it facetiously like you, OP, either!)

nataliero0924 · July 2011

Yes, that was another thing. If I get married by JOP, I would not want to hide it! Marriage is not something that should ever need to be hidden or to act like it's some dirty little secret. I'm not saying that JOP isn't good enough or something like that either! It's just that it wasn't what I had originally wanted. I'm just being a girl about the whole situation! I guess the only other issue would be, after we get married, if he is stationed somewhere will the AF pay to move me to be with him?

iluvmytxrgr · July 2011

No, the AF will only pay to move you to his new duty station if you are married before he leaves for BMT.
I recomend waiting until after he finishes to have your wedding. However, if you decide to get married before, why not just have the wedding you want instead of a JOP? It honestly doesn't take that long to plan a nice wedding.

nataliero0924 · July 2011

I just don't know if we would be able to pull it off in time. From what his recruiter told us, he will go to MEPS and then pick his 5 possible jobs. Once one of his jobs comes available they will pull him and say "hey you will leave on this date" and that date could be anywhere from two weeks notice to six months notice. Then he will leave for boot camp and right after that he will go into school. If I would have enough notice then I would be able to, but I just don't think it would be possible to plan something in two weeks if that were the case.. Plus my parents are paying for our wedding. They had originally told me the budget the could afford for our wedding in april of 2012 and I don't think moving it up a few months or so would hurt them but if the AF came calling in, lets say, September or something like that then I definitely wouldn't want to stress their budget they set..

nataliero0924 · July 2011

Also, forgive my ignorance, but what is BMT?

kara811 · July 2011

BMT: Basic Military Training/boot camp

I suggest to wait until after basic and when he gets to his duty station. It will be easier to figure out what kind of schedule he would have when he gets there. Also, at least by that time, you will already have some experience/knowledge of what military life is like and how it is like when your SO is away.

k40t1kch1k · July 2011

I haven't seen this brought up either (unless I missed it, sorry I'm on watch and SO exhausted) - if you do decide on a JOP, are you absolutely sure it won't ruin the moment for you and FH when the ceremony day does arrive? I've had some coworkers back in the day who went along with it and later said that they did regret it, because they felt like it wasn't real.

The money will come, the groom will show up (if he's stationed elsewhere, all he has to do is drop a leave chit saying that he's getting married..they'll understand), just make sure you won't feel differently..that, in my opinion, is the most important.

My FH is currently stationed in Japan, and I'm in FL. We've talked about it for a while now and made the decision to do a JOP this year when he comes to the States on leave, and go ahead with the ceremony in September of 2013.

Even though we're engaged and he has his choice of coast, there is still no guarantee that he would be able to get orders to Florida for the rest of his time in, and we agreed that it was not worth the stress of worrying and arguing with the detailer...and it would definitely suck if he ended up in VA or even more North than that. So we're going to get the paperwork done, and file a paper that says when it's time for him to choose a new command, they cannot place him outside of 50 miles of where I'm at.

So for us, the JOP is simply so we can be together again (finally), and be able to plan our wedding together. Our wedding ceremony is, for us, exactly that. We're not wearing rings and I will not be changing my name until then. We've told his family (I really have no family), and they support our decision.

BMT is Basic Military Training. =-) Different branches call it different names..I've either called it Basic or Boot.

kara811 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:2e34c70a-9de1-4624-b431-8cf167f9ce5d">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't seen this brought up either (unless I missed it, sorry I'm on watch and SO exhausted) - if you do decide on a JOP, are you absolutely sure it won't ruin the moment for you and FH when the ceremony day does arrive? I've had some coworkers back in the day who went along with it and later said that they did regret it, because they felt like it wasn't real. The money will come, the groom will show up (if he's stationed elsewhere, all he has to do is drop a leave chit saying that he's getting married..they'll understand), just make sure you won't feel differently..that, in my opinion, is the most important. My FH is currently stationed in Japan, and I'm in FL. We've talked about it for a while now and made the decision to do a JOP this year when he comes to the States on leave, and go ahead with the ceremony in September of 2013<strong>. Even though we're engaged and he has his choice of coast, there is still no guarantee that he would be able to get orders to Florida for the rest of his time in, and we agreed that it was not worth the stress of worrying and arguing with the detailer...and it would definitely suck if he ended up in VA or even more North than that.</strong> So we're going to get the paperwork done, and file a paper that says when it's time for him to choose a new command, they cannot place him outside of 50 miles of where I'm at. So for us, the JOP is simply so we can be together again (finally), and be able to plan our wedding together. Our wedding ceremony is, for us, exactly that<strong>. We're not wearing rings and I will not be changing my name until then. </strong>We've told his family (I really have no family), and they support our decision. BMT is Basic Military Training. =-) Different branches call it different names..I've either called it Basic or Boot.
Posted by k40t1kch1k[/QUOTE]

