Any vegan/vegetarians/gluten-free-ers out there?

jbwed1 · July 2009

So my fh and I are both strict vegetarians...and our family and friends are very aware of this. For the most part they support it...even to the point where my family always makes sure they are all stocked up on vegan items when we come to visit, and my mother goes out of her way to eat 'like us' when I stay with her (which is great, although I totally don't expect her to do that.) Anyway, for our reception we are a little torn on how to approach the food. We definitely want to have at least most of the food be vegetarian, but are aware that for non-vegetarians to enjoy it...it typically needs to be outstanding food. If we served a fabulous veg pasta dish and/or risotto as the main course, along with apps, cocktail hr. etc...Would this be enough to 'fool' any non vegetarians out there who might otherwise think they 'need' meat to make a meal complete? I want our guests to feel satisfied...and I don't want to compromise our beliefs. (My family is from Texas...and they are big meat-eaters!)Also..and this makes it even more complicated...I have celiac disease, so I can't tolerate gluten - aka WHEAT - So nothing with flour - My mother has it too, so it's very important that she does not have to question everything she is eating...and heck, I'd like to be able to eat comfortably too! So this sort of limits the types of appetizers we would want to serve. Any ideas on how to approach this? (We have the cake figured out - we will be using a vegan gluten free bakery)...If we use an in house caterer I'm wondering if they'll be able to accomodate us, and if so...do you think they'll charge us rediculous amts of $$ to specialize the menu? I would THINK it should be less expensive if we are having no meat...but wondering if anyone has had experience with either of these situations and planning a menu?Phewww...that was long..SORRY! Thanks ladies!

ac_in_dc · July 2009

I'm not a vegetarian, but I work for an enviro organization with a lot of them. We've used vegan caterers before (we're in DC) and they're awesome. I'd shop around at specialty caterers, get prices and sample menus. Then come back & post some sample menus for us & then we can tell you if it sounds reasonable

Do you eat eggs & cheese? That would make things easier. Also, some ethnic foods, like Indian, Thai, Middle Eastern, etc, have good veg options. Maybe something like that for your wedding menu?

sucrets4 · July 2009

I'm a vegetarian, but I think that you should offer meat for your guests. Why would you throw a party and only serve what you like? Of course you, your FI, and your mom need to have choices, but I would strongly recommend that you serve at least 1 meat dish.For our cocktail hour, we had a mix of both meat and non meat. Btw, my friends rated them and said the veg ones were better, lol.For our app we picked a LI stuffed clam. I don't eat them and didn't. There was plenty of food, but it was something more specific to LI and a favorite amongst a lot of people. Remember that the reception is really for your guests. Be a good host and don't force them to obey your dietary restrictions. You could even have small cake for you guys and a (cheaper, probably) sheet cake in the back for your guests.

ac_in_dc · July 2009

btw, I'm 90% sure that with the right caterer you'll be able to pull together an awesome menu. I've made vegan paella for friends before which was amazing. Maybe something mediterranean? Hummous? Olives? Artichokes? Polenta? Just some ideas...

punkyb2b · July 2009

I'm a most of the time vegan, sometimes vegetarian. Most people here (and I agree) that your guests would appreciate a meat option. having a heavy meat free dish is also an option. have a few apps that are veg and a few that arent if you can. Our caterer made 2 gluten free meals for 2 of our guests. it wasnt a bug deal to them to do. Ask your caterer about it and options of what they can do. We can give lots of suggestions but they will go nowhere if your caterer wont work with you. Good luck!

ScarletGem · July 2009

FI and I are both vegetarians, but we're very laid-back about it. We're serving two meat entrees, because we know that most of our guests are serious meat eaters and would absolutely notice if meat was missing. But we're adding an extra "side" to the menu, an awesome pasta-and-veggies dish that is just the sort of thing that FI and I love as an entree. So for us and the few other veggies there, that "side" will be the entree. That way, everyone will have their fill and go away satisfied. In the end, we decided to make sure that our guests were happy and comfortable rather than force our beliefs on all of them.

ffmaid · July 2009

1. Do you feel that fish is verbotten in your ethics? Could you serve meat this once ?just as you are happy when people follow your food preferences those meat eating guests will be happy you follow theirs. Because no meat no fish no bread reception honestly I woudl be very disappointed as a guest. No non vegitarian is going to consider pasta or rissorto a filling main dish with fake cake for dessert. My DH and I and almost every person I knopw would be at a resturant trying to get dinner after your wedding

katiespills · July 2009

As a fellow vegetarian, I can somewhat relate. In an ideal world I'd love to do what you're doing, but honestly (since I am the only vegetarian that will be at the wedding) we're having meat-based entrees so everyone else can enjoy the food. We're actually having barbeque of all things. At first I was definitely disappointed that I wouldn't be able to eat most of the food at my own wedding. However, I decided it was more important to please the guests. There are plenty of vegetarian friendly caterers (some only serve vegetarian options). If you are looking for a specific suggestion, I would recommend posting on your local board for ideas.

