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Etiquette

wedding no one wants to attend?

I have an odd situation and i'm not sure what to do about it. My hubby and I eloped on sept 18th of last year with plans to do a wedding for our one year anniversary. Well we're two months from our anniversary and we dont have a thing planned. Our best man passed away, we can't depend on the other ones, i can't get the maid of honor and bridesmaid into dresses they both like that i can afford to buy because i know they can't, i had to cancel my layaway on the dress... its just been disasterous. and to beat it all whenever we mention wedding everyone is like, why are you doing a wedding, you're already married. My husband and I both really want a wedding. FOr him its hi sfirst marriage and for me a second change to get the wedding i want. Why is it we feel like no one cares about us. No one seems to share in the joy that we love each other and want to share it with everyone else. shoudl we even bother having a wedding if no one is going to show up?
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Re: wedding no one wants to attend?

  • shoudl we even bother having a wedding if no one is going to show up?No, because you're already married.Have an anniversary party if you want to celebrate.  It's inappropriate to have a wedding when you're already married.  I would be disinterested too.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    It's not that they do not care.. But you are already married.  They just do not see the point and neither do I for that matter.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • You've already had a wedding.  You eloped and excluded everyone the first time around.  You get no do-overs.Everything's going wrong?  Pretty sure that's fate telling you it's a bad idea.Have a vow renewal if you really want a party.
  • This will not go well.You are already married.  You made the choice to elope and exclude everyone, now you have to sleep in bed you made.
  • ggmaeggmae member
    5000 Comments
    You're trying too hard.
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  • It's not a wedding. You had your wedding - the day you got married. If you'd really wanted a big fancy princess day, then you could have 1. waited 2. put together something small that you could afford last year. Have an anniversary party or cocktail, if you really need one. But it's not a wedding, and people aren't interested because they know you're already married. It's like being made to be excited for Christmas when you already know what you're getting.
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  • You include the best man passing away as part of your "wah, wah, my wedding is going poorly" sob story?  I don't say this often, but grow up.
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  • PinkSuperhero. I missed that part somehow. This will definitely be more entertaining than I anticipated. Anyone wanna make bets on how long it takes her to DD?
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    does anyone think she is real?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I'm praying she'll grant us at least 30 replies. I need this after my day. Truly! Gem, perhaps you didn't use enough of those little glitter stickies on your invites? I hear those really increase the anticipation and excitement!
  • can't be real
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  • I do think there are exceptions to having a second wedding, but it sounds like the universe is telling you not to bother. Why did you elope the first time?
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  • Oh I'm sure it's MUD or a troll.
  • Come back and answer, Gem
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  • Here's a sweater for you. Please come back! http://tinyurl.com/yahpqh
  • Oh Bec, those are lovely.
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  • You suck, next time, in the two whole days you have to wait to post, think of a plan and a story instead of this drivel.  I don't understand the effort people waste when you could have made a funny.
  • Oh, Bec. You bolded it! You broke the spayshul princess day post!!
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  • Um, hellooooo! Bold text makes it more exciting! More people will come to her post now. Unlike the trainwreck that will be that 2nd wedding/vow renewal/anniversary party.
  • OH, THEN THIS SHOULD REALLY BRING THEM IN!!!!
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  • I'm in the minority, but I see nothing wrong with a Vow renewal, as long as you call it so. Also, I would keep the bridal party small or none, with a vow renewal its seems a bit odd to have a huge bp and all. Go all out on fab dress for yourself - you don't need a big bridal party.
  • This post makes me feel like I'm watching fireworks in the rain.
  • Hahahah!! Good analogy. I must have refreshed about 20 times, just hoping.
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  • ok i so didn't mean to get ppl so up in arms about it. i didn't realize i was going to get flamed so bad or i never would have posted. Not trying make anyone mad. we told everyone we were getting married, we just were not in the position to wait, we knew it was something we wanted to do we just didn't have the finances to throw a wedding then. we thought it was a cute idea to do it then on the date we wanted and celebrate later. i didn't know it was so horrible according to you all.  Maybe wedding is not the right term? i have been going over it trying to think of what to call it. i'm not looking for sympathy or... was just looking for some thoughts on it. We aren't in it for gifts or whatnot because we already have a home. i just wanted to celebrate and was trying to think of a way to get others involved.
  • You want a part to celebrate 1 year of marriage, come on. A year out of a lifetime commitment is a very short amount of time. If you really just want a party or to celebrate something volunteer to have Christmas at your house. If you were my friend/relative I wouldn't be interested in this either. 
  • I agree with twinkie. Just have a get together with your families. Even vow renewals are pretty pointless after only a year. Save that for your 10 year anniversary or something. I get that you wish you'd had a wedding, but that opportunity has passed.
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  • And you say you wanted to get others involved. Did you even ask them if they wanted to be involved? Because chances are, they don't and they think this whole thing is unnecessary.
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  • twinkie...thank you for your civil reply. I think one of the things that is so important to us, maybe not so much the "wedding" aspect of it, but because there is a near 2 hour distance between our families, we've been married 10 months and our families have never even met. i just thought it would be fun to have some food and music and get the fams together. Like i was saying in the above post we just want to have fun with it. i just didn't know how to go about getting people to come. i dont even know what you would call it. thats why i came here hoping someone would have some ideas. i'm just kind of sitting here at my comp in shock of the replys i got. you would have thought i wanted to murder the pope....
  • You don't get a do-over wedding just because it wasn't what you wanted.  You made that choice and gave it up last year.  You are not entitled to a big wedding. Throw a party, but spare the 'wedding party' the expense and pain of throwing away money on useless clothes.  Don't wear a traditional wedding dress.  Focus on celebrating you and your husbands union and sharing that with loved ones.
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