<div>To the first bolded part, just because he has his choice of coast doesn't mean he will end up there. H is also stationed in Japan, he was supposed to have his choice of coast, which was West Coast, instead we now have orders to Norfolk, a place we really did not want to go to. </div><div>
</div><div>To the second bolded part, are you planning on living as a "married couple." I only asked this because you said you aren't wearing rings. Will you be introducing yourselves to others as husband and wife already? Also, JOP isn't just "getting the paperwork done" that is your actual wedding. There are others who have only had JOP, and stating something like that demeans those people. </div>

LetsHikeToday · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:4763949c-a496-4af1-8892-bde811055198">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]No, the AF will only pay to move you to his new duty station if you are married before he leaves for BMT. I recomend waiting until after he finishes to have your wedding. However, if you decide to get married before, why not just have the wedding you want instead of a JOP? It honestly doesn't take that long to plan a nice wedding.
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]

I totally agree ith this! We had all the time in the world to plan out wedding and I WISH I would have had q short engagement! If you know what you want, you can do it fast.

SamiJoeB · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:4763949c-a496-4af1-8892-bde811055198">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]No, the AF will only pay to move you to his new duty station if you are married before he leaves for BMT. I recommend waiting until after he finishes to have your wedding. However, if you decide to get married before, why not just have the wedding you want instead of a JOP? It honestly doesn't take that long to plan a nice wedding.
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]

My bestie is married to someone in the AF. They got married while he was on leave from tech school (JOP by the way, that was their "real wedding"), he got his orders to AZ, moved into base housing, talked to TMO (I think that's the right abbreviation) and he came home, helped her and the military movers pack up all their stuff, had X amount of days to drive back to AZ with his wife, and was reimbursed for all his expenses. So the AF will pay to move you, but perhaps not up front.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:2e34c70a-9de1-4624-b431-8cf167f9ce5d">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]My FH is currently stationed in Japan, and I'm in FL. We've talked about it for a while now and made the decision to do a JOP this year when he comes to the States on leave, and go ahead with the ceremony in September of 2013. Even though we're engaged and he has his choice of coast, there is still no guarantee that he would be able to get orders to Florida for the rest of his time in, and we agreed that it was not worth the stress of worrying and arguing with the detailer...and it would definitely suck if he ended up in VA or even more North than that. So we're <strong>going to get the paperwork done</strong>, and file a paper that says when it's time for him to choose a new command, they cannot place him outside of 50 miles of where I'm at. <strong>So for us, the JOP is simply so we can be together again (finally), and be able to plan our wedding together. Our wedding ceremony is, for us, exactly that. We're not wearing rings and I will not be changing my name until then. We've told his family (I really have no family), and they support our decision. </strong>BMT is Basic Military Training. =-) Different branches call it different names..I've either called it Basic or Boot.
Posted by k40t1kch1k[/QUOTE]

I'm glad that his family is so supportive, but if you're not planning on wearing rings, are you going to be calling each other H and W? Because if not, this is fraud. I understand being frustrated by him being so far away, my H is stationed in Japan as well and we'll PCS in Feb 2012. I'm not trying to talk you out of anything, but that is fraud. Collecting benefits of a married couple (ie colocation) but not presenting yourself as such, is committing fraud. Some people will say "Oh! whatever, it doesn't matter, do whatever makes you happy", but if some people said "Go ahead, jump off a cliff, it'll be fine" would you? Calindi has the specifics on this, but I'm pretty sure it's punishable by article 15, half months pay or separation. To me it wouldn't be worth the possible jeopardy I would be putting my FI and my own career in, I would just wear the rings and change my name (or just wear the rings.. no one says you have to change your name at all) It sounds like you have everything planned out, and I hope it works out for the best.

Also, and this is just a general disclaimer to everyone. When you JOP, that is your wedding, you are after you "just sign the paperwork", married. Like Kara said, it's offensive to those who chose to just have a JOP. This whole JOP/VR."Real Wedding" this is a hot button issue, especially on this board. I'm sure no one meant any offense by it, but just to clear the air your JOP is your real wedding. When anyone says they had a JOP and then a VR (but the say "real wedding"), you're implying that people who only had a JOP are somehow less married than you are, just because you're having a VR later. Just a heads up..

nataliero0924 · July 2011

I'm sorry if I offended anyone! When I, personally, was talking that was not what I meant at all! What I meant for myself was that I WANT my "real wedding" to be the one that I have been planning for 7 months. I think JOP is wonderful, if that is the right choice for you.

calindi · July 2011

No, no, Natalie, you're fine - you even said that you didn't mean "real wedding" as any criticism or judgement of a JOP, just a way of phrasing it. And it doesn't sound like you're planning to keep it a secret, which as Sami said is fraud.

