Trying to plan a relatively small wedding. I'm undecided about some friends I went to high school with that I'm not particularly close with but I was invited to their weddings and was in one of their weddings. Also not sure about friends of the family and how to decide who to invite. Any thoughts? How do you decide?
Thanks!
Re: How do you decide who to invite?
bottom line is; try to take obligation out of it - cut it down to the people you really truly want there.
Thank you all so much!
I feel slightly pressured to compare it to weddings I have been to, for example my cousins wedding last June that cost at least 20,000. I have no intention to spend even half that much. I have no intention to top it either.
It's just when I looked at my list, I was a little sad that there weren't a few more people. I havn't kept in close contact with some people, some on purpose. I'm worried all it will really be is family, and that it won't be all that entertaining, but I guess it is what we all make it!
Thanks!
[QUOTE]Trying to plan a relatively small wedding. I'm undecided about some friends I went to high school with that I'm not particularly close with but I was invited to their weddings and was in one of their weddings. Also not sure about friends of the family and how to decide who to invite. Any thoughts? How do you decide? Thanks!
Posted by Jdunk2008[/QUOTE]
We then came together and compared notes. We found that we were in agreement on almost everybody and those we weren't, discussed and came to a conclusion.
Like PPs said, some of it depends on who's paying; we paid for everything ourselves so no one else had a say. We did ask our folks if there was anyone they wanted to invite as a courtesy, but that's it.
We kept it small. Although, we wanted to stay around 50 people and we are at 75 now we had to cut back a lot. Our deciding factor was only to invite people who we have seen or talked to in the last year to two. It was important to us to invite people who made an effort to be part of our lives and our daughters. I didn't want to invite an aunt that I haven't seen in over 5 years and has never called me or my daughter to say hello or wish a happy birthday or anything.
Does this person know me, my fiance and our relationship? Would they be genuinely happy to celebrate our marriage? If you can't answer yes for them, then they can easily be on a "B list".
I was in a friend's wedding three years ago, but since then she rarely replied to my emails, phone calls, texts. I haven't seen her since then. She barely knows my fiance and knows nothing about our relationship. Unfortunately, she's not invited.
Best of luck to you! Though it may be a sticky situation, you'll make it through :-)
As far as friends from high school, I only invited the one that I still talk to on a regular basis. I am also the God Mother of her only child. I know she may not attend because of the date of the wedding (the day after Thanksgiving) but other people I haven't heard from in years were NOT invited.
[QUOTE]Trying to plan a relatively small wedding. I'm undecided about some friends I went to high school with that I'm not particularly close with but I was invited to their weddings and was in one of their weddings. Also not sure about friends of the family and how to decide who to invite. Any thoughts? How do you decide? Thanks!
Posted by Jdunk2008[/QUOTE]
<div>We made a rule. Since it was our wedding (meaning his and mine) we didn't invite guests that were just his or mine. We invited guest that were ours. That meant that we both had to have sat down and shared a meal with who we were inviting as a couple. This rule worked for the most part, but it became sticky when we had friends that we were close to that lived out of state/country and we didn't get the opportunity to have dinner with them. So, we each got a certain number of exceptions. To allow us to celebrate with those who weren't invited to the ceremony or reception, we are meeting somewhere after the reception for an after party in which those people got invitations to. Instead of doing it right after the reception you could do it the weekend after or even host a Sunday brunch. </div><div>
</div><div>Beware, only invite those people who are going to the wedding to your bridal showers and bachelorette party. I didn't follow this rule and ended up having to expand my guest list after invites went out. Now i'm hoping some people can't come. </div>