Prenup, sort of... am I being too sensetive?

AmoroAgain · July 2009

FI and I don't have any real assets, but we're doing a prenup anyway because it was important to him. I don't really care, and honestly- my parents have been divorcing and taking each other back and forth to court for ten f-ing years. Anything that would keep us out of that situation, I'm all for.FYI, if you went into a lawyer's office, and your FI had set up the appointment, that lawyer would represent your FI, but can't legally represent you both. You HAVE to have a lawyer no matter what. Don't make this bigger than it is. Your FI's family just wants to protect what their family has worked so hard to build. Lesser things have been destroyed through divorce, and it makes perfect sense for them to want this.

mrsAE · July 2009

Searching online, it looks like the marital property agreement is unique to Wisconsin.

LarissaAnn · July 2009

Technically if the business belongs to his parents or other family members and he's not an owner anyway, then you wouldn't actually have a right to a piece of the business whether or not you signed anything. It'd be like him working for any other company. If he does become an owner or inherits the business, whether you'd have a right to part of it depends on what state you're in. You can have a prenup or not, as you see fit. I draft them, but I don't particularly like them. BUT... DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING, EVER, unless you have it reviewed by your own privately retained attorney and make sure of what you're giving up and make sure you're protected too. Note: A prenup 15 days before the wedding might be unenforceable in the future anyway, because of the way it's being sprung on you. A court might find that you were strongarmed into it.

TheSaltyPeanut · July 2009

They are not just unique to WI... I just asked one of our attorneys and he informed me that they may be legally called something else, the element is still there. You have the right in all 50 states to protect your property, (a farm, restaurant, etc), an item, jewelry, etc.

TheSaltyPeanut · July 2009

Right on Larissa.

mrsAE · July 2009

Right, they are legally called a prenup.

TheSaltyPeanut · July 2009

yes, and a marital property agreement is a TYPE of prenupt!

FallinAgain · July 2009

I don't practice family law, but I don't see how you could include in a pre-nup a specific asset that you don't own. I would think that as terms of the sale of the restaurant, you could create a joint venture contract providing that he retains ownshership of the building, name, vendor contracts, goodwill, etc. and that she will be compensated for 50% of the appraised value of the restaurant in the event the joint venture is dissolved by either partner.To answer the original question, this is a smart and reasonable decision on the family's part. You should have your lawyer review any document that comes up and you should be sure that you are reasonably compensated should the marriage not work out.

LarissaAnn · July 2009

The majority of my practice has always been family law. You can provide for the asset now, as an "in case of inheritance or future ownership." There's nothing wrong with that in a prenup.

TheSaltyPeanut · July 2009

We do a lot of that too...

FallinAgain · July 2009

That makes sense.

ac_in_dc · July 2009

Just my opinion, but I think that the argument that you should "just sign it" because it's his family's business is utter crap. If you got divorced in a year, sure, it wouldn't make sense for you to stake a claim on the family biz, even if he has partial ownership at that point.However, if you and he raise kids together, pour your blood sweat and tears into helping grow the family business, plus sink most of your joint assets into the biz, and then he decides to take off with some skank ho, you should have some recourse to recover some of the assets that you helped to build that would at that point be sunk in to the business.FWIW I don't think either of these things are going to happen, and I wish you guys all of the best!

ffmaid · July 2009

Well I see their point of being unwilling to give you half of a buisness they built in case of divorce. I'd talk thru the what ifs. What if fi dies before you have kids does it go to teh parents or you What if after you have kids , ect What if you are married 10 years 30 years 50 years ? I'd probably sign it. But I might suggest that you have rights to 1% of teh buisness per year the two of you are married up to 50 years at which point it is 50/50 as a compromize.

tlv204 · July 2009

I would sign it, but I certainly can't tell you what to do. I have stock in a family company that everyone, including my DH, would really prefer to stay on my side of the family. We didn't actually sign anything because Missouri law adequately protects inherited property, but we considered it, more in case of death than in case of divorce.

jennylynnhankins · July 2009

Thanks, AC! He would become partial owner if we move so he can run the business; that's why they want me to sign something relinquishing rights to the business because we'll already be married.Mrs. AE: In this case, would it be an agreement between FI and I, or an agreement between the three parties (IL's, FI & I)? IL's will still own 50% of company.