I think her explanation was directed at k40t1kch1k. We get a lot of girls who figure they're not hurting anyone by getting married in secret and then hosting a "real wedding" when most or all of their guests aren't aware the couple is already married.

To accept real tangible benefits that are designated for a married couple without presenting yourself as a married couple is fraud. It's punishable within the military code of justice, and just because someone knows someone who got away with it doesn't make it right. Obviously people will do whatever they want, but we at least let people know the legal ramifications, and the potential ramifications and backlash if their family and friends later find out they were lied to. Plenty of people have had beautiful JOP ceremonies, and then held a lovely vow renewal for family and friends later (even wore a big white dress, had bridesmaids, cut the cake, etc.) The key is being up front with people, that's all.

iluvmytxrgr · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:2e34c70a-9de1-4624-b431-8cf167f9ce5d">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't seen this brought up either (unless I missed it, sorry I'm on watch and SO exhausted) - if you do decide on a JOP, are you absolutely sure it won't ruin the moment for you and FH when the ceremony day does arrive? I've had some coworkers back in the day who went along with it and later said that they did regret it, because they felt like it wasn't real. The money will come, the groom will show up (if he's stationed elsewhere, all he has to do is drop a leave chit saying that he's getting married..they'll understand), just make sure you won't feel differently..that, in my opinion, is the most important. My FH is currently stationed in Japan, and I'm in FL. We've talked about it for a while now and made the decision to do a JOP this year when he comes to the States on leave, and go ahead with the ceremony in September of 2013. Even though we're engaged and he has his choice of coast, there is still no guarantee that he would be able to get orders to Florida for the rest of his time in, and we agreed that it was not worth the stress of worrying and arguing with the detailer...and it would definitely suck if he ended up in VA or even more North than that. So we're going to get the paperwork done, and file a paper that says when it's time for him to choose a new command, they cannot place him outside of 50 miles of where I'm at. <strong><em><u>So for us, the JOP is simply so we can be together again (finally), and be able to plan our wedding together. Our wedding ceremony is, for us, exactly that. We're not wearing rings and I will not be changing my name until then. We've told his family (I really have no family), and they support our decision</u></em></strong>. BMT is Basic Military Training. =-) Different branches call it different names..I've either called it Basic or Boot.
Posted by k40t1kch1k[/QUOTE]

This is called fraud and is punishable by law according to the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Please rethink it.
Also, just because your H can REQUEST a specific coast does not mean he will get it. The needs of the AF come first. They also can very well station him more than 50 miles away from you. Please don't count on him moving close to where you live. You would be setting your self up for disapointment.

Beachy730 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:2e34c70a-9de1-4624-b431-8cf167f9ce5d">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't seen this brought up either (unless I missed it, sorry I'm on watch and SO exhausted) - if you do decide on a JOP, are you absolutely sure it won't ruin the moment for you and FH when the ceremony day does arrive? I've had some coworkers back in the day who went along with it and later said that they did regret it, because they felt like it wasn't real. The money will come, the groom will show up (if he's stationed elsewhere, all he has to do is drop a leave chit saying that he's getting married..they'll understand), just make sure you won't feel differently..that, in my opinion, is the most important. My FH is currently stationed in Japan, and I'm in FL. We've talked about it for a while now and made the decision to do a JOP this year when he comes to the States on leave, and go ahead with the ceremony in September of 2013.<strong> Even though we're engaged and he has his choice of coast, there is still no guarantee that he would be able to get orders to Florida for the rest of his time in, and we agreed that it was not worth the stress of worrying and arguing with the detailer...and it would definitely suck if he ended up in VA or even more North than that. So we're going to get the paperwork done, and file a paper that says when it's time for him to choose a new command, they cannot place him outside of 50 miles of where I'm at. </strong>So for us, the JOP is simply so we can be together again (finally), and be able to plan our wedding together. Our wedding ceremony is, for us, exactly that. We're not wearing rings and I will not be changing my name until then. We've told his family (I really have no family), and they support our decision. BMT is Basic Military Training. =-) Different branches call it different names..I've either called it Basic or Boot.
Posted by k40t1kch1k[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Sorry, didn't mean to hit submit the first time.</div><div>
</div><div>What branch is your FI in? I've never heard of any paperwork that can dictate where they can give him orders to. When you marry into the military, you don't get to dictate how far they can move you, or say that since you refuse to leave Florida they need to station your FI within 50 miles. </div>