ScarletGem · July 2009

Oh! And all of our appetizers and sides are veggie-friendly. The meat entrees are the only thing that FI and I won't eat, so most everything there will be "fair game" for us.

nda_roxybabe · July 2009

Hmm, although I'm definately not a vegatarian I would be pleased with a pasta main dish. On the other hand, T would not be satisfied he really "needs" meat to feel like he has had a full meal (even if it were just chicken on the pasta). Also, you said your family are big meat eaters...if this is the case im sure they will be looking for some kind of meat option.

ac_in_dc · July 2009

I'm totally outvoted, but one more thought: If I went to an Orthodox Jewish wedding I wouldn't expect to be served shellfish or non-kosher items. Why would this be any different?

lyndausvi · July 2009

I think you are being too restrictive. I would add a few gluten and meat options to either the apps or entree course. You or your mom do not have to eat them. It will just give your guests some variety, yet leaving you will some options also. We had a raw bar at the wedding, yet I do not eat shellfish. I still had plenty of other options, but my guests who do eat shellfish really loved the option.

mandysmear · July 2009

I don't eat a lot of meat because I simply do not like it. I was at a wedding last week and I loaded up on salad and carbs because I didn't feel like roast beef or turkey. However, I think it's rude not to offer any meat to your guests. If you want people to respect your beliefs and food choices you should respect theirs.

MeaghanandMichael · July 2009

I worked very hard to put together vegetarian entree and appetizer options for my guests with different belief systems/lifestyles. I would expect reciprocity.

lyndausvi · July 2009

ac - No I would not expect shellfish or pig at a Kosher meal, but outside of those two main obvious items Kosher food is not really restrictive. It's the process of how it's cooked, grown, etc that makes it restrictive. So you can still have beef or fish and long as you do not mix meat and dairy.

fangsiting · July 2009

Our reception is half vegan/half pescetarian. Unfortunately, it's not cheap. The vegan option is asian tofu stir-fry, which I'm guessing is gluten-free. I agree with ac in dc. Ethnic foods with a rice base might be the easiest. That way you aren't requiring any of the fancy gluten-free substitutes that can be pretty expensive. and sucrets4--why should vegetarians serve only vegetarian food? (1) it's not a matter of just liking the food if you have a moral objection to the food. I wouldn't go to a hindu wedding and expect beef. (2) even if it were a matter of just liking food--of course it's ok to do that. you can't serve everything--as the host, you have to make cuts. sure, if you have some ridiculous food issues like you eat only pasta with maple syrup and colored sprinkles, then maybe you should also serve food you don't like. Chances are that at any wedding there will be someone who doesn't like any of the entrees being served. (3) meat-eaters can eat vegetarian food & guess what--most of them like it. especially if you do something veg that a meat eater would order at a restaurant or make at home without thinking about it being veg. you even said your guests preferred the vegetarian food--so why did you have to have the less desirable meat apps? (4) the reception is for the guests & you are providing those guests with delicious food. The food just happens to be vegetarian. I fail to see how providing people with food they like to eat is offensive.

mandysmear · July 2009

::nods head in agreement with lynda::you can't really compare the two.

jlkenned · July 2009

I appreciate your problem, two members of our bridal party are strict vegans, so we worked with our venue to make sure there is plenty that they will be able to eat. I think you would be safe with all veggie apps as long as you offer a meat option for dinner. Conversely, I think you might also be ok for you to only have the veggie pasta for dinner as long as you have several meat options in your apps. Dont' take offense to this, please, but I really think you should have normal dairy cake for your guests. Have a small vegan cake for you two and your mom but everyone else should get traditional cake. The reason that I'm saying this is that vegan baked goods taste sooooo funky to me and the texture is almost always weird. And I am not a picky eater. Its just that if you are used to regular baked goods, the vegan ones taste strange. I had some vegan carrot cake the other day (carrot cake is my very favorite baked good, ever!) and I couldn't eat more than 1/4 of it. It just was "off" to me and it killed my appetite for it. If you really really want to try to have the vegan cake for everyone, take a couple non-veg friends to the tasting and get them to give you an honest opinion. good luck : )

sucrets4 · July 2009

fang - I think you're confusing me with someone else. I'm an advocate for serving meat, and that's what we did.

fangsiting · July 2009

Eating meat is not a belief system like not eating meat is. Please tell me what religion or philosophy that forbids eating vegetarian food. If a guest at my wedding was part of that belief system, then I would provide them with an entree. People eat meat because they like it. It's not a moral decision.

fangsiting · July 2009

sucrets4--I know you served meat. And my response was why I thought that was unnecessary.