sme168 · July 2009

I didn't read all of the responses, so I don't know if someone already said this, but I suggest you take the document to a lawyer before you sign it. Even if it's a straightforward as, "I promise I won't take your buisness away from you."

tlv204 · July 2009

What would happen if, god forbid, your husband were to die before you have kids, but you hadn't signed the prenup and the business goes to you? If you really need money for some reason, you could sell it to whomever you want to, which IMO wouldn't be fair at all to his family. I also agree though that you need to protect yourself, particularly if you do end up putting a lot of work into the business. Most prenups wouldn't be enforceable at all if you don't have your own legal representation, so ditto PPs on getting on that. And I also agree that at this point, a post-nup might be your best bet. I don't know a lot about those, but they're definitely worth checking out if it's an option in your state.

mrsAE · July 2009

The prenup would be between you and your fiance since they will be giving him ownership of the company. It will be about his percentage of the business and the percentage you state of his share like- he has 50%, you request 50% of his business assets, then you will get 25% of the business.

mrsAE · July 2009

I would also clearly state x% of all business assets, not specifics in case he has other businesses later. I also would be interested, with all this advice, who here actually has a prenup besides me? I did my homework and consulted with the biggest divorce pitbull in NY.

wadingmoose · July 2009

Most people here are suggesting she talk to her own lawyer. Regardless of your pre-nup qualifications, advice on a message board should NEVER replace real life advice from a qualified professional.

LarissaAnn · July 2009

Not me. Like I said, I've just been drafting them for 14 years... don't want one myself.

LarissaAnn · July 2009

Wadingmoose, 100%. Even I can't give legal advice on this... she needs a Texas lawyer specifically. My NY/NJ experience doesn't do a thing for her except in general terms.

mrsAE · July 2009

That isn't what I mean, wading. Everyone is up in arms about her even having one and boo hoo it is right before the wedding. It isn't a big deal and when you merge your assets, it isn't personal, it becomes a business transaction. Leave emotions out of it.

wadingmoose · July 2009

Actually, I didn't see anyone say she didn't need a pre nup. I saw debate about whether this was a prenup, what constitues a prenup and whether or not she should have a piece of the business that his family spent 50 years building...FWIW, I can fully support myself. If my FI's family had a business that they built, I would sign a paper saying I had no claim to it because I don't, nor would I want to. But my family's business has been in the family for 100 years. It ain't much, but it's a lot of history and I'd hate to see that destroyed by a divorce.

mrsAE · July 2009

I also can support myself and came to the table with significant real estate. If I emotionally support him, and he continues to be successful, I am entitled to his business assets. You are speaking with your emotions now, who knows what will happen later. I trust my husband but things happen and when you remove at least some risk factor, it makes it easier.

AmoroAgain · July 2009

MrsE, at the end of the day, you're not a lawyer, you don't live in OP's state of residence, and while you have your personal experience, that doesn't make your opinion fact. What you believe is only what you believe, and may not necessarily be truth.

wadingmoose · July 2009

I don't think you understand. I'm already divorced and I went through that without a pre-nup, post nup or any nup.I was willing to walk away with nothing. Money, businesses, all of that crap mean zero to me.But you may be right. If I get divorced again, I might care. But probably not. I also hate the idea of alimony, feel that the assets should be split 50/50 unless there's some kind of extenuating circumstance - like a family business, inheritance or some other significant imbalance.I know. It's crazy.

mrsAE · July 2009

Amaro, wading gets my point. Yes, btw, I think it is really crazy.

danieliza1127 · July 2009

Everyone is up in arms about her even having one and boo hoo it is right before the weddingReally? It seemed to me that the majority of the responses were telling her to sign it, just have her own attorney review it first.

wadingmoose · July 2009

Meh. I grew up without money. If I end up without money, life goes on.FWIW, Alberta divorce laws make it pretty hard to do anything except split the assets 50/50. If you try to, you'll spend whatever you hope to win in legal fees fighting it. And when you lose (which, it's my understanding, you will), you also get ordered to pay the court costs and legal fees of the other party.

Prenup, sort of... am I being too sensetive?

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