Sammy0709 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:3f8cb0ed-362a-4b6d-9df6-8ee1a7ea0e0a">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions : This is called fraud and is punishable by law according to the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Please rethink it. Also, just because your H can REQUEST a specific coast does not mean he will get it. The needs of the AF come first. They also can very well station him more than 50 miles away from you. Please don't count on him moving close to where you live. You would be setting your self up for disapointment.
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]

This. One of DH's superiors was stationed 3 hours (over 50 miles) away from his wife because there was no open billet for her here.

KendallR10 · July 2011

I'm not trying to be mean but I'm going to be honest

You are only a FI and soon to be wife. When you become his wife this will still hold true

The military does not give a rats a$s what you want. You were not issued to him. The military does not care about you. It is not about your wants and needs its about the miltary's.

Beachy730 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:26e7fc0d-84d2-4f15-bac2-46221c989af9">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not trying to be mean but I'm going to be honest You are only a FI and soon to be wife. When you become his wife this will still hold true <strong>The military does not give a rats a$s what you want. You were not issued to him. The military does not care about you. It is not about your wants and needs its about the miltary's. </strong>
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

<div>As mean as it sounds, this is exactly true. Yes, you get to make requests, but where the military needs you always trumps where you want to be. </div>

KendallR10 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:fa7615e1-b8ee-41e3-aaa8-c3c459b31441">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions : As mean as it sounds, this is exactly true. Yes, you get to make requests, but where the military needs you always trumps where you want to be.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
I'm glad its true. I was like "Oh crap if I'm wrong I'm gonna sound stupid"

Sammy0709 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:8408cf6c-128f-48b3-a8ab-cc85dfe30105">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions : I'm glad its true. I was like "Oh crap if I'm wrong I'm gonna sound stupid"
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

From her post I believe they're dual military. So, although they may not end up stationed less than 50 miles apart, I know most couples end up in the same general vicinity. So, theoretically, they do care. They just also consider the needs of the branch. At least I assumed dual military because i read it as co-location. I'm guessing you read it as civilian and SM in which case you are correct.

iluvmytxrgr · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:7c68094b-c53b-446a-a263-afb7f8352eaa">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions : From her post I believe they're dual military. So, although they may not end up stationed less than 50 miles apart, I know most couples end up in the same general vicinity. So, theoretically, they do care. They just also consider the needs of the branch. At least I assumed dual military because i read it as co-location. I'm guessing you read it as civilian and SM in which case you are correct.
Posted by Sammy0709[/QUOTE]
I just read some of her old posts and they are dual mil. However, there is still no guarantee that they will be stationed with in 50 miles of each other. They do try to put you in the same area of the country, but it is very possible that he could end up in MD with her in FL.

KendallR10 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:7c68094b-c53b-446a-a263-afb7f8352eaa">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions : From her post I believe they're dual military. So, although they may not end up stationed less than 50 miles apart, I know most couples end up in the same general vicinity. So, theoretically, they do care. They just also consider the needs of the branch. At least I assumed dual military because i read it as co-location. I'm guessing you read it as civilian and SM in which case you are correct.
Posted by Sammy0709[/QUOTE]
I read it that way because she didn't know what BMT stood for. Even if they are dual they still really don't care about her wants or needs

kara811 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_would-love-advice-andor-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ef85c1e4-73a8-4b2c-b1bf-602875c8c3c1Post:bca6e371-8061-4d99-824b-4175a43147b0">Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I would love you advice and/or opinions : I just read some of her old posts and they are dual mil. However, there is still no guarantee that they will be stationed with in 50 miles of each other. They do try to put you in the same area of the country, but it is very possible that he could end up in MD with her in FL.
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]

<div>I also read it as co-location, but just because they are married doesn't mean they will even get that. I have a friend, she's stationed in Washington on a boat, and her H is stationed on the same ship as my H in Japan. They are trying to get co-location but it hasn't come through yet. </div><div>
</div><div>And like I said, just because the orders says he has a choice of coast does not mean he will get it. The same happened with my H, there was nothing availiable on the billet but Norfolk for us so that's where we are going. </div>

Sammy0709 · July 2011

The thing is they do care to an extent otherwise no one would ever get co-located. Saying they don't give a rats a#s is a bit overkill.

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