BecW2be · July 2009

when we come to visit, and my mother goes out of her way to eat 'like us' when I stay with her (which is great, although I totally don't expect her to do that.)This is why I think you should accommodate your guests, especially since you mention they are big meat eaters. I think you should note which things you and your mother can eat and not limit your menu for the other 99% of the guest list.

fangsiting · July 2009

jlkenned, you haven't had good vegan cake. My family and friends (all non-veg) are requesting vegan cake from this one bakery in DC (Sticky Fingers--it's amazing). I also make great vegan baked goods. I'll admit not everything comes out well (there were some scones that could have been used as hockey pucks), but people don't believe me when I tell them my cupcakes or cakes are vegan. If you go to the right bakery, no one will complain.

wadingmoose · July 2009

My FI is diabetic, as is my father. I'm not serving a diabetic meal to everyone.But I do so love the vegetarians that refuse to serve meat. It's funny that you expect to be accommodated when you go places - and trust me, my hindu friend never complains, but I've seen the crap he's been served and felt really badly for him.Why would you put your guests in a situation where they aren't comfortable with the food being served to them? Regardless of your beliefs. I'm an omnivore (as humans are meant to be). I suppose this means that at my wedding I should really just offer foods I'd like to eat. The vegetarians can eat salad, can't they? Pick around the meat?Thankfully for my vegetarian guests, I don't feel that way and I will provide them with vegetarian options, as I do at all holiday meals in my home. I also provide diabetic meals for my family and gluten free for my friend. That's what a good host does. I even give the ex-alcoholic beverages without booze. I'm cool like that ;)I do not liken vegetarianism to a religion that prevents consumption of animals because of how the animal is viewed in the religion.

ac_in_dc · July 2009

If you really want to do a vegan/veg menu, pull one together and invite one of your meat-eating relatives to the tasting. If they come out hungry/unsatisfied, then you'll know how most of your guests will feel. But I bet many of the folks on this board would be pleasantly surprised if they actually ate a really excellent vegetarian meal, they probably wouldn't miss the meat at all. Most of the people I work with don't eat meat b/c meat consumption contributes to environmental degradation. I think for folks trying to plan an ecologically-conscious wedding may want to serve no meat. That being said, I'm serving a mixed grill at my reception--lamb, sausage, and chicken--and there will be beef and ham in the appetizers. Yum!!!

sucrets4 · July 2009

As usual, ditto moosey 100%.I think that if a majority of your guests are veg then it makes sense, but she said that is not the case.

fangsiting · July 2009

wadingmoose, I don't expect people to serve me vegetarian food. I bring a granola bar with me to events, including weddings, if I'm not sure veg food will be served. I bring my own veggie burgers to cookouts and offer to bring a protein-filled side dish to dinner parties. I've eaten numerous iceberg lettuce side salads at restaurants that don't serve vegetarian food if other people really want to eat there. And just because you don't think vegetarianism is a moral belief system, doesn't mean that it is not.

Pirata13 · July 2009

I guess it may depend on your venue and whether you have to use in-house or are allowed to have anyone cater. We purposely chose a place we can bring our own in b/c FI & I both know people who cater. I hardly eat any meat and have a few friends who are vegetarian. My friend is doing our catering so he really worked to come up with a happy medium. Our tentative menu is:assorted fruits and cheeses w/dipping saucesshrimp cocktailpesto stuffed mushroomsfeta, olive & rosemary quichettessaladtuscan lemon chickenvegetable lasagnaroasted baby potatoesparmesan roasted broccoliSo a little for everyone...Most caterers should be willing to work with you.

momofayden · July 2009

Simply I would offer a meat and vegetarian option on the menu. I might make the veggie option curtailed to something you can eat without gluten (like not using pasta as the veggie option). Most weddings offer a chicken or steak option. Maybe you could do a smaller combo plate that included both on one. Or a buffet would be an easy solution so people can pick what they want.

mandysmear · July 2009

Like I said, I eat like a vegetarian most of the time. Not because of any beliefs but because I hate cooking it and it's not my favorite. I STILL think it's wrong not to offer anything at least non-vegan. My sister went vegan for awhile, and sorry but that food tasted awful.

sucrets4 · July 2009

fang - I've done all those things, too, and a lot of times I'll snack on something before the wedding in case there isn't something to eat. Yes, we are the exception and I don't expect to be provided with certain things. However, EVERY wedding/event that I have ever been to has been able to make a veggie dish, even if it wasn't included in the menu choices. I'm picky, so sometimes I don't eat all of it. On the flip side, I highly doubt that a caterer would make a specially requested meat dish. As I said before, the reception is a thank you to your guests. I think that serving a meat option is the most polite thing to do. It can be 1 choice with all other veggie sides, but I believe that it should be an option.

Any vegan/vegetarians/gluten-free-ers out there?

Re: Any vegan/vegetarians/gluten-free-ers out there